20 May 2026 (Wednesday) - Before the Late Shift

Back in January I mentioned that Forestry England were charging to park a car in Battle Great Wood. Last night Steve told me that Forestry England are going to start charging for parking in Kings Wood. Bearing in mind our average walk, and bearing in mind the cost of parking at Battle Great Wood that would set me back about thirty quid a month.

So I joined Forestry England which costs eight quid a month and gives me free parking. This morning as I scoffed my toast I saw that the tree huggers are contacting Forestry England to find out what the new parking charges will mean for them. I wonder if they are hoping for a discount. And quite a lot of locals were oh-so-happily showing off their ignorance about how the world works. Kings Wood is run by Forestry England. It is utterly and totally nothing at all to do with either the local council, the county council or any of the privately owned local building companies. But still those with single-digit IQs were ranting about how some vague “they” were planning to chase everyone out of the woods so that “they” could build more houses.

Building in those woods is an argument that was done to death twenty years ago.

I Wordled from “great” to “wreck” in three goes. I Munzed, opening two qrates and getting two more.

I went upstairs and got dressed maybe not as quietly as I might have done. I wanted to get a move on and everyone else needed to get up anyway.

 

With time shorter than usual I took the dogs to Orlestone. As we drove the pundits on the radio were saying that what with the Strait of Hormuz closed, Russian oil can now be bought… *if* it is first processed in another country. What’s that all about?

We got to the woods and walked a couple of miles. The dogs were well behaved; it was a shame that Bailey had to roll in fox poo, but there it is.

As we walked I ran the “Map My Walk” app. In January I accepted the challenge to walk one thousand kilometers over the year. I’m over half-way.

 

We came home where Bailey had a bath. With soap (!) I got changed and leaving “er indoors ^TM” and the dogs I set off to work a bit earlier than I might have done.  I'd looked at Google Maps and saw that to get to Whelans (in Sheerness) the quickest way was to go up the motorway. It was a shame that no-one had told Google that the Operation Brock stupidity was back in place. I drove the sixteen miles at seemingly a snail's pace stuck behind a rather wide static caravan which was taking up both lanes.

I can remember at last year's elections the Reform UK candidate was quite clear that under a Reform UK led county council, Operation Brock would be a thing of the past. Mind you they said the same about stopping the illegal immigration and sorting out the flooding at the Asda underpass, didn't they? You don't suppose that they just said that black was white and made all sorts of claims about which they would be utterly powerless to implement purely in order to get elected, do you?

I got to Whelan's. Yesterday I phoned the garden centre that I couldn't get to (because of the traffic) and found that the water feature fountain ornament that I wanted was far too expensive. I had this idea that Whelan's might have something at a much better price.

They did.

 

Whilst I was there I saw a rather nice little bird water bath thingy. I thought that I might get that as a little pressie for Karl and Tracy. I'd be driving past their house on the way to work so I thought that I could park up and using my ninja-like stealth I could sneak it into their garden, and then disappear like a shadow, leaving them scratching their heads in wonderment about where the new ornament had come from.

It was a good idea which was sadly thwarted by their motion-sensitive camera.

I need to work on my ninja-like stealth.

 

From there I went on to Aylesford Aquatics. Three years ago I slated the place on Google reviews and it hasn't got any better in the meantime. I had an idea I might get the hoses I need for my new water feature... Let's just say that I sighed and walked out, and leave it at that.

I then drove on to the petrol station at the nearby Sainsbury's where I got petrol and lunch. Getting lunch took some doing. I can't help but wonder if I was being thick... It turned out that despite every single food item being labelled as "meal deal", only certain items were actually in the meal deal. The woman behind the till felt that it was rather obvious what was and what wasn't in the deal, and seemed to think that the labelling was some sort of advertising or artwork. It certainly wasn't in any way intended to let people know what was and wasn't in the meal deal.

I sighed again.

 

I then went on to the late shift which was busier than I'd hoped. 

