18 January 2016 (Monday) - Bill and Wombles

Every night as I sleep I have air blasted into me from my CPAP machine. It takes the device a few minutes to settle and get the pressure right when it starts; as it does so I read my Kindle app. Last night I finished an e-book. The first volume of Alexei Sayle's autobiography made for very interesting reading even if it did only cover his childhood. I'm looking forward to the next volume which is to be published in a few months time.

Over brekkie I wondered what book I might read next.

Six years ago I published a list of my top twenty books. It is a list I might re-visit. Over the years I have read all of these books so many times. However until now one has not been available in e-format. But this morning I found it on Amazon. I can remember really enjoying "Earth Abides"; let's hope it is as good as I remember it.

As I drove to work the pundits on the radio were quoting some rather amazing statistics. Apparently some twenty per cent of British Muslim women don't speak English. Whilst this isn't news (I blogged about it on 12 February 2007) surely this is a problem which should be addressed. The pundits then wheeled on someone from the bleeding heart brigade who ranted for a few minutes about how inaccurate these figures are. He claimed the actual number of British Muslim women who don't speak English is closer to six per cent. But what ever the actual number the fact remains that there are thousands of women in this country who don't speak the language. Surely that can't be right.

I stopped off at Morrisons this morning. Having been driving through the most beautiful of sunrises this morning I had a plan to take a photo of the glorious red sky from Morrisons car park. By the time I'd got to Canterbury the sky had lost its wonderful colours and was just rather grey and drab.

I got fruit for the week; I also got various toiletries. (Sometimes my life can be so exciting). Mind you I was rather amazed at the price of shaving gel. The posh stuff from Gilette retails at £3.86, the same amount of Morrison's own-brand stuff costs eighty seven pence.

I wonder exactly who it is that buys the Gillette stuff?

I got to work where there was minor excitement. Today we got to log on to the works free wi-fi for our own personal use. It is a little perk which will be available all the time it is not abused.

We spent a little while speculating on what constitutes abuse of a wi-fi system. One of the more senior members of staff (who really should know better) assured us that the works wi-fi was good for most things but womble porn would be crossing the line.

No one was brave enough to try to look up womble porn to test that hypothesis.

Once home I ran the dogs round the world and then had a look on-line. There is a meme going round at the moment about being like Bill. A growing number of people are getting quite upset with Bill. Personally I don't mind the chap. But if we are getting rid of things from social media I'd rather see a few less hashtags.

I then settled myself in front of the telly. Gotham is on later...

17 January 2016 (Sunday) - Lazy Day

One of the many depressing things about getting older is the increasing need for trips to the loo in the middle of the night. Until we got our most recent house guest I wouldn't turn on any of the lights in the house as I made my way to "Trap One"; now I dare not walk in the dark. I was right to turn the lights on last night; there was a turd right in the way. Whilst I can't be sure which of the wolf pack dropped it I have my suspicions.

I couldn't get back to sleep after that. Despite my CPAP machine's best efforts I couldn't breathe, and I lay awake until 6.30am when "er indoors ^TM"s alarm went off. She was on an away-day with the candle-mongers and I got up shortly after she did. At least when being up I could actually breathe.

Over brekkie I read an article on the South Ashford Community Forum Facebook group. There are plans afoot to develop some local wasteland. This will involve building over six hundred new homes and some shops and a parking area and stuff. The plans are to build on land which has been left derelict for over ten years. It is a good plan too breathe new life into an eyesore.

However there are objections from locals. Victoria Road School is not that far away, and some people really do seem to think that building homes in the general area of a school will attract paedophiles. So (according to these stupid people) the obvious answer to this potential problem is not to put windows on the sides of these buildings that face the school.

You really couldn’t make this up. Many of the children who go to this school walk past my house in the morning. Presumably I should keep the curtains pulled until 9am in case I see a child and am gripped by unholy urges?

"Daddies Little Angel ^TM" and "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction ^TM" came round. We drove down to Tenterden for a little walk. Normally on a Sunday I would go for a really big walk, but a combination of "er indoors ^TM" being off doing her thing and a *really* cold day made me opt for something of a lazy day today. We needed to walk the dogs, so I though once up and down Tenterden High Street would fit the bill. As we walked "Daddies Little Angel ^TM" ranted about the futility of fish as pets, and we went into "The Secret Pantry" for coffee and cake.

