16 July 2026 (Thursday) - Something Scary In The Woods

I slept for nearly eight hours last night, but woke feeling like death warmed up. I made toast and peered into the internet. It would seem that “we” lost last night. That is the England football team lost. Personally I’m not fussed, but I’m rather concerned for my many friends, colleagues and acquaintances who are clearly not of a white Caucasian appearance. Many of such friends have told me that whenever the England football team loses an important match then they don’t feel safe for up to a week. Many have been verbally harassed in the street, and some even attacked purely because the England football team lost and the thicker element wanted someone on whom to take out their frustrations.

There wasn’t much else happening on the internet this morning. I Munzed, Wordled from “slept” (via “trace”, “white” and “quote”) to end up with “butte” as it was the only thing that worked when randomly trying the letters I had left. Apparently a butte is an isolated, steep-sided hill with a small, flat top. Formed by severe erosion of a mesa (a larger table-like landform), it is common in the American West. One lives and learns.

Wordle seems good for rather stupid words at the moment.

 

I went upstairs to wake “er indoors ^TM” and the dogs, and once they’d had their brekkie we went up to the woods. As we walked we met one other person – a young lady who looked to be heavily pregnant – several months overdue by the look of her. Call me old-fashioned if you will, but is wandering round the woods on your own at that stage of the pregnancy a sensible thing to do?

 

We had a minor episode as we walked. At about the three-mile point Morgan stopped walking and started growling. As I caught up with him so he went forward oh-so-slowly, staying about six feet from me with his ears back, and grumbling as he went. This carried on for about a hundred yards after which time he seemed to venture away from my side a little more, and after another hundred yards he was back to his old self. The other two didn’t seem at all fazed, and I couldn’t see any reason for him to be scared and defensive.

I wonder what that was all about..

 

We drove home listening to more Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Once home I made us a cuppa and used Microsoft Copilot to “enhance” the photos I’d taken when out on our walk earlier.

I had a pootle in the garden. I swept up the bird seed. A few months ago that seemed to be attracting rats. I’ve not seen any for a while… I cleared dog dung. I pulled weeds from the flower pots. I thought about trimming back the hedge from not-so-nice-next-door, but it was getting a tad too hot so I sat by the pond and alternately read my Kindle and had a doze.

 

I came in and spent a couple of hours watching telly. “Unchosen” was rather good… it was only as I got to the end that I realised that the boss religious crackpot was Christopher Eccleston (of Doctor Who fame). As I watched telly so Treacle was watching me. When telly was done I got up and she ran down the garden, then came back and looked at me clearly waiting for me to say the magic words. Which I did, to her delight. She ran back down the garden squealing in excitement. We did “FEED THE FISH” then I watered the plants, and then sat by the pond for a bit reading more Kindle.

I wrote up some CPD, I ordered another e-book for my Kindle. The e-book cost ninety-nine pence. Is that cheap? Bearing in mind when I was a lad I would regularly buy paperback books out of my pocket money I thought that ninety-nine pence was (relatively) what I used to spend on a book back in the day.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching more of “The Traitors US” and whilst guzzling a bottle of plonk. And some amaretto too…

Hic !

15 July 2026 (Wednesday) - Stuff

I woke at half past two to the sound of distant barking. It sounded like Treacle. I got up to see Bailey standing on the edge of the bed looking worried. We hurried downstairs… to be followed by Treacle. I let the dogs out, but whoever had been barking had shut up.

We went back to bed where I slept through till half past seven when I woke with a headache.

 

I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet. There was an interesting post on one of the Munzee pages I follow… well not so much interesting as incomprehensible. So many people just type what they have to say and press the send button without re-reading what they’ve typed. If they did, they would see that they are writing gibberish. It would only take two seconds to check what they’ve written. Spell checkers are free.

There was a squabble on one of the local Facebook pages where someone had listed all the visitors she’d had to her house in the last month. A neighbour had been to social services with concerns that she’d had a *lot* of visitors recently and she wanted to be open about who had come to her house. It should be laughable, but some people really have nothing better to do with their time. It’s the sort of thing our nutty neighbour would have done. I wonder whatever happened to him?

And I saw a friend had been over from Australia on a flying visit. Had I known he was going to be within an hour’s drive…

 

I took the dogs up to the woods. As we drove the pundits on the radio were dribbling on about… I have no idea what they were dribbling on about. Many years ago I realised just how out of touch I was with current affairs so I make a point of listening to the morning and evening news programs when driving. Sometimes there’s interesting stuff. Sometimes it boils my piss. But usually (like this morning) it is utter tripe that is forgotten by the time I’ve parked my car.

