24 July 2026 (Friday) - Early Shift, Accounts

With an alarm set I was awake early. Not as early as I often am, but still early enough.

I made toast and scoffed it whist watching an episode of "Stranger Things" then, taking care not to wake anyone, I set off for work. As I'd watched telly so I'd heard the bin men coming up the street. Back in the day the bin men used to collect the bin from your garden and take it back again. These days you have to leave the bin out on the pavement for them, and once they've emptied the bin they just fling in in the general direction of "away from the bin lorry" and leave the pavements awash with discarded wheelie-bins. You only get you bin back if you go looking for it, and only if you get there before someone else steals it because your bin is better than theirs.

I retrieved ours, put back those of a neighbour or two, then weaved my way in and out of all the other bins which had been strewn across the pavement as I went to find my car.

 

I went to the co-op to get lunch. As I was feeding coins into the self-service machine so the stench of cannabis filled the shop. Some chap staggered into the place absolutely reeking of the stuff. These days pretty much everywhere I go seems to stink of it.  The allotments by the co-op field are particularly bad for it. It might be grown there - it certainly smells that way.

 

As I drove up the motorway the pundits on the radio were talking about the new Prime Minister who has announced even more tax cuts. The general feeling was that his predecessor was something of a dull character. The new chap is trying to avoid his mistakes, endear himself to the masses and make a name for himself. First impressions matter. Or so it was felt.

Meanwhile that idiot Donald Trump  has given the world a whole load of new trade tariffs and wonders why no one likes him.

 

I got to work and saw one of the top bosses from where I used to work was visiting. He made a great show of saying hello (as though we were long lost buddies) and he asked how I was.  I told him I was far happier working in a place where I didn't feel physically sick every day at the thought of going to work. I named a few names that (in retrospect) I should have named ten years ago.

Part of me wonders if I was right to stick the knife in after so long... part of me doesn't.

 

An early start made for an early finish. I came home down the dual carriageway that once was the M20 and hit a traffic jam. A car had broken down, and we had three miles of ten miles per hour. Meanwhile what used to be the coastbound carriageway (supposedly for lorries going to the port) sat there completely unused.

I suppose I was only half an hour late home, so I shouldn’t complain too much.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up pizza and went off out. I settled with the dogs and looked at the monthly accounts.

They could be worse, but they could be a whole lot better. It would be nice if I could magic up some money like the new Prime Minister seems to be able to do.

 

I shall now watch some more episodes of “Stranger Things” and hope I don’t fall asleep…

23 July 2026 (Thursday) - A Toad and a Pigeon

Late last night I phoned the emergency vet. The little dog I found did have a chip and had been reunited with his family. I had something of a sense of relief about that. Partly for the little dog, and partly for myself as I just know that I couldn’t have left the little thing on his own.

 

Once I’d got comfortable I slept well (the pain in my shoulder has moved into my upper arm). I got up just before eight o’clock, made toast and peered at the internet as I do. It was the same as ever. There was an interesting argument kicking off on one of the religious pages that I follow. Apparently it says in the bible “Do not eat anything you find already dead”. Presumably the implication is that you have to go hunt/forage your dinner every time. Obviously supermarkets, KFC and kebab shops are a no-no in the view of the Almighty? Clearly this is a bit daft, but then when you read the bible much of it is rather daft. I felt sorry for the god-botherers in the squabble who were claiming that you have to pick through the bible to find the bits that aren’t nonsensical. Your holy text is either the word of your god, or it isn’t. You can’t pick and choose the bits you want. Can you?

 

I Munzed, Wordled from “stray” to “orbit” in three goes, then got ready for the off. As I drove the dogs up to Challock the pundits on the radio were interviewing one of the head honchos at Edinburgh council. They’ve implemented a “tourist tax” by which anyone staying in paid overnight accommodation in Edinburgh from tomorrow will be subject to a five per cent levy for the first five nights of their stay. This woman being interviewed was genuinely surprised that hotels have all reported mass cancellations, and various events including the Scottish ballet have been cancelled. The pundits interviewing her didn’t actually ask “are you truly that stupid”? but it was quite clear that she was.

