12 May 2026 (Tuesday) - Before The Late Shift

 

There are several people who walk their dogs at five o’clock in the morning. There’s one dog which regularly comes up our road far too early barking like a thing possessed. It was that one which woke me this morning. I tried to get back to sleep, and dozed on and off until half past seven.

 

I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet. It was still there. The usual political arguing was completely missing from my Facebook feed this morning. Instead I had loads of postings for groups offering support to people with various bone marrow cancers, and quite a bit of “repent sinner!” bollox. As a lapsed Christian (I was once a Steward in the Methodist church), the entire Christian theology doesn’t stand up to any thought at all. *If* Jesus has already died in payment for my sins, why should I be up for eternal damnation? However I will make the observation that it is pointless to ask this question on a Facebook forum.

 

I Munzed, getting two Rover treats as I did, and took the dogs to the woods. Being pushed for time we went to Orlestone. There was a weird man in the car park. He seemed really creepy as he tried to stroke the dogs; I called them away.

We had a mostly good walk. It was a shame that Bailey ran amok, but she does that.

Yesterday we walked nearly seven miles; today it was just a shade over two.

 

We came home where “er indoors ^TM” was making herself a cuppa. She did me one, and then I cracked on in the garden. Yesterday I got three hypersonic rat deterrents (as they came in packs of three); overnight I had a stroke of genius as to where I might position one of them. And I got another coat of paint on my planks. I harvested a bumper crop of dog dung, and had a little look at the area round the plant pots vaguely planning for tomorrow.

I Wordled. Starting with “plank” I made rather hard work of it going through “cluck” and “click” before getting “clock” on the fourth attempt.

 

I set off to the late shift… and that was effectively it for the day. So often when on the late shift the day is done by the late morning.

11 May 2026 (Monday) - A Walk, An FTF, Some Shopping

I slept rather better than I have done recently, but was still awake earlier than I wanted to be. I got up. My back was hurting, but I got up easier than I did on the last couple of days.

I made toast and had a look at the Internet. It was still there. People were squabbling about last week’s elections… every squabble showed that the squabblers had no idea of the issues that they’d been voting about.

People were squabbling about religion.

People were squabbling about ponds, dogs, geocaching… pretty much everything about which it would be possible to squabble.

I sighed… I look at social media to see what colleagues, friends and family have been doing with their lives, not to watch people I’ve never met quarrelling with people they will never meet.

 

I Munzed, opening two qrates. I Wordled from “argue” through “event”, “coney” and “neddy” to come up with “newly” on the fifth attempt. And I took the dogs up to the woods. When the schools are open I need to leave home either before half past seven or after nine o’clock so I don’t get stuck in traffic. I got out of town easily enough this morning but the traffic coming into Ashford was backed up a mile or so up the A251 to the woods.

As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about how the Prime Minister’s days might be numbered, and whether he goes will be entirely down to some speech he is going to make. Surely he should be judged on what he does rather than what he says? This is why that idiot Boris Johnson survived so long. No one noticed how crap he was at actually doing the job; he was entertaining to listen to, and for most people that is all that counts.

And there was an interview with the ex-chairman of the league of A&E doctors (or whatever their club is called) who was saying how nice it would be to have one NHS-wide computer… I remember the debacle when that was tried last time…

We got to the woods and had a frankly epic walk of either six and three quarter miles or seven and one quarter miles, depending on whether you listen to my phone or my watch. But apart from a mild altercation with a Dalmatian the walk passed off pretty much entirely without incident.

 

We came home to find that “er indoors ^TM” was off on an errand with “Daddies’ Little Angel ^TM”. I told the Alexa to play “relaxing music for dogs” and I cracked on in the garden. I got another coat of paint on my planks, topped up the ponds and water features, bionically burned the weeds and topped up the bird feeder.

“er indoors ^TM” then came home and I made us a cuppa… then remembered I’d left the hose running topping up the big water feature… Woops.

I also saw a new geocache had gone live this morning near Lydd, and it hadn’t been found. I turned off the hose, and hopped into the car.

 

It didn’t take long to get to a lay-by on the road into Lydd, and after a quick search I spotted the geocache. I opened it up. The logsheet was blank… I was the first one to find it. Result ! That’s three hundred and one geocaches I’ve been first to find – I’ve got a list.

As I drove home so the rain started, so it was probably the best time to go shopping. I went to the garden centre at Hamstreet. Did they have anything that would get rid of rats in the garden? Yes. Did they have anything that would get rid of rats in the garden that *wouldn’t* kill the dogs? That got a blank stare… I got the impression that in the war against rats, killing the dogs would just be collateral damage.

I tried the new garden centre in the Home Bargains shop. It was closed; staff were turning customers away as the place had a power cut.

I tried Dobbies. They were helpful. As well as poisoning everything they had humane traps. The trouble with a humane trap is what do you do with what you’ve humanely captured? The nice lady suggested drowning the rats in a bucket of water (she really did!).

I went to Bybrook Barn where they had some ultrasonic rat deterrents. They were five times the price of the ones on Amazon, but had the advantage that you can plug them into a UK power socket. I’d rather scare the rats away than have to kill them.

Strangely the dogs don’t seen to deter them very much.

 

I came home. I plugged one of the ultrasonic thingies in the socket in the shed. I really need to figure out how to set one up in the garden. And I had a look at the gusher water feature. It is certainly running better now I’ve topped it up. I’ll wind the hose in tomorrow – the rain might have dried off of it by then. I’ll give the planks another coat of paint then as well – hopefully they will have dried too.

I made us both a cuppa and we had the last of the cake. Yesterday I said it was ginger cake. It wasn’t. It was golden syrup cake, and there’s no ginger in the ingredients. So why did I think it was ginger cake?