 

We got to the woods and set off on our walk. I tried to photograph the dogs but my phone had frozen up. I eventually forced it to re-start, and as we walked (apart from two people at the car park) we walked for an hour and a half and only saw one other person.

We found a pond though. Treacle had a paddle and a swim, but Morgan and Bailey wouldn’t even go close.

We saw two herds of deer, but they were gone before I got the camera out.

As we came home I listened to more of the Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Did you know that John Le Mesurier played the part of the Wise Old Bird? I remember him doing that on the radio all those years ago.

 

Once home I gathered a bumper crop of dog turds from the garden (before Bailey could go eat it), then washed my hands and made us a cuppa. I Munzed, and Wordled. Starting with “sound” I worked my way through “flask” and “aspic” to “pshaw” which (apparently) is a seventeenth century word used to express strong disapproval, contempt, impatience, or disbelief. One lives and learns.

I spent a couple of hours marking trainee’s work. Some of them have recently passed their exam, which was something of a result.

I screwed on the wishing well’s roof. I’d just sat it on previously and the wind had taken it off.

I watched a couple more episode of “Unchosen” in which the righteous turned out to be iniquitous sinners (they usually are).

And then, seeing that Treacle was watching me like a pork (to coin a phrase) I loudly announced that it was time to “FEED THE FISH”. The ceremony of feeding the pond fish really is the highlight of her day. She watches me intently from mid-day onwards, and when I make the announcement that “I’M GOING TO FEED THE FISH” she charges to the pond quite literally squealing with excitement. All that happens is she gets a handful of the dried rice-cereal stuff that the fish have, but to her it really is heaven on earth.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up bangers and mash which we scoffed whilst watching a couple of episodes of “The Traitors USA”. A particularly vindictive character got the heave-ho. There’s something about the American version which is much more personal and rather nastier than the UK version.

 

And the England football team is playing in the semi-final of the world cup this evening. They are playing against the Argentinian team, and I’ve lost count of the amount of memes I’ve seen which hark back to a war which finished over forty years ago…

14 July 2026 (Tuesday) - Late Shift

I had a fairly decent night’s sleep, eventually getting up at seven o’clock. I made toast (as I do) and peered into the internet (as I do). It was still there.

This morning’s squabble was that old chestnut about how do you fill up your garden ponds? There are many who would rather use sulphuric acid than tap water as tap water is supposedly full of chemicals. These people advocate either saving rain water (that comes off of your roof and down the gutters collecting muck as it goes), or using tap water but also adding no end of chemicals to counteract those that they claim are in the tap water. It’s an argument that’s been running for years. Personally I use the water from the tap – it can’t be that bad as I’ve been drinking it for years.

Pond keepers wind me up. So many of them fart around gathering rain water, measuring the levels of no end of chemicals (that they don’t understand) and adding this treatment and that treatment to get the levels of the various chemicals just right… and then once a month they chuck out a quarter of the water and start all over again.

And there was a video on Facebook from one of the head honchos at Kent County Council saying how vital and necessary it was to bring back “Operation Brock”. The video was odd. The chap speaking banged on about how we need “Operation Brock” at peak times, and also said that the numbers of lorries using the channel crossing remain constant all year long. Why not queue up the cars full of tourists that *are* seasonal?

It struck me as rather odd that his lot all stood for election promising to get rid of it, and now they are singing its praises.

 

I Munzed, Wordled from “brock” to “steak” in five goes, then took the dogs out. As we drove the pundits on the radio were interviewing Robert Jenrick. He winds me up. He appears all over the media finding all sorts of fault with things about which he did absolutely sod all when he was actually in government himself. At one point the interviewer had to remind him that he’d been brought on to the radio to be interviewed and not to make a speech.

 

We went to Orlestone today, and walked half of what we did yesterday, but chased rabbits, and those of us that didn’t roll in fox poo went into a rather muddy swamp.

We came home for a bath, and to report the old mattress than had been fly-tipped in the car park. That mattress annoyed me for two reasons. Firstly someone had clearly made as much effort to drive the thing to the woods as it would have taken to drive to the tip. And secondly because no one else had reported it. I mentioned the thing to another dog walker who told me it had been there several days.