I’m not a fan of the late shifts…

19 May 2026 (Tuesday) - Early Shift

I was fast asleep when “er indoors ^TM” decided to have an argument with Bailey last night. Personally I can't see why Bailey can't go out into the garden every twenty minutes all through the night if she wants to... as long as I'm not disturbed about it.  I eventually nodded off again but woke in a sweat following a rather vivid nightmare in which an old friend had devised a money-making scheme. The idea was that by replacing lockers at swimming pools and sports centres with fridges, people's clothing would stay fresher for longer. I'm not sure how come I got the job of replacing the nation's lockers...

 

Finding myself wide awake at four o'clock I tried to get back to sleep, but it wasn't happening. I got up and as I made toast there was quite the procession of dogs wanting to go into the garden.

I scoffed toast whilst watching another episode of "The Handmaid's Tale" in which again not a lot seemed to happen. As I watched so that noisy dog came up the road... It was odd. The moment I heard its barking I charged outside to tell the owner to keep the noise down... and there was no one to be seen in the street. 

 

I got dressed and set off for work. This morning the DAB radio worked fine all the way from home to work. As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about how the Scottish First Minister is planning to put a cap on the price of groceries. In theory it's a rather good idea. In practice if shopkeepers are forced to sell food without being able to make a profit then they aren't going to sell food, are they? It’s called market forces...

And there was talk about the Ebola epidemic in Africa. It was claimed that much of the problem was down to the locals not trusting proper medicine and preferring to use crackpot faith healers. You have to wonder why, when proper medicine works and crackpot faith healing doesn't.

 

I popped into Sainsburys to get lunch. I counted all my coins into the machine. As I did so the rather angry assistant glared at me. I don't see why it was such a big deal to her, but clearly it was.

And then I went in to work where a colleague had made fudge in honour of her birthday. It was rather good, and I'm reliably informed that it is quite easy to make. I might have a go.

 

The plan was that after work I would go to Bybrook Barn garden centre to have a look at a water feature I could hook up to the new aerator pump. I drove to the garden centre… and joined the queue of traffic at Sainsburys. After twenty minutes I’d travelled maybe twenty yards so I gave up and came home.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up sausages and we scoffed them whilst watching more of “The Orville”. I might have an early night… I’m worn out. Even if being at work my step count for today is only a third of what it was yesterday.

18 May 2026 (Monday) - A Walk, Ironing, Stuff...

I slept rather well last night. Over brekkie I had my usual root around the internet and my piss boiled on one of the supposedly work-related Facebook pages in which people were talking about an incident on a cruise ship when a call went out for someone who knew their blood group so they could give a unit of blood to a fellow passenger.

Blood transfusions simply don’t work that way… unless it is your intention to kill someone. I was reminded of my days in scouting when a local group were going to Africa and the leader wanted to know everyone’s blood group so that he could know whose blood could go into who… He was serious. He’d done his research by reading up on Wikipedia (!) and I had to involve the Chief Scout and the British Blood Transfusion Society to dissuade him.

Here’s a tip… if you ever meet anyone using the phrase “universal donor” or “universal recipient” then you know for a fact that the person you’ve met knows absolutely nothing about blood transfusions.

And I saw that the Rother Valley brewery has closed down. They brewed “Level Best”, “Blues” and “Smild”; three of my favourite beers. It turns out the chap who ran the brewery is in his eighties and he’s had enough. I’m twenty years younger and I know the feeling.

I Munzed, and Wordled from “about” to “loath” in four goes.

 

I took the dogs out. I tuned the radio to Radio Four’s DAB channel, and again as I went past the Matalan roundabout and up Chart Road so Radio Ashford came over the top of it. Perhaps it’s an interference thing as it only happens in that location?

As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about the new head honcho at the BBC. Last week he was a big cheese at Google. I can’t see what transferrable skills a search engine company would have for a broadcaster, but this would seem to be how senior managers operate. Perhaps I might jack it all in and become a coastguard or a driving instructor?

 

We got to the woods where we met Nala. Nala was a rather lovable staffie who clearly wanted to join in with our group and come with us. She showed no inclination to go back to the rather angry looking thug who was screaming at her from across the field, and I can’t say I blamed her for that.

