21 May 2026 (Thursday) - Not On Any Shift

I rolled my eyes as I read Facebook this morning. Someone I know had posted about how Earth would "lose gravity" for seven seconds on Aug. 12, 2026 — leading to "40 million deaths from falls" among other cataclysmic outcomes. It was claimed that NASA knew all about this and was working on "Project Anchor" organising special preparations for this cosmic event.

However simply typing "Project Anchor" shows you that it is all a load of bollox. Why are people so quick to spread this drivel? Are they so stupid that they believe the conspiracy theories, or too lazy to take two seconds to do some fact checking?

And I was amazed to see that my MP had written to the Transport Secretary to complain about Operation Brock. Up till now he has been constantly kissing the government’s arse… clearly the Prime Minister’s shaky position has given him some courage.

 

I took the dogs out. As we drove the pundits on the radio were interviewing some idiot from OFCOM. Apparently kids are still accessing all sorts of things on the internet that they shouldn’t (including hard-core smut). The idiot being interviewed was adamant that the internet providers had been severely sanctioned… but when pushed she admitted that “severely sanctioned” was effectively a telling-off, and being asked not to do it again. The obvious answer would be to shut down the offending companies but that would go against the companies right to allow kids to access that which they shouldn’t.

I found myself reminded of some of my old schoolteachers. We actually liked and respected those who wielded the slipper (when they had to) and laughed at those who tried to reason with us.

 

We got to the woods. The other day I mentioned that I try to walk different routes… It occurred to me that no matter what route we walk, the last mile is always the same. So today we walked a very different route. As well as the usual shenanigans we chased a rabbit (it might have been a hare) and chewed a deer’s backbone.

As we walked I had my Map My Walk app running. I’ve mentioned how the thing disagrees with my watch about the distances we cover. Today it thought we’d walked half a mile less than what my watch said, and it thought we’d taken five minutes longer to do so.

It also has issues with its own timings. As I complete each mile it tells me how long I’ve been walking for, and how long it took me to cover the most recent walked mile. So in theory when I complete the first mile, the two times it announces should be identical. In practice they are *always* different. How does that work?.

Today we walked somewhere between five and a half and six miles. In that time we saw three other people, and all of those were within a couple of hundred yards of the car park.

 

With walk walked we came home where Bailey had a wash (with soap!). “er indoors ^TM” was having an office day so I just made myself a cuppa. I had an Aldi kit-kat with it. I like those – imagine a kit-kat but with good chocolate.

I Munzed, Wordled from “earth” to “agree” in three goes, then set the dishwasher going and had a look in the garden.

I mowed the lawn. I bionically burned the weeds. I had a little look at the new water feature thingy. I *think* I know how I might attach a water hose to it. I shall have a trip to the pond shops tomorrow. I marked some more trainee work, and then feeling rather worn out I made myself another cuppa and watched more of “The Handmaid’s Tale”.

 

I had a little kip, then “er indoors ^TM” returned. As we scoffed dinner we watched the final of “Race Across the World”. Italy to Mongolia… it was quite a trip. I wouldn’t mind a guided tour round Mongolia if only I could be sure the dogs were looked after…

20 May 2026 (Wednesday) - Before the Late Shift

Back in January I mentioned that Forestry England were charging to park a car in Battle Great Wood. Last night Steve told me that Forestry England are going to start charging for parking in Kings Wood. Bearing in mind our average walk, and bearing in mind the cost of parking at Battle Great Wood that would set me back about thirty quid a month.

So I joined Forestry England which costs eight quid a month and gives me free parking. This morning as I scoffed my toast I saw that the tree huggers are contacting Forestry England to find out what the new parking charges will mean for them. I wonder if they are hoping for a discount. And quite a lot of locals were oh-so-happily showing off their ignorance about how the world works. Kings Wood is run by Forestry England. It is utterly and totally nothing at all to do with either the local council, the county council or any of the privately owned local building companies. But still those with single-digit IQs were ranting about how some vague “they” were planning to chase everyone out of the woods so that “they” could build more houses.

Building in those woods is an argument that was done to death twenty years ago.

I Wordled from “great” to “wreck” in three goes. I Munzed, opening two qrates and getting two more.

I went upstairs and got dressed maybe not as quietly as I might have done. I wanted to get a move on and everyone else needed to get up anyway.

 

With time shorter than usual I took the dogs to Orlestone. As we drove the pundits on the radio were saying that what with the Strait of Hormuz closed, Russian oil can now be bought… *if* it is first processed in another country. What’s that all about?

We got to the woods and walked a couple of miles. The dogs were well behaved; it was a shame that Bailey had to roll in fox poo, but there it is.

As we walked I ran the “Map My Walk” app. In January I accepted the challenge to walk one thousand kilometers over the year. I’m over half-way.

 

We came home where Bailey had a bath. With soap (!) I got changed and leaving “er indoors ^TM” and the dogs I set off to work a bit earlier than I might have done.  I'd looked at Google Maps and saw that to get to Whelans (in Sheerness) the quickest way was to go up the motorway. It was a shame that no-one had told Google that the Operation Brock stupidity was back in place. I drove the sixteen miles at seemingly a snail's pace stuck behind a rather wide static caravan which was taking up both lanes.

I can remember at last year's elections the Reform UK candidate was quite clear that under a Reform UK led county council, Operation Brock would be a thing of the past. Mind you they said the same about stopping the illegal immigration and sorting out the flooding at the Asda underpass, didn't they? You don't suppose that they just said that black was white and made all sorts of claims about which they would be utterly powerless to implement purely in order to get elected, do you?

I got to Whelan's. Yesterday I phoned the garden centre that I couldn't get to (because of the traffic) and found that the water feature fountain ornament that I wanted was far too expensive. I had this idea that Whelan's might have something at a much better price.

