7 April 2024 (Sunday) - Late Shift

I woke for a tiddle at five o’clock and felt like death warmed up. I went back to bed, slept till nine o’clock and woke feeling rather better. I wonder what that was all about?

I made toast and had my usual root round Facebook. My cousin is looking to move house. Moving is something I think about from time to time, but it would mean a major upheaval, loads of expense, and loads of work once the move was done… I think we will stay put for a while.

I reported two or three posts on Facebook this morning. I am sick and tired of seeing things “suggested for you” about dogs dying. I’m still having meltdowns over my little Fudge, and he’s been gone nearly three years.

 

I set off to work. There were some new geocaches that had gone live this morning. The chance to chase a First to Find would have been good. But one was thirty miles south-west, and two were thirty miles east. And I was heading thirty miles west.

I had a quick Munzee session before leaving Ashford. As I drove to Pembury I listened to the start of “Desert Island Discs”, but it was on Radio Four Extra. Reception of that channel is patchy at best, and the chap being interviewed was dull. So I sang along to my dire choice of music instead.

 

I got to work and popped to the hospital’s branch of WH Smiths to get a bar of choccie for the way home. A small bar of choccie costs £1.29.

Can you believe it?

 

And that was it for today. I did the late shift and came home again. I get so many days of these days I shouldn’t grumble about when I do work, but I can’t say I’m keen on it.

6 April 2024 (Saturday) - Dog Club, Kearsney Abbey

There was some minor excitement last night. When tumble drying you need to get the stuff out of the tumble drier when it finishes so it can air out otherwise it ends up damp. So I was awake about two hours later than usual waiting for the thing to finish so’s I could air the smalls when suddenly there was a major commotion next door, and then a frantic hammering on our front door. 

New-next-door was in her jim-jams in a bit of a state because her house was flooding. I went to have a look; more out of a sense of moral support than in being able to do anything practical. Sure enough water was pouring through the ceiling. She showed me a cavity in the wall in which the stop cock lived, but I couldn’t find any stop cock in there. Another neighbour had found the leak – their bathroom is upstairs and water was gushing from underneath the sink. It struck me that I could do something… there’s a stop cock in our back garden which controls the flow of water to our house. In the past that has turned off new-next-door’s water too. I went and turned it, and sure enough the water stopped.

She seemed a tad less fraught with the water stopped. She was adamant that she could clean up on her own so I left her with instructions to call me at any time if there were any developments and I went to bed. And lay there wide awake unable to sleep after all the excitement. I was just nodding off when my mobile rang. Some chap who’d arrived with new-next-door’s mum had fixed the cause of the leak. Could I turn the water back on. I told her I could do better than that; I could show her where the stop cock was (and still is).

We all went into the back garden, turned on the water, went back to check the repair, and seeing all was well I went back to bed. In the meantime several of her friends and family had arrived to help sort the flood. I left them to it and went back to bed shortly after two o’clock.

 

I got up at seven o’clock and had a look at the Internet. It was still there, and petty squabbles abounded. From posts on Facebook I saw an old mucker was in Sydney. This chap leads an interesting lifestyle. Having got a PhD in physics he then took a law degree and now works in the legalities of intellectual property. He once commented that it is cheaper to live in hotels than to have a house in the style he would like, and since all he needs to be able to work is a reliable internet connection he travels the world from hotel to hotel.

Sometimes I think I might have done better than a terraced house with more dogs than sense, but would I want that lifestyle? Each to their own, I suppose.

I also saw my cousin was on a four-day fishing session not far from Pembury. After two days he’s caught a fish. I’ve not been fishing for years…

I had a quick Munzee session from the couch, opened two Qrates and got two more and took my life in my hands by waking “er indoors ^TM” and the dogs.

 

We got ourselves together and set off to Dog Club. There was a decent turn-out today. The dogs had a great time running and chasing about. For all that the rain held off, it was still rather muddy.

On the way to Dog Club I’d completely failed with Steve’s “Guess the Lyrics” competition on the radio, but I got the mystery year on the way home. ABC’s “Poison Arrow” and the introduction of the twenty-pence piece. 1982.

 

We had a cuppa, then on with the next part of the day. I drove to Folkestone to collect “Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM” and her tribe. We then went on to Kearsney Abbey where the family soon gathered. The idea was that we would have a nice walk then a picnic, but grandchildren demanded playpark. So whilst everyone else walked the dogs round, “Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM” and I took the kids to the playpark. The wrong playpark we were reliably informed by a truculent “Stormageddon – Bringer of Destruction ^TM” who didn’t seem to know what he wanted to do, but didn’t want to do anything that was on offer today.

