7 October 2009 (Wednesday) - Copper

“My Boy ^TM ” is on lates this week, so I was hoping not to be woken too early today. He came home “quietly” at 3am this morning. I don’t know why I mention this – I’m sure my loyal readers in America and Canada heard him. I eventually got back to sleep only to be woken by the world’s worst backache at 6am. Some nights I am destined not to sleep.

Being on a late start myself, I had some time to spare his morning, so I prepared a crossword to send in to the chokey. “A wind breakage that sounds like one is about to be run over by Laurel and Hardy (5,1,4)” Any ideas?

And then to Tesco – the elastic had gone in my pants, so new undercrackers were the order of the day. Tesco’s didn’t do XL pants, so I went round to Matalan. Eventually I scared up some pants, and I got some other kit whilst I was at it. Including a new belt, as the old one is rather worn. But I had to hunt to find stuff in my size. Even allowing for the shrinkage of my girth due to the recent excesses of salad lunches, no one really seems to cater for the more rotund gentleman. Most trousers seem to stop at waist size 38. Surely I’m not the only porker who wears trousers?

And then I was nearly late into work. There was a fascinating article on the radio about the resurgence in the scrap metal market. Whilst they took great pains to explain how illegal it is to destroy money, the program claimed that the copper in a 2p coin is actually worth 3p. So were you able to take your 2p coins to the scrap yard, you’d get £1.50 for every quid you took there. Apparently the police have been investigating scrap metal merchants who’ve been doing this. I’m left wondering about how one can melt down copper….

6 October 2009 (Tuesday) - Stuff

Last night I got my new clothes horse out and put it through its paces. To be honest, I was expecting a lot more sarcasm about the thing than I have had (so far). It might look rather lame, but seeing as it’s not possible to actually get to the radiators to dry clothes over the winter, needs must.

To Tesco for more green tea. This time I’m trying “lemon & lime with a hint of orange”. It’s rather grim, but better than the apple flavoured muck I had last week. And it sorts out the oxidants too. Not that I’m aware of ever having had problems with an oxidant. I’m also told it’s good for my knee which, for all this diet lark, still creaks like a rusty hinge.

An early start at work,meant for an early finish, and round to see Andy and Heather. A bit of a chat, and we discussed the mystery of the disappearing spoons. Mentioning no names, it seems odd that now his mother’s no longer with us, certain people seem very knowledgeable about spoons. And then we settled down to Michael McIntyre. I’d not heard of him before – he was really funny. Must look out for him again…

5 October 2009 (Monday) - To Maidstone

Monday and back to work via Tesco’s for some “lunch”. Perhaps I’ve turned to the dark side, but I’m getting quite used to salad for “lunch”. It’s now three weeks since I’ve had dinner. And I was more than slightly miffed – whilst I was off someone threw away my water bottle. Rather than buying a bottle of pop every day, I’d taken to filling a pop bottle with tap water and sticking it in the fridge. Some git has thrown away my bottle. Still, nil desperandum. In the brave new world, I’ll be able to get mineral water at 20p a bottle. And that 20p will be going straight to charidee. It’s a brainwave of Thames Water to supply cheap water to the masses, and will probably be the kiss of death to the pretentious bottled water market.

A phone call – could I collect “Daddies Little Angel ^TM ” from Maidstone East station. Apparently she made a point of going to the far end of the platform far away from the normal people to have a phone conversation, but still some jobsworth Hitler took exception to her “colourful metaphors”. After they’d had a forthright discussion on the matter, I drove to Maidstone to collect her and drive her home. Which was easier said than done.

I hate driving round Maidstone. The centre area is divided in two by the street that’s got McDonalds in it. I was on one side, trying to get across that road. Impossible!! All the roads approach McD’s, then do an abrupt about-turn. Eventually I got to the county offices, which isn’t far from the station, and I phoned her and told her to walk up to find me. She arrived five minutes later in a friend’s car. So why had I driven to Maidstone…?