 

We got to the woods and had our walk. There were several cars in the car park, but we did our usual four (and a bit) miles and didn’t see anyone else at all as we walked. We didn’t see any deer, but we did see a toad. Each dog gave it a sniff, and then carried on, which was a result.

 

We came home where I made us both a cuppa. I had planned to brush the dogs’ teeth (I need to do that daily!) but they were all asleep after their walk. So I wrote up a little CPD. Last week I saw some Pappenheimer bodies. Back in the day whenever we saw something interesting down the microscope we’d keep the slide, and everyone had a case of microscope slides all of which faded with time. Some still do that, but now we are in the twenty-first century I take a photo and keep an on-line atlas of haematology. It’s nothing special, but hopefully it will impress the inspectors if and when I get inspected.

 

I stood up; the dogs all leapt up. With them awake I had a go at brushing their teeth. We need to practice that some more.

I had a little pootle in the garden, then sat by the pond and woke up an hour later in time for lunch. More toast which I scoffed whilst watching an episode of “Stranger Things” then sat by the pond again watching the antics of a pigeon sitting above the waterfall. He was there for a good five minutes and didn’t seem at all bothered by my watching him.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a rather good curry which we washed down with a bottle of plon whilst watching the first episode of the new season of “Star Trek: Strange New Worlds” which was rather good.

 

I’ve got work in the morning…

22 July 2026 (Wednesday) - Busy Day

Every morning as I scoff toast I have a little look at Facebook. Perhaps I shouldn’t; it winds me up. But it makes me realise just how stupid some (many) people are. One chap (a builder) was posting copies of a series of text messages in which a customer cancelled a huge contract because the contractor called him “Tom” and not “Thomas”. I was reminded of a rather arrogant eight year old cub scout who was once in my pack. His name was Charles and he told you so. I once called him Charlie and he certainly pointed out the error of my ways. Tom, Charlie… does it really matter? Cleary it does to Thomas and Charles.

And there was quite a lot of whinging about last weekend’s official Red Dwarf convention which (by all reports) had been something of a disaster. Thirty years ago sci-fi conventions were run by the fans for the fans. We used to have great fun going up to the University of London, meeting friends, dressing up, and watching the latest episodes of our favourite shows which had been sent over from America on video tapes, then going on to the themed pubs to drink Romulan ale (lager with blue food colouring). These days the conventions are run by commercial companies who want to make a profit, and the themed pubs have been closed down for breaching copyrights. Such a shame.

 

I got the leads onto the dogs and we went out. As we drove the pundits on the radio were talking about how one of the artificial intelligences unilaterally decided to mount an attack on a competitor. Perhaps the machines will take over the world? All the more reason to thank the Alexa every time it does something for me.

 

We got to the woods and walked a rather random walk for a change. As we came up the Pilgrim’s Way so I heard shouting and shrieking. Some people were approaching on bikes. I held Morgan and Bailey by their collars. I didn’t hold Treacle as she could be trusted not to run under the bikes’ wheels. And so Treacle ran under the bikes’ wheels. No one actually crashed or came off… I told the cyclists in a rather firm voice that the gravel on the path was very loose, that there were far better tracks to cycle on in the woods, and that the Pilgrims Way was a no cycling path. Two of those statements were true, but I always bear in mind the old adage that you can fool all of the people all of the time if you talk loudly and confidently. And I have been told that I can do a good impersonation of a scary tattooed skinhead thug. The cyclists hurried off.

We carried on with our walk. We saw a buzzard circling low. We saw deer. We didn’t see a swan for all that my Merlin bird app said we did. It’s interesting that now that the mating season is over, the birds in the woods are a lot quieter.