We all met up for picnic, then went over the road to the other part of the park and the other playpark where “Stormageddon – Bringer of Destruction ^TM” went utterly ballistic because other people were daring to use the other playpark.

Sometimes he can be hard work. I wish I knew how to calm him down.

 

Leaving “er indoors ^TM” to take “Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM”, “Stormageddon – Bringer of Destruction ^TM” and 

“Darcie Waa Waa ^TM” shopping, and Cheryl and Dan-Dan to go to the Bargain Warehouse I ran “My Boy ^TM” home. He was amazed at how quiet the dogs were in the car. He’d driven down with “er indoors ^TM” and the dogs had been rather over-excited. They were worn out on the way home.

I made myself a cuppa and uploaded a few photos of our day. I slobbed in front of the telly with the dogs watching the first “Harry Potter” film until “er indoors ^TM” came home… then I fell asleep.

 

I woke two hours later. “er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good steak dinner which we scoffed whilst watching the semi-final of “Lego Masters; New Zealand”.

New-next-door has sent a message. The leak has stopped but something or other needs to be replaced. I just wish I could do something to help. I wonder if maybe basic plumbing is something we might all be taught at school? I’ve taught myself basic woodworking, but if I cut a length of wood wrong I’m not going to flood anything.

5 April 2024 (Friday) - Goats

As I scoffed toast this morning I saw an impressive squabble on one of the Star Trek Facebook groups that I follow about some trivial point in a Star Trek episode from fifty years ago. As the argument went on it became painfully clear that the more vocal people in the quarrel hadn’t actually watched much “Star Trek”. Some people just like an argument.

I had some emails. My credit score with credit karma has gone up by nine points. Even though I’ve halved my working hours and the pension people haven’t stumped up yet. I have to wonder what that score is actually scoring.

And I had an email about the dog insurance. It turns out that the Dog Club has got a specific policy for dog clubs through the Repton people, so that’s my mind at rest.

 

Leaving “er indoors ^TM” with the dogs I set off on a little Munzee mission round town, then set off down the motorway to Folkestone. As I drove I listened to Dr Tim Spector on Desert Island Discs; a favourite radio program of mine. Like all the other castaways on that show Dr Spector has had a fascinating life, but has a frankly dreadful taste in music.

I got to Folkestone where “Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM” was tearing her hair out. She was ready to go, but being too small to know any different, “Darcie Waa Waa ^TM” was just being difficult. And “Stormageddon – Bringer of Destruction ^TM” was still in bed.

 

We eventually got ourselves organized and set off back up the motorway. It wasn’t long before we were in the car park of Buttercups goat sanctuary putting on our wellies.

We had an excellent hour or so at the place. You can walk in and pet the goats. They are very friendly. You can feed them too (with bags of goat food bought at the place). Feeding is done from the other side of a fence as they can get rather forceful and demanding. It is suggested that you don’t feed the goats wearing the purple collars, but I never did find out why. I did notice that when feeding, the ones with the red collars were rather pushy and it was quite tricky making sure that a goat without a red collar got some food.

“Darcie Waa Waa ^TM” seemed rather put out that the goats didn’t sit and offer a paw before getting fed. I suppose I can see her point; the dogs at home have to do that, so why shouldn’t the goats?

We did chuckle when having an ice-cream at the sanctuary’s shop. An epically fat woman who had just gone arse-over-tit in the mud (and was caked in mud) was having a real spiteful rant at her mate who had just come out of the shop with two bags of goat food. What good was goat food to her? She couldn’t eat it. And she wasn’t joking, either.

After an hour or so we washed our hands and wandered back to the car. If ever you are in the Maidstone area and at a loose end I can’t recommend the goat sanctuary highly enough.

I took a few photos whilst we were there.

 

We returned to Folkestone for McDinner. Some little brat was running round the place screaming. I just kept quiet and watched. After ten minutes and various pointed comments from pretty much everyone else in the place, the brat’s mother (rather pathetically) asked him to sit down. The brat stopped, looked mother in the eye, said “No” and carried on running.

Perhaps a crack on the arse might have shown the brat the error of its ways?