 

We came home where dogs got bathed. Having squealed with the fly-tipped mattress I wrote up some CPD, and carried on with a little project I’ve been doing for a few days. I’m compiling a little list of places where we’ve had (relatively) successful dog walks.

I then had a look on-line for cheap beer. Amazon have stopped knocking it out at a quid a bottle, which is a pain in the glass. I had a quick go at Meowduku, and set off to work.

 

I drove up what once was (and will be again) the motorway listening to The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Marvin the Paranoid Android outwitted a Frogstar Class D Scout Robot, and Zaphod Beeblebrox was fed into the Total Perspective Vortex. For all that the books and the TV shows and the film were good, HHG was always a radio show.

 

As I drove I saw that (as promised) "Operation Brock" was still on. As usual, nothing was being held on the motorway (it rarely is), and there were ten cars in the Brock bit that clearly hadn't read the instructions before driving into the Brock bit.

I set the cruise control at fifty miles per hour (as that is now the speed limit there), and lost count of the amount of foreign lorries that tail-ended me. Loads of them drove about six feet from my rear end before eventually overtaking at what I can only describe as "far too fast". A policeman with whom I used to go to the Open University once told me that the police never attempted to do anything about the crap driving of foreign lorry drivers as they always pretended not to be able to speak English and it was "all too much arse ache". That was thirty years ago - it would seem nothing has changed in the meantime.

 

I went in to Sainsburys to get lunch. As well as a sandwich I got a caramel and apple dipper. It looked nice. Work was work, but the caramel and apple dipper was something of a disappointment. It tasted rather cheap. I won't be getting that again. 

I did my bit, and was rather glad to see the night shift arrive.

 

It was still light as I left work. That won't last for much longer. I drove home listening to more of The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and in a novel break with tradition got to park right outside the house.

That will make for an easier trip to the woods in the morning. I can never remember where I park the car. 

 

I’ve moaned a lot today, haven’t I?

13 July 2026 (Monday) - Rather Busy

I slept through till five o’clock this morning which was something of a result. I then made the schoolboy error of going to the loo only to come back to find dogs in what had been my warm space. I eventually folded myself around then and dozed on and off for another hour or so.

 

I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet as I do. It was rather quiet this morning. No one was picking fights over trivia, no one was demanding that their imaginary god could have another person’s imaginary god in a fight. No one was having a birthday…

I had some emails. People had been looking for my geocaches in Kings Wood and elsewhere yesterday. Those who’ve not been playing the game for that long were rather effusive in their written logs. Those who are amongst the country’s top finders weren’t quite so. I’d like to think they didn’t mean to be quite as rude as they appeared to be in what they’d written.

I thought about sending then a snarky message, but thought better of doing so.

 

I took the dogs up to the woods. As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about the Falklands war of 1982. Apparently the next game that the England football team will play in the ongoing World Cup is against the Argentinian team, and a whole load of bad feeling has been stirred up.

We got to the woods and had a good walk. We didn’t see any normal people, we didn’t go in any swamps.

We replaced two geocaches that had been reported as being missing (as they were). We took a different route to our usual one. Being a warmer day I deliberately took the dogs on a shorter route… it was only about a quarter of a mile shorter according to my mapping app. I would have said a whole mile shorter – shows what I know.

 

I came home and harvested an epic crop of dog dung, cleaned out the fish pond filter, voomed round with the bionic burner, then had a little look at some of my Wherigos. A Wherigo is a special sort of geocache in which you play a little game on your phone (which I write) before being told where to find the actual geocache. Sadly a lot of people use cheat software to rip into the coding of what I’ve written to get the location without playing the game. So I’ve started writing Wherigos containing pictures giving fake locations. These pictures never appear when playing the actual game properly, but do appear when you use the cheat software.

I’ve had several people messaging me saying that they can’t find my Wherigos, and when I ask what co-ordinates they’ve got they give me the fake co-ordinates that I’ve set to catch them out. And then they try to pretend they haven’t been cheating…

 

I Munzed, Wordled from “cheat” to “stout” in four goes, and then sat by the pond reading “The Kraken Wakes”. Or I tried to. I found myself rather engrossed in the antics of the pigeons. Having spent a load of time, effort and money setting up a splash-aerator-ornamental-fish thingy it would seem that the pigeons are using it as a water fountain so that they can get a drink. I’m not complaining though; they do far less damage when they stand and drink from that than when they try to stand on the floating baskets and capsize the lot. Which they also tried to do this afternoon.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up pizza and chips and then went bowling. I cracked on with the ironing whilst watching something on Netflix. “Unchosen” is about a young woman struggling with being a part of a crackpot religious sect.

