17 April 2026 (Friday) - Early Shift, Drains

Well, last night was a case of the old, old story. With an alarm set I was wide awake from three o'clock which (in all honesty) wasn't bad for a night with an alarm set.

I got up, made toast and watched an episode of "The Man In The High Castle" which was rather good. I got ready for work and set off. I couldn't help but notice that the bins hadn't been strewn all over the pavements, the bin men weren't bellowing swear words up the street and the bin lorry had been parked in such a way that it wasn't deliberately blocking the road. Someone in authority must have had a word with them.

 

As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking the ongoing situation in the Middle East.

The Israeli and Lebanese governments are holding talks because (so it would seem) President Trump has ordered them to.

The British and French governments are organising an international armada to look after the strait of Hormuz; an international armada involving pretty much everyone except those currently at war over the place.

And the UK government is preparing for double figure inflation as the price of food looks set to go through the roof at the end of the year... or so it was claimed. The head of the Butcombe brewery was wheeled on who said that inflation of food prices might go through the roof; it is too early to tell.

It strikes me that whoever is wheeled on to the morning news is very firm about their opinions, and no two hold the same opinion.

 

Pausing only briefly to get a sandwich from Sainsburys I went in to the early shift. I spent much of the day whistling "Edelweiss" which is the theme tune to "The Man In The High Castle", and was a favourite song of my late grandmother. For some reason I have always been convinced that the song was also a firm favourite of Adolf Hitler's but it turned out the song was written fifteen years after he died.  One lives and learns.

 

And I got rather wound up as I chatted with the trainees. Being a professional blood-tester has always needed rather specialist post-graduate qualifications. Back in the day we would apply to be an apprentice blood tester. The ones who were successful (I got the thumbs-down on my first application) would spend four days a week in the workplace, and one day a week at a college. After four years of this we'd qualify with a degree, and those who wanted to go on to Masters level could do so over a further two years. 

A paid day off work each week to go to college, college fees paid, train fare to get there paid, the price of lunch and tea stumped up, and thirty quid to spend on text books… all the costs was part of our wages.  It might have taken longer to get a degree than the traditional full-time route would, but at the end of it all we had a qualification, professional registration and a job. And consequently it was attractive.  There was stiff competition to be an apprentice blood tester back then, and that's why I didn't get in on the first attempt.

Sadly about ten years after I started, someone in an office realised just how much it cost and decided that we would appoint staff at the point at which they qualified, and apprentice blood testers could pay for their own education... Some of the trainees now have over eighty thousand quid's worth of debt...

This is nothing new... but it came as something of a revelation to me...

 

As the day wore on so I had some messages from “er indoors ^TM”. The nice drains man had arrived. Regular readers of this drivel may recall our turd outlet hasn't been flowing as well as it might. The nice drain man opened the manhole cover over the communal sewer to find it was only a few inches from the top, and there wasn't just turds floating in it. It would seem the nice people a few doors up have been chucking "women's things" down their chodbin. I can't say that was the problem, but it certainly couldn't have helped. Still, I'm glad he found them. He can have that conversation with the neighbours. 

I got the message that he was sending some submarine camera down the drain, and then my shift was over. There's no denying that I drove down the motorway with something of a sense of trepidation.

 

I came home to find the nice man had gone. Apparently he’d seen nothing untoward with his sub-aqua camera so he just gave it all a particularly vigorous rodding and hoped for the best, and that cleared it. I saw that as a result. Seven years ago the nice people from the water company sent a camera-equipped submarine down there and told us that something had collapsed in the drain and there was a load of rats and shingle down there (in with the turds). Either today’s nice man’s camera had a turd on the lens or he wasn’t looking hard enough, or the last bloke was mistaken.

Here’s hoping the drain is good for another seven years…

 

I had intended to take the dogs to the woods this evening, but I’d had to park three streets away, and the current plan is that they should get a decent walk tomorrow. So we just did “FEED THE FISH” instead, and prepared my sat-nav “Hannah” for tomorrow.

We had fish and chips and watched “Race Across the World” in which the contestants were racing across Turkey. Some of the contestants went across the turtle rescue centre at Iztuzu beach where we visited when on holiday seven years ago.