I wrote up some CPD and tried to get up quietly, but it was no good. Treacle was watching me like a hawk. She knew it was time to “FEED THE FISH”.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up dinner then went bowling. I settled on the sofa and started watching something new. “The Handmaid’s Tale” (on Amazon Prime). I’m two episodes in; so far, so good…

 

My back’s still giving me grief… I can sit still or I can walk about. It’s getting up and getting down that hurts…

10 May 2026 (Sunday) - A Quiet Day

As I peered into Facebook as I scoffed my toast I saw a posting from an old friend who is currently living in Australia. He was getting nostalgic and was hoping someone might organise a reunion of his old school-mates. It would be good, but the trouble with a reunion is that in the intervening years a *lot* of people have moved away and getting everyone back together would be problematical at best. Take our old gang from the Boys Brigade. The turn-out at our old leader’s funeral was a tad disappointing (frankly piss-poor) bearing in mind how many people I contacted, but I contacted people who’d since gone to live in Bournemouth, Minehead, Sweden, Scotland, Tonbridge...

Or take my old school class. A couple of months ago one of our number was back in Hastings (from Canada). Three of us met up. Others had since moved to St Albans, Colchester, Australia, USA…

 

I checked my emails… three new geocaches had gone live locally. It would have been nice to see if I could get First to Find on one of them… but the same chap who gets all the FTFs had flown round and done the lot in less than an hour after they went live. I would have gone out hoping to get one and to leave the other two for others. But that’s just me.

 

I sulked as I had a little look at the flower pots in the garden and had a measure-up, then Munzed. Our Guild (we’re not a Clan any more!) had reached the first of our monthly targets. I Wordled from “waste” through “paddy” and “parch” to “parka”. I don’t think it could have been anything else.

 

We then took the dogs out. “er indoors ^TM” had some maintenance to do on a couple of her geocaches, and with that done we carried on to Orlestone where we walked the dogs round. Being mid-day I hoped that the normal people would all be having their lunch, and for the most part they all were. We only saw one other person and that was almost at the car park.

I took a few photos as we walked.

 

We came home… and I remembered that I’d meant to go to Wickes whilst we were out. So leaving “er indoors ^TM” with the dogs I went shopping. A week or so ago we had a rat problem, and looking at the aftermath it would seem that they’d hollowed out the sleepers that I’d used to edge the garden. They’d gnawed in and chewed away the softer wood, and left the knots in place. I had intended to replace those sleepers, but it struck me that was just making a new home for them. So I got a couple of planks of decking which will stand on bricks. Being open means there will be nowhere for the poor rats to make nests. I do feel sorry for them… but they can go nest elsewhere.

Again this was one of those things that was far easier to type than to do.  Driving over to Wickes, getting what I needed, bringing it home and giving the planks a first coat of paint took two hours.

 

We did “FEED THE FISH”, we had a cuppa and some ginger cake. With my back giving me some serious grief I sat down and spent a little while updating my geocaching databases for Kings Wood. A few weeks ago I found another sink hole up there. That’s twenty-eight in those woods. And I included the Wherigo I created last week into the database as well.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching more episodes of “The Orville”.

Today has been a tad dull… and my back is still rather painful…

9 May 2026 (Saturday) - Early Shift

I had something of an early night but woke at ten to two and then just dozed on and off until finally giving up and trying to get up at half past four. “Trying” being the operative phrase… whatever damage I’d done doing the heavy lifting hadn’t got any better overnight.

 

I watched the last episode of “The Man In The High Castle” as I scoffed brekkie. It was a shame that having been a really good show I had to go onto the Internet to find out what the ending was all about. And whilst I was there I had a look at the Internet. Nothing was happening at half past five so I gingerly got up and took little while getting ready for work.

 

I hobbled out to the car and set off west-wards through the -hursts and the -dens. It was too early for the weekend news on the radio. Instead there was some utter tripe about the restoration of some heathland. What would have made rather good viewing on the telly made for rather rubbish listening on the radio. There's only so much description and being told to look at the pictures on the website that I can stand.

I switched over to my MP3 stick and sang along to Ivor Biggun.

 

I stopped off in Pembury's Tesco for lunch. Had I been at Maidstone today I would have tried the works canteen, but the Pembury one isn’t the same.

Tesco’s meal-deal looked good today - a barbecue chicken salad rather than a sandwich. When I came to pay, the self-service machine wanted the thick end of a tenner, and when I complained the poor little boy in the Tesco costume ran off to fetch his boss. There was quite the discussion amongst various members of staff as they tried to decide who it was that would have to tell me that what I wanted wasn't in the meal deal.

Am I that scary?

The chap who drew the short straw was adamant that the thing wasn't in the meal deal, and was not impressed when I pointed out the sign that said it was. He breathed an obvious sigh of relief when I said that I'd have the coronation chicken sandwich instead, but seemed utterly disinterested in removing the clearly wrong sign.

 

I went in to the early shift where I sulked. Saturday morning is usually Steve on the radio doing the "Guess the Lyrics" then Dog Club followed by Steve on the radio doing the Mystery Year. I missed all of that today.

But an early start made for an early finish. I came home to three dogs who were incredibly excited to see me. We did “FEED THE FISH” and they were then asleep within a couple of minutes.

 

I had a cuppa and counted the takings from Dog Club. We ask for a donation of one pound fifty per dog… there was twenty-seven quid and seventeen pence in the pot. What was that all about?

 

Chris arrived, and we spent a little while in the garden talking water features. Chris is keen to get one, but there’s more to them than just pretty splashy things. Ones at ground level look very nice but unearthing the pump for maintenance can be hard work. Splashy ones look pretty but soon empty the reservoir.