4 October 2009 (Sunday) - Wedding Anniversary

Being a Sunday morning I was awake early, waiting for the vicar to start ringing his bells. I didn’t hear them today, but since I was awake, I thought I’d spend some time in NeverWinter until ‘er indoors ^TM woke up. I was going to do her brekkie in bed, but the crumbs get everywhere. Today is our wedding anniversary. Twenty three years. According to the Internet twenty three is “silverplate”. Whatever that is.

We were taken out for dinner today. Having made something of a study of local eating establishments over the last year or so, choosing where to go was tricky. Since we were being driven, I thought we’d go for somewhere outside cycling range, which narrowed the choice down slightly. I wouldn’t mind trying the food at Blake’s in Dover. Chambers bar in Folkestone is always good. I wouldn’t mind a carvery at the FILO. But in the end we decided on the Ewe and Lamb in Rolvenden Layne. The roast dinner was good, as was the beer selection.

Afterwards we had a mooch around “World of Water” and Tenterden garden centre looking for paving circles (among other things). But no luck - they didn’t have any. So we came home again. I shall get one from Bybrook Barn over the next week or so, Mind you, what with one thing and another, it’s going to be a while until I have some spare time to lay the thing….

3 October 2009 (Saturday) - To Warehorne

Once I’d cleared a load of demons out of NeverWinter we got on our bikes and set off to Warehorne. (Despite Matt’s sexy cycling trousers). Singleton hill was a tad steep, and the wind made today’s trip one of the hardest we’ve done in a while. But after an hour we arrived at the World’s Wonder to find they weren’t able to do dinner because of a Golden Wedding party. Bearing in mind the same thing had happened a few weeks ago, Matt had suggested in the week that I might phone in advance. Perhaps next time I plan a cycle ride, I might just do that. Still, we quaffed a pint of “WonderBrew” and decided to try our luck up the road at the Woolpack. We were lucky – they could feed us. So whilst perusing the menu we had a pint of “Woolpack Ale” and we settled an old argument.

I was proved wrong. “WonderBrew” is brewed specially for the World’s Wonder by Goachers. Several pubs have their own ale brewed for them by Goachers, and for years I have maintained that it’s all the same stuff with a different label. “Woolpack Ale” and “WonderBrew” are both pub-specific Goacher’s brews, and having just had a pint of “WonderBrew” down the road I was able to make a comparison with the “Woolpack Ale”. They were both very good, but very different. And I’d thought it was all the same stuff. One lives and learns.

A particularly good steak sarnie was scoffed, and we waved off those who’d driven with a sense of envy. The wind which had been in our faces all the way to Warehorne had changed direction entirely, and was in our faces all the way back home. So much so that we felt it necessary to stop off in Shadoxhurst for a crafty pint. And it was there that I realised that autumn has finally arrived. Some people judge where they are in the year by which flowers are in bloom. Others use the stars in the sky as their calendar. A lot of good friends of mine tell by which of the annual kite festivals are taking place. Me – the Kings Head was serving “Late Red” on the hand pump, which means that it is autumn. There are those that look to “Light Up The Sky” in the kite calendar, or to the arrival of the constellation of Orion. Me – I’ve realised it’s only a couple of months until I can get a pint of the Porter.

And then home where I sat in front of the telly and slept through three hours of SpongeBob SquarePants before having another look in NeverWinter. Those demons have come back, you know…

2 October 2009 (Friday) - A Day Off Work

Another day off work, and this time I was up and out of the house by 8.30am for a quick shopping trip. I have this plan to have a paved circle in the front garden. B&Q didn’t have anything. The Builder’s Centre had a large one on display, but the staff weren’t overly helpful. When I asked questions I was rather rudely given a catalogue and told to look up “Indian Sandstone”. When I commented that they didn’t have one in the size I wanted, they told me that the things only come in one size. Which turned out not to be the case. Wyevale had no paving circles, and precious little of anything else. There was so little stuff there that the place looked as though it was having a closing down sale. Bybrook Barn had exactly what I wanted. (They also had all their Xmas stuff on display but that is a rant for another time).

Now I just need to talk the family into wanting a paving circle in the front garden, and into helping me lay the thing. I suppose I could just put the slabs on the front garden, but I would imagine they would be far better cemented in place.