They did.

 

Whilst I was there I saw a rather nice little bird water bath thingy. I thought that I might get that as a little pressie for Karl and Tracy. I'd be driving past their house on the way to work so I thought that I could park up and using my ninja-like stealth I could sneak it into their garden, and then disappear like a shadow, leaving them scratching their heads in wonderment about where the new ornament had come from.

It was a good idea which was sadly thwarted by their motion-sensitive camera.

I need to work on my ninja-like stealth.

 

From there I went on to Aylesford Aquatics. Three years ago I slated the place on Google reviews and it hasn't got any better in the meantime. I had an idea I might get the hoses I need for my new water feature... Let's just say that I sighed and walked out, and leave it at that.

I then drove on to the petrol station at the nearby Sainsbury's where I got petrol and lunch. Getting lunch took some doing. I can't help but wonder if I was being thick... It turned out that despite every single food item being labelled as "meal deal", only certain items were actually in the meal deal. The woman behind the till felt that it was rather obvious what was and what wasn't in the deal, and seemed to think that the labelling was some sort of advertising or artwork. It certainly wasn't in any way intended to let people know what was and wasn't in the meal deal.

I sighed again.

 

I then went on to the late shift which was busier than I'd hoped. 

I’m not a fan of the late shifts…

19 May 2026 (Tuesday) - Early Shift

I was fast asleep when “er indoors ^TM” decided to have an argument with Bailey last night. Personally I can't see why Bailey can't go out into the garden every twenty minutes all through the night if she wants to... as long as I'm not disturbed about it.  I eventually nodded off again but woke in a sweat following a rather vivid nightmare in which an old friend had devised a money-making scheme. The idea was that by replacing lockers at swimming pools and sports centres with fridges, people's clothing would stay fresher for longer. I'm not sure how come I got the job of replacing the nation's lockers...

 

Finding myself wide awake at four o'clock I tried to get back to sleep, but it wasn't happening. I got up and as I made toast there was quite the procession of dogs wanting to go into the garden.

I scoffed toast whilst watching another episode of "The Handmaid's Tale" in which again not a lot seemed to happen. As I watched so that noisy dog came up the road... It was odd. The moment I heard its barking I charged outside to tell the owner to keep the noise down... and there was no one to be seen in the street. 

 

I got dressed and set off for work. This morning the DAB radio worked fine all the way from home to work. As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about how the Scottish First Minister is planning to put a cap on the price of groceries. In theory it's a rather good idea. In practice if shopkeepers are forced to sell food without being able to make a profit then they aren't going to sell food, are they? It’s called market forces...

And there was talk about the Ebola epidemic in Africa. It was claimed that much of the problem was down to the locals not trusting proper medicine and preferring to use crackpot faith healers. You have to wonder why, when proper medicine works and crackpot faith healing doesn't.

 

I popped into Sainsburys to get lunch. I counted all my coins into the machine. As I did so the rather angry assistant glared at me. I don't see why it was such a big deal to her, but clearly it was.

And then I went in to work where a colleague had made fudge in honour of her birthday. It was rather good, and I'm reliably informed that it is quite easy to make. I might have a go.

 

The plan was that after work I would go to Bybrook Barn garden centre to have a look at a water feature I could hook up to the new aerator pump. I drove to the garden centre… and joined the queue of traffic at Sainsburys. After twenty minutes I’d travelled maybe twenty yards so I gave up and came home.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up sausages and we scoffed them whilst watching more of “The Orville”. I might have an early night… I’m worn out. Even if being at work my step count for today is only a third of what it was yesterday.

18 May 2026 (Monday) - A Walk, Ironing, Stuff...

I slept rather well last night. Over brekkie I had my usual root around the internet and my piss boiled on one of the supposedly work-related Facebook pages in which people were talking about an incident on a cruise ship when a call went out for someone who knew their blood group so they could give a unit of blood to a fellow passenger.

Blood transfusions simply don’t work that way… unless it is your intention to kill someone. I was reminded of my days in scouting when a local group were going to Africa and the leader wanted to know everyone’s blood group so that he could know whose blood could go into who… He was serious. He’d done his research by reading up on Wikipedia (!) and I had to involve the Chief Scout and the British Blood Transfusion Society to dissuade him.

Here’s a tip… if you ever meet anyone using the phrase “universal donor” or “universal recipient” then you know for a fact that the person you’ve met knows absolutely nothing about blood transfusions.

And I saw that the Rother Valley brewery has closed down. They brewed “Level Best”, “Blues” and “Smild”; three of my favourite beers. It turns out the chap who ran the brewery is in his eighties and he’s had enough. I’m twenty years younger and I know the feeling.

I Munzed, and Wordled from “about” to “loath” in four goes.

 

I took the dogs out. I tuned the radio to Radio Four’s DAB channel, and again as I went past the Matalan roundabout and up Chart Road so Radio Ashford came over the top of it. Perhaps it’s an interference thing as it only happens in that location?

As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about the new head honcho at the BBC. Last week he was a big cheese at Google. I can’t see what transferrable skills a search engine company would have for a broadcaster, but this would seem to be how senior managers operate. Perhaps I might jack it all in and become a coastguard or a driving instructor?

 

We got to the woods where we met Nala. Nala was a rather lovable staffie who clearly wanted to join in with our group and come with us. She showed no inclination to go back to the rather angry looking thug who was screaming at her from across the field, and I can’t say I blamed her for that.

We walked a variation on our usual walk. I’m keen that we don’t do the same walk every time. Back in the day we got into a vicious circle with Fudge who got so used to the route we took that he wouldn’t walk any other route. And the route we took had to be the anticlockwise way round as well. He simply refused to walk anything different; I had to put his lead on him and drag him if we wanted a change.