They gave us some warm milk for "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction ^TM; I'm not quite sure how he managed it but he nearly drowned in the stuff. Whilst our coffee was acceptable, the cake was rather crap. Neither of us was sure what flavour it was supposed to be. But we were sure that whatever flavour the cake was supposed to be, it didn't taste of it. Two slices of rather rubbish cake and a nearly drowned baby cost over eight quid. I shan't be going there again.

As we walked I found one geocache (today was a calendar day) and failed to find two others. "Daddies Little Angel ^TM" claimed she saw snow flakes; I didn't but it was certainly cold enough for them.

We came home, and being "home alone" I got myself some KFC as a treat and (having devoured it) fell asleep in front of the telly for much of the afternoon; waking only to deal with the demands of the washing machine and dishwasher. "You Only Live Twice" gave way to "Bicentennial Man" and was followed by "War and Peace"; I slept through the lot.

Much as I quite liked my lazy day I couldn't do it that often - I'd go stir crazy.

16 January 2016 (Saturday) - Geo-Meet

I felt decidedly grim as I scoffed my toast this morning. Can't imagine why !

My little dog seemed to realise that I was under the weather; he sat with me and generally looked soppy. As I scoffed I found myself reflecting on Trev's retirement yesterday. When I started working for the NHS (all those years ago) I was told very clearly that if I joined the pension scheme I could retire on full pension (i.e. half pay) after forty years service. That would be on 14 September 2021 which now isn't that far away.

A week or so later I was told that a mistake had been made; I wouldn't actually start paying pension until my eighteenth birthday and so retirement was put back until 21 February 2022.

Having spent several year planning to retire when I would be fifty-eight I was rather miffed to find that somewhere along the way one or other government had changed the rules and I wouldn't get a full pension until I was sixty. I whinged to the pension office and was told in no uncertan terms that I had effectively been done out of two years of pension contributions, and to suck it up.

So I stopped whinging and sucked it up.

The rules have changed again. I dare not consult them.I suspect that far from only having six years to go (which was what was promised) I probably have closer to fifteen years of working left to do. I hope that is not the case.

I *really* should start looking into the matter.

As I sat feeling sorry for myself I had an email. There is a geo-puzzle which has had me foxed for a few days. I won't say which one it is but I will say that I had figured out that the puzzle was about the Spice Girls and Geri Halliwell. With this in mind I spent hours struggling with their birthdays and chart positions of their records but had been unable to solve the puzzle. So a day or so ago I did the only thing which was left open to me. I looked at the list of people who had found that geocache and emailed the one who I thought was most likely to take pity on me.

It turns out that the puzzle wasn't about the Spice Girls at all; it was about telephones. Sometimes I hate trying to solve cryptic puzzles.

"er indoors ^TM" and I then drove out to Wingham for the monthly meeting of the Kent chapter of the Hunters of Tupperware. It was good to meet up with friends, but I must admit that the attendance was perhaps a little less than it might have been. But we had a rather good spot of lunch, and a good chat with friends. And after the walk we had a little stroll round the village. It was a good afternoon for a walk; even if it was a little cold.

We came home via the hospital to collect my car; I'd left it there last night. Once home we took the dogs round the park. Again it was still a good afternoon for a walk, but again it was cold.

"er indoors ^TM" set off to whatever it is that she was doing this evening, and I ironed shirts then settled down in front of the telly with my wolf pack. Rather a dull Saturday night, but after a hectic night last night and a rather busy day today I felt that I needed a rest...

15 January 2016 (Friday) - A Retirement

The morning's haul of emails brough one from LinkedIn asking of I knew Callum Moffatt, Julie Hayes or Suzanne Foreman. The simple answer is "No". LinkedIn is rubbish. Supposedly about professional networking, I find it tries to connect me with people I don't know, and on that website people I barely know are commending me for skills I don't have.

As I drove to work there were some amazing figures being banded about on the radio. It is no secret that should I get squished in a car crash or some other such tragedy then I would like any and all salvageable organs to be offered up for transplants to anyone who might use them. Thousands of other people feel the same way and have registered such an intention. However forty per cent of such people don't have their wishes honoured. It turns out that their grieving families say no to allowing organs to be used. Over a thousand organs that could be used are wasted every year in this way.

If my nearest and dearest refuse any of my bits to be used (should I get scrunched) I will come back and haunt them!!

And then the Minister for Health was interviewed on the radio. He was outlining the changes he would like to see in the NHS. One of the changes he would like would be for hospital doctors to be able to get urgent blood tests done at the weekend.

My piss boiled.