 

We came home listening to my Adrian Mole audiobook. Adrian’s father had made a spice rack. Once home I made us both a cuppa, Munzed, and Wordled from “dwarf” to “lorry” in four goes. I wrote up some CPD, then put the finishing touches to a little project I’ve been working on for the last week or so. It’s a little list of where we go for walks. I might extend it, I might forget all about it. Time will tell.

 

I went into the garden and trimmed back some of the overgrowth coming over the fence from not-so-nice-next-door. I tried speaking to nutty noodle when he used to live there (I wonder whatever happened to him). At that time the brambles from his bushes came a full five feet into my garden and he really couldn’t see my problem. Since then I’ve just tried to chop it all off at the fence line, but the stuff goes up quite a way. It’s a shame that she chooses to be so difficult. I’ve offered to prune it properly. I’ve offered to replace the fence. She either ignores me, or shrieks incomprehensibly then asks if I understand English (and she’s Japanese!).

I watered the plants, and generally pootled. All the time Treacle was watching me. Eventually to her delight I announced that I was going to “FEED THE FISH”, and she flew down the garden to the pond, squealing in excitement as she went.

I then gave myself a haircut (those hair trimmers have saved me a small fortune) and sat by the pond reading my Kindle for a bit until it was time for the dentist.

The doggy dentist.

 

Some time ago when having her annual check-up the vet said Treacle’s teeth weren’t as good as they might be. She recommended a scale and polish (under anaesthetic) and said it would be four hundred quid… and then anything they found whilst rooting about in her gob would be extra. I told the vet I’d think about it, and as we walked home I saw a van drive past with the logo “Doggy Dentals Ashford” so I gave them a ring.

They are excellent. Charging about a tenth of what the vet wanted, the nice lady gives the dogs’ teeth a good cleaning. Or that is she gives the girls’ teeth a good cleaning. She had a look at Morgan’s gob when she came to Dog Club for Dog Dental Week and said his gob is OK. Or it was then.

We got to the doggy dentist. Neiter of the girls really had a glowing report. Treacle’s teeth will probably see her out, but Bailey will probably need one or two pulling before much longer.

 

As we came home I saw something that made me sit up and take notice. A small dog which looked just like my Fudge running up the road. I took the girls home, then went up the road to see that dog that looked like Fudge. He was just running loose with no collar. I soon caught him and picked him up. He offered no resistance. I walked up and down the street banging on doors, haranguing passers-by, and shouting, but I couldn’t find anyone who recognised him.

In the end I took him to the emergency vet. They’ve now got him and say they will scan him for a chip and if they can’t contact the owner then the dog warden will have him in the morning. Apparently that’s the process and the law.

Part of me wishes I’d not taken him to the emergency vet.

Part of me realises that three dogs is already too many. A fourth? Seriously? 

21 July 2026 (Tuesday) - Late Shift

For all that I slept well, I woke exhausted following a night of nightmares. I woke in a cold sweat in the small hours following a rather vivid dream in which my late father had taken the house apart in order to repair a problem that simply wasn’t there. And then I found myself charged with going back in time to organise a geocaching mega-event fifteen years ago.

 

I made toast and peered into the Internet as I do and saw something which made me think. When I was a lad I was wrapped up in the Boys Brigade. Looking back that was a mistake. The Boys Brigade is a *very* religious organisation and it seriously messed with my head. One of the greatest regrets of my life is that I introduced a good friend to the Boys Brigade and he fell for the religion hook, line and sinker. He’s now a Baptist minister in the West country and regularly posts videos of his morning prayers on Facebook. He’s now off on “sabbatical” From what I can work out this entails three months of doing precious little but going off on holiday and sitting on your. bum saying prayers at someone else’s expense. And that someone else’s expense is tax-free – the Baptist Union is quite clear on the matter.