As we walked so Bailey rolled in fox poo. Treacle thought the sink hole had dried out. It hadn’t; the stinking mud was belly deep. Morgan chased squirrels.

 

We went out having seen the weather forecast had been for showers. We walked about four and a half miles over an hour and a half and it was only when we got home that the rain hit.

The girls both had a bath. With soap. I then made us both a cuppa and looked at the rain. I did have a plan to sort the pond aerator pump I’d bought on Friday, but that could keep until the rain stopped. And with the lawn wet, mowing it would have been silly.

I put shirts in to wash, wrote up some CPD, and marked some trainee’s portfolio work. For all that the trainees put in a lot of effort I do think they miss out by not going on a day release and meeting up with other trainees and getting lectures from senior workplace staff in a university environment. Like I did.

I suppose that was rather expensive though.

 

After a couple of scones for lunch I did the ironing. A dull task, bit one that needed doing. As I ironed I watched a couple of episodes of “The Handmaid’s Tale” which featured her who was rather lesbidaceous in “Orange is the New Black”. And then with the rain having subsided I ran the hair trimmers over my head and did “FEED THE FISH”. I then topped up the new bird feeder. Sadly when the advert said “doesn’t scatter seed” what it actually meant was “scatters seed like a thing possessed”. We’ve ordered some seed trays, but having re-organised the area around the feeder last week it is now much easier to sweep up with a yard brush.

As I topped up the feeder so I could see the sparrows getting rather impatient, and the robin was on the feeder by the time I’d put the bulk supply of bird seed into the shed.

And then a blue tit came for some food. That was a result.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up fish and chips which we scoffed whilst watching “Richard Osman’s House of Games”. Have you ever watched it? It’s one of the better TV quiz shows which is sadly marred by the so-called celebrities who star in the show who are always oh-so-quick to proudly show off their ignorance.

 

“er indoors ^TM” then went bowling as she does went bowling as she does most Mondays. I made myself comfortable on the sofa and watched a couple more episodes of “The Handmaid’s Tale”. The story doesn’t seem to be going anywhere…

17 May 2026 (Sunday) - Boughton Aluph to Wye (and back)

It was a rather late night last night as we watched the voting for the Eurovision Song Contest. My choice (the Romanian dominatrix lesbians) came in third. The winners (Bulgaria) had five hundred and sixteen points, while the UK came in last with just one point. Back in the day I would have said “We came in last” but I don’t feel any connection with what is supposed to be my country these days. Yesterday there was a “Unite the Nation” rally… it’s rather ironic that those who are loudest in advocating patriotism are those who make me ashamed to be British.

 

I didn’t get up till half past nine this morning. That was something of a result. I made toast and peered into Facebook as I do. Several friends were off on holidays. Dorset, Seattle, Spain… And there was a strange posting on one of the work-related groups. Someone had posted a photo of a blood film and had asked a multiple-choice question of what the salient features were. Amazingly everyone had got the answer right, and then at the bottom of the page I saw “Show Hidden Comments”. Apparently some comments were hidden because they may be “offensive, off-topic or spam”. I clicked to see the hidden comments. None were offensive, off-topic or spam. However all of the hidden comments were giving wrong answers.

I Munzed and Wordled from “night” to “bylaw” in four goes as two magpies argued in the garden. That didn’t bother the dogs much(!)

 

I looked at the weather forecasts. The BBC claimed there would be rain showers all day. The Met Office claimed it would be dry until early afternoon. We chose to go with the Met Office and took the dogs out for a walk.

We drove out to Boughton Aluph and walked along quiet lanes and footpaths to the church. The plan was then to go back to the car, but it wouldn’t be *that* far to go into Wye and the weather looked OK. So that’s what we did. It was a shame that Bailey had to roll in fox poo, but that’s the sort of dog she is.

We walked out to The Sawyers.  I once went there with my Fudge when the beer selection was amazing. Today they only had a couple of ales on, but the place was friendly. And we met Alan there. It was good to catch up.

From there we went on on to the Tickled Trout. It was a friendly enough place. It was rather pretty sitting by the river. But… Eighteen quid for a pint and a half and four bags of crisps? Seriously? The same had been ten quid cheaper not five minutes’ walk up the road.

From there we headed back to the car. It was a shame that “er indoors ^TM” dropped Treacle’s lead on the way back, and with lead retrieved it was another shame that Bailey had to run amok in a thicket, but there it is.

We got back to the car to find we’d covered six miles. I thought it would have been maybe three and a half.

We came home and with the sun still shining we had a pint and some crisps in the garden.

I took a few photos as we walked and sat and drank. I was so glad we’d not taken much notice of the weather forecast.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up pizza which we scoffed whilst watching another episode of “The Orville”.

I’m quite worn out; we’ve had a busy day…

 

16 May 2026 (Saturday) - Dog Club, Radio, Tip Run, Late Shift

I slept rather well; the alarm woke me this morning. That rarely happens. I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet. There were two bitter and nasty arguments this morning on Facebook. One on an advert about bird feeders and one about a pub I periodically drive past.

The RSPB has suggested that people don’t use bird feeders over the summer, and that has gone down like a lead balloon with those who make a living from selling bird feeders.

And the current leaseholder of The Peacock in Cranbrook has announced that he will not be renewing his lease, and that there isn’t anyone who looks keen to take over. There are those who were up in arms about another pub closing, but seriously? We had a pub lunch the other day. A meal and a couple of drinks cost over fifty quid. And we were in with the great unwashed. Who wants to spend good money to be in the pub next to me and my dogs? Every pub needs a hard core of customers who go regularly (daily) and hand copious amounts of money over the bar. And that’s the biggest problem that The Peacock in Cranbrook has. I say “in Cranbrook”; the local Facebook pages say it in Goudhurst… it’s actually mid-way between the two villages on a rather busy road with no way of getting there safely unless you drive.