I’d like to go back there at some point…

16 April 2026 (Thursday) - Still Tired

I slept well last night – that’s what night shifts do. But for some odd reason I was far warmer in bed last night than I had been on Tuesday afternoon or yesterday morning. How did that work?

 

I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet. Having finally sorted my antivirus yesterday my Facebook feed was full of adverts for antivirus products. The marketing algorithms haven’t quite got it right, have they? Now that I’ve bought something it is too late to get adverts for whatever it is. Last week I bought a year’s worth of razor blades and for two days job lots of razor blades was all I saw on social media.

 

I got the dogs onto their leads and we went to the woods. The upper car park has been heaving for the last two weeks, filled with people who very rarely go to the woods so today I tried the lower car park which was empty. No one knows it is there. We walked a different walk to usual, and every time we took a turn that isn’t on our usual walk so Morgan would give me a look as if to ask if I was sure.

The dogs waded in the pond that I told them not to wade in. They rolled in the muck I told them to leave alone… an average walk really.

 

We came home for a cuppa, and I farted around with the lap-top and my phone tweaking the McAfee antivirus that I’d got yesterday.

I really needed a new package – what I had was with AVG, The antivirus seemed to work, but although I thought I’d paid for the tuneup software, it kept telling me that I might like to buy it. The final straw was when they took money for it (again), but again told me the advantages of getting something that they’d sold me but hadn’t given me.

There was a minor hiccup when I thought I didn’t have an antivirus… The AVG antivirus that I’d got rid of was called “AVG antivirus” (so you knew what you were getting). McAfee don’t do antivirus. They do “livesafe” which is their antivirus package but with a frankly meaningless name. Eventually I figured this out.

You’d think it would have a sensible name, wouldn’t you? Their “McAfee PC Optimiser” tells you what you are getting, doesn’t it?

After quite a bit of farting about I was as confident that I could be that my lap-top was free of viruses and malware, and I had a protection score of six hundred and forty-nine out of a possible thousand which I was told was good. Was it? I have absolutely no idea.

 

I Munzed, and Wordled from “virus” (it seemed appropriate) through “fluid” and “untie” to “cubit” which was rather a stupid word, wasn’t it?

And then I pootled in the garden for a bit. Trimming and pruning and stuff. I sat by the pond with the dogs and read my Kindle for a bit…  and woke up an hour or so later. It was getting cold so I came in and watched a couple of episodes of “The Man In The High Castle”.

 

“er indoors ^TM” finished her day’s work and bearing in mind she’d destroyed the ironing board she went shopping for a new ironing board for me. I say “for me” … it really was for me. And whilst she was out she got a couple of acers too.

We’ve had acers in the past which have always died. Let’s see what I can do with these ones…

15 April 2026 (Wednesday) - After the Night Shift

The first night shift I worked was in August 1985. Things were different then - that shift was sixteen hours long and I was called in from home each time I was needed. Starting at five o’clock in the afternoon and working through till nine o’clock the next morning I did work on half a dozen patients, finished the last call at half past midnight and was in bed for most of the night.

These days we work an eleven-hour night shift for which we are up all night. I had work from over fifty different patients, did weekly maintenance on eight different analysers, and walked over five thousand steps between my watch re-setting at midnight and the early shift coming in at quarter to eight. Judging from the distances that I walk round the woods that’s about two and a quarter miles, or slightly less than the longer walk round Orlestone woods.

I shall spark up the “Map My Walk” app on my next night shift.

 

At four o’clock this morning my phone beeped. A couple of new geocaches had gone live withing a couple of miles of home. Maybe I could get a quick First to Find on my way home?

As I walked to my car I called up those caches on my phone to plan my route… both had been found for the first time by quarter past six… I took a deep breath and drove straight home where I went to bed for the morning.

 

Despite having been up all night I slept poorly. I got maybe a couple of hours sleep and got up (feeling like death warmed up) at midday. With still no news from the drain-rodding people I had a little look at the drains. The water lever had subsided a lot since yesterday. It was still higher than it should have been, but nowhere near as high as it had been yesterday. Realistically it could have been like that for weeks (and probably has been). I took a chance, put a load of washing in, made toast and had a little look at the Internet. It was much the same as ever.