Being very wrapped up in crackpot religion when younger, that could so easily have been me.

12 July 2026 (Sunday) - Early Shift

I woke seriously early this morning. Rather than laying awake I made toast and watched the last episode of "Earth Abides".  I watched five episodes last night and watched the last one this morning. Having seen that a TV adaptation had been made of one of my favourite books I had been intrigued to see what had been done... To be honest it wasn't bad. Compared to the absolute balls-ups that have been made of televising some books (The Foundation series immediately springs to mind) it could have been a whole lot worse. The writers had taken a few liberties with the plot, and had left out quite a few of the most important parts of the book. And (like with the Harry Potter films) if you hadn't read the book you'd be wondering about a few scenes which were otherwise inexplicable.  But all things considered, a lot better than I thought it might have been.

If you've not seen it, give it a go. It's free to watch on You-Tube.

 

I Wordled, and set off to work, listening to my newly acquired Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy MP3s. They were a bit fizzy in parts, but looking back to the late seventies, the original broadcasts were also bit fizzy in parts.

As I drove the roads were quiet, as well they should be early on a Sunday morning, but there was quite a bit of traffic in Sissinghurst. I couldn't work out why until I saw the signs. A boot fair. I was amazed at just how many people were already going round the boot fair at half past six. Boot fairs are truly a sign of our times, aren't they? Back in the day people gave their rubbish to the Boys Brigade and the Scouts who would hold a jumble sale to raise funds. These days people just have a stall at a boot fair and pocket the profits themselves.

Mind you back in the day when I used to be involved with the Boys Brigade and the Scouts it was clear that jumble sales had had their day. What with the poncey stalls that they attract  it's rather fashionable to go to the boot fairs. There's a certain air of almost snobbery showing off the trinket you snapped up when you found it at a boot fair. But who has ever boasted about going to a jumble sale, let alone admitted to actually buying something from one? 

 

I got to work and did my bit. In between doing my bit I read my Kindle. I've started re-reading "The Kraken Wakes" by John Wyndham. I've always said this was an old favourite of mine... but I'd forgotten the writing style. Ridiculously upper-class and pretentious.  I still like it though.

When the late shift arrived at mid-day I slipped off for a spot of lunch. Last night “er indoors ^TM” had brought home a job lot of sarnies from the family bash I'd missed last night. As I scoffed them I thought that it would have been good to have got along. Not only could I have caught up with friends and family I've not seen for ages, but I could also have met up with one of my most loyal readers too (waves 😊 ).

But Treacle goes mental and screams and shouts if left unsupervised for more than a few minutes, and I'd rather not upset the neighbours any more than I need to. Treacle don't care though.

 

Being on an early shift was something of a result (I like the early shifts). I again listened to the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy as I drove home.  Having left the crew of the Starship "Heart of Gold" facing certain death when I'd arrived at work, I drove home listening to their antics at the restaurant at the end of the universe. Did you know there's a restaurant at the end of the universe? It turns out that there's no judgement day waiting for us, just a rather posh restaurant. And if you stick one penny in a bank account today, by the time the end of the universe comes, compound interest will have paid for your meal. 

If you live that long...

Alternatively you could spend your time with a load of hairdressers and accountants on the “B” Ark.

 

As I drove home I felt myself wilting. I got home and once I’d watered he plants and done “FEED THE FISH” I had a little shut-eye in the garden. Again having been wide awake during the night when I should have been sparko I found myself struggling to stay awake during the afternoon (And it wasn’t as though I’d been on the sauce like yesterday)

 

We had a rather good bit of dinner, and I was falling asleep over that too. I really should have an early night…

11 July 2026 (Saturday) - Dog Club, Dinner, Telly

Something odd was going on with not-so-nice-next-door this morning. Her back door was wide open. Her back door is never open for more than a second. She always has it locked, and it is open just long enough for her to jump through when she then locks it again. I wonder what was going on there this morning?

 

I made toast and looked at Facebook. It would seem that Anne Widdecombe (who I mentioned yesterday) was murdered. Whilst I realise that it is bad form to speak ill of the dead, it always amazed me that someone who was an active church-goer could have so strongly supported the policies that she did. Mind you our local Restore UK councillor is much the same. He goes to church, does such good work with the local homeless… and look at what his party advocates.

