I had something of a lie-in. I came downstairs to be told
by “er indoors TM” that she had fixed the dishwasher; the
implication being that I had somehow poggered it. As I had a shave Bailey was
getting told off for eating Treacle’s poop; that was somehow my fault too.
I had a quick look at the Internet over brekkie; three
Facebook friends were having birthdays today. Not one has made any attempt to
contact me in over seven years. I like Facebook in that it is a good way of
keeping in touch, but for all that there is one person posting content and
things of interest, there are twenty just watching. There was a petty religious
squabble happening on of the Facebook pages I follow, but this morning the
Internet was relatively quiet.
With “er indoors TM” off to the office
today I took the dogs up to the woods where we had a rather good walk. Again we
saw the bloke with the akitas before he saw us. We saw a pair of young ladies
with their dog on the end of a twenty-five metre-long lead. The dogs all played
together; their dog had one of our dog treats. As we walked off so their dog
made the most impressive know with the lead that you ever did see. There is a
place for twenty-five metre-long leads, and it is in the dustbin.
As we drove home again listened to the radio for five
minutes and then found myself thinking. There was a program on the radio: “Young Again”. What
advice would you give to a younger version of yourself?
Given the chance I’d say take your (my) schoolwork
seriously. Back in the day I did very well at “O”-levels, but made a total arse
of “A”-levels. I did homework on a Monday night. Tuesday night was pub night at
the Hare and Hounds (pissed and change out of a quid). Wednesday night
was Boys Brigade band. Thursday night was bible club. Friday night was Boys
Brigade. Saturday and Sunday were working all hours at the Harbour restaurant.
Hardly surprising I bombed out of “A”-levels after the first year with an
average exam score of twenty-eight per cent’ is it? Those of my old muckers who
did their homework did so much better in life than me. Or if not better, ended
up in bigger houses taking better holidays and retiring years earlier than me.
Mind you it was through the religion that I met “er
indoors TM” so it wasn’t all bad (he smarmed).
I got home, opened the back window so that I could hear the
radio, and turned Alexa to Radio Ashford. Sadly it wasn’t gripping. I turned to
“Classical Music for Dogs” and got on with painting the bit of the fence
closest to the house. I had this idea that if I got it done whilst “er
indoors TM” was in the office I wouldn’t be disturbing her by
farting around right outside the window where she works. But to get to that
part of the fence I had to move the lock-ups with all the camping gear in them.
They were heavy.
As I painted I remembered Nutty Noodle who used to live
next door. I often wonder what happened to him; looking back I suspect he was
clinically insane. In years gone by when painting the fence he once leant over
the fence on his side and bellowed at me to stop painting immediately because
I’d made a serious mistake. I was painting the fence in “Dark Oak”. He
assured me that everyone knows that there is only one colour to paint a fence,
and that is green. When I asked him why B&Q have such an extensive range of
colours, he replied (in all seriousness) “that’s what I’d like to
know”.
With that bit of the fence painted I collapsed on the sofa
with the dogs and watched episodes of “Four In a Bed” in which the woman
who complained about how crap everyone else’s bed and breakfasts were had far
and away the worst one of the lot, the ones who found fault with everyone else’s
cooked breakfasts were the people who only offered bread and croissants, and the
winners were the people who had twenty-three staff doing all the work for them.
“er indoors TM” returned and boiled up
a rather good bit of steak for dinner. We scoffed that with a bottle of merlot
whilst watching “Taskmaster: New Zealand” and “The Completely Made-Up
Adventures of Dick Turpin”. For an obscure program on an even more obscure
platform it’s got quite an impressive cast.
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