We walked a variation on our usual walk. I’m keen that we don’t do the same walk every time. Back in the day we got into a vicious circle with Fudge who got so used to the route we took that he wouldn’t walk any other route. And the route we took had to be the anticlockwise way round as well. He simply refused to walk anything different; I had to put his lead on him and drag him if we wanted a change.

As we walked so Bailey rolled in fox poo. Treacle thought the sink hole had dried out. It hadn’t; the stinking mud was belly deep. Morgan chased squirrels.

 

We went out having seen the weather forecast had been for showers. We walked about four and a half miles over an hour and a half and it was only when we got home that the rain hit.

The girls both had a bath. With soap. I then made us both a cuppa and looked at the rain. I did have a plan to sort the pond aerator pump I’d bought on Friday, but that could keep until the rain stopped. And with the lawn wet, mowing it would have been silly.

I put shirts in to wash, wrote up some CPD, and marked some trainee’s portfolio work. For all that the trainees put in a lot of effort I do think they miss out by not going on a day release and meeting up with other trainees and getting lectures from senior workplace staff in a university environment. Like I did.

I suppose that was rather expensive though.

 

After a couple of scones for lunch I did the ironing. A dull task, bit one that needed doing. As I ironed I watched a couple of episodes of “The Handmaid’s Tale” which featured her who was rather lesbidaceous in “Orange is the New Black”. And then with the rain having subsided I ran the hair trimmers over my head and did “FEED THE FISH”. I then topped up the new bird feeder. Sadly when the advert said “doesn’t scatter seed” what it actually meant was “scatters seed like a thing possessed”. We’ve ordered some seed trays, but having re-organised the area around the feeder last week it is now much easier to sweep up with a yard brush.

As I topped up the feeder so I could see the sparrows getting rather impatient, and the robin was on the feeder by the time I’d put the bulk supply of bird seed into the shed.

And then a blue tit came for some food. That was a result.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up fish and chips which we scoffed whilst watching “Richard Osman’s House of Games”. Have you ever watched it? It’s one of the better TV quiz shows which is sadly marred by the so-called celebrities who star in the show who are always oh-so-quick to proudly show off their ignorance.

 

“er indoors ^TM” then went bowling as she does went bowling as she does most Mondays. I made myself comfortable on the sofa and watched a couple more episodes of “The Handmaid’s Tale”. The story doesn’t seem to be going anywhere…

17 May 2026 (Sunday) - Boughton Aluph to Wye (and back)

It was a rather late night last night as we watched the voting for the Eurovision Song Contest. My choice (the Romanian dominatrix lesbians) came in third. The winners (Bulgaria) had five hundred and sixteen points, while the UK came in last with just one point. Back in the day I would have said “We came in last” but I don’t feel any connection with what is supposed to be my country these days. Yesterday there was a “Unite the Nation” rally… it’s rather ironic that those who are loudest in advocating patriotism are those who make me ashamed to be British.

 

I didn’t get up till half past nine this morning. That was something of a result. I made toast and peered into Facebook as I do. Several friends were off on holidays. Dorset, Seattle, Spain… And there was a strange posting on one of the work-related groups. Someone had posted a photo of a blood film and had asked a multiple-choice question of what the salient features were. Amazingly everyone had got the answer right, and then at the bottom of the page I saw “Show Hidden Comments”. Apparently some comments were hidden because they may be “offensive, off-topic or spam”. I clicked to see the hidden comments. None were offensive, off-topic or spam. However all of the hidden comments were giving wrong answers.

I Munzed and Wordled from “night” to “bylaw” in four goes as two magpies argued in the garden. That didn’t bother the dogs much(!)

 

I looked at the weather forecasts. The BBC claimed there would be rain showers all day. The Met Office claimed it would be dry until early afternoon. We chose to go with the Met Office and took the dogs out for a walk.

We drove out to Boughton Aluph and walked along quiet lanes and footpaths to the church. The plan was then to go back to the car, but it wouldn’t be *that* far to go into Wye and the weather looked OK. So that’s what we did. It was a shame that Bailey had to roll in fox poo, but that’s the sort of dog she is.

We walked out to The Sawyers.  I once went there with my Fudge when the beer selection was amazing. Today they only had a couple of ales on, but the place was friendly. And we met Alan there. It was good to catch up.

