20 April 2026 (Monday) - Hitler Croaked

I got up and went straight out to the little pond. The water level was fine. So how had it emptied itself on Saturday?

I made toast and had a look at the Internet. There wasn’t a lot going on, so I took the dogs out a tad earlier than we night usually go. As we drove up there the pundits on the radio were talking about how it has been discovered that every time President Trump makes some announcement that will affect the world’s financial markets, a few minutes before he does someone makes investments and then makes a killing… almost as though they knew what he was going to say. Not that anyone was suggesting that people were being tipped off as that would be very illegal…

We got to the woods where there were only half a dozen cars in the car park. Rather different to last week. We walked our usual walk. We didn’t see anyone else, we didn’t roll in anything or wallow in anything. We chased a few squirrels, but they all got away. Perhaps if the dogs were a tad more stealthy they might have more luck?

 

After four and a bit miles we were back at the car. The “bit” was arguable depending on whether you believe my watch or my phone.

We came home via Riversdale Road where there were reports of missing geocaches. One was missing; one wasn’t. I replaced the missing one, but might archive it soon. It’s a Wherigo I wrote. The idea is that you play a little game on your phone and as you go through the game you read the words and it tells you where the final geocache is found. But if you don’t read the words but just keep pressing the buttons as fast as you possibly can you miss the information you need and you end up in the wrong place. Basically it is an exercise in following instructions… but pretty much no one reads the instructions, everyone ends up in the wrong place and then they keep sending me messages that the thing is missing when it isn’t. Today, though, it was..  

It seemed like a good idea at the time but I shall probably archive it soon and replace it with a simple film pot under a rock… either when the local hunter of First To Finds is on holiday, or I shall prime someone else to go get it first.

 

We came home where it took me a little while to park. There’s some chap who lives locally who doesn’t like cars parked anywhere near his car, so given a space big enough for two and a half cars he makes a point of parking right in the middle so no one can park near his car. I saw red and spent a few minutes shoehorning my car into the tiny space he’d left. I *might* have bumped his car a couple of times as I squeezed into the space, but that’s his problem. The parking bay outside our house has space for seven cars, and too many times there’s only four cars there because of the frankly stupid parking that goes on.

 

Once home I voomed round the garden gathering turds. It’s an endless job. And with turds gathered I had a cuppa. I did think about tidying up the garden storage box; after all it has been a little while since the door closed on the thing. But my back was aching a bit. I’ll do that tomorrow, eh?

I played around with Microsoft CoPilot, I Munzed, I Wordled from “walks” through “wharf” to “weave” on the third go… eventually. How many five-letter words are there that start with “w” and have “a” in the middle, but don’t have an “h” in them?

 

I got myself a bit of lunch and settled in front of the telly underneath a pile of dogs and watched more episodes of “The Man In The High Castle” in which Colonel Tigh from BattleStar Galactica turned up as a rogue vicar.

“My Boy ^TM” popped in. Would I look after his scooter whilst he went for a haircut? He’s got one of these electric scooters – the sort of thing he swears about when anyone else is scooting about on one. Apparently it has a top speed of sixteen miles an hour and he can get from his house to ours in seven minutes which is probably faster than I could drive it.

I pootled in the garden, I wrote up some CPD, we did “FEED THE FISH” and watered the plants.

 

“er indoors ^TM” came home from work with a job lot of shopping, boiled up scran and then went bowling. I again settled in front of the telly underneath a pile of dogs and watched more episodes of “The Man In The High Castle”. The plot has taken a rather exciting turn – Hitler has croaked.

19 April 2026 (Sunday) - Lazy Day

I went to the loo at four o’clock this morning when I noticed that next door’s lights were all on. She does get up early.

I went back to bed where I slept through till half past eight, despite various snorings and squeakings.

 

I made toast and had my usual peer into the Internet…

I had messages about the Dog Club. Having finally found someone to act as a contact in the late group, there’s indignation about how dare I suggest that the poo bag had been left (even though it was), and complaints that the lock doesn’t close properly (even though I found it closed yesterday), and how I might like to arrange for a new lock… I took a deep breath. I never asked to take on running Dog Club…

I saw quite a few people had been walking round Kings Wood yesterday looking at the bluebells and for the geocaches I’d hidden. One or two people (who have found thousands and hidden none) commented on how some of the paper logs were wet. I took another deep breath. Would it cause these people physical pain to spend a fiver and buy a ream of paper? They could cut up the sheets and take some every time they went out geocaching and replace the wet paper in less time than it takes them to complain about it.