Steve and Sarah joined us, and we had a rather good evening on the Infinity Table. A game of “Game of Life” and a game of “Sorry” in both of which I didn’t quite come last.

And then a game of “Ticket to Ride” in which I had a plan, and I amazed myself at just how well that plan worked…

 

My back still hurts…

8 May 2026 (Friday) - Done My Back

With no reason to be up early I was awake far too early and lay wide awake for far too long. I eventually got up at half past seven with backache.

 

I made toast and had a look at the Internet. Bearing in mind there had been local elections pretty much everywhere in the country except in Kent yesterday, there wasn’t that much political talk on social media. That which was there rather showed the futility of democracy. With only four out of ten people having voted, Reform UK had done well. But sadly people cheering for them had been (and still were) cheering them on in much the same way that they would cheer on their favourite football team. And people were looking forward to Nigel Farage taking over as Prime Minister clearly utterly unaware of the difference between local and national governments.

Hundreds of new councilors who claimed that they will stop the boats are now supposedly going to sort out potholes, bins and adult social care.

I was rather amazed to hear the deputy leader of Reform UK on the radio claiming that the election was a “complete rejection of the Labour and Conservative parties” when so many Reform UK candidates were standing as Conservative last time. A good example of this was Robert Jenrick  who was being interviewed on the radio as I drove the dogs up to the woods. The fellow is currently a Reform UK MP and he spent quite a bit of time rubbishing the previous Conservative government… in which he was a cabinet member.

Democracy, eh?

 

We got to the woods and had a mostly good walk. There was a minor episode when Morgan got a tad over-excited when chasing a small spaniel. The bloke with the spaniel was all for the excitement and said his dog needed to be told off by other dogs. I said I’m all for other dogs chasing his dog, but not Morgan who needs to learn not to get so over-excited.

My bird identifying app detected a great crested flycatcher. I thought that was rather clever of it bearing in mind that you don’t get those in the UK.

As we walked I saw a herd of a dozen deer. Amazingly the dogs didn’t see them, even though they were only about thirty yards from us.

 

We came home. I made us both a cuppa which we had with a bit of Swiss roll. I then Wordled from “early” through “ramin”, “charm” and “smart” to get “umbra” (stupid word) on the fifth attempt. I then cracked on in the garden. I cleaned out the pump in the small pond, then had a look at the pumps in the big pond that supply the pressure filter. I had an idea that their nozzles might be full of fish turds. They weren’t but one of them had a loose fitting. I sorted that, cleaned out the pressure filter and reassembled. The water flow has definitely improved.

I then shifted the pedestal that “My Boy ^TM” gave me a couple of weeks ago. I moved it maybe twenty yards and put one of the Easter Island heads on it. So easy to type: I nearly knacked myself doing it. It felt as though I might have pulled something in my hip and leg.

 

I put a load of washing in to scrub, read my Kindle for a bit, then set about the ironing as I watched two more episodes of “The Man In The High Castle” in which the plot has taken a very unexpected twist.

We did “FEED THE FISH”, I wrote up some CPD, I stood up and immediately collapsed; I’d definitely pulled something in my hip and leg. I stood up a tad more carefully and I got up. My trouble is that I don’t “stand up”; I leap up as though I was a child. I should carefully get up slowly as though I was the pensioner that I actually am. Getting old is sad.

 

We listened to Heart Radio for a bit – “er indoors ^TM” had entered their prize draw. I was all for turning it off when she didn’t win the seven hundred thousand pounds prize. But we listened to the excitement of the girl who’d won it, and I remembered Joyce. Joyce was one of the waitresses who worked with me at the Harbour Restaurant in Hastings in 1980. She won the Sun (newspaper) bingo and immediately and publicly told the boss just how far he could stick the waitressing job up his chuff. She bought a new house, and a new car, and took the family on holiday… and was back at the Harbour Restaurant in less than a month grovelling for her old job back. It didn’t take her long to spend far more than she’d won.

Blowing money is easy, no matter how much money you have.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching another couple of episodes of “The Orville”.

I’m going to have an early night… I’ve got an early start tomorrow so I will be wide awake from two o’clock. Maybe going to bed early means I might get more shut-eye before I wake…

7 May 2026 (Thursday) - Rather Busy

“er indoors ^TM” went to the loo at four o’clock and Morgan followed her. He came back to bed and obviously was terrified of Treacle being already on the bed so came round to my side and did an amazing leap on to the bed, but stuffed up the landing. I managed to grab him as he slowly slid off the bed despite his frantic scrambling.

I didn’t really get back to sleep after that.

 

I got up and Munzed like a thing possessed. Overnight a garden of temporary Munzees has appeared, centred on our house. They’d arrived just as I’d gone to bed and would be going shortly after brekkie so I didn’t have long to Munz them.

And having Munzed I had a look at the Internet. There was consternation about the Victorian fountain in Viccie Park being expressed on the local Facebook pages. The thing needs some work doing but everyone posting were so quick to find fault and be negative. I really should stop following the local pages; they really wind me up. People who’ve lived their entire lives not fifty yards from where they were born put in so much time and effort running the town down. Maybe one in a thousand of them is prepared to actually do anything for the town, or for anyone else come to that.

And the local hospital had published an obituary for someone who used to work there. Someone with whom I used to work (for many years) died last week. Reading the gushing praise for a sterling and well-regarded fellow I found myself wondering if I actually knew him at all. I don’t really want to speak ill of the dead, but the dozens of tributes certainly didn’t mesh with my memories of the fellow.