This got me thinking... and I did a little looking-up. A Baptist minister earns thirty thousand quid a year, gets a free house and a pension too. All for blathering a few platitudes.

Who’s the daft one, him or me…

I Munzed, and took the dogs out.

 

As we drove so the pundits on the radio were talking about how the new Prime Minister is sorting out the nation’s finances… or trying to. His attempts to sort the issues with the water companies by nationalising them seem to have fallen at he first hurdle. Those owed money by the water companies want their bit and are mounting a legal challenge to be sure they get it. And they probably will. I can remember a favourite author of mine who once wrote “"If a man stopped me in the street and demanded of me my watch I should fight him for it. If, on the other hand, he should assert his intention of trying to obtain it by means of an action in any court of law, I should take it out of my pocket and hand it to him, and think I had got off cheaply".

And there was talk of VAT on leccie bills being abolished. The expert opinion was that it might save the average household fifty quid a year which would be more than wiped out by the rise in leccie prices.

The new Prime Minister has got his work cut out…

 

We got to the woods. Being pressed for time we went to Orlestone today where the car park had only one other car in it. We walked anticlockwise today as the driver of that other car was fifty yards in front of us going clockwise and his dogs were barking at us. I don’t know where they went though; we didn’t meet them half-way round like you’d think we might.

We chased a few squirrels, but didn’t roll in anything. And the swamps had dried out too. After two miles we were back at the car after a rather uneventful walk. I like those.

 

We came home. I made us both a cuppa. I wrote up some CPD, Wordled my way from “dream” (which gave me nothing at all) to “shill” on the fourth attempt. I got “shill” as nothing else would fit. Apparently “shill” is the sort of person who gives positive reviews to companies and services with which they have a vested interest. As I’ve often said, a day when you learn nothing is a day wasted… I then wasted half an hour playing Meowdoku and then set off to the late shift.

 

As I headed off to work I saw a traffic warden on a pedal bike. Is that a new thing? Presumably so they can make a quick getaway having done the dirty. A friend of a friend once told me that they once worked as a traffic warden for a short time and were under orders to be sure that they issued enough parking tickets to cover their wages.

I drove up the ex-motorway (now dual carriageway) watching very few lorries coming down the "Operation Brock" bit. Again nothing was being held up in it. As I drove I had a strange phone call. Someone with a Scottish accent claiming to be called Tony called me saying that they were returning my call.  I'd not called him and I told him so, at which point he got rather aggressive and confrontational. I hung up. Being able to use the hands-free phone thingy in my car is something of a novelty, but I could do without nutters bothering me.

 

I went in to the Sainsbury's petrol station in Aylesford. As well as petrol I got lunch.  I made a point of telling the woman on the till that what I had was the meal deal as she never charges the reduced meal deal rate (always charging full whack). She took umbrage and refused to honour the nectar card deal voucher that she'd given me the last time I was there.

 

I went in to work and did my bit. Things weren't as bad as they might have been, but I was glad to see the night shift arrive. I drove home listening to more Adrian Mole. Pandora had returned from Tunisia which was (as we have all been told) "full of hazards".

 

The trouble with the late shift is that it finishes too late. By the time I got home it was gone ten o’clock…

20 July 2026 (Monday) - Pond Filters, Ironing

Every night I either lay awake all night or sleep for nine hours… Last night was a better one. Once I’d got into the right position so that the shoulder wasn’t playing up I was out like a log.

I got up at eight o’clock and made toast.

 

This morning (being up a bit later getting up) there was quite a bit of stuff on Facebook as I scoffed my toast. This weekend just gone had been Pirates Day in Hastings. I *always* find out about that after the event. Not that going there with the dogs would have been very practical.

Some idiot half-wit was banging on about how the vapour trails from aircraft are a relatively new thing and were some joint conspiracy of the loony left who were acting in cahoots with Satan, and no end of other idiot half-wits were joining in to agree with him. The argument would have made more sense if anyone could have explained exactly what was wrong with these vapour trails, or exactly what the loony left and Satan were planning.