One thing which winds me up so much is when there is anything which might not be perfect about which pretty much everyone indignantly announces that ”they should do something about it” but are completely oblivious to the sad fact that there is no “they” who go round doing things. So often the problems in life are because of the old maxim “if you want a job done, do it yourself” and so few people are prepared to do anything themselves.

I Munzed and then Wordled from “leaks” through “shart” (which it accepted!) “Spain”, then back to “scant” as I’d forgotten the “T” was in there, and got it on the fifth go with “stand”.

 

And then it was into the garden. I had a look at the leak in the little pond and couldn’t really see why the thing had emptied yesterday. I mowed the lawn, cleaned the filter of the other pond, potted two small trees, cleaned out the drains and (almost) stopped Morgan peeing up everything I was using.

I've got a pedestal I need to do something with... I'll do that later. Three hours effort and the garden looks the same as when I started.

Have I ever mentioned that I am not a fan of gardening...

 

There were reports of issues with “er indoors ^TM”’s geocaches in Rolvenden, but someone else messaged her asking if she minded if they sorted the issues for her as they walked round today. Yes please !!!

And with our faith in humanity restored (and no need to go to Rolvenden) we declared Emergency Plan B. I popped over the road to the corner shop and got a few bottles of beer which had rather interesting labels.

We spent a rather good afternoon in the garden drinking beers and ciders whilst reading stuff on the Kindle app. There was a dodgy episode when Treacle sprang up for a cuddle and destroyed everything, but we soon cleared the wreckage.

 

Over a rather good bit of dinner we watched the latest episode of “Taskmaster”.

I’ve not left the house today…

18 April 2026 (Saturday) - Dog Club, Harry Potter

I slept better than I often do, but was still wide awake at five o’clock. Rather than laying in bed I got up and watched another episode of “The Man In The High Castle”. I realise that they were quite up on rocketry, but if the Axis powers really had won the second world war, would they have had Concord-style supersonic planes in the early 1960s?

I then had my usual peer into the Internet. It was still there. The usual drivel and squabbles abounded. I saw I’d been awarded a “Top Fan” badge for having clicked Facebook’s “like” button on a few photos on a dachshund page I follow. On a more serious note someone had posted the results of their blood test to one of the work-related Facebook groups I follow… This happens quite a bit. In some parts of the world it seems you can pay to get blood tests done and then go around asking what the results mean, and asking for quotes to sort out whatever the blood test had shown… I suppose that it isn’t entirely unlike what happened when Fudge was diagnosed with chronic kidney failure several years ago.

At first glance it seemed that today’s customer had both acute leukaemia and thalassaemia minor, but there were plenty of people queueing up to offer their sage advice and were suggesting everything from “piles” through to “died three weeks ago”.

Be very careful when asking for medical (or any) advice on-line. The less someone knows, the more confident and forceful they are with their opinion. Leaving aside the (rather major) point that a professional blood tester doesn’t offer diagnoses (that’s what doctors do), am I being hopelessly idealistic in preferring to have a “patient” rather than a “customer”? And am I being hopelessly idealistic in preferring that whoever used their professional judgement to ask for the blood test would deliver the bad news rather than having someone wonder if a blood test might tell them what was wrong with them (and then go onto Facebook to have random strangers explain the results to them)?

I Munzed. I Wordled from “drain” through “clade” to realise that “shady” was probably the only word which would fit… It wasn’t “shady”. I tried random gibberish until I got it right with “toady”. Is that even a word?

 

We got ourselves together. The plan was to go straight to today’s adventure from Dog Club, so there was quite a bit to get together. As I got bottles of cider in from the fridge in the shed I thought I could smell turds… suddenly gripped by panic I had a look down the drain. The water level was back where it should be… but there was quite a bit of “toilet things” floating there. It probably needs a few flushes.

As I fiddled about so Steve was doing the “Guess the Lyrics” competition on the radio. “I’m dancing on the white house lawn”?  I had no idea either. It was “Life is a Minestrone” by 10cc.

 

We drove round to Repton and Dog Club where we had a rather good session even if attendance was down somewhat. I blame the early drizzle.

 

From there we went out t Barham where we met Karl and Tracey. We went for a little geo-walk. Last year a series of puzzle geocaches went out all based on the “Harry Potter” books. The puzzles were fun, and the final geocache were all excellent; some involved well thought out field puzzles. In over sixteen thousand finds this series is probably the best series I’ve ever walked. The only criticism I could make would be that at nine miles it was a tad long; maybe two shorter loops might have been more manageable for an old git like me.