A new puzzle geocache went live. It didn’t take me long to solve it… or (to be precise) find its location. However when you get there, you’ve got a field puzzle involving a nine-volt battery. That sort of thing is all good fun, but it don’t last long before someone breaks it.

 

I Munzed, Wordled from “locks” to “avian” in four goes, then strained my brain as Steve announced the “Guess the Lyrics” competition. “Oh so let her go don’t’ start spoiling the show”. I got it right away – “Livin’ Thing” by ELO.

I sat and listened for my mention on air, and having heard the world being told that I was the first one to get it we got ready for the morning.

 

We took the dogs round to Repton and Dog Club. We had over twenty dogs along and had a great time. Mostly. Morgan has got issues with one of the newer dogs, but every time he got a little feisty I shouted at him and he came back.

From Dog Club we drove off to Charing. We tried to do Steve’s Mystery Year competition on the radio, but as we set off so the news was starting, and by the time the news and the adverts had finished we were half way up Charing hill and the signal had all but given up.

 

We got to the car park of the Wagon and Horses where we met Karl and Tracey. We went for a little walk round Longbeech North. We walked the same woods last weekend; it was rather cooler this weekend.

And with walk walked we came back to the cars and then on to the Wagon and Horses where we had a rather good bit of dinner and a little drinkie too. Though not quite as much of a little drinkie as we had last weekend.

 

We came home. I watered the garden and counted up the Dog Club money. Bearing in mind we charge one pound fifty per dog per week, how could I possibly have ended up with an odd thirty-five pence?

We did “FEED THE FISH”, I watered the plants. “er indoors ^TM” went off to a family meal in Rye. I stayed on dog duty. Having downloaded some old favourite books and MP3s I discovered “Earth Abides” had been made into a TV show. Rather than paying good money for the MGM app I had a look on You-Tube. So far the show is rather good.

 

I’ve just had a little break to do dog dinner. Morgan has refused everything. Treacle has eaten hers and Bailey’s leftovers, and having had a couple of mouthfuls Bailey has just gone into the garden where she ate the turd that Treacle had just dropped…

I’m going to watch more “Earth Abides”…

10 July 2026 (Friday) - Early Shift

I woke at four o’clock which with an alarm set was something of a result. I got up and spent an age trying to find something to watch on Netflix. I eventually settled on something called “Master of None” which was rather rubbish really.

I then had a little look t the internet which was rather quiet at half past five this morning. A friend was posting from his second Sicilian flat… He’s just bought another flat in Sicily. Holiday homes are all very well, but personally I’m not keen on the travelling to and fro. I sent out a birthday wish, and with not a lot else happening I got ready for work.

 

As I drove to work the pundits on the radio were talking about the Bayeux tapestry which arrived at the British Museum in the small hours and will be in the UK for a year.

For years I thought the Bayeux tapestry and the Hastings Embroidery were the same thing mainly because our teachers at Red Lake Primary School told is that they were. Not that anyone who lives outside of Hastings would ever have heard of either before today. I can remember our teachers at school making such an issue about it/them.

And there was talk about Anne Widdecombe who died overnight. Everyone seems to think she was a wonderful old duck following her appearance on Strictly Come Dancing; no one seems to remember what she stood for. Her voting record in parliament showed she was against gay rights, consistently voted against allowing terminally ill people to be given assistance to end their life, always voted against measures to prevent climate change, and thought the unelected House of Lords was a good thing.

 

I stopped off at the petrol station in Pembury where the stuff was five pence per litre cheaper than it was at home. I saved myself over two quid... which I then blew in Tesco not realising that the berries snack pot was classed as a main meal and not a snack, and consequently wasn't included in the meal deal.

As I queued to find this out, so some idiot woman was holding up the queue by gossiping at anyone who came within shouting distance.

 

Work was work. We had the inspectors in. Perhaps I'm getting old, but the inspector who sat with me this morning looked as though he was about twelve years old. Back in the day the bulk of laboratory inspections were carried out by recently retired lab staff.  

 

Being on an early, home time came early (it does that). I drove home listening to the Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy MP3s I downloaded. They were a tad fizzy in places, but something for nothing is always good. I can (vaguely) remember tuning in to them when they were on the radio nearly fifty years ago. I can also remember other things on the radio from back then. The Grumbleweeds (although incredibly dire on the telly) were rather funny on the radio, and Roy Castle used to have a very amusing radio show too. I wonder if I can get copies of those?

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a rather good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching more episodes of “The Traitors USA”. It was entertaining enough…