14 September 2009 (Monday) - Stuff

Last night I had words with the first fruit of my loin. He is on earlies this week. The phrases “quiet as a mouse” and “ninja stealth” were mentioned with reference to his getting up at silly o’ clock. This morning I was awoken at 5.30am by something which was not as “quiet as a mouse”, nor was it employing “ninja stealth”. Had last night’s conversation featured phrases such as “Krakatoa, east of Java” I might have been more impressed with his instruction following ability. This afternoon I think I found the cause of the noise. He’s dug out his old skateboard. Perhaps he’s skateboarding downstairs in the mornings?

Continuing with the weight loss campaign, I cycled to work. Where I spent the entire day sulking. I’m not really sure why. I stuck an idiot grin on my face, and tried to make the most of it, but my heart wasn’t in it today. On the plus side I managed to book another visit at the chokey, and it took less than two hours.

And then I cycled home again to find a letter from my doctor. Last week both the doctor and the foxy X-ray bird said I should phone the surgery in a week or so to get the result. Today I came home to a letter (dated last Thursday) asking me to make an appointment to discuss the X-Ray. At first sight, I thought this was somewhat ominous. So I phoned the surgery and they’ve given me an appointment for eight days hence. It can’t be that ominous.

13 September 2009 (Sunday) - Gardening, Shopping, Digging

I dare say most people would relish being woken by a woman whispering “Hey, sexy…” in dulcet tones. However, I rise above such base instincts (usually). Mostly because it was my phone telling me I had a text message. You can always tell people who have small children. They are always texting at silly o’clock on Sunday mornings. Oh well, he will regret that move – when he’s not looking, I shall set light to his dustbin. And I needed to get up anyway.

The reason we didn’t stay overnight at Sumner’s Ponds yesterday was that with “Daddies Little Angel ^TM ” being out for the night, I could clean out the pond filter without getting grief about using the bath. So that’s what I did. And then my morning continued in much the same gardening vein. Pond filter scrubbed and rebuilt, pond water topped up, lawn mowed, edges trimmed, next door’s overgrowth given a haircut, and more fish food bought.

Half way to Tenterden pond shop I nearly ran down a cyclist. And then another. Being a cyclist myself, other cyclists wind me up. Some roads lend themselves to bike rides. Bypasses and A-roads don’t. And they especially don’t lend themselves to fat-bottomed cyclists who are so unsteady that they are weaving all over the road along which traffic moves at 60 mph.

The pond shop were having an end of season clearance sale, and I got a couple of fish. I don’t really need any more, but two Koi for £8.50 seemed a bargain. On the minus side, they’d sold out of NishiKoi food, so I had to get “TetraPond Koi Stix” to which the Koi don’t seem very partial. Oh well, they can eat it or they can go hungry. I’m not buying any more fish food until that’s gone.

The text I received earlier was to ask if I wanted to go up to the Goose Fair this morning. My original plan was to be there all day with the astronomy club. But… About a week or so ago there was talk of a day at Hever Castle today, and when I realised the astro club had enough help for the Goose Fair, I backed out of helping with the stall. Somewhere along the way the talk of Hever Castle seemed to stop, so I would have liked to have gone to the Goose Fair as a visitor, but once the morning’s garden jobs were done and I’d got fish food, the day was half gone.

So, for what was left of the day, we went to the arky-ologee dig. Where four of us scrubbled about in a hole for an hour and a half. We found some manky bits of broken pots, and some iron ore. The two looked identical. But we managed to prove that in Roman and prehistoric times, people were mucking about on Lenham Heath. Disappointment was expressed at the low turn out – four out of a membership of over forty. But Challock Goose Fair was on today – that would have pulled the punters in. And I can’t help but wonder how many of the club membership you can expect to go along to do digging. For myself I go to the archaeology club which meets in the evening. The evening – after dark in the village hall. Where we listen to someone who’s done archaeology telling us what happened. I have absolutely no interest at all in getting my hands dirty. I suspect the vast majority of the club membership are the same. It’s a shame the club management don’t see it that way.

Meanwhile I am reliably assured that Glenn’s “fanny magnet” has hit the streets. For the uninitiated, this is a vehicle which would seem to exhibit a magnetic attraction to…. well, I’m not sure what it’s going to magnetise. But I expect that whatever it does magnetise will be disappointed.