 

I put a load of washing in to scrub, then took the dogs up to the woods. We walked half a mile more than we did yesterday and took two hours and a thousand steps less. How does that work? As we walked we met a couple of friends who were out geocaching. We had a good chat; I managed to stop them stroking Bailey. If she wants to be stroked she really shouldn’t roll in the fox poo, should she?

 

We came home where Bailey had a scrub… you wouldn’t believe just how much fox poo could be caked onto such a small dog. I hung out the washing, put the undercrackers in to tumble-dry and mowed the lawn before making myself a cuppa.

By then it was mid-day. Where does the time go? I watched an episode of “The Man In The High Castle” then went out to the garden. A couple of days ago I saw that the big pond’s aerator pump wasn’t running as well as it might. My initial thought was to get a new one, but a new one would be the thick end of a hundred quid so I pulled it out of the pond and as well as cleaning out the pump bit I cleaned out the tube that takes the water up to the splashy bit. That was ninety per cent blocked with muck. After ten minutes work it was all going far better than it had been, and that saved quite a bit of money too.

I then had a stroke of genius (I have those from time to time). The water coming back from the bog filter wasn’t going as fast as it might. I cleaned the pumps to that a while ago, but I didn’t scrape out the outlet…

I’ll do that another time.

 

I came in as it was getting cold. I marked more trainee’s work, wrote up CPD, then watched another episode of “The Man In The High Castle”. Our hero has effectively walked into Project Tic-Toc. It didn’t end well for Tony and Doug so why did he think he’d fare any better? As I watched telly I sorted the tumble-dried undercrackers. There’s never a dull moment in my world.

We then did “FEED THE FISH”; Treacle gets *so* excited about that.

 

“er indoors ^TM” came home from a day at the office and boiled up a particularly good bit of dinner. We washed it down with a bottle of plonk whilst watching this week’s episode of “Race Across The World” in which the contestants went through Tashkent. One pair of them worked at the huge food market that we visited when we were there, and another pair went through Amir Timur Square which we also visited and is not five minutes’ walk from one of the hotels in which we stayed.

6 May 2026 (Wednesday) - Wilmington

 

I slept well… but woke in a panic following a nightmare in which I’d built a sunken water feature in my deceased father’s shed and the house’s new owner wasn’t at all happy that the thing kept flooding.

What was that all about?

 

I got up and made toast. Yesterday I was a tad scathing about Reform UK’s ability to form a local council… However I would like to think that opinion was formed from the evidence of what they’ve actually done.

This morning Facebook suggested that I might like to follow the “We Loathe Reform UK” page and had presented me with a posting from some woman claiming to be an activist of the Roma community who was basically exhorting people to clout Reform UK supporters with crowbars. I was also presented with the Facebook page of an independent councillor who was claiming that another councillor in his ward had poured a milkshake over himself and then posted photos of himself claiming he’d been attacked in order to get the sympathy vote.

Is this *really* where UK politics had ended up?

 

I Munzed, and typed “panic” into Wordle. That got me two letters. “Ninny” told me where those two letters went, and I proved that with “bison”. “Widen” got me a little closer, “given” had me marking time, and I got it on the last go with “liken”.

I checked the geo-map, got my sat-nav “Hannah” set up, and we got ready for the day.

 

We set off on today’s adventure and made the mistake of following Google’s instructions to get to our destination. Google took us seemingly through every narrow lane in Kent and Sussex to eventually get us to Wilmington. Some time ago I’d seen there was a geo-meet at the top of the iconic Long Man planned for this afternoon so we drove down for that, We arrived early and had a rather good hour walking thought the village finding geocaches and solving field puzzles before lunch.

Lunch was in the aptly-named Long Man Inn which I can heartily recommend. “er indoors ^TM” had the chicken burger. I had the Sussex Cheeses ploughman’s which was very good. Blue cheese from Brighton, and goat’s cheese brie from Horam… And I had a couple of pints of decent ale too.

From there the plan was to walk in a pretty much straight line up to the meet at the top of the hill. But as we walked through the village we met Gordon and Ralph who said that there was a new geocaching Adventure Lab series that went (on a circuitous route) from the village up to the Long Man. We then met the chap who was running the geo-meet and he was up for a little diversion too. And as we climbed the hill we were joined by Carl who’d set the new Ad-Lab series.

We climbed the hill. There’s no denying that it was rather hard work, but the views from the top were spectacular. As geo-meets go the attendance was low, but today was just what this silly hobby is all about. A great walk with amazing views in the company of some very good people.

I took quite a few photos as we walked today. Amazingly we only covered five miles. About the same as one of our longer walks round Kings Wood. But it seemed a whole lot longer.

 

We came home following the roads we knew rather than the ones that we didn’t. We stopped off in Jempson’s in Rye to get pizzas. Having had a good lunch we didn’t want too much for dinner.

 

Once home I saw that ultrasonic rat repelling device I’d ordered had arrived. I opened the box to see that they’d sent six… and sadly all six didn’t have the fittings to go into a UK plug socket. So I got onto Amazon who refunded my money and said to chuck the things in the bin.

Whilst I’m pleased to have a refund, this is a tad wasteful, isn’t it?

 

We scoffed the Jempson’s pizzas whilst watching more episode of “The Orville”. Both were rather good.

Today’s been rather good…

5 May 2026 (Tuesday) - Back To Work

As I turned the telly on this morning there was an episode of “Friends” playing. I loathe and detest that show for the very reason that my mother would have loved it. Every time there’s a joke, the canned laughter is played (far too loudly) and the cast all grimace at the camera so that you know it is funny. My mother could never understand comedy that didn’t tell you quite so bluntly that it was funny, and to her any comedy show without the canned laughter was just “strange”.