And someone on a local page was complaining about something or other. The specifics are irrelevant, but everyone involved in the bickering was using an alias. No one was brave enough to put their name to what they were saying.

Back in the day the weekend just gone would have seen Canterbury’s beer festival. That used to be great fun… that seems to have stopped.

 

In between falling over dogs I hung the washing out. They wouldn’t stop bothering me this morning; they wanted their walk so we set off to find the car. Having had to park three streets away when I came home from work yesterday (as there were no spaces closer to home) there were three empty parking spaces right outside the house this morning.

As we drove to the woods so the pundits on the radio were interviewing Josh Kerr. In all the hysteria about world cup football his breaking the record for running a mile in the shortest time over the weekend has pretty much gone unnoticed.

 

We got to the woods. We had our walk. We walked about four miles (again my watch and my phone were half a mile apart in their estimates). Apart from growling at two groups of normal people the walk passed off without episode. No poo was rolled in, no swamps were wallowed in, no squirrels were chased.

 

We came home. I made us a cuppa. I Munzed, Wordled from “right” to “diver” in six goes. I wrote up some CPD including my three thousandth CPD (continuing professional development) blog entry. That blog is supposed to be a record of what I’ve learned in my professional capacity. Legally I’m supposed to keep up to date with developments in my field, and to keep a record that I’ve done so. An on-line blog works for me, and it has quite the following with over two hundred people having looked at it over the last three weeks. If only I knew who they were I might see if I can’t blag some of their CPD efforts.  

 

I ran out the hose and topped up the ponds, and whilst I was ponding I ran out the thick hose and cleaned out the pressure filter. Cleaning that is so simple compared with cleaning the old box filters I used to have.

And with filters cleaned and pond topped up so the dogs had a drink from the aerator-splashy-fish-ornament. The pigeons were drinking from it last week, “er indoors ^TM” told me that the seagulls were having a drink from it last weekend, and now the dogs are having a slurp.

I made some toast for lunch and with that scoffed I set about the ironing that was in the ironing box. That took an hour or so, and then I sat by the pond and read my Kindle, played Meowdoku and had a little doze.

 

Bearing in mind that “er indoors ^TM” was going bowling later I emptied the washing basket into the washing machine. I thought I might iron the shirts and sort the undercrackers whilst she was out.

And once she’d boiled up dinner and gone bowling that’s what I did.

At the moment the laundry is non-existent. Both the washing and ironing baskets are empty. Go me.

Mind you, it won’t stay that way…

19 July 2026 (Sunday) - Early Shift

I woke at four o'clock. The pain in my shoulder had returned with a vengeance. I couldn't get comfortable so I got up, made toast and watched an episode of "Stranger Things", then had a little look at the Internet. It was still there, and there wasn't much of note on there early on a Sunday morning. 

I tried not to disturb anyone as I got dressed, but as I did so “er indoors ^TM” had an attack of cramp and made enough noise to wake the dead. It you are wondering what woke you at quarter to six this morning, that was her.

 

I set off west-wards to work. I tried listening to the radio but the news was depressing. That idiot Donald Trump is pursuing his war in the Middle East for no other reason than that because he can (from what I can see).

And there was talk of the new Prime Minister looking to start drilling for oil in the North Sea (again). What with the state of the Middle East he'd be daft not to.

This was followed by what I can only describe as utter tripe, so I turned off the radio and listened to my Adriam Mole audiobooks. They were far clearer that the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy MP3s I've been listening to. I'll see if I can get better versions of those.

As I drove I was held up by two sets of traffic lights. No road works, just traffic lights. You'd think that whoever was responsible for traffic lights would take them down when there is quite obviously no need for them. I was also held up by a swarm of cyclists on the A262. You'd think they'd take the more scenic lanes, wouldn't you? I certainly used to back in the day when I had a bike.