 

With washing washed I thought I might iron the shirts whilst they were still damp. Shirts always iron better when damp…

I spent half an hour trying to repair the ironing board. Whilst I hadn’t been looking er indoors ^TM” had done some ironing and in the process had comprehensively destroyed the ironing board. I had a go with hammer, screwdriver and mole grips, and eventually got the thing useable with a length of string.

I did the ironing whilst watching a couple of episodes of “The Man In The High Castle” which were rather good. We did “FEED THE FISH”, then with the weather cheering up we went up to the woods.

 

We walked a rather shorter version of our standard walk. Bailey rolled in something disgusting and Treacle tried to eat a long-dead chaffinch. But “er indoors ^TM” got to see the bluebells so that was a result.

I must admit I expected that the woods would be heaving with the world and his wife going to see the bluebells, but the car park was quiet, and once we were away from the car park we didn’t see anyone at all.

 

We came home and had a rather good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching the second “Stand Up To Cancer” episode of Bake Off which featured four so-called celebrities. I’d actually heard of one of them…

 

For a day which is post night shift I’ve walked nearly eighteen thousand steps…

14 April 2026 (Tuesday) - Before the Night Shift

I slept better than I have done recently, which was something of a result. I got up at half past seven, made toast and had a look at the Internet. There was quite a bit of controversy of Facebook as that idiot Donald Trump has published a picture of himself healing the sick; the implication being that he is Jesus. Personally I can’t see how or why someone who is demonstrably senile is still in office, but what do I know? The American masses seem to love him. But love him or loathe him, he’s a showman. He amuses the masses most of whom really don’t understand the first thing about what is going on in the world, and most of whom don’t care about what is going on in the world. He says what they want to hear. The masses don’t want to be governed, they want to be entertained. That is why Boris Johnson got to be in charge and this is why Nigel Farage will be the next Prime Minister.

Democracy, eh?

I Munzed, and with the dogs having had their brekkie I got ready for the off.

 

We drove up to the woods. As we drove the pundits on the radio were talking about next month’s local elections. Several politicians were wheeled on and it all became something of “children in the playground” calling each other names.

We got to the woods rather later than we did yesterday. There were quite a few cars in the car park. We walked a slightly different route to our usual one and had a good walk. Bailey found a bone, but it was already dead long before we arrived, it wasn't a whole animal and it was too big for her to eat in one go. She'd not rolled in anything foul, and no tourists had got the hump about it either. I saw that as a result.

As we walked we met some strange bloke with four spaniels. Three came to say hello; he grabbed the fourth one by the ear and dragged that dog’s head to the ground whilst saying that the dog could be funny. I’m not surprised.

As we walked we were constantly avoiding off-road bikes. The wood was full of cyclists today.

We got back to the car to find the car park was full. Not a space to be had.

 

We came home. I made us a cuppa, I Wordled, wrote up some CPD, then had a little pootle in the garden as it is National Gardening Day today. As I pootled I noticed that the water level in the drain seemed a little high. I lifted the cover – it was about two inches from overflowing. Woops. I phoned Kim at Southern Water who said she’d send someone with some rods.

Despite the blocked drain I had a quick shower as I’d worked up quite a sweat while we’d been up the wood, and leaving “er indoors ^TM” with instructions to deal with plumbers I went off to bed for the afternoon.

Morgan and Bailey came with me – they love being on the big bed.

 

I stayed in bed for three hours; maybe sleeping for one of them. If God was to re-design humanity (not that it designed it in the first place…) perhaps rather than getting into bed and laying wide awake might not be the way forward. It would be so much easier if we came with an “off” switch so that we could sleep at sleep time. That way we wouldn’t be wide awake when we are supposed to be asleep, and no nodding off when we are supposed to be doing stuff.

 

I got up and Treacle watched me like a hawk. She knew it was time to go down the garden to provide nourishment to the piscine denizens of the aquatic environment (as I have to call it when she is listening) but she waits until I announce that I’m going to “FEED THE FISH” before she charges down the garden.

We did “FEED THE FISH” and whilst I was outside I had a look at  the water in the drain. The level had gone down a few inches which was a result, but we’ve had no messages about anyone with rods coming just yet.