 

I watched another episode of “The Man In The High Castle” then had a look at the Internet in case I’d missed much. I hadn’t really. There were quite a few photos from the Jack In The Green celebrations in Hastings yesterday, and a friend had acquired a cat in much the same way as we once lost one. Someone’s cat has just moved in to his house. Many years ago our old cat just stopped coming home and went to live with the mad old woman down the road.

Taking care not to wake anyone I got ready for work.

 

I set off to work listening to the pundits on the radio as I do. The cease fire in the Middle East is into its fourth week but is beginning to look shaky. For all that the Iranians aren't the ones that started it, you'd think that they would realise that the Americans are being led by a twit and they would make some allowances, wouldn't you?

And there was a lot of talk about this week's upcoming elections. It seems odd how a Prime Minster who won such a landslide victory over a year or so ago is now so hated by the electorate and is running scared from a party which has a proven track record of stuffing it up. The first time UKIP ran a council, they nearly bankrupted it when Thanet District Council descended into chaos, with plunging reserves, mass resignations, and warnings of financial collapse whilst the UKIP councillors focused on national talking points instead of fixing local problems. And they've not done much better with Kent County Council either, have they?  But as I've said (many times before) UKIP, Reform UK or whatever they are called this week just loudly and confidently tell the masses what the masses want to hear, whilst in comparison the Prime Minister is very dull.

 

I went in to Sainsburys to get a sandwich. The miserable old woman was on duty today, standing over the self-service tills and glaring at the public. Her time would be so much more productively put to use if she were to actually do something.

And then it was on to work where it was surprisingly busy.

 

Being on an early I got out promptly. I came home where we did “FEED THE FISH” and I was a tad miffed to see the pond’s aerator pump was struggling somewhat. I only cleaned that out yesterday. Mind you I did get given it second hand from the people who used to live next door who moved out six years ago so I can’t really complain. I’ve got a vague idea there’s another old pump in the shed… I shall have a look.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up sausages and chips which we scoffed whilst watching a couple of episodes of “The Orville”. One of them starred two doctors from “Star Trek”, and both episodes had ideas that had been done years ago in “Star Trek”… but “The Orville” probably did them better.

 

And in closing, I’ve found myself spending much of today thinking back to another day after a Bank Holiday. It was in the early eighties when I was slowly coming out of my religious nut phase. I had an exam the day after the Bank Holiday. On the day of the Bank Holiday there was some happy-clappy religious event bollox taking place to which all my mates of the time were going. I'd planned to miss this event because I needed to revise for the exam. But my fellow religious nut friends seriously claimed that if I went to the happy-clappy religious event bollox then God himself would help me with the exam. But (so it was claimed) if I didn't go, then God would take personal offence that I hadn't gone sucking up and would make sure the exam was needlessly difficult.

That really was the mentality of the righteous with whom I used to associate. And one of them currently runs a church in the West Country.

4 May 2026 (Monday) - Bank Holiday

I slept well, but was wide awake about three hours than I would have wanted to be. I tried to nod off, but I gave up and was peering into the Internet far too early this morning. And it was much the same as it ever was.

There was a frankly incomprehensible post on one of the pond-related Facebook pages I follow. Someone was trying to compare pond filters but their posting was about half a page long, lacked any punctuation at all and was frankly gibberish. To give just one example of what the readers were up against, at one point I think the chap was trying to compare two different filters. I would have written “this one does such-and-such as opposed to that one…” However, this fellow didn’t like the phrase “as opposed to”; preferring to use “has a post do” instead. Sadly, most people replying to his question (I *think* it was supposed to be a question and not a rant) were asking “WTF are you talking about” rather than offering any advice, and offence was being taken all round.

There were posts about today’s Jack In The Green festival in Hastings. We’ve been down to it in the past and had a great time. With the weather forecast for today having improved I vaguely considered kicking “er indoors ^TM” out of bed and and getting ready to go there. But it wasn’t really practical. The train from Ashford only has two carriages and would have been rammed *if* it had been running. I later found out it was a bus service today. If we’d driven, the nearest place to park would have been about a mile away up the hill where my gran used to live in Clive Vale.

 

“Daddies’ Little Angel ^TM” sent a message. She’s thinking about signing up for medical experiments. That would give her something to do.

I Munzed, I Wordled from a useless start with “would” onto a slightly better “shine” and almost got it with “miser”, and did get it on the fourth attempt with “riser”.

 

I went into the garden. Once I’d gathered dog turds I had a look at the garden’s biggest water feature. On Saturday I saw it wasn’t working. After a little farting around I found the problem was in the length of cable from the shed to the switch. Plugging the thing into the cable I use for the lawn mower had it gushing like a thing possessed. So the fix was easy. Simply replace the length of cable from the shed to the switch.

How easy to type.

Not so easy to do.

 

First of all I needed about fifteen metres of cable. I could have gone to B&Q but from experience I’ve found the staff to be surly and unhelpful (and that’s when they are in a good mood) so I drove across town to Wickes. I got what I needed, but whilst I’d been out so the outlet centre had opened. The roads were something of a nightmare coming home.

Once home I had a cuppa, then cracked on.

 

I hoiked out as much of the old cable as I could, laid out the new and trashed the switch in the process. But nil desperandum. I just wired in the outdoor switch that I’d found in the shed. I wonder what I’d bought that for? But it was in the shed so I thought I’d use it. I wired it all up, switched it on and then I realised a problem. This switch that I’d found was absolutely useless in that it only worked all the time I held it down. When I released it, it turned off. So, with all else having failed, I read the instructions. And saw that was how the switch was supposed to work. What did I ever get it for?

I went back to the shop.