 

I got to work and had a little chat with the girl who was finishing the night shift. She used to work where I used to work, and listening to her reminiscing made me remember just how unhappy I'd been working in that place for so long. It took me years to realise that a workplace didn't have to be hell on Earth, and that I didn't have to feel physically sick at the thought of going to work.

 

I did what I couldn't avoid and it wasn’t really that long until I was on my way home. But by the time I’d got home and had a little sleep (the very early start had caught up with me) it was too late to do very much.

I played Meowdoku whilst “er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good bit of stir-fry which we scoffed whilst watching the final of “The Traitors USA” which turned out to be something of a triumph of deception over decency. Much like life in general really… We followed this with a show in which all the contestants came back together and talked about how the show had gone. The reunion would have been a lot better had it featured the chap who’d hosted the show rather than wheeling on someone new. I couldn’t really concentrate on the reunion show itself… I’m not sure what was the most distracting; the host being cross eyed, the obvious over-acting, the ridiculous hats or the rampant brazen chest-brandishing of the lady contestants.

 

My shoulder still hurts.

18 July 2026 (Saturday) - Dog Club, Games Night

I slept reasonably well. Somehow I’ve managed to pull a muscle in my shoulder and if I don’t get into just the right position it plays up. I managed to get comfortable and slept far better than I did yesterday.

 

I made toast and had a look at the Internet. Some Reform UK councillor was posting videos on Facebook supposedly shaming non-Reform UK councillors who weren’t singing the National Anthem at the most recent council meeting. Sadly all he did was expose what a pathetic attempt the councillors had made at singing the National Anthem. For some reason my Facebook feed often presents me with posts from Reform UK councillors. All but one of them post nothing but personal attacks on their political opponents. The one that doesn’t is my local councillor who does seem to actually do stuff, but he’s now packed up with Reform UK and joined the breakaway Restore UK. But the masses lap it up… You wouldn’t believe the posts of support this lot get for doing nothing other than smearing their opponents.

I Munzed, and Wordled from “slept” through “track”, “dotty”, “month” and “tooth” to get it with “booth” on the last attempt.

Steve was on the radio doing the “Guess the Lyrics” competition.  “I like Angela, Pamela, Sandra and Rita”. That one was easy. “Mambo Number Five” by Lou Bega.

 

We went round to Dog Club. We had a good turn-out with over sixteen dogs along. It was difficult to count as they all kept moving about but there were at least sixteen dogs. Morgan was in something of a “frisky” mood. I wish he would be a tad more moral.

 

“er indoors ^TM” went off to craft club. I took the dogs to Tenterden. As we drove Steve was doing the Mystery Year competition on the radio. When was the two-pound coin released? 1998. I drove all the way to Tenterden listening to the radio. The signal did far better on the way to Tenterden than it did going less than half the distance to Charing last week.

We got to the steam railway where there was a little geo-meet taking place. It was good to catch up with friends. We chatted for a bit, but the dogs eventually got bored and fractious.

We came home.

 

I made myself a cuppa and sparked up my old lap-top (the one with the CD Rom drive). Once it had booted up (about fifteen minutes) I carried on converting my new Adrian Mole audiobooks to MP3 format. Converting ten CDs took two hours. As I did that I watched the first two episodes of “Stranger Things”. There’s been a new series released (a few months ago) and having forgotten pretty much everything about the show I thought I’d be better off starting again. It was rather good.

 

“er indoors ^TM” came home from craft club with raspberries and Belgian buns. Once we’d done “FEED THE FISH” I watered the plants, and then had a little look at the audiobooks… It looks to me as though the CDs has the first, second and fourth book… but not the third. I expect I shall find out.

 

Steve, Sarah and Chris came round, and we had a rather good evening on the Infinity table. “Game of Life”, “Sorry”, “Ticket to Ride”… 

I do like our games nights…