12 September 2009 (Saturday) - Sumners Ponds

This morning was my Saturday morning to work. So I got that over and done with as quickly as possible, and then home. A quick cheese roll, and then off to deepest Sussex.

For some time a group of friends have periodically been camping at Sumners Ponds, and for some time I’ve been meaning to go see the place. It took about an hour and a bit to get there, and it would be tricky to find without scrat-nav, but it was worth the journey. We arrived to find Colin flying a sea horse. An impressively huge sea horse. It turned out that he’d ordered a five metre kite, and the people who made it sent a 10 metre one by mistake. We then wandered over to exchange insults with Dave who hadn’t spotted us, and then we spent the afternoon just relaxing with friends, flying kites, strolling around, and generally slobbing about.

Having heard so much about Sumners Ponds over the last year, my mission for the day was to “case the joint” with a view to camping there in the future. With a field to ourselves (away from the normal people), a toilet on site, and a café and shower block just a short stroll down the lane, Sumners Ponds is the ideal camping venue. It’s also got all sorts of footpaths going here and there which would be ideal for walks, and the ponds would seem to be excellent for fishing – I saw some rather large carp being landed.

We arrived about 2.30pm, and the idea was to stay until 5-ish. At 6pm I went to Tescos with Dave for some beer. Having had three separate offers to join people for tea, we stayed for the communal barbecue, and seriously considered the offer of staying in the spare caravan overnight.

As we came home shortly after 9pm, I found myself reflecting on camping in general. Each year we have four camping trips. We go from Friday to Monday, because with so much luggage, it’s not worth the effort for one night. But the luggage is mostly the cooking tent and all that goes with it. With a café on site for brekky and the communal barby on a Saturday night, we don’t need a cooking tent. We’d need a tent to sleep in, sleeping bags, and a change of undercrackers. There’s an off-licence just down the road which sells local beers - going for one night would be easy.

Three of my annual camping trips are to kite festivals. And the bits I like most are the Fridays and the evenings - the times when the “normal people” aren’t there. And Bat-Camp is great because being on private land, there’s no “normal people” anyway. At Sumner’s Ponds we’d have a field where it’s just the kiting people. No normal people in the way.

I’ve asked Colin for the dates of the next weekend at Sumners Ponds. I shall be there….

11 September 2009 (Friday) - Making Plans

In the spirit of weight loss and generally getting the knee sorted, I cycled to work this morning. That made my knee ache. As I cycled up the hospital drive there was a woman running down it, shouting “piffle, piffle, piffle” rather loudly. Bless (!)

And then I updated my “dates for the diary” section of the blog. I’ve pencilled in a cycle ride for a week on Saturday – I’m thinking the Flying Horse at Wye. With the kite season over, we’ll soon be into bonfire parades. It does wind me up somewhat that bonfire parades don’t seem to get advertised as early as they might be. I’ve emailed people about Xmas arrangements – and am waiting to hear back before I make any definite plans there. And I’ve provisionally pencilled in a few beer festivals too. The diet will long be over by then.

If any of my loyal readers know the date of next year’s Dieppe kite festival, please let me know. I went last year, and it was really good. I quite fancy going again.

Kites, beer, bonfires. All organised by others. What do I want to do for myself? In the first instance I wouldn’t mind some more bow snarrows. After all, that bow wasn’t cheap and I’ve used it twice. And a few more cycle rides before it gets too cold. And once it is too cold, I wouldn’t mind going to the pub - I’ve pencilled in a session round about my birthday. And camping. Kite festival dates are fixed, but there was talk of doing two bat-camps this year. Now we’ve got a functioning clammy-khasi, maybe we could have a go at Dering Farm in May?

And then I wasted an hour or so watching Doctor Who clips on You-tube…

10 September 2009 (Thursday) - A Dodgy Knee, Diets, and an Anniversary

I was a little later than usual getting up today. I went downstairs to find “My Boy ^TM ” in the kitchen. For once he hadn’t woken the world with his noise. When I commented on the fact, he said that he thought everyone was already up. If that’s not an admission of excessive racket on his part, I’d like to know what is.

The morning’s post brought a letter arrived from HMP Slade. “Norman Stanley’s“ littlun’s birthday was yesterday. It’s missing things like that which seem to upset him more than any of the discomforts of prison life.