 

I sent out birthday wishes to a Facebook friend. Twenty years ago she was one of my trainees. Her boyfriend of the time (now her husband) set himself up as a plumber… they now live in a rather nice mansion on the Kent-Sussex border.

If I had my time again…

I Munzed, and Wordled from “slept” to “mover” in four goes.

Steve was on the radio doing the “Guess the Lyrics” competition on the radio. “There were incidents and accidents”. I had no idea - it was You Can Call Me Al by Paul Simon. Whilst I wracked my brain, “The Number One Song In Heaven” was playing on the radio; a very good choice…

We got ready for Dog Club.

 

Dog Club was good today. I tried counting several times. I don’t think there was over twenty dogs along but attendance was certainly in the high teens. All the dogs had a great time, and Bailey stood up for herself by picking on Phoenix. Phoenix is a rather loveable Australian sheep-dog who didn’t deserve to be picked on.

 

As we drove home Steve was doing the “Mystery Year” competition on the radio. In which year was the first Harry Potter film released? No? – 2001.

I then spent a few minutes getting rubbish into the car. The sleepers that the rats had chewed. The poggered water feature, the poggered pressure-washer. The Yard of Ale which seemed such a good idea at the time but just gathered dust and was impossible to clean. With Ashford’s tip still closed the obvious place and time to unload rubbish is the tip at Allington before a late shift. Rather amazingly I’d been able to book a space for this morning.

 

I set off to work sulking. As I have said so many times working in a hospital means I work early in the morning, late at night, weekends, bank holidays, and all night long. It goes with the territory. But I do resent working at the weekends when the sun is out. The weather was glorious as I left home.

Bearing in mind Radio Ashford's new DAB signal, I thought I'd listen to that on the way to work. Unfortunately the signal kept cutting out as I drove along Brookfield Road, but nil desperandum - I had a stroke of genius that it might be my car's radio that was at fault rather than the signal itself. So to prove a point I turned to Radio Four on the DAB. After a few seconds of their program I heard Steve's voice cutting across giving Radio Ashford's travel news. 

I think my car's DAB had had it. I shall get a new one...

Or to be more accurate I shall add it to the list of new things that I'd like to have. It's currently quite a long way down the list after various other new things including pants, deodorant, work shoes and a pressure washer. The FM band on the car radio works well enough though... I suspect the new DAB car radio will come with the new car... which I hope won't be for a little while.

 

I stopped off at the tip at Allington where once I'd dumped the rubbish I had a look round their tat shop. All of the half-way decent tat that goes to any of Kent's tips gets salvaged and put on sale in a little shop at the Allington tip. Paintings, glasses, furniture, lawnmowers, guitars, records... it was just like going back in time fifteen years to the tat shop that my mother-in-law used to run, or back in time fifty years to a Boys Brigade jumble sale. 

Sadly they didn't have any car DAB radios.

 

From there I went on to work and the late shift where I spent a while peering out the window in the rather selfish hope that it would rain. And I was rather pleased when it hossed down at three o'clock. I know that's mean of me, but there it is.  Having had to turn down the offer of an afternoon on the beer I really didn't want to be looking out of the window at an afternoon which would have been ideal for being on the beer.

 

I came home where “er indoors ^TM” had boiled up a rather good plate of fajitas which we scoffed whilst watching the end of the Eurovision Song Contest. (“er indoors ^TM” had seen it from the start). I can’t pretend to be a fan of Eurovision, but the entries from Lithuania and Norway were frankly dreadful. And I couldn’t help but wonder what were the Austrians thinking of?

In the end my vote was split between the Cypriot jubblies and the Romanian dominatrix lesbians.

Call me an old traditionalist if you will… 

 

15 May 2026 (Friday) - Early Shift

With an alarm set I was wide awake far too early this morning and watching an episode of “The Handmaid’s Tale” at five o’clock. Disappointingly the jubblies were flopped out in this morning’s episode. I say “disappointingly” because (for all that I am a fan of jubblies) their being flopped out in any TV series usually means the writers have run out of ideas.

As I watched I listened out for that dog which has come down the street barking at five o’clock every day this week. I was all set to go out and have a word, but this morning either they walked somewhere else, or they walked quietly.

 

I then had a little look at the Internet as I do. This morning I didn’t see a single advert for anything. That was rather odd. There was a petty squabble about some upcoming film in which Supergirl had pierced ears. For some people that really was a matter of the utmost importance.

I got dressed and set off to work.

 

I hobbled out to the car and set off west-wards through the -hursts and the -dens.  As I drove I listened to the pundits on the radio. The mayor of Manchester is looking set to jack in being mayor in favour of being Prime Minister. He's got a sitting MP to stand down for him... and in doing so has illustrated a strange procedural irregularity in our parliamentary system. If an MP jacks it in then there has to be a public election to replace them. However if the Prime Minister jacks it in then there's no public election. This isn't news; this is well established and has been going on for years. It's all a bit odd though. In practice it means that *if* Andy Burnham gets elected as an MP he can then get straight in to the top job pretty much right away. However there is a big "if". Where he's standing had a total Reform UK vote in last week’s council elections. I suspect he's going to fall at the first hurdle.

And there was an interview with the head honcho of the company that makes the Raspberry Pi computers. He was talking about delivery costs and plastic prices in such a way that if it all got too expensive then his company could just make ice cream or dog collars instead. For some people the profession isn't "insurance" or "teaching" or "baker" or "farrier" or "manufacturer". For some people the profession really is "making a profit", and how they make that profit is entirely secondary to what their company actually does. The chap was talking about "bleeding edge technology". I laughed at him for getting the phrase wrong. Surely he meant "leading edge technology". It turned out that I was wrong and he was right. "Bleeding edge technology" is a thing.

One lives and learns.