 

I’m now off to the night shift. I’ve not done one of those since 20 December 2024 what with having blood pressure. But now my blood pressure is back to what it should be, I’m on the nights again. Mind you I say it is back to what it should be; I’ve not actually checked it since January as the blood pressure machine’s batteries have gone flat. Maybe I should check…

13 April 2026 (Monday) - Bad Dog (!)

I suppose I slept better than I often do, but I still wasn’t on top form when I woke. A mild headache and general aching… pretty much like I feel all the time these days.

I got up, made toast and had a look at the Internet. It was much the same as it always is. But there was an interesting advert…

 

Being up early and with rain forecast for the morning I took the dogs out early. As we drove to the woods the pundits on the radio were interviewing someone or other from Reform UK who was spouting on about all the failures of the current political system. But when it was suggested that pretty much everything he was banging on about was the legacy of years and years of Conservative governments, and that the vast majority of Reform politicians are ex-Conservatives he had absolutely no answer whatsoever. Reform UK are riding high on the public’s discontent, the public’s general ignorance of the political progress, and the Prime Minister being one of the dullest we’ve ever had.

The country’s political system definitely needs to be reformed, but Reform UK is the same old piss in a different shaped bottle. Sadly what choices have we got?

A relatively new Labour government that the public regretted voting in the moment that it was voted in.

What’s left of the old Conservative government that got voted out.

The old Conservative government that got voted out now posturing under two new names.

Well meaning incompetence that had its chance and blew it sixteen years ago

And tree-huggers.

None of which seem to be particularly appealing.

 

We got to the woods and had a good walk… mostly. As we walked there was a minor episode when some German tourists started shouting “Bad Dog!!” at little Bailey. They were rather indignant as they told me that Bailey "is bad dog. She has eating the animal in her mouth”. I told them that it wasn't the first dead mouse she'd had, and I very much doubted if it would be the last. And better a dead mouse than a live squirrel or rabbit like we've had before.

It was as well that the nice German tourists didn't see what Bailey had been rolling in.

 

We walked our usual route. The ground had really dried up; we walked the same route as we usually walk and did it fifteen minutes quicker than what we took in January. The bluebells were in full bloom; they will be gone in a couple of weeks.

As we came back to the car we met another dog walker who we know by sight. We walked back to the car park together and shared a whinge about the people who only take their dogs for walks during holidays. The woods are full of them at the moment. They go mental when any other dog goes anywhere near them. Morgan sniffed another dog’s arse last week and was accused of attacking it.

 

Once home the girls got a wash. Morgan was clean(ish) but Treacle and Bailey had been rolling in muck. I made us both a cuppa, Munzed, and Wordled from “feral” (which was a surprisingly good start) through “lifes” to “elfin” (as it couldn’t be anything else that I could see) to get it on the third go.

 

With cuppa guzzled and the forecast rain not having appeared I went into the garden for a little pootle. I gathered up dog dung, then picked the larger sticks and twigs before going round with the garden vacuum. I weeded, gathered up more dog dung, then went at the patio and the gravelled areas with the bionic burner. I then strimmed the slabs that go up the lawn. I started going round the edges with garden scissors, but the strimmer did a much quicker job. I went round with the watering can, and then read my Kindle for a bit.

 

“Daddies’ Little Angel ^TM” needed a lift home, so I ran her to Folkestone. Whilst I was there I wasted twenty minutes in a bush. A new geocache had gone live in Cheriton yesterday with the hint “bushes”. I personally would have given more of a hint than that, but gave it a good effort before I walked away.

The thing has since been found by someone claiming it as their first find ever… I’m calling shenanigans on that.

I came home via Wickes. Screwfix Direct, Thanet Tool Hire and B&Q. None of which sold the fence repair gizmo I’ve been after. I shall try the garden centres before I give up and go to Amazon.

 

I came home, and spent an hour or so marking trainee’s work, then stood up and loudly announced that I was going to “FEED THE FISH”. Treacle leapt up and we went out to find that the drizzle that has started as I’d come home had been rather heavy. Maybe I hadn’t needed to water the plants at all?

And once we’d fed the fish so the rain returned… torrential, and then turned to hail.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a rather good curry which we washed down with a bottle of the red stuff whilst watching the first episode of the new series of “Taskmaster” out of five contestants I’d heard of one.