In years gone by I wouldn’t have bothered with a shopping trip. I would have bought the paving circle from eBay. eBay has the same one that Bybrook Barn has for sale, but over a hundred pounds more expensive. In the week I saw the complete Battlestar Galactica DVD set in Asda. Today I saw the same thing on eBay for twenty quid more. eBay isn’t the bargain it once was.

And then home to mow the lawn – something I’ve not done for a couple of weeks. The fences in the back garden look as though they could do with a lick of fence spray. I must admit to a wry smile. The fence panels are rather bare in patches. I painted them only six months ago. And they had a coat of paint a year before that. The paint tin claims it’s good for five years between applications. Perhaps I could kick up a fuss with the manufacturer. I would if I felt it might achieve anything. And then I realised the composting bin was getting full, so I took it (and some rubbish) to the tip. Bearing in mind the fun and games I’ve had with retards at the tip before, today’s visit was relatively painless.

“Rat Man” visited this afternoon. He had a look up and down the garden and saw that the poison I’d put down two weeks ago still hadn’t been touched. He said that the poison being put down next door had been taken, and that if we did have any rats about the place, they’d be getting their poison there. I told him that I didn’t doubt there were rats; it was just that I hadn’t actually seen any. He had a look at my ultra-sonics and at Dave the plastic owl, and said he didn’t think he needed to do anything more rat-wise in the garden. He also said that the pond was fine, and that it wasn’t a rat attractor, which was a weight off my mind.

And then I took the car to be valeted. The thing was rather filled up with dead grass from the summer’s camping trips, and I’ve not got round to getting it cleaned out. I went to a place in Ellingham that advertised “Best hand job in town”. I’ve had better, but they are streets ahead of the blokes in Tesco’s car park. I got the car washed, tyres scrubbed, windows cleaned inside and out, and the thing hoovered throughout for a tenner. I did chuckle when I realised that the place is festooned with Union Jacks, and advertises itself as “The Great British Car Wash” but everyone there is Polish. But they did an excellent job. And with the car scrubbed out I put the car’s back seats where they should be. Namely in the car and not behind the sofa in the living room.

And then to Facebook. I spend far too much time on Facebook these days. It is really stupid. It has these silly applications “How much are you worth?”. So you answer some silly questions and a random number generator plucks a figure out of thin air. You publish this random number on your generator, and within ten minutes you’ll find that half a dozen of your mates have done the same quiz. And you gloat about those who are worth less than you, and sulk about those who are worth more.

And then you do quizzes such as “Which Jungle Animal Will Eat You?” And you keep pressing the refresh button to see how long it takes for your friends to cotton on to the fact that you’ve just done it, and to see which jungle animal will eat them. I suppose it keeps us off the streets…

1 October 2009 (Thursday) - Back to the Chokey

Off to the train station for a short ride to the chokey. Talking too much meant we nearly missed the train, but only “nearly”. We went via Wetherspoons for some scoff. There are those that run down Wetherspoons, but I like the place. A bowl of soup, a Mexican wrap and a pint of “Nog”, and then up to the slammer. Again talking too much meant we were cutting it rather fine. Or that is compared to some visits we might have been. On some visits the formal ID checks start at 1.30pm. Today it was nearer 1.50pm. Today was my seventh visit, and I don’t think I’ve had the same ID checking & searching process twice. Which is probably a deliberate policy.

It all happened at HMP Slade today. One of the fitter warders was searching people with a rubber glove (which was a result), and one of the pikier visitors stood up and announced to the world that it was going to puke before running from the room. Whereas on Monday there were no refreshments, today we were allowed to go to the staff canteen to stock up. Those guards would seem to know how to trough down!! Home made cakes… my diet’s gone west. “Norman Stanley” seemed well – he’s been playing basketball. His team lost 42-2.

And then home again, and goodbye to Sue for another year. Or maybe not. We’ve chatted about the Milwaukee kite festival. A trip to the Great Lakes might just be on the cards – provisionally in September 2010 or 2011….