From there we went on on to the Tickled Trout. It was a friendly enough place. It was rather pretty sitting by the river. But… Eighteen quid for a pint and a half and four bags of crisps? Seriously? The same had been ten quid cheaper not five minutes’ walk up the road.

From there we headed back to the car. It was a shame that “er indoors ^TM” dropped Treacle’s lead on the way back, and with lead retrieved it was another shame that Bailey had to run amok in a thicket, but there it is.

We got back to the car to find we’d covered six miles. I thought it would have been maybe three and a half.

We came home and with the sun still shining we had a pint and some crisps in the garden.

I took a few photos as we walked and sat and drank. I was so glad we’d not taken much notice of the weather forecast.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up pizza which we scoffed whilst watching another episode of “The Orville”.

I’m quite worn out; we’ve had a busy day…

 

16 May 2026 (Saturday) - Dog Club, Radio, Tip Run, Late Shift

I slept rather well; the alarm woke me this morning. That rarely happens. I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet. There were two bitter and nasty arguments this morning on Facebook. One on an advert about bird feeders and one about a pub I periodically drive past.

The RSPB has suggested that people don’t use bird feeders over the summer, and that has gone down like a lead balloon with those who make a living from selling bird feeders.

And the current leaseholder of The Peacock in Cranbrook has announced that he will not be renewing his lease, and that there isn’t anyone who looks keen to take over. There are those who were up in arms about another pub closing, but seriously? We had a pub lunch the other day. A meal and a couple of drinks cost over fifty quid. And we were in with the great unwashed. Who wants to spend good money to be in the pub next to me and my dogs? Every pub needs a hard core of customers who go regularly (daily) and hand copious amounts of money over the bar. And that’s the biggest problem that The Peacock in Cranbrook has. I say “in Cranbrook”; the local Facebook pages say it in Goudhurst… it’s actually mid-way between the two villages on a rather busy road with no way of getting there safely unless you drive.

 

I sent out birthday wishes to a Facebook friend. Twenty years ago she was one of my trainees. Her boyfriend of the time (now her husband) set himself up as a plumber… they now live in a rather nice mansion on the Kent-Sussex border.

If I had my time again…

I Munzed, and Wordled from “slept” to “mover” in four goes.

Steve was on the radio doing the “Guess the Lyrics” competition on the radio. “There were incidents and accidents”. I had no idea - it was You Can Call Me Al by Paul Simon. Whilst I wracked my brain, “The Number One Song In Heaven” was playing on the radio; a very good choice…

We got ready for Dog Club.

 

Dog Club was good today. I tried counting several times. I don’t think there was over twenty dogs along but attendance was certainly in the high teens. All the dogs had a great time, and Bailey stood up for herself by picking on Phoenix. Phoenix is a rather loveable Australian sheep-dog who didn’t deserve to be picked on.

 

As we drove home Steve was doing the “Mystery Year” competition on the radio. In which year was the first Harry Potter film released? No? – 2001.

I then spent a few minutes getting rubbish into the car. The sleepers that the rats had chewed. The poggered water feature, the poggered pressure-washer. The Yard of Ale which seemed such a good idea at the time but just gathered dust and was impossible to clean. With Ashford’s tip still closed the obvious place and time to unload rubbish is the tip at Allington before a late shift. Rather amazingly I’d been able to book a space for this morning.

 

I set off to work sulking. As I have said so many times working in a hospital means I work early in the morning, late at night, weekends, bank holidays, and all night long. It goes with the territory. But I do resent working at the weekends when the sun is out. The weather was glorious as I left home.

Bearing in mind Radio Ashford's new DAB signal, I thought I'd listen to that on the way to work. Unfortunately the signal kept cutting out as I drove along Brookfield Road, but nil desperandum - I had a stroke of genius that it might be my car's radio that was at fault rather than the signal itself. So to prove a point I turned to Radio Four on the DAB. After a few seconds of their program I heard Steve's voice cutting across giving Radio Ashford's travel news. 

I think my car's DAB had had it. I shall get a new one...