 

As I’d driven home earlier the traffic from the outlet was queuing back past B&Q; going to Wickes would have taken an age so against my better judgement I went to B&Q. “er indoors ^TM” came; we made a little dog walk of it. I found an outdoor switch and queued for ages before I could actually get it. There were two tills with staff on them. All the others were self-service ones and the surly chap who works there was openly sneering at the people struggling with the self-service tills.

I came home… and saw that there were no screws to close up the box of the switch I’d just bought. I sighed and went back to B&Q. The surly chap was standing underneath a sigh saying returns so I went up to him and cheerfully announced my issue. He cut me off and grunted that I should bother the ladies on the tills who were working and not bother him who was clearly doing nothing.

The nice lady on the till suggested I might like to get a new switch…I had a look and saw that all of the boxes like the one I wanted had been opened and all of the screws had been removed. Who on Earth is that sad that they nick all of the screws from the outdoor switches in B&Q?

I got a more expensive one, and we checked it was all there.

 

I came home for the third time, and this time all was good. I wired up the new switch and all worked fine. I then spent an hour or so moving gravel and shingle and slabs to hide the new cable. After six hours the garden was back as it had been before; albeit with a working water feature.

I then scrubbed the algae from the water line in the big pond and cleaned out its aerator pump. I only did that a few weeks ago.

I had planned to hoik out the dead cordyline and put the lilac tree cuttings into place, but that can wait for another day.

As I’d pulled out the old poggered cable earlier, I saw that it had been chewed. That’s not good. I ordered an ultrasonic rat deterrent which should arrive in a couple of days. Good old Amazon.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up burgers which we scoffed whilst watching a couple more episodes of “The Orville”. I know we’ve seen them all before; I don’t remember any of them.

3 May 2026 (Sunday) - Hic !

I had something of an early night last night, and then woke at two o’clock. I dozed on and off, but my numb hand was tingling, my bad shoulder was aching, and I’d got the song “Remember You’re a Womble” playing on repeat in my head.

I got up at seven o’clock, made toast, and was somewhat dismayed to see the petty bickering was still continuing in the “Upstairs Downstairs” Facebook group. One person had taken great exception that I’d banned people for swearing at others. Apparently I’d gone against pretty much every rule of decent society by banning free speech. I chucked him out right away. We don’t want his sort. Free speech doesn’t mean people have the right to be deliberately offensive. And someone had declared that someone else was an idiot. They got the heave-ho too.

I thought about putting up another “argue nicely” post but that just seems to be a red rag to a bull for so many people.

I sent out birthday wishes, then Munzed. The Clan War started today… or “Gauntlet Game” as it’s now called. Effectively it is still scanning bar codes on lamp posts so it has changed in name only. But I opened Qrates, put out cards and had a Widdle too.

I Wordled. Starting with “night” gave me absolutely nothing. So I started again with “salve” which also gave me nothing. Having effectively wasted two goes I only had four tries left. “Proof” was a step in the right direction, and I got it with “puffy” on the fourth attempt. 

 

With thunderstorms forecast for the day we got ready for the off. Pausing only briefly to get some overpriced petrol we drove up to the Medway services for what was (in all honesty) one of the worst geo-meets I’ve been to.

We met up at the Medway services where a whole load of geocaching ad-labs had been set up. I’d been part of that, I’d actively encouraged the thing and in retrospect I wonder if I should have. To my mind the whole point of a geocaching meet is to meet up with old friends and to meet new friends. Most people at today’s meet  were sitting in silence fiddling on their phones doing the ad-labs. I very soon lost interest with the ad-labs and couldn’t get away from there quick enough. My geocaching score went up by one hundred and thirteen today… I can’t help but think that’s not right.

 

Form there we drove out to Sheerness and Whelan’s. We got some bits and bobs, and from there went on to Sittingbourne. We had a particularly good afternoon in Karl and Tracy’s garden.

Now that was the place to be. The afternoon became much more vague as it went on…

2 May 2026 (Saturday) - A Lazy Day

I had a rather good night’s sleep and didn’t wake until five o’clock when I found myself huddled up with Morgan. I lay dozing, but couldn’t stop thinking about Uzbekistan having seen it on telly last night. Or not so much Uzbekistan as our holiday group. We went on a guided tour with twenty-five other people. Over a week and a half friendships were forged and we became close. Then at the airport everyone just went their separate ways without (for the most part) even saying goodbye. Is this how these guided tours work? I suppose it is how the world works really. I’ve done three residential courses with the Open University where I met some great friends and immediately lost contact with them. Or look at people with whom I worked for years who I’ve now not seen for years.

 

I made toast and had my usual trawl round the Internet. It was still there. And people were still quarrelling. No matter what the subject (politics, religion, geocaching, dogs, 1980s music, 1970s kids comics, Star Trek, tattoos, Poldark, Upstairs Downstairs…) people couldn’t resist the chance to be nasty to each other. I moderate a Facebook group about “Upstairs Downstairs” and this morning I had to remove a comment in which some irate Canadian was telling someone from Manchester to “f… off”.

I had an email. The Wherigo I’d been working on had gone live, and I’d got an e-souvenir for having had a geocache published in May

 

I Munzed, and Wordled my way from “found” through “spine” and “blink” to get “bring” on the fourth attempt.

As I fiddled about Steve was on the radio. This week’s “Guess the Lyrics” competition was “She likes to wear her leather boots because it’s exciting for the veterans and it’s a tonic for the troops”. I knew that right away. “She’s So Modern” by the Boomtown Rats.

And having got the thumbs-up we got ready for Dog Club.

 

I got to Dog Club early. Having been told that there were issues with the lock that I needed to sort out I took a can of WD40 and gave it a squirt. That did the trick.

And then the dogs all arrived and we had a great time. Dogs ran and chased and generally ran riot as dogs do.

