3 June 2018 (Sunday) - A Birthday


I rather ached when I woke at six o’clock this morning. I would have liked more sleep, but it wasn’t happening, so I spent a little while telling the world about what I’d done yesterday whilst the washing machine had a go at making my laundry once again presentable.
Once I’d got the second wash load on to the line to dry I got dressed and looked at the garden.

The heavy rain in the week had done wonders for the lawn or stuffed it right up (depending on your view on lawn mowing). So I edged the lawn and ran round with the mower. A much easier job now I’ve bodged the lawn mower’s dead man’s handle. And with the lawn mowed I then did something I’ve been threatening to do for some time. I stripped out the shed.
Several years ago I put some ultra-sonic rodent deterrent gizmo in the shed, and up until recently it has done very well. But it seems to have thrown in the sponge over the last few weeks and months. There has been a mouse problem in the shed. As I emptied stuff out it was clear they had been into my fishing ground-bait and moved the pellets about. They had put pellets of ground-bait all over the shed, in everything and on everything. And they had made a substantial nest in the cushion which went on the garden lounger which (ironically) I’d taken to the tip a few months ago.
Over the course of two hours I got all the stuff out of the shed, swept out chewed fishing bait and mouse turds, and had a rather substantial tidy-up. It is only when the shed is ransacked that you see exactly what rubbish you have in it. I had four tubs of ant powder. Three unopened garden strimmer lines. No end of clout nails. Unopened weed-proof membranes. The electric drill I’d lost and replaced. Countless rusty drill bits. I’ve got a boot-full of rubbish for the tip for tomorrow morning,

And then I re-packed the shed. Unlike before, the stuff I use frequently is to the front. So I am not reaching over all sorts of rubbish once a week to get the extension cable for the lawn mower. And the stuff I rarely use is to the back because I rarely use it. Logical, eh?
The shed’s curtain have had it… I wonder where I can get new ones?

Just as I was sorting out the last of it, the birthday girl arrived. She’d brought round a new inflatable paddling pool (as the mice had chewed a hole in the last one) and once the thing was up and running, she and "er indoors TM" supervised "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction TM"’s paddling. Sam and I sat in the sun and I had something of a Czech lager hour, then fell asleep for a couple of hours. I *hate* that – being asleep at six o’clock would have been good; being asleep for much of the afternoon was a nuisance. But I enjoyed that for which I managed to stay awake.
It was such a shame the new paddling pool sprung a leak after an hour or so…

With the family gone we had a rather good bit of scoff and "er indoors TM" went bowling as she does most Sundays.
I spent an hour or so ironing… I must love it.

2 June 2018 (Saturday) - Up on the Downs

I woke feeling full of energy and raring to go only to find it was twenty past two. I hate it when that happens. I dozed on and off until it was time to get up. Despite not having been as good on the diet as I might have been over this last week I’ve managed to drop another pound.
As I scoffed my morning toast, Treacle came marching round the living room carrying one of "er indoors TM" slippers and looking very pleased with herself. She made a point of showing me what she’d stole, then ran off hoping to be chased. When I didn’t give chase she came back to show me what she’d got. Again I took no notice until she came close enough for me to nab it from her. She’s a bit thick like that.

We got ourselves together and set off at seven o’clock. In retrospect this was a tad late; I didn’t realise just how far we had to go. But we made good time, and despite one near mishap we were soon at McDonalds in the back of beyond where we met our accomplices for the day. Overnight the Visa credit card network had failed, but fortunately it was fixed by this morning; civilization hadn’t collapsed and it was sausage and egg mcMuffins all round. My dogs like sausage and egg McMuffns.

We set off to an obscure lay-by somewhere on the South Downs. It was a shame that our Brighton pals weren’t along, but I’d seen during the week that Basingstoke kite festival was in full swing today.
We soon got ourselves organized, got our extending leads on (those of us that have extending leads, that is) and we set off on a rather epic walk.
As we walked we saw birds of prey, we saw squirrels and rabbits and even a slow worm. We even saw some rather sweet baby birds, and one of our number managed to get one of the chicks in her mouth.

After five miles we found a pub. “The Gun” in Findon had a rather nice beer garden, and with a selection of Ringwood ales on the pumps we stayed for possibly two more beers than perhaps we might have done. But it was a warm day, and we did need to re-hydrate and take on fluids. Personally I turn my nose up at re-hydrating and taking on fluids; preferring to have a drink instead, but in my world you tend to go with the flow.
From Findon we walked up a gentle incline to Cissbury Ring where we had a spot of lunch. We’d made good time in the morning, but after three pints of re-hydration we were slowing somewhat. Mind you Cissbury Ring is a pretty place to be. We took a little twenty-seven cache diversion here, and it was toward the end of this section (whilst climbing the steepest hill of the day) that we lost Fudge. I say “lost” after a fraught five minutes he turned up. He was only a few yards away, rolling on something disgusting in the long grass.