 

I stopped off at the Pembury Tesco to get a sandwich, and whilst I was at it a bag (or three) of dog treats for tomorrow's Dog Club. As always no one was operating the proper tills. I made a point of checking the self-service tills to make sure I got the meal deal bargain (which I did) but there was a minor hiccup with the dog treats. On the shelf the label said "three for three pounds" but the machine said it was three for three pounds fifty pence. Bearing in mind the squabble I'd had with them last Saturday I really couldn't be arsed to bicker.

There was also a potential issue with the self-service machine in that as I fed all my loose change into the machine I rather lost count. Looking back I'm sure it must be my mistake, but I couldn't help but feel that the machine took a quid too much. I've felt that before; next time I shall be more strict with my counting.

 

I got to work where I did the best I could with my dodgy back. Mind you the pain has moved into my right arse cheek.  I'm OK all the time I'm moving or still; it's getting up that hurts it. I managed to wangle a day at the microscope which was probably as much sitting still as is possible to do.

And at tea break in a novel break with tradition I had some of the hot chocolate. It was rather nicer than the coffee. I would have that more often... if it weren't about ten times the calories of a cup of coffee.

 

Being on an early I escaped early. Not early enough to do a tip run, but early enough to take a circuitous route home via Rolvenden’s World of Water where were having a sale. I got a half-price aerator pump, and a third-price grass carp. As long as the pump works and Morgan doesn’t eat the little fish, this will be a bargain.

 

And “er indoors ^TM” got a new bird feeder. Apparently this one doesn’t scatter seed everywhere… for the simple reason that the birds are terrified of it and are yet to actually feed from it.

14 May 2026 (Thursday) - Back Still Hurts

That dog (someone else’s) was barking up the street again at five o’clock this morning, and once I’d nodded off again so “er indoors ^TM”’s alarm went off… even though she wasn’t going in to the office today.

I made toast and looked at the Internet as I do most mornings. This morning there was no end of bickering about Cranbrook of all places. Some landscape gardeners and a café down the place’s high street were coming in for a *lot* of criticism this morning. Both allegedly owed customers money… I suppose that seeing how going to court costs so much, naming and shaming is the only option open to most people; even though this presupposes that the accused have done anything to be named and shamed about.

I Munzed, and Wordled. Starting with “today” I eventually got “waver” on the last attempt.

 

I took the dogs up to the woods. As we drove the pundits on the radio were talking about how Angela Rayner has got her tax issues sorted and so can now make a bid for leadership of the Labour party. The Health Secretary is supposed to standing as a candidate, and there’s talk about Andy Burnham (the head honcho in Manchester) standing as well… if only he could get into parliament in the next few days.

We got to the woods where it was rather cold, but after a mile or so the sun came out. We walked about five and a half uneventful miles; just how I liked it. Mind you, again my watch and my phone disagreed on the exact distance. I wonder why they are always so much adrift; it’s not as though one or other of them takes a short cut.

Bailey did manage a roll in a turd at the last minute, so when we came home she had a bath.

 

I made us both a cuppa and got us both an Aldi kit-kat, then went out to the garden. I got about a quarter of the lawn mowed before the torrential rain hit. So much for mowing for today.

I put a load of washing in to scrub, then tried to renew my works car parking permit. Nothing is ever easy, it it? I marked eight pieces of trainee’s portfolio work.

And seeing the rain had stopped I went back outside to the garden.

 

I checked the fuse in the pressure washer. A new one made no difference; it remained poggered.

I got the poggered aerator pump out of the pond. That was easy enough. Getting the cable out took some doing as I’d buried it quite comprehensively. I had to shift quite a bit of the rockery and shingle, and my back wasn’t all that good to begin with.

I’ve now got to get rid of the pressure-washer and the aerator pump. I had a vague hope I could go to the tip at Tunbridge Wells after work tomorrow, but the tip closes at about the time I’d be finishing the early shift. That’s a nuisance.

I spent much of the afternoon sitting in front of the telly resting my poor back. In between resting I loaded and unloaded the washing machine and hung out shirts and jim-jams, and scrubbed and tumble-dried undercrackers. And I spent a little while sorting out yet another geocaching Adventure Lab series. I’d got another credit and so did another “Lost Pubs of Ashford” series. I’d actually got it all prepared some time ago, so the hard work part was already done. If you fancy having a go at it, just scan the 2-D barcode above.

 

“er indoors ^TM” sorted burgers and chips which we scoffed whilst watching last night’s episode of “Race Across the World”. I’m thinking I wouldn’t mind a trip to Mongolia. If only I wouldn’t miss the dogs so much…

13 May 2026 (Wednesday) - Gardening

I slept well, but again the dog that walks up our road at five o clock had another barking fit.

I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet. It was still there and was much the same as ever. Squabbles and trivia abounded as it does. The Prime Minister was facing ever more pressure to jack it all in for no reason that anyone could actually explain. I saw our local MP had expressed solidarity with the Prime Minister though. I was surprised at that. I was surprised that he actually took a stand one way or the other. I’ve mentioned before that having a Labour MP has turned out to be something of a disappointment.

 

I took the dogs up to the woods. With normal people dawdling at a snail’s pace along the path we usually take into the woods we took another one today, and walked a rather different route to our usual one. We met a couple of other dog walkers as we went, but each encounter passed off amicably (as it should). No one chased anything, no one rolled in anything. It was all rather uneventful which was probably for the best.

Just as we got home so the heavens opened.

 

I made us both a cuppa which we had with a “choco-break”. Have you ever had a “choco-break”? You can get them from Aldi – they are like a kit-kat but made from far better chocolate and are about half the price.

(£1.25 compared to £2.20).