And then we watched the SUTC Bake Off and cracked open the Disaronno… 

12 April 2026 (Sunday) - Opening the Container

I woke at seven o’clock to the sound of loud barking… only to find all dogs fast asleep. That was some really vivid dream. I went back to sleep for another couple of hours.

I put a load of washing in to scrub, told Treacle off for trying to bully Bailey off of her brekkie, made toast and had a little look at the Internet. It was still there, and much the same as ever. I scoffed toast whilst I watched another episode of “The Man In The High Castle” which has seriously got me thinking recently. Set in America some fifteen years after it (in another plane of reality) lost the second world war, so many of the protagonists are fiercely patriotic about their home country, be it America, Japan or Germany. We see this locally with flags being hung from lamp posts…

Am I wrong in not having this patriotic fervour at all?

 

With telly watched I hung out the washing and set the dishwasher going, then Munzed and Wordled. “Sound” gave me nothing so I started again with “heavy” from where I went through “matey” and “abbey” to “alley”.

We then took the dogs out. The weather forecast wasn’t great so we wanted a short walk. We parked up in Kennington and walked across the fields to where there was supposedly a geocache. We eventually found it… and I squealed it up for needing some maintenance. The given co-ordinates were quite a bit out, and the thing was a glass jar with a rusty lid. We then continued on a (sort-of) circular walk home.

It was a shame that Bailey had to be so wilful as we walked. She is fine when we go to Kings Wood or Longbeech or somewhere that we know, but she can be a nightmare in places that are new to her. She didn’t get *that* deep into the brambles, and there wasn’t really *that* much blood from my hand when I finally got her out.

 

We came home. I harvested an epic crop of dog dung from the garden, and looked at the bird feeder. Despite the Royal Society for the Prevention of Birds (!) saying we shouldn’t feed them, the sparrows do like a scoff. I topped it up…  We had a cuppa, I wrote up some CPD.

 

With the forecast rain having come to nothing I got the lawnmower out and trimmed the grass, watered the flowers, did “FEED THE FISH”, cleaned out the aerator head on the pond, and sat by the pond for a while until “er indoors ^TM” came out to upset the dogs. She said it was practice for her sponsored skipping thing, but the dogs (and Bailey in particular) *really* didn’t like her skipping with a rope.

 

It got cold so I came in. And we both spent over an hour on the next geo-project. Chris has got a 3-D printer and he’s printed us each a puzzle geocache. They are rather good; a smashing little pressie for which I for one am very grateful.

It’s a simple little idea. Open the blue cylinder and sign the piece of paper inside… Once you’ve figured out how to open the thing it is relatively straightforward, but it takes some figuring.

I’ll be honest – it is a really good present and I think it is too good to stuff under a rock as a geocache. But that is what Chris made it for. So if it is going to be a geocache I shall try to make something decent of it. In the first instance I will need a location which ideally has a seat so’s people can sit down with it, and is well away from where the normal people might come across it by chance. And while I’m trying to find a location I shall test the thing on a few people to see if anyone can open it quicker than I did (i.e. in less than an hour) so I can judge how to rate the thing’s difficulty.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up pork chops which we scoffed whilst watching an episode of “Taskmaster”. We’ve got the latest “Wallace and Gromit” film on now, but I might not stay the course… I’m not feeling on top form.

I wonder what that’s all about?

11 April 2026 (Saturday) - Games Night

It was after four o’clock when I woke this morning. But again once I was awake and that was it. I came down a little while later to find Morgan sitting by the back door…

Yesterday was another anniversary… a happier one than I ranted about yesterday. Yesterday marked four years since the puppies arrived in our house. Originally I only wanted Bailey. Morgan looked too much like my Fudge-dog and I felt it wouldn’t be fair on Morgan to take him on because I would always be comparing him to Fudge. As I typed the last paragraph I actually wrote… “to find Fudge sitting by the back door”.

But I took him on, even though I am continually calling Morgan by Fudge’s name which is really silly. The physical resemblance is superficial at best, and temperamentally they are poles apart. I miss Fudge, but I wouldn’t be without Morgan.

 

I made toast and watched another episode of “The Man In The High Castle”. I’m up to episode five and don’t really have much idea of what is going on.