Or to be more accurate I shall add it to the list of new things that I'd like to have. It's currently quite a long way down the list after various other new things including pants, deodorant, work shoes and a pressure washer. The FM band on the car radio works well enough though... I suspect the new DAB car radio will come with the new car... which I hope won't be for a little while.

 

I stopped off at the tip at Allington where once I'd dumped the rubbish I had a look round their tat shop. All of the half-way decent tat that goes to any of Kent's tips gets salvaged and put on sale in a little shop at the Allington tip. Paintings, glasses, furniture, lawnmowers, guitars, records... it was just like going back in time fifteen years to the tat shop that my mother-in-law used to run, or back in time fifty years to a Boys Brigade jumble sale. 

Sadly they didn't have any car DAB radios.

 

From there I went on to work and the late shift where I spent a while peering out the window in the rather selfish hope that it would rain. And I was rather pleased when it hossed down at three o'clock. I know that's mean of me, but there it is.  Having had to turn down the offer of an afternoon on the beer I really didn't want to be looking out of the window at an afternoon which would have been ideal for being on the beer.

 

I came home where “er indoors ^TM” had boiled up a rather good plate of fajitas which we scoffed whilst watching the end of the Eurovision Song Contest. (“er indoors ^TM” had seen it from the start). I can’t pretend to be a fan of Eurovision, but the entries from Lithuania and Norway were frankly dreadful. And I couldn’t help but wonder what were the Austrians thinking of?

In the end my vote was split between the Cypriot jubblies and the Romanian dominatrix lesbians.

Call me an old traditionalist if you will… 

 

15 May 2026 (Friday) - Early Shift

With an alarm set I was wide awake far too early this morning and watching an episode of “The Handmaid’s Tale” at five o’clock. Disappointingly the jubblies were flopped out in this morning’s episode. I say “disappointingly” because (for all that I am a fan of jubblies) their being flopped out in any TV series usually means the writers have run out of ideas.

As I watched I listened out for that dog which has come down the street barking at five o’clock every day this week. I was all set to go out and have a word, but this morning either they walked somewhere else, or they walked quietly.

 

I then had a little look at the Internet as I do. This morning I didn’t see a single advert for anything. That was rather odd. There was a petty squabble about some upcoming film in which Supergirl had pierced ears. For some people that really was a matter of the utmost importance.

I got dressed and set off to work.

 

I hobbled out to the car and set off west-wards through the -hursts and the -dens.  As I drove I listened to the pundits on the radio. The mayor of Manchester is looking set to jack in being mayor in favour of being Prime Minister. He's got a sitting MP to stand down for him... and in doing so has illustrated a strange procedural irregularity in our parliamentary system. If an MP jacks it in then there has to be a public election to replace them. However if the Prime Minister jacks it in then there's no public election. This isn't news; this is well established and has been going on for years. It's all a bit odd though. In practice it means that *if* Andy Burnham gets elected as an MP he can then get straight in to the top job pretty much right away. However there is a big "if". Where he's standing had a total Reform UK vote in last week’s council elections. I suspect he's going to fall at the first hurdle.

And there was an interview with the head honcho of the company that makes the Raspberry Pi computers. He was talking about delivery costs and plastic prices in such a way that if it all got too expensive then his company could just make ice cream or dog collars instead. For some people the profession isn't "insurance" or "teaching" or "baker" or "farrier" or "manufacturer". For some people the profession really is "making a profit", and how they make that profit is entirely secondary to what their company actually does. The chap was talking about "bleeding edge technology". I laughed at him for getting the phrase wrong. Surely he meant "leading edge technology". It turned out that I was wrong and he was right. "Bleeding edge technology" is a thing.

One lives and learns.

 

I stopped off at the Pembury Tesco to get a sandwich, and whilst I was at it a bag (or three) of dog treats for tomorrow's Dog Club. As always no one was operating the proper tills. I made a point of checking the self-service tills to make sure I got the meal deal bargain (which I did) but there was a minor hiccup with the dog treats. On the shelf the label said "three for three pounds" but the machine said it was three for three pounds fifty pence. Bearing in mind the squabble I'd had with them last Saturday I really couldn't be arsed to bicker.