 

And with the rain having stopped I cracked on in the garden. I stripped out all the stuff between the bathroom and the shed. There was quite a bit of stuff I could use to attempt to bodge the bottom of the fence between our garden and not-so-nice-next-door. I swept up, squirted round with the rat deterrent, and then the heavens opened again. I came in, Munzed and Wordled. “Again” gave me nothing, as did “slept”. With a third of my goes gone and not a single letter I scratched my head. “Brock” gave me an “o” even if it was in the wrong place. “Mommy” gave me two letters in the right place, and I got it on the fifth go with “dowdy”.

 

The rain stopped so I went back out. Leaving out the bits that might be useful I put the rest of the tat back between the bathroom and shed, and then started on the main business of the day. I stripped out all the tat outside the kitchen window and all the flower boxes. I shifted the old chewed sleeper blocks, swept and brushed, and got the new bricks and planks into place. And with the flower tubs back onto the new planking I got the pressure-washer out to give it all a good scrubbing.

The pressure washer was poggered.

I can remember it being problematical in the past, but in the past it always started working after I gave it a good clout. I gave it several good clouts but to no avail. Ho hum…

I did the best I could with a hose pipe and a yard brush.

Whilst I was at it I lifted the drain cover to have a look-see. The water level was higher than it might have been, and as I watched so a nappy floated by. I always though there were rules about what you chucked down a chodbin?

 

I then had a look at the pond. Yesterday “er indoors ^TM” spotted that the pond’s aerator pump had had it. I fiddled with it and changed the fuse, but it wasn’t having any of it. I could have taken the thing apart but the rain was starting again so I gave up, came in and watched a couple of episodes of “The Handmaid’s Tale”.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a decent chili which went down with a bottle of the red stuff as we watched another couple of episodes of “The Orville”. I’ve been re-reading my diaries of nine years ago when I first saw the show and I was rather disparaging about it. I can’t remember the episodes at all, but they are rather good… this time round.

12 May 2026 (Tuesday) - Before The Late Shift

 

There are several people who walk their dogs at five o’clock in the morning. There’s one dog which regularly comes up our road far too early barking like a thing possessed. It was that one which woke me this morning. I tried to get back to sleep, and dozed on and off until half past seven.

 

I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet. It was still there. The usual political arguing was completely missing from my Facebook feed this morning. Instead I had loads of postings for groups offering support to people with various bone marrow cancers, and quite a bit of “repent sinner!” bollox. As a lapsed Christian (I was once a Steward in the Methodist church), the entire Christian theology doesn’t stand up to any thought at all. *If* Jesus has already died in payment for my sins, why should I be up for eternal damnation? However I will make the observation that it is pointless to ask this question on a Facebook forum.

 

I Munzed, getting two Rover treats as I did, and took the dogs to the woods. Being pushed for time we went to Orlestone. There was a weird man in the car park. He seemed really creepy as he tried to stroke the dogs; I called them away.

We had a mostly good walk. It was a shame that Bailey ran amok, but she does that.

Yesterday we walked nearly seven miles; today it was just a shade over two.

 

We came home where “er indoors ^TM” was making herself a cuppa. She did me one, and then I cracked on in the garden. Yesterday I got three hypersonic rat deterrents (as they came in packs of three); overnight I had a stroke of genius as to where I might position one of them. And I got another coat of paint on my planks. I harvested a bumper crop of dog dung, and had a little look at the area round the plant pots vaguely planning for tomorrow.

I Wordled. Starting with “plank” I made rather hard work of it going through “cluck” and “click” before getting “clock” on the fourth attempt.

 

I set off to the late shift… and that was effectively it for the day. So often when on the late shift the day is done by the late morning.

11 May 2026 (Monday) - A Walk, An FTF, Some Shopping

I slept rather better than I have done recently, but was still awake earlier than I wanted to be. I got up. My back was hurting, but I got up easier than I did on the last couple of days.

I made toast and had a look at the Internet. It was still there. People were squabbling about last week’s elections… every squabble showed that the squabblers had no idea of the issues that they’d been voting about.

People were squabbling about religion.

People were squabbling about ponds, dogs, geocaching… pretty much everything about which it would be possible to squabble.

I sighed… I look at social media to see what colleagues, friends and family have been doing with their lives, not to watch people I’ve never met quarrelling with people they will never meet.

 

I Munzed, opening two qrates. I Wordled from “argue” through “event”, “coney” and “neddy” to come up with “newly” on the fifth attempt. And I took the dogs up to the woods. When the schools are open I need to leave home either before half past seven or after nine o’clock so I don’t get stuck in traffic. I got out of town easily enough this morning but the traffic coming into Ashford was backed up a mile or so up the A251 to the woods.

As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about how the Prime Minister’s days might be numbered, and whether he goes will be entirely down to some speech he is going to make. Surely he should be judged on what he does rather than what he says? This is why that idiot Boris Johnson survived so long. No one noticed how crap he was at actually doing the job; he was entertaining to listen to, and for most people that is all that counts.

And there was an interview with the ex-chairman of the league of A&E doctors (or whatever their club is called) who was saying how nice it would be to have one NHS-wide computer… I remember the debacle when that was tried last time…

We got to the woods and had a frankly epic walk of either six and three quarter miles or seven and one quarter miles, depending on whether you listen to my phone or my watch. But apart from a mild altercation with a Dalmatian the walk passed off pretty much entirely without incident.

 

We came home to find that “er indoors ^TM” was off on an errand with “Daddies’ Little Angel ^TM”. I told the Alexa to play “relaxing music for dogs” and I cracked on in the garden. I got another coat of paint on my planks, topped up the ponds and water features, bionically burned the weeds and topped up the bird feeder.

“er indoors ^TM” then came home and I made us a cuppa… then remembered I’d left the hose running topping up the big water feature… Woops.

I also saw a new geocache had gone live this morning near Lydd, and it hadn’t been found. I turned off the hose, and hopped into the car.