 

“er indoors ^TM” set off to craft club. I brought the dogs home. As I drove Steve was doing the mystery year competition on the radio. I thought I had it with the clues of “Fraggle Rock” and “You Bet”, and then Steve made a boo-boo referring to the Telecommunications Act (1984). Woops! – but it confirmed that my ideas were right.

I made myself a cuppa as my phone pinged. There was another post in the “Upstairs Downstairs” Facebook group from the irate Canadian. This time she was telling someone in Australia to “drop dead” do I banned her. But it’s a bit pathetic, isn’t it? Who on Earth gets themselves banned from an “Upstairs Downstairs” Facebook group?

 

I had a tittle tidy-up, scrubbed some ot the limescale out of the toilet (which was a strangely satisfying job)

And when “er indoors ^TM” came home we made the most of the weather by having a beer in the garden. Steve and Sarah joined us for an hour or so until the rain hit, and then we came in and sparked up the Infinity table.

 

A lazy day, but a good one…

1 May 2026 (Friday) - Memories of Bukhara

With an alarm set I woke far too early. Rather than laying awake I got up and watched an episode of “The Man In The High Castle” in which nothing really happened. It was the first episode of a new series and was all about introducing new characters. TV shows wind me up in that most of them have a plan for one season and if that is popular then further seasons are made up as they go along. So few TV shows actually have a coherent story all the way through.

 

I sparked up the lap-top and had my usual rummage round Facebook. One posting to a Hastings-related group wound me up as it mentioned something that “accored” yesterday which caused “bedlem” on a “rund about”, and everyone was just laughing at the poor fellow who’d asked an honest question. Why don’t people do themselves a favour and take two seconds to look at what they’ve typed? The auto-correct thingy will prompt when it thinks you’ve spelled something wrong.

 

I set off to work listening to the pundits on the radio interviewing a professional landlord. A new law came into force today. In theory it is a good thing supposedly improving the lot of people who live in rented houses. In practice it makes things rather more difficult for the landlord who only rents out one or two houses, and the consensus of opinion was that these people will be selling up, and those buying are those who already own dozens of rented houses. I couldn't work out whether or not this was good or bad. But when it comes to private renting, I always think of the husband of someone with whom I used to work. Some time ago he came into enough money to buy a house which he rented out as a small business. That brought in enough money to fund another house... and within a few years he had over fifty houses across the county. A nice little earner...

And there was talk about how the average British Jewish person is afraid to walk the streets following the recent murders. It would seem that there are those half-wits who cannot distinguish between what's going on in the Middle East and individuals minding their own business who've never been any closer to Gaza than Margate. Maybe those presenting the news might try to make the distinction a tad clearer? I can remember my mother being almost hysterical because some of my work colleagues were (and still are) Muslims. Having read the hate stirred up in her daily newspaper she thought that I worked with cut-throat maniacs... 

The press has a lot to answer for.

 

I stopped off at the Sainsbury's petrol station in Aylesford to get petrol. Being six pence per litre cheaper than Ashford I saved just over two quid. That was a result. However there was a minor delay at the till as the chap at the front of the queue was kicking off. As well as one of yesterday's sandwiches he wanted a pastie and something else (I didn't see what it was) and he wasn't happy that the woman on the till wouldn't do him a "meal deal". Other people get "meal deals", why couldn't he? He took it as a personal affront that only certain things counted in a "meal deal".

Eventually he begrudgingly paid up and cleared off, and once I'd paid up myself I went over to the supermarket to get my own meal deal.

 

Work was work, but being on the early shift meant I got out promptly. I came home and did “FEED THE FISH” then sat by the pond for a while. I did have a vague idea to take the dogs to Orlestone, but having had to park the car three streets away I couldn’t be bothered to walk them back to the car.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up cauliflower cheese which we scoffed whilst watching yesterday’s episode of “Race Across The World” in which the contestants followed our footsteps through Uzbekistan. As they went through Khiva and Bukhara we saw places we visited two years ago, and two of the contestants had a pint in the very same lakeside bar where we did not five minutes’ walk from our hotel..

That was a good holiday… but I wouldn’t do it without a guide like they do in. “Race Across The World”.

30 April 2026 (Thursday) - Busy

I spent much of the night trying to get comfortable. Whilst either carrying the pallet half a mile up the beach at Sunday’s litter pick or doing Monday’s gardening I somehow pulled a muscle. My left hand has been numb and my left shoulder has been hurting all week.

 

I interrupted my morning shave to go outside. There was a loud crashing above me. Were there rats in the ceiling space? I went out to see a huge seagull flying away. Better a seagull than a rat. I had a quick look at the little pond – the predator deterrent seemed to be doing the trick.

 

I scoffed toast whilst peering at a dull internet, then once we’d got the tick-repelling collars onto the dogs I took them up to the woods.

We had a good walk. The swamps have all dried up, we found no fox poo. But at several points we saw several people lurking maybe ten to fifteen yards from the paths. Just standing in the undergrowth. It’s too early in the year for mushrooms – what were they all up to?

And there was a minor incident as we came back to the car park. Some elderly chap had taken a tumble. I helped him back up and he was fine… he’d just gone arse over tit and couldn’t get back up again, and his elderly wife wasn’t up to the task of heaving him up. Mind you when I say “elderly” they probably weren’t that much older than me… I wonder how long it will be before I couldn’t get up if I was to cark over? After all I did cark over in the mud just a month or so ago.

 

I stopped off at the post box in Chart Road on the way home to post a turd to the NHS. As part of the bowel cancer screening programme everyone of a certain age gets to post the NHS a turd every couple of years.