I had a little look at the Internet. It was much the same as it ever was. This morning’s petty bickering on Facebook was on one of the geocaching pages I follow. Some “rather special” chap in America has formed his own breakaway Facebook group after taking offence that everyone else told him that “being special” was no excuse for being a twit. This morning one of his cronies had announced that he was going to make wheelchair-user-friendly geocaches and seemed to be amazed that this was already a thing and had been so for years.

There was also quite a lot of posting on Facebook about yesterday's elections in nearby Cliftonville. The incumbent Reform councillor had gone to jail, and yesterday the Greens had won the vote to replace him. I did chuckle when so many pro-Reform voters were talking about how a narrow a margin the Greens had won by. Nothing like as narrow a margin as the Brexit vote had been, but which the very same people still (ten years later) loudly claim as a resounding victory.

 

I Munzed, and got ready for work. I didn’t really want to work this morning but there it is. Over the last two years I’ve rather enjoyed being part time, but a month ago the boss asked if I could do four weeks of extra hours to help with the new computer system. I said I could… in retrospect I wish I hadn’t. The money is nice, and learning something new is good, but the trouble with work is you have to do work. I’d rather pootle and potter and if I want to sit by the pond and have a nap, then I’d rather sit by the pond and have a nap.

 

I made my way to my car. As I went I activated my Munzee map. As I'd Munzed earlier so a new temporary Munzee  had appeared just down the road. I thought I might get it as I walked to the car. In the time it had taken me to put on my shoes so “er indoors ^TM”  had woken up and Munzed it herself.

 

I drove off west-wards listening to the pundits on the radio. As I drove there was talk about the enquiry into the case of Valdo Calocane (who suffered from paranoid schizophrenia) who killed three people and seriously injured three other people in Nottingham city centre three years ago despite being well known to the local authorities. There was an interview with one of the families involved who said that one of the things that came out of the enquiry was how inexperienced some of the officials were, and generally how crap the system had been. 

Am I being cynical in thinking "been there, done that"?

And there was talk of the Artemis II which splashed down safely last night. As always as in the case with anything remotely scientific or not related to petty political squabbling, the matter was treated with mild condescension. It boils my piss that proper news is treated as a subject of disdain whilst that which will be forgotten by the end of the day and which will wrap tomorrow's chips is seen as being oh-so-important. 

 

On the stroke of eight o'clock I turned over to Radio Ashford to listen to Steve on the radio. He'd mentioned that there was a new DAB channel for radio Ashford. There was, but sadly (like the FM signal) it only reached as far as the hill at Goudhurst where I lost him.

I went in to work where I did my bit. As I worked I used the works Internet to tune back in to Steve on the radio. I got the mystery year pretty much right away - when did Rumbelows close down? I knew that - I bought my first home PC from them (for a small fortune) just before they went belly-up in 1995.

 

At tea break I had a Belgian bun. As I'd driven through Goudhurst I saw the little bakery there was open. I went in and joined the queue. There weren't many people waiting, but the staff were rather hopeless. It really doesn't take ten minutes to sell a couple of cakes, does it?  And sadly the bun wasn't worth the ten minutes that I spent queueing for it. It would be unfair to say that the thing was rock hard as it was certainly softer than a rock... well, most rocks.

But there's no denying that I won't be hurrying back to that little bakery. There's no convenient car parking spot in Goudhurst, and do I really want to give them another chance? I really don't want to have to go out of my way only to face another bun like todays. It was supposed to have been a little treat(!) I can get a bun which is better and cheaper (and with a far higher chance of being half-way decent) by going to Tesco or Sainsburys; I certainly will next time. And this is *exactly* the problem that so many little businesses face, isn't it? 

I had a little look on Google and saw that I called into the place four years ago and had a stale Belgian bun that time too...

 

I came home. “er indoors ^TM” went shopping, and I settled in front of the telly under a pile of dogs and watched another episode of “The Man In The High Castle” whilst Treacle alternately snored and farted. I don’t know what she’s eaten recently but I do know she’s not going to eat it again. Oh, her arse was rank.

I cleaned out the fish tank’s filter and “er indoors ^TM” returned with Whitby buns. Very nice.

 

Chris, Steve and Sarah came round and we had a rather good games night. I won Game of Life, came second in Sorry and second in Ticket to Ride. But (to be honest) I could have come last in everything and still have had a very good evening with friends.

I do like our game nights…