 

It didn’t take long to get to a lay-by on the road into Lydd, and after a quick search I spotted the geocache. I opened it up. The logsheet was blank… I was the first one to find it. Result ! That’s three hundred and one geocaches I’ve been first to find – I’ve got a list.

As I drove home so the rain started, so it was probably the best time to go shopping. I went to the garden centre at Hamstreet. Did they have anything that would get rid of rats in the garden? Yes. Did they have anything that would get rid of rats in the garden that *wouldn’t* kill the dogs? That got a blank stare… I got the impression that in the war against rats, killing the dogs would just be collateral damage.

I tried the new garden centre in the Home Bargains shop. It was closed; staff were turning customers away as the place had a power cut.

I tried Dobbies. They were helpful. As well as poisoning everything they had humane traps. The trouble with a humane trap is what do you do with what you’ve humanely captured? The nice lady suggested drowning the rats in a bucket of water (she really did!).

I went to Bybrook Barn where they had some ultrasonic rat deterrents. They were five times the price of the ones on Amazon, but had the advantage that you can plug them into a UK power socket. I’d rather scare the rats away than have to kill them.

Strangely the dogs don’t seen to deter them very much.

 

I came home. I plugged one of the ultrasonic thingies in the socket in the shed. I really need to figure out how to set one up in the garden. And I had a look at the gusher water feature. It is certainly running better now I’ve topped it up. I’ll wind the hose in tomorrow – the rain might have dried off of it by then. I’ll give the planks another coat of paint then as well – hopefully they will have dried too.

I made us both a cuppa and we had the last of the cake. Yesterday I said it was ginger cake. It wasn’t. It was golden syrup cake, and there’s no ginger in the ingredients. So why did I think it was ginger cake?

I wrote up some CPD and tried to get up quietly, but it was no good. Treacle was watching me like a hawk. She knew it was time to “FEED THE FISH”.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up dinner then went bowling. I settled on the sofa and started watching something new. “The Handmaid’s Tale” (on Amazon Prime). I’m two episodes in; so far, so good…

 

My back’s still giving me grief… I can sit still or I can walk about. It’s getting up and getting down that hurts…

10 May 2026 (Sunday) - A Quiet Day

As I peered into Facebook as I scoffed my toast I saw a posting from an old friend who is currently living in Australia. He was getting nostalgic and was hoping someone might organise a reunion of his old school-mates. It would be good, but the trouble with a reunion is that in the intervening years a *lot* of people have moved away and getting everyone back together would be problematical at best. Take our old gang from the Boys Brigade. The turn-out at our old leader’s funeral was a tad disappointing (frankly piss-poor) bearing in mind how many people I contacted, but I contacted people who’d since gone to live in Bournemouth, Minehead, Sweden, Scotland, Tonbridge...

Or take my old school class. A couple of months ago one of our number was back in Hastings (from Canada). Three of us met up. Others had since moved to St Albans, Colchester, Australia, USA…

 

I checked my emails… three new geocaches had gone live locally. It would have been nice to see if I could get First to Find on one of them… but the same chap who gets all the FTFs had flown round and done the lot in less than an hour after they went live. I would have gone out hoping to get one and to leave the other two for others. But that’s just me.

 

I sulked as I had a little look at the flower pots in the garden and had a measure-up, then Munzed. Our Guild (we’re not a Clan any more!) had reached the first of our monthly targets. I Wordled from “waste” through “paddy” and “parch” to “parka”. I don’t think it could have been anything else.

 

We then took the dogs out. “er indoors ^TM” had some maintenance to do on a couple of her geocaches, and with that done we carried on to Orlestone where we walked the dogs round. Being mid-day I hoped that the normal people would all be having their lunch, and for the most part they all were. We only saw one other person and that was almost at the car park.

I took a few photos as we walked.

 

We came home… and I remembered that I’d meant to go to Wickes whilst we were out. So leaving “er indoors ^TM” with the dogs I went shopping. A week or so ago we had a rat problem, and looking at the aftermath it would seem that they’d hollowed out the sleepers that I’d used to edge the garden. They’d gnawed in and chewed away the softer wood, and left the knots in place. I had intended to replace those sleepers, but it struck me that was just making a new home for them. So I got a couple of planks of decking which will stand on bricks. Being open means there will be nowhere for the poor rats to make nests. I do feel sorry for them… but they can go nest elsewhere.

Again this was one of those things that was far easier to type than to do.  Driving over to Wickes, getting what I needed, bringing it home and giving the planks a first coat of paint took two hours.

 

We did “FEED THE FISH”, we had a cuppa and some ginger cake. With my back giving me some serious grief I sat down and spent a little while updating my geocaching databases for Kings Wood. A few weeks ago I found another sink hole up there. That’s twenty-eight in those woods. And I included the Wherigo I created last week into the database as well.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching more episodes of “The Orville”.

Today has been a tad dull… and my back is still rather painful…

9 May 2026 (Saturday) - Early Shift

I had something of an early night but woke at ten to two and then just dozed on and off until finally giving up and trying to get up at half past four. “Trying” being the operative phrase… whatever damage I’d done doing the heavy lifting hadn’t got any better overnight.

 

I watched the last episode of “The Man In The High Castle” as I scoffed brekkie. It was a shame that having been a really good show I had to go onto the Internet to find out what the ending was all about. And whilst I was there I had a look at the Internet. Nothing was happening at half past five so I gingerly got up and took little while getting ready for work.

 

I hobbled out to the car and set off west-wards through the -hursts and the -dens. It was too early for the weekend news on the radio. Instead there was some utter tripe about the restoration of some heathland. What would have made rather good viewing on the telly made for rather rubbish listening on the radio. There's only so much description and being told to look at the pictures on the website that I can stand.