 

We walked nine miles over six hours, and with walk walked we retired to the Duke of Cumberland where we had a rather good bit of dinner washed down by a few pints of very good ale…

 

We came home to a minor disaster in the small fish pond. I shall deal with that in the morning.

In the meantime, here’s some photos of today.

17 April 2026 (Friday) - Early Shift, Drains

Well, last night was a case of the old, old story. With an alarm set I was wide awake from three o'clock which (in all honesty) wasn't bad for a night with an alarm set.

I got up, made toast and watched an episode of "The Man In The High Castle" which was rather good. I got ready for work and set off. I couldn't help but notice that the bins hadn't been strewn all over the pavements, the bin men weren't bellowing swear words up the street and the bin lorry had been parked in such a way that it wasn't deliberately blocking the road. Someone in authority must have had a word with them.

 

As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking the ongoing situation in the Middle East.

The Israeli and Lebanese governments are holding talks because (so it would seem) President Trump has ordered them to.

The British and French governments are organising an international armada to look after the strait of Hormuz; an international armada involving pretty much everyone except those currently at war over the place.

And the UK government is preparing for double figure inflation as the price of food looks set to go through the roof at the end of the year... or so it was claimed. The head of the Butcombe brewery was wheeled on who said that inflation of food prices might go through the roof; it is too early to tell.

It strikes me that whoever is wheeled on to the morning news is very firm about their opinions, and no two hold the same opinion.

 

Pausing only briefly to get a sandwich from Sainsburys I went in to the early shift. I spent much of the day whistling "Edelweiss" which is the theme tune to "The Man In The High Castle", and was a favourite song of my late grandmother. For some reason I have always been convinced that the song was also a firm favourite of Adolf Hitler's but it turned out the song was written fifteen years after he died.  One lives and learns.

 

And I got rather wound up as I chatted with the trainees. Being a professional blood-tester has always needed rather specialist post-graduate qualifications. Back in the day we would apply to be an apprentice blood tester. The ones who were successful (I got the thumbs-down on my first application) would spend four days a week in the workplace, and one day a week at a college. After four years of this we'd qualify with a degree, and those who wanted to go on to Masters level could do so over a further two years. 

A paid day off work each week to go to college, college fees paid, train fare to get there paid, the price of lunch and tea stumped up, and thirty quid to spend on text books… all the costs was part of our wages.  It might have taken longer to get a degree than the traditional full-time route would, but at the end of it all we had a qualification, professional registration and a job. And consequently it was attractive.  There was stiff competition to be an apprentice blood tester back then, and that's why I didn't get in on the first attempt.

Sadly about ten years after I started, someone in an office realised just how much it cost and decided that we would appoint staff at the point at which they qualified, and apprentice blood testers could pay for their own education... Some of the trainees now have over eighty thousand quid's worth of debt...

This is nothing new... but it came as something of a revelation to me...

 

As the day wore on so I had some messages from “er indoors ^TM”. The nice drains man had arrived. Regular readers of this drivel may recall our turd outlet hasn't been flowing as well as it might. The nice drain man opened the manhole cover over the communal sewer to find it was only a few inches from the top, and there wasn't just turds floating in it. It would seem the nice people a few doors up have been chucking "women's things" down their chodbin. I can't say that was the problem, but it certainly couldn't have helped. Still, I'm glad he found them. He can have that conversation with the neighbours. 

I got the message that he was sending some submarine camera down the drain, and then my shift was over. There's no denying that I drove down the motorway with something of a sense of trepidation.

 

I came home to find the nice man had gone. Apparently he’d seen nothing untoward with his sub-aqua camera so he just gave it all a particularly vigorous rodding and hoped for the best, and that cleared it. I saw that as a result. Seven years ago the nice people from the water company sent a camera-equipped submarine down there and told us that something had collapsed in the drain and there was a load of rats and shingle down there (in with the turds). Either today’s nice man’s camera had a turd on the lens or he wasn’t looking hard enough, or the last bloke was mistaken.

Here’s hoping the drain is good for another seven years…

 

I had intended to take the dogs to the woods this evening, but I’d had to park three streets away, and the current plan is that they should get a decent walk tomorrow. So we just did “FEED THE FISH” instead, and prepared my sat-nav “Hannah” for tomorrow.