There was also a potential issue with the self-service machine in that as I fed all my loose change into the machine I rather lost count. Looking back I'm sure it must be my mistake, but I couldn't help but feel that the machine took a quid too much. I've felt that before; next time I shall be more strict with my counting.

 

I got to work where I did the best I could with my dodgy back. Mind you the pain has moved into my right arse cheek.  I'm OK all the time I'm moving or still; it's getting up that hurts it. I managed to wangle a day at the microscope which was probably as much sitting still as is possible to do.

And at tea break in a novel break with tradition I had some of the hot chocolate. It was rather nicer than the coffee. I would have that more often... if it weren't about ten times the calories of a cup of coffee.

 

Being on an early I escaped early. Not early enough to do a tip run, but early enough to take a circuitous route home via Rolvenden’s World of Water where were having a sale. I got a half-price aerator pump, and a third-price grass carp. As long as the pump works and Morgan doesn’t eat the little fish, this will be a bargain.

 

And “er indoors ^TM” got a new bird feeder. Apparently this one doesn’t scatter seed everywhere… for the simple reason that the birds are terrified of it and are yet to actually feed from it.

14 May 2026 (Thursday) - Back Still Hurts

That dog (someone else’s) was barking up the street again at five o’clock this morning, and once I’d nodded off again so “er indoors ^TM”’s alarm went off… even though she wasn’t going in to the office today.

I made toast and looked at the Internet as I do most mornings. This morning there was no end of bickering about Cranbrook of all places. Some landscape gardeners and a café down the place’s high street were coming in for a *lot* of criticism this morning. Both allegedly owed customers money… I suppose that seeing how going to court costs so much, naming and shaming is the only option open to most people; even though this presupposes that the accused have done anything to be named and shamed about.

I Munzed, and Wordled. Starting with “today” I eventually got “waver” on the last attempt.

 

I took the dogs up to the woods. As we drove the pundits on the radio were talking about how Angela Rayner has got her tax issues sorted and so can now make a bid for leadership of the Labour party. The Health Secretary is supposed to standing as a candidate, and there’s talk about Andy Burnham (the head honcho in Manchester) standing as well… if only he could get into parliament in the next few days.

We got to the woods where it was rather cold, but after a mile or so the sun came out. We walked about five and a half uneventful miles; just how I liked it. Mind you, again my watch and my phone disagreed on the exact distance. I wonder why they are always so much adrift; it’s not as though one or other of them takes a short cut.

Bailey did manage a roll in a turd at the last minute, so when we came home she had a bath.

 

I made us both a cuppa and got us both an Aldi kit-kat, then went out to the garden. I got about a quarter of the lawn mowed before the torrential rain hit. So much for mowing for today.

I put a load of washing in to scrub, then tried to renew my works car parking permit. Nothing is ever easy, it it? I marked eight pieces of trainee’s portfolio work.

And seeing the rain had stopped I went back outside to the garden.

 

I checked the fuse in the pressure washer. A new one made no difference; it remained poggered.

I got the poggered aerator pump out of the pond. That was easy enough. Getting the cable out took some doing as I’d buried it quite comprehensively. I had to shift quite a bit of the rockery and shingle, and my back wasn’t all that good to begin with.

I’ve now got to get rid of the pressure-washer and the aerator pump. I had a vague hope I could go to the tip at Tunbridge Wells after work tomorrow, but the tip closes at about the time I’d be finishing the early shift. That’s a nuisance.

I spent much of the afternoon sitting in front of the telly resting my poor back. In between resting I loaded and unloaded the washing machine and hung out shirts and jim-jams, and scrubbed and tumble-dried undercrackers. And I spent a little while sorting out yet another geocaching Adventure Lab series. I’d got another credit and so did another “Lost Pubs of Ashford” series. I’d actually got it all prepared some time ago, so the hard work part was already done. If you fancy having a go at it, just scan the 2-D barcode above.

 

“er indoors ^TM” sorted burgers and chips which we scoffed whilst watching last night’s episode of “Race Across the World”. I’m thinking I wouldn’t mind a trip to Mongolia. If only I wouldn’t miss the dogs so much…