I switched over to my MP3 stick and sang along to Ivor Biggun.

 

I stopped off in Pembury's Tesco for lunch. Had I been at Maidstone today I would have tried the works canteen, but the Pembury one isn’t the same.

Tesco’s meal-deal looked good today - a barbecue chicken salad rather than a sandwich. When I came to pay, the self-service machine wanted the thick end of a tenner, and when I complained the poor little boy in the Tesco costume ran off to fetch his boss. There was quite the discussion amongst various members of staff as they tried to decide who it was that would have to tell me that what I wanted wasn't in the meal deal.

Am I that scary?

The chap who drew the short straw was adamant that the thing wasn't in the meal deal, and was not impressed when I pointed out the sign that said it was. He breathed an obvious sigh of relief when I said that I'd have the coronation chicken sandwich instead, but seemed utterly disinterested in removing the clearly wrong sign.

 

I went in to the early shift where I sulked. Saturday morning is usually Steve on the radio doing the "Guess the Lyrics" then Dog Club followed by Steve on the radio doing the Mystery Year. I missed all of that today.

But an early start made for an early finish. I came home to three dogs who were incredibly excited to see me. We did “FEED THE FISH” and they were then asleep within a couple of minutes.

 

I had a cuppa and counted the takings from Dog Club. We ask for a donation of one pound fifty per dog… there was twenty-seven quid and seventeen pence in the pot. What was that all about?

 

Chris arrived, and we spent a little while in the garden talking water features. Chris is keen to get one, but there’s more to them than just pretty splashy things. Ones at ground level look very nice but unearthing the pump for maintenance can be hard work. Splashy ones look pretty but soon empty the reservoir.

Steve and Sarah joined us, and we had a rather good evening on the Infinity Table. A game of “Game of Life” and a game of “Sorry” in both of which I didn’t quite come last.

And then a game of “Ticket to Ride” in which I had a plan, and I amazed myself at just how well that plan worked…

 

My back still hurts…

8 May 2026 (Friday) - Done My Back

With no reason to be up early I was awake far too early and lay wide awake for far too long. I eventually got up at half past seven with backache.

 

I made toast and had a look at the Internet. Bearing in mind there had been local elections pretty much everywhere in the country except in Kent yesterday, there wasn’t that much political talk on social media. That which was there rather showed the futility of democracy. With only four out of ten people having voted, Reform UK had done well. But sadly people cheering for them had been (and still were) cheering them on in much the same way that they would cheer on their favourite football team. And people were looking forward to Nigel Farage taking over as Prime Minister clearly utterly unaware of the difference between local and national governments.

Hundreds of new councilors who claimed that they will stop the boats are now supposedly going to sort out potholes, bins and adult social care.

I was rather amazed to hear the deputy leader of Reform UK on the radio claiming that the election was a “complete rejection of the Labour and Conservative parties” when so many Reform UK candidates were standing as Conservative last time. A good example of this was Robert Jenrick  who was being interviewed on the radio as I drove the dogs up to the woods. The fellow is currently a Reform UK MP and he spent quite a bit of time rubbishing the previous Conservative government… in which he was a cabinet member.

Democracy, eh?

 

We got to the woods and had a mostly good walk. There was a minor episode when Morgan got a tad over-excited when chasing a small spaniel. The bloke with the spaniel was all for the excitement and said his dog needed to be told off by other dogs. I said I’m all for other dogs chasing his dog, but not Morgan who needs to learn not to get so over-excited.

My bird identifying app detected a great crested flycatcher. I thought that was rather clever of it bearing in mind that you don’t get those in the UK.

As we walked I saw a herd of a dozen deer. Amazingly the dogs didn’t see them, even though they were only about thirty yards from us.

 

We came home. I made us both a cuppa which we had with a bit of Swiss roll. I then Wordled from “early” through “ramin”, “charm” and “smart” to get “umbra” (stupid word) on the fifth attempt. I then cracked on in the garden. I cleaned out the pump in the small pond, then had a look at the pumps in the big pond that supply the pressure filter. I had an idea that their nozzles might be full of fish turds. They weren’t but one of them had a loose fitting. I sorted that, cleaned out the pressure filter and reassembled. The water flow has definitely improved.

I then shifted the pedestal that “My Boy ^TM” gave me a couple of weeks ago. I moved it maybe twenty yards and put one of the Easter Island heads on it. So easy to type: I nearly knacked myself doing it. It felt as though I might have pulled something in my hip and leg.

 

I put a load of washing in to scrub, read my Kindle for a bit, then set about the ironing as I watched two more episodes of “The Man In The High Castle” in which the plot has taken a very unexpected twist.

We did “FEED THE FISH”, I wrote up some CPD, I stood up and immediately collapsed; I’d definitely pulled something in my hip and leg. I stood up a tad more carefully and I got up. My trouble is that I don’t “stand up”; I leap up as though I was a child. I should carefully get up slowly as though I was the pensioner that I actually am. Getting old is sad.

 

We listened to Heart Radio for a bit – “er indoors ^TM” had entered their prize draw. I was all for turning it off when she didn’t win the seven hundred thousand pounds prize. But we listened to the excitement of the girl who’d won it, and I remembered Joyce. Joyce was one of the waitresses who worked with me at the Harbour Restaurant in Hastings in 1980. She won the Sun (newspaper) bingo and immediately and publicly told the boss just how far he could stick the waitressing job up his chuff. She bought a new house, and a new car, and took the family on holiday… and was back at the Harbour Restaurant in less than a month grovelling for her old job back. It didn’t take her long to spend far more than she’d won.

Blowing money is easy, no matter how much money you have.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching another couple of episodes of “The Orville”.

I’m going to have an early night… I’ve got an early start tomorrow so I will be wide awake from two o’clock. Maybe going to bed early means I might get more shut-eye before I wake…