We had fish and chips and watched “Race Across the World” in which the contestants were racing across Turkey. Some of the contestants went across the turtle rescue centre at Iztuzu beach where we visited when on holiday seven years ago.

I’d like to go back there at some point…

16 April 2026 (Thursday) - Still Tired

I slept well last night – that’s what night shifts do. But for some odd reason I was far warmer in bed last night than I had been on Tuesday afternoon or yesterday morning. How did that work?

 

I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet. Having finally sorted my antivirus yesterday my Facebook feed was full of adverts for antivirus products. The marketing algorithms haven’t quite got it right, have they? Now that I’ve bought something it is too late to get adverts for whatever it is. Last week I bought a year’s worth of razor blades and for two days job lots of razor blades was all I saw on social media.

 

I got the dogs onto their leads and we went to the woods. The upper car park has been heaving for the last two weeks, filled with people who very rarely go to the woods so today I tried the lower car park which was empty. No one knows it is there. We walked a different walk to usual, and every time we took a turn that isn’t on our usual walk so Morgan would give me a look as if to ask if I was sure.

The dogs waded in the pond that I told them not to wade in. They rolled in the muck I told them to leave alone… an average walk really.

 

We came home for a cuppa, and I farted around with the lap-top and my phone tweaking the McAfee antivirus that I’d got yesterday.

I really needed a new package – what I had was with AVG, The antivirus seemed to work, but although I thought I’d paid for the tuneup software, it kept telling me that I might like to buy it. The final straw was when they took money for it (again), but again told me the advantages of getting something that they’d sold me but hadn’t given me.

There was a minor hiccup when I thought I didn’t have an antivirus… The AVG antivirus that I’d got rid of was called “AVG antivirus” (so you knew what you were getting). McAfee don’t do antivirus. They do “livesafe” which is their antivirus package but with a frankly meaningless name. Eventually I figured this out.

You’d think it would have a sensible name, wouldn’t you? Their “McAfee PC Optimiser” tells you what you are getting, doesn’t it?

After quite a bit of farting about I was as confident that I could be that my lap-top was free of viruses and malware, and I had a protection score of six hundred and forty-nine out of a possible thousand which I was told was good. Was it? I have absolutely no idea.

 

I Munzed, and Wordled from “virus” (it seemed appropriate) through “fluid” and “untie” to “cubit” which was rather a stupid word, wasn’t it?

And then I pootled in the garden for a bit. Trimming and pruning and stuff. I sat by the pond with the dogs and read my Kindle for a bit…  and woke up an hour or so later. It was getting cold so I came in and watched a couple of episodes of “The Man In The High Castle”.

 

“er indoors ^TM” finished her day’s work and bearing in mind she’d destroyed the ironing board she went shopping for a new ironing board for me. I say “for me” … it really was for me. And whilst she was out she got a couple of acers too.

We’ve had acers in the past which have always died. Let’s see what I can do with these ones…

15 April 2026 (Wednesday) - After the Night Shift

The first night shift I worked was in August 1985. Things were different then - that shift was sixteen hours long and I was called in from home each time I was needed. Starting at five o’clock in the afternoon and working through till nine o’clock the next morning I did work on half a dozen patients, finished the last call at half past midnight and was in bed for most of the night.

These days we work an eleven-hour night shift for which we are up all night. I had work from over fifty different patients, did weekly maintenance on eight different analysers, and walked over five thousand steps between my watch re-setting at midnight and the early shift coming in at quarter to eight. Judging from the distances that I walk round the woods that’s about two and a quarter miles, or slightly less than the longer walk round Orlestone woods.

I shall spark up the “Map My Walk” app on my next night shift.

 

At four o’clock this morning my phone beeped. A couple of new geocaches had gone live withing a couple of miles of home. Maybe I could get a quick First to Find on my way home?

As I walked to my car I called up those caches on my phone to plan my route… both had been found for the first time by quarter past six… I took a deep breath and drove straight home where I went to bed for the morning.

 

Despite having been up all night I slept poorly. I got maybe a couple of hours sleep and got up (feeling like death warmed up) at midday. With still no news from the drain-rodding people I had a little look at the drains. The water lever had subsided a lot since yesterday. It was still higher than it should have been, but nowhere near as high as it had been yesterday. Realistically it could have been like that for weeks (and probably has been). I took a chance, put a load of washing in, made toast and had a little look at the Internet. It was much the same as ever.