What does he think I do for a living? I was under the impression that I was already providing that service when I work weekends... I can only imagine that he doesn't realise that this is already happening. And presumably he is making policy decisions being utterly oblivious of what is actually happening in hospitals.... I find that a little worrying.

I got to work, we all speculated about not having to work weekends any more, and then had something of a sad day. A colleague was retiring today.

Trev's been really great to work with, and today was the last day.

After work there was a meal in his honour. Everyone else went home first, but I didn't. I had a little bus adventure into Canterbury. I thought one pound fifty was a tad steep for a minute's ride but it was fun. I found a little back street pub where I had a pint of stout whilst checking theplace out for a future pub crawl. The New Inn was quite a good place to visit; might just go back.

I then made my way to the meeting place; as I walked I found a pub call the the Jolly Sailor which claimed to be an ale house. It lied. It was a lager house. So I walked on to Parrots where I met someone with whom I'd worked five years ago. We had a drink, then another, then more old friends arrived.

As usual it was too late when I realised the mistake of having had three pints of stout before everyone else gets to the pub, but I certainly had a good evening. I think Trev did too...

I even took a few photos whilst I was out and about. Some are a bit blurred; just like my memories of the evening.

14 January 2016 (Thursday) - Coffee and Cake

I didn't sleep well last night. I was awake for an hour or so in the small hours listening to the torrential rain. I finally dozed off only to be plagued by nightmares in which the kite-flying fraternity had declared war on the geocachers. It was all rather nasty and the Prime Minister had asked me to intervene because I have something of a foot in both camps. However both sides saw me as a traitor and it was with some releif that I was woken by a nuisance phone call just after 7am.

This call was from a new number; 001019, and when I answered it no one was on the other end. I say this was a "new" number; it is new to me. The number was well known on the "report your nuisance phone calls" web sites. I keep being told about how I can avoid these calls but it doesn't seem to matter what I do, someone from India always seems to be bothering my phone.

I took the dogs round the corner to where "Daddies Little Angel ^TM" and "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction ^TM" are now living. And having collected them we went for a rather uneventful walk round the park. There is no denying I was hoping to see the (nearly) nudey jogger we encountered yesterday. She was nowhere to be seen, Probably suffering from hypothermia and frostbite I expect.

As I drove to work there was an article on the radio about the Cassini probe which is currently orbiting Saturn. Perhaps because I know a thing or two about space my expectations of the show were a little higher than the might have been. But anything space-related on the radio or the telly always seems to be very dumb-ed down to me. This show could have been so much better - did the presenter *really* think Saturn has a rocky surface?

I was taking a rather round-the-houses route to work today as I needed to find at least one geocache for this calendar thingy. I had my sights set on one in Sellindge; I eventually found it buried under some mud. Something had churned up the ground nearby.

I then drove on listening to an interview with the partner of Ricky Gervais. She was quite an interesting woman. The interview ended just as I was approaching a garden centre so I popped in for coffee and cake. there is something quite therapeutic in sitting alone in a garden centre cafe with a cuppa watching the world go by.

Whilst I was there I got myself a rubber duck. I needed a duck for geocachical purposes. I also need a brick too. I shall try to blag one from somewhere.

I got to work a little earlier than I needed to, and having driven round a very full cark park several times I eventually found an empty spot in which I parked my car. The only empty spot. Having parked I sat and listened to the radio for a few minutes until my peace was rudely interrupted by some silly old sod (wearing a rather stupid hat). He demanded that I drove away; if I was only going to sit in my car I could sit anywhere; he wanted to park his car.

I politely pointed out that I was in the staff parking area and in order to get there he had driven past two signs saying "Staff Only". He rudely announced that he wasn't going to pay to use the public car park when he could park for free in the staff car park, and bustled off threatening to report me for parking my car in a car park for which I pay to park.

I hope he doesn't report me; I know that if he does I will be in the wrong for parking my car in a car park for which I pay to park.

And so the excitement of my day was all over by 11.30am. All things considered another dull day really...

13 January 2016 (Wednesday) - Bit Dull

I slept for eight hours before finally waking to find that not only were my guts still tender but the tennis elbow seems to have returned.

Over brekkie I had a look-see on-line. Little had happened overnight, and perhaps the only thing of note was a hint I'd received about a geo-puzzle which has had me foxed for some time. Mind you one of the disadvantages of email and soicial media and instant communication is the amount of spam emails and adverts with which we find ourselves bombarded. In years gone by I used to get adverts about the services offered by ladies of dubious morals. Just recently I seem to be getting more and more adverts for church management software solutions.