When I first started in pathology many years ago things were very different… These days you choose your specialty *before* you apply for a job. Back in the day you were taken on as a generic trainee and you spent two years going round the various departments to see what you liked best, and what liked you best. It didn’t take me long to opt for a specialty that doesn’t involve testing turds. Back in the day I tested quite a few of them and decided that it wasn’t for me…

 

We came home to an empty house. “er indoors ^TM” was having meetings today. That was nice for her. I made myself a cuppa and scoffed the last of the Bakewell tarts, Munzed, and Wordled from “watch” to “clock” to get “crock” on the third attempt. Then despite my aching shoulder and hand I went into the garden.

 

I gathered turds, I strimmed, I mowed, I cleaned out the big pond’s filter. It has to be said that clearing the turds of a dozen fish is far easier than clearing those of three small dogs.

I then fiddled about having a bit of a tidy-up inside. I then put some washing in to scrub, and as it scrubbed I marked some trainee work and wrote up some CPD.

I did the ironing whilst watching episodes of “The Man in the High Castle” which would seem to have developed a cheapskate version of Project Tic-Toc (for those old enough to remember it). I Hoovered. I got the hair trimmers out and gave Bailey a little tidy-up. Not that she was in any way grateful.

I filled up the bird feeder, I did “FEED THE FISH”, and just as I settled to have a little doze by the pond so “er indoors ^TM” returned with a load of shopping that needed carrying in.

 

We had pie and chips for dinner and watched a couple of episodes of “The Orville” as we scoffed. They were rather good (the episodes and the pie and chips).

I’ve got an early start tomorrow so I should really have an early night. But I’m looking forward to having a rest tomorrow. People think I’m joking when I ay I go to work for a rest, but yesterday was a work day and I covered just over four thousand steps. I did over four times that amount today…

And my hand and shoulder still hurt.

29 April 2026 (Wednesday) - Bookish ?

I was up far too early this morning. My heart sank as I watched an episode of “The Man in the High Castle” as two of the main protagonists became rather lesbidaceous, and another flopped the jubblies out. Not that I’m taking any moral high ground here, but when this happened in “Game of Thrones” it coincided with the writer obviously running out of ideas. Let’s hope this isn’t the beginning of the end for what has been a rather good show so far.

 

As I peered into Facebook I saw that our MP had posted last night explaining why he had voted in favour of the Prime Minister not being investigated. He wasn’t fooling anyone though. Leaving aside the total waste of time it would be to investigate the Prime Minister, the real reason our MP voted the way he did was because he’d been told to do so. Back in the day in the run-up to the last general election he was claiming that black was white and shit was sugar, but in retrospect he was just saying anything which would endear him to the electorate. And have endeared himself and got elected the chap now talks a good fight but has no opinions of his own. He simply parrots that which the Labour party whips tell him to say, regardless of anything he might have said in the past. As a life-long-leftie it bothers me that actually having a Labour MP has turned out to be something of a disappointment.

And I had an email thanking me. Regular readers of this drivel may recall that last year I made a financial investment. I lent someone called Edgar fifteen quid to help him finance a pig farm in the Philippines. Edgar has now made a success of his pig farm and has fully repaid his loans… and he’s repaid me thirteen pounds and eighty-one pence. Now I’m no financial wizard, but I rather thought that when I invested fifteen quid I would get more than fifteen quid back… I always thought that was how “an investment” worked.

However rather than cashing in my profit, last night I decided to speculate to accumulate and I’ve lent it to another pig farm; this one in Ecuador. I put up a post on Facebook last night suggesting people might like to also invest in struggling third world businesses. This morning I got a little thank you because someone had clicked on the link I’d put up and had signed up themselves. If anyone else fancies having a go, here’s the link.

And it would seem that Munzee aren’t doing Clan War any more. That’s a shame – it has been something which has kept me out of mischief for some time. However nil desperandum… Munzee are launching “Gauntlet Games” which to my untutored eye looks to be exactly the same as Clan War in all but name.

 

I set the dishwasher going, and got ready for the early shift.

 

I went down the road to my car taking care not to trip over the same cable that I saw charging the electric car yesterday.  It had been over the pavement for over twelve hours... According to Sections 162 and 178 of the Highways Act 1980, it is illegal to place a wire or apparatus over, along, or across a public highway...

I was tempted to pretend I'd gone arse over tit over it and see if I might get some compensation. After all, if I don't someone else will. 

 

I set off to work listening to the news.  The King is still in America... I originally wondered if he mightn't have done better by staying away, but he seems to be impressing President Trump. Maybe his going there was for the best?

 

I got to work and realised I'd forgotten to pop in at Sainsburys for a sandwich. I had a look at the works branch of M&S instead and wished I hadn't. You can get a decent sandwich snack and drink and change out of four quid from Sainsburys. M&S wanted six quid for a rather manky looking sandwich, a rather miniscule bag of crisps and a tiny bottle of water. 

I went to the hospital's league of friends shop instead...  It was still more expensive than Sainsbury's, but nowhere near as grim as what M&S were offering.

Work was work... could you believe that none of my colleagues had heard of Mrs McCave?

And as I scoffed my sandwich from the hospital's league of friends shop my Kindle app told me it had given me an award for being “bookish”.

 

Being on an early I got out early and came home to find that electric car down the road was still being charged. How long does it take to charge an electric car from a living room socket?

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up some rather good fajitas which we washed down with a rather grim bottle of plonk. If ever you feel tempted to get outside of a bottle of “Drop Anchor” personally I wouldn’t bother.  If you ever find yourself in possession of a bottle of the stuff… I’ve had worse.

We followed it up with half a bottle of amaretto as we watched three episodes of “The Orville”… I’ve heard the show described as the best series of Star Trek that we never had, and that’s probably not an unfair description.