 

With washing washed I thought I might iron the shirts whilst they were still damp. Shirts always iron better when damp…

I spent half an hour trying to repair the ironing board. Whilst I hadn’t been looking er indoors ^TM” had done some ironing and in the process had comprehensively destroyed the ironing board. I had a go with hammer, screwdriver and mole grips, and eventually got the thing useable with a length of string.

I did the ironing whilst watching a couple of episodes of “The Man In The High Castle” which were rather good. We did “FEED THE FISH”, then with the weather cheering up we went up to the woods.

 

We walked a rather shorter version of our standard walk. Bailey rolled in something disgusting and Treacle tried to eat a long-dead chaffinch. But “er indoors ^TM” got to see the bluebells so that was a result.

I must admit I expected that the woods would be heaving with the world and his wife going to see the bluebells, but the car park was quiet, and once we were away from the car park we didn’t see anyone at all.

 

We came home and had a rather good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching the second “Stand Up To Cancer” episode of Bake Off which featured four so-called celebrities. I’d actually heard of one of them…

 

For a day which is post night shift I’ve walked nearly eighteen thousand steps…

14 April 2026 (Tuesday) - Before the Night Shift

I slept better than I have done recently, which was something of a result. I got up at half past seven, made toast and had a look at the Internet. There was quite a bit of controversy of Facebook as that idiot Donald Trump has published a picture of himself healing the sick; the implication being that he is Jesus. Personally I can’t see how or why someone who is demonstrably senile is still in office, but what do I know? The American masses seem to love him. But love him or loathe him, he’s a showman. He amuses the masses most of whom really don’t understand the first thing about what is going on in the world, and most of whom don’t care about what is going on in the world. He says what they want to hear. The masses don’t want to be governed, they want to be entertained. That is why Boris Johnson got to be in charge and this is why Nigel Farage will be the next Prime Minister.

Democracy, eh?

I Munzed, and with the dogs having had their brekkie I got ready for the off.

 

We drove up to the woods. As we drove the pundits on the radio were talking about next month’s local elections. Several politicians were wheeled on and it all became something of “children in the playground” calling each other names.

We got to the woods rather later than we did yesterday. There were quite a few cars in the car park. We walked a slightly different route to our usual one and had a good walk. Bailey found a bone, but it was already dead long before we arrived, it wasn't a whole animal and it was too big for her to eat in one go. She'd not rolled in anything foul, and no tourists had got the hump about it either. I saw that as a result.

As we walked we met some strange bloke with four spaniels. Three came to say hello; he grabbed the fourth one by the ear and dragged that dog’s head to the ground whilst saying that the dog could be funny. I’m not surprised.

As we walked we were constantly avoiding off-road bikes. The wood was full of cyclists today.

We got back to the car to find the car park was full. Not a space to be had.

 

We came home. I made us a cuppa, I Wordled, wrote up some CPD, then had a little pootle in the garden as it is National Gardening Day today. As I pootled I noticed that the water level in the drain seemed a little high. I lifted the cover – it was about two inches from overflowing. Woops. I phoned Kim at Southern Water who said she’d send someone with some rods.

Despite the blocked drain I had a quick shower as I’d worked up quite a sweat while we’d been up the wood, and leaving “er indoors ^TM” with instructions to deal with plumbers I went off to bed for the afternoon.

Morgan and Bailey came with me – they love being on the big bed.

 

I stayed in bed for three hours; maybe sleeping for one of them. If God was to re-design humanity (not that it designed it in the first place…) perhaps rather than getting into bed and laying wide awake might not be the way forward. It would be so much easier if we came with an “off” switch so that we could sleep at sleep time. That way we wouldn’t be wide awake when we are supposed to be asleep, and no nodding off when we are supposed to be doing stuff.

 

I got up and Treacle watched me like a hawk. She knew it was time to go down the garden to provide nourishment to the piscine denizens of the aquatic environment (as I have to call it when she is listening) but she waits until I announce that I’m going to “FEED THE FISH” before she charges down the garden.

We did “FEED THE FISH” and whilst I was outside I had a look at  the water in the drain. The level had gone down a few inches which was a result, but we’ve had no messages about anyone with rods coming just yet.

 

I’m now off to the night shift. I’ve not done one of those since 20 December 2024 what with having blood pressure. But now my blood pressure is back to what it should be, I’m on the nights again. Mind you I say it is back to what it should be; I’ve not actually checked it since January as the blood pressure machine’s batteries have gone flat. Maybe I should check…