Why on Earth would I want to buy a church management software solution?

As I scoffed my toast a new posting popped up on my laptop screen. A chap I met through geocaching had been out doing a little astro-photography. I suggested he might be interested in joining the astro club. He had no idea that one existed locally and was immediately keen on the idea.

The astro club makes quite a bit of effort to advertise its existance, and still we aren't getting to the people who would want to join.

I also saw that today was National Rubber Ducky Day. Rubber ducky day.... who makes these things up? And how much do they get paid for doing so?

Having a little time on my hands I hought I might take the dogs for a walk. Fudge was raring to go; Sid ran and hid. But they both went round the park with me. As we walked we heard woodpeckers; rather early in the year for woodpeckers I thought. We also heard what I can only describe as a large dog losing a fight with a duck; there was very loud pitiful barking and whining and very aggressive quacking. I decided against walking in the direction from where that sound was emanating.

We also saw joggers. Some were typical joggers; one caught my eye. this young lady had the most skimpiest skin-tight lycra jogging bikini and might was well have been running stark naked for all that it covered. I would have thought that such attire was a little chilly for this time of year, but it brightened up an otherwise dull morning.

The rest of the day was rather dull in comparison...

12 January 2016 (Tuesday) - Guts Ache

A good night's sleep; waking only a minute or so before the alarm. I got up to find that overnight a whole load of laundry had arrived in the basket from "Daddies Little Angel ^TM" and "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction ^TM" so I set that to scrub as I watched the latest drivel I've recorded on the SkyPlus box. Twenty years ago "Sorry !" (starring Ronnie Corbett) was hilarious. It hasn't really stood the test of time.

As I watched telly and scoffed brekkie I was conscious of the ongoing nagging pain in my stomach; I've not felt right for a week or so. I'm sure it is nothing that a good "quack" wouldn't cure, but it is uncomfortable.

And so to work, feeling rather uncomfortable. As I drove to work there was talk on the radio about opinion polls and how they generally seem not to be as reliable as one might hope. A good example of this was the last General Election in which the polls showed no difference in the public's opinion between the Labour and Conservative parties when in fact the majority had clearly been pro-Tory. There was concern expressed that opinion polls must be right for the democratic process to work. The pundits pointed out that there are a *lot* of people whose opinion actually depends on the result of the opinion poll. Having no opinion of their own, many people (lemming-like) go with what they think is the feeling of the majority. And these people feel cheated if it what they thought was the majority view turns out not to have been so. This sounds daft, but after every election I lose count of people who complain about having wasted their vote because they voted for a losing candidate. For many people expressing their own view is very much secondary to being seen to be on the winning side.

This *really* bothers me; not that I beleive in democracy, but I would have thought democracy was all about the Great Unwashed actually educating themselves and forming a considered opinion on the matters in question. But (as I often ask) what do I know? After all my opinion is usually that of a very small minority.

Perhaps I should try following the masses; I might get into less arguments.

Once at work I struggled to keep myself occupied; the junior doctors were all on strike today and consequently my reduced workload was something of a knock-on effect of said strike. With not much going on I spent much of the day complaining about my stomach ache to anyone who would listen. And as the day wore on the list of people who would listen grew shorter and shorter. If the doctors weren't all on strike I might have popped down to the emergency care centre and got myself told to take some guts ache tablets.

With little else on the agenda I looked at the leave diary and my shift patterns and booked some time off in May. Possibly a mid-week break, possibly some days out? Probably five days watching the telly and sulking. Who knows?

I came home (still feeling bloated) to find "er indoors ^TM" was already home. We took both dogs for a short walk then after a rather good bit of dinner Martin arrived and he and "er indoors ^TM" went off to the Tuesday gathering. I stayed at home this evening; ongoing guts ache had been tiring.

I slobbed in front of the telly and then I had a message. Last night I spent a couple of hours struggling to solve a geo-puzzle. After struggling to no avail I finally enlisted the help of friends. This evening the answer arrived. I had been on the right lines; I had all but solved the puzzle. However to get the final part of the correct answer it had been necessary to perform the sum 4+1+1. Despite (or because of) my degree in mathematics I had made the answer to be five. Woops.

As luck would have it, Stargazing Live was on BBC2 this evening. Not having been impressed with last year's efforts from the BBC the astro club had decided not to take part in this event this year. I was glad we hadn't; the show was utter tripe.

I'm off to bed now. My stomach still aches....