Geocache-wise today was a mixed day. Having chosen to do two different series of caches (hidden by different people) interspersed by all sorts of random other ones it couldn’t help but be mixed. Mind you, several were puzzles in that their location was calculated from distances and bearings from a given point, and some of those were only found by the given hints; the co-ordinates on some were a little awry.

The plan for the day had been to walk on into Steyning for dinner, then back to the cars, but time was against us. So we made our way back to the cars and drove to The Star in Steyning. We’d sheltered from the monsoon here only a few weeks ago, and today Karl treated us all to a sport of dinner. My chorizo burger and Eton mess were some of the best ones I’ve ever had.

We said our goodbyes and set off homewards. We’d had a *very* long day. We left home at seven o’clock in the morning; we got home at quarter to midnight.


1 June 2018 (Friday) - Calling Alan Tracey

Have you ever brushed your teeth with Corsodyl toothpaste? I did this morning. It was perhaps one of the most foul things I have ever tasted. How does this stuff keep going when it tastes so bad?
Over brekkie I watched an episode of “Thunderbirds are Go”. For all that it is obviously a children’s program it is very hit-and-miss, this morning’s show was “hit”. Especially when Thunderbird 3 ran out of fuel.

Working on the principle that the Internet doesn’t look at itself I had a quick rummage in cyberspace. Those who crave attention had been doing so on Facebook overnight as they regularly do. Cryptic postings abounded. I also had a friend request from a bloke wearing a dress. I am reliably informed that in this twenty-first century if a man wants to be a woman, then (s)he is perfectly entitled to pretend to be so, and that I am to go along with the pretense.
Perhaps I’m just a little too reactionary sometimes?

I had a few emails as well, and in a novel break with tradition I had a request to join my LinkedIn network from someone of whom I *have* heard. Welcome aboard Tracey – I’m sure you’ll find it a disappointment…
I also had an email telling me about another of the world’s top one per cent of geocachers. This person has hidden one traditional cache which was eventually archived by a reviewer (because they didn’t respond to the reviewer’s requests to replace it when it had been missing for months), and they have also hidden four Wherigo caches. I (on the other hand) am rather insulted that having contributed *far* more to the hobby I haven’t had so much as a “cheers” off of geo-HQ.
You’d think that after a year I would have let it drop, wouldn’t you?

As I drove to work I listened to the radio, Today the pundits were interviewing some woman. Claiming to be British, her house was in Luxembourg and she actually works here, there and thither all over Europe. Her professional future is uncertain after Brexit as a working visa for such an itinerant worker isn’t something that is looking very likely..
I would have thought the obvious answer for her would be to apply for citizenship of one or other of the European countries in which she works. However this didn't stop the producers of Radio Four wasting ten minutes of valuable air-time in making a mountain out of a mole-hill. Sometimes it amazes me how much time the people on the radio waste in trivia like this.
Meanwhile the theory that aliens are planning to take over the universe seems to be gaining ground.
Killer aliens isn't a new idea, is it? Mind you, it seems strange to me that it has taken so long for people to stop laughing at the idea, and to start being scared by it.
Perhaps Alan Tracey might sort them out for us…

I got to work and did that which I couldn't avoid. As I worked the dentist again texted me. They had a cancellation and did I fancy having an appointment at half past two this afternoon? Bearing in mind my next appointment isn't for a few weeks they seem to be getting just a little ahead of themselves.

Being on an early shift I left work with time to do a little shopping. I’ve plans to brew a job load of beer (like I have done in the past), but in the intervening years since I last made any, so many home-brew shops have closed down. I eventually located a home-brew shop in Faversham and parked as close to it as I could. It is a good job that I am happy to walk quite a distance; many people wouldn’t have bothered walking quite that far.

I got what I needed, and came home to walk the dogs. As we went round the park we met a young lady who had a screaming fit on seeing us. In between hysterical sobs and gulps she told me that she was terrified of dogs. I looked her up and down and said (without thinking) that she was being bloody stupid. From her reaction it was clear that no one had ever told her that before. And from her expression as she watched my hounds walking past I suspect she’d finally realised just how stupid she was.
Perhaps I might have been a tad more tactful; if I had she would still be terrified of dogs.

"er indoors TM" was off out at some Madonna tribute thingy this evening so I’d been left to forage. Me and the dogs had kebab and chips for tea (again). Bearing in mind it is national fish and chips day I was tempted by a bit of cod (aren’t we all?) but the kebab shop is closer to home and half the price.
Once I’d done the ironing I was ready for bed… I’ve just worked five days on the trot and I’m worn out. How do people do it all the time?