To the doctor to get my knee sorted out. Whenever I walk downstairs, my right knee joint makes a horrible grinding sound. I’m sure it shouldn’t do that. As soon as I told the doc what the problem was, he told me to take my trousers off and lie on the couch. That was a result – he’s a fast mover is my doctor. He mauled my leg about, and then said to put my trousers back on. Oh well, it was good whilst it lasted. He then weighed me, and told me I was overweight. I wondered how many years he’d spent at medical school to come up with that. He also did my blood pressure which was 140/80. The 80 bit is good, but the 140 is a bit iffy.

He sent me for an X-ray, which was a bit dull. Whilst the doc couldn’t get my kex off quick enough, the fit X-ray bird wasn’t having any of it. Sensible girl, I suppose. She positioned me at all sorts of rakish angles and zapped me with radiation (she gets paid for that). And then she said I should give the doc a ring in a week or so for the results. If the X ray shows anything, once I’ve lost some weight I might need surgery. If the X ray is clear, once I’ve lost some weight I might get physiotherapy.

It was at this point that I began to detect a pattern. I bemoaned my fate at work with some fellow porkers, and a podge-a-thon has been declared. A podge-a-thon is a bit like a diet, but there’s less fiddling about with calories. During a podge-a-thon, normal rules do not apply, and “salad” becomes a legitimate food item. Provided it’s curried. I’m currently weighing in at 109 kilos (or 17 stone 2 pounds in proper weight) and I need to get down to…. Well, I’ve no idea really. On the Internet it says 12 stone. I can’t see that happening, somehow. I shall just cut out all meat, bread and potatoes and see if my knee is still hurting and making a noise at the end of a month. I had this plan to start cycling to work to lose weight, but I’m not sure if it will play my knee up. Oh well, I’ll give it a go and see what happens.

Bearing in mind the need to lose weight rather urgently, I went to work today with a sackful of cakes and sweeties. The occasion warranted it – today marks twenty five years since I started working at St. Elsewhere’s Hospital. Twenty five years. The original plan had me staying at the place for three years to get my higher qualifications and then moving on. But then family happened, and now I can’t find anything else to do which pays as well. Oh well, bearing in mind I worked at “Hastings Infirmary for the Halt and the Lame” for three years as well, I can get my NHS pension in twelve years time.

I hope my knee will hold out that long…..

9 September 2009 (Wednesday) - A Quiet Night In

Today was rather dull. Got up, did even more laundry, to work, blah – de –blah. Being on an early shift meant I got home early, and then after drafting a witty and erudite crossword to sent into HMP Slade, I just fell asleep in front of the PC.

I woke up to find over an hour had passed, then spent some time in YoVille. It’s a bit like NeverWinter, but without the Dungeons and the Dragons (if that’s possible). And then me and ‘er indoors ^TM sat down to watch a film. Which is far easier said than done. I can’t stick the romantic dribble she likes. And she can’t abide the quality entertainment I like. For a house that is drowning in DVDs, there aren’t many we agree on. We settled for BlackBall, something we saw at the cinema six years ago. If you’ve never seen it, I can recommend it. What happens is….

And then, after a couple of bottles of beer and a decent fraction of a bottle of port, work phoned….

8 September 2009 (Tuesday) - Old Friends

To B&Q to get a battery for the squeaking smoke detector. In the past I’ve mentioned about the retards who cannot cope with the self-service tills in Tescos. Whereas the self service tills in Tescos are entertaining, the ones now installed in B&Q are infuriating. In Tesco, the retard element has the option to go to a till operated by someone else. B&Q have done away with all their cashiers, and now only have self service tills. Which is fine if you aren’t in a hurry. No – that last sentence doesn’t actually convey the truth of the matter. What I should say is “which is fine, if you have at least an hour to spare”. You can see B&Q from my house, and Homebase is three miles away. But with the new tills, it’s quicker to drive across town and buy stuff in Homebase than walk the few hundred yards to B&Q and queue up for half a day.

Meanwhile on Facebook, Barry Deacon has added me as a friend. That’s nice. If any of my loyal readers know who Barry Deacon is, please let me know. I’ve never heard of the bloke. From the mutual friends option, I would guess the bloke is something to do with kite flying, but I could well be wrong.

And this evening Sue came to visit. I’ve not seen her for ages. We had a good old gossip about the good old days, and even a text from the USA whilst she was with us. Can’t wait till next time….