 

I took “Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM” and her tribe home, then came home myself. I had planned to take the dogs out, but “er indoors ^TM” had already taken them on a little adventure of their own, so I had a cuppa and a much-needed few minutes rest.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up pie and chips which we scoffed whilst watching more episodes of “Lego Masters: New Zealand”. Again fast forwarding through the adverts reduced an hour’s recording to forty minutes.

Who still watches adverts in this day and age?

4 April 2024 (Thursday) - It Rained

I awoke at eight o’clock and spent a couple of minutes watching Morgan and Bailey scrapping until they noticed I was awake. They mobbed me for a minute or so, then we all came downstairs for brekkie.

There were two squabbles on Facebook this morning. One was on a “Dad’s Army” page I follow in which someone had made a tit of himself by not reading what someone else had written. Having read the first word, assumed the rest, and launched an utterly unfounded and irrelevant rant he was then just compounding his error.

The other was an April Fool’s joke that had backfired. If you change the name of a Facebook group it would seem you can’t change it again for a month. And so what was once a Sparks-related page will be attracting a lot of womble-related interest until May.

 

Seeing a bright day outside I loaded the dogs into the car and we set off to Challock. As we drove there was a rather interesting program about the life and times of Nikola Tesla. As is so often the case, for all that he was a genius, money is made by showmen and those who start off with money.

We got to the woods. There were four cars in the car park, and we saw three other dog walkers; all within a hundred yards of the car park. About a mile into the woods we met a woman on a horse. I whistled and all three dogs turned away from the horse and came to me to get their leads put on. They then stood as good as gold quietly watching the horse walk by. They behave far better when it’s just me with them.

At our furthest point form the car park so the blue skies suddenly turned black and the heavens opened. We were soaked by the time we got back to the car.

 

We came home for a warming shower. I put wet clothes into the washing machine and then over a cuppa I piddled about on-line. The Dog Club insurance was due. However there’s an issue with the Dog Club. The club runs reasonably well, but what happens when there is an issue or something needs to be done? The chap who started it left some time ago. The chap who took over set up a WhatsApp group of people who’d offered to help him, and then disappeared himself. Having made the mistake of offering to be a point of contact for the Repton centre people, the Repton people contacted me earlier in the week asking for the insurance money (a reasonable request).

How do we raise it? I asked the WhatsApp group… I can remember the chap who used to run my old Boys Brigade group telling me that if I wanted to avoid getting anything done, I should set up a committee. After three days, only three of the eight people in the WhatsApp group replied. I made a decision about how we would proceed. I’ve paid it and hopefully people will pay me their bit when they see me. It works out to about £2.50 per dog. I told the club what I’d decided via the club’s Facebook page.

Next time there’s something to be done I will just do it and tell people what I’ve done after I’ve done it.

 

I then had a little sweep around the garden. I wanted to do so much more out there, but the recent rain had made everything so wet. I had a little doze, then after lunch I got the third load of washing out of the washing machine and set about the ironing.

As I ironed I watched episodes of “Four In a Bed”. The people running a rather camp art gallery refused to put on a cooked breakfast because it would upset the art. The second people refused to put on a cooked breakfast because they’d converted their kitchen into a bedroom. And the last people refused to put on a cooked breakfast because it was too much arse ache. But they all criticized the others for not doing so.

 

“er indoors ^TM” went shopping. I boiled up dinner. It didn’t turn out that bad really. As we scoffed we watched more “Lego Masters: New Zealand”. I could make good Lego models better than the ones in the show *if* I had access to the brick pit with two million Lego bricks and if I didn’t have such a strict time limit.

3 April 2024 (Wednesday) - A Cyclist...

As I scoffed toast I watched the last episode of “Friday Night Dinner”. A rather good series; now to find something else to watch before work.

With nothing much happening on-line I set off to Pembury and work.

 

As I drove the pundits on the radio were interviewing some idiot who was complaining about how much cheaper supermarkets are than little local shops, how it wasn’t fair on the small shopkeepers, and how we should all boycott the supermarkets to teach them a lesson.

There’s no denying that (relatively speaking) supermarkets are cheap. Back in the day when “Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM” tried to run a small shop she found that supermarkets were selling a lot of stuff cheaper than she could get it from the cash & carry. Supporting small shops is all very well if you can afford to do so. Personally I think the most recent fruit of my loins did the right thing in cutting her losses and not trying to compete with Tesco.

There was then a lot of talk about business… various experts were wheeled on to discuss all sorts of things. Retail, hotels, pubs, cinemas, nursing homes… the only thing that any of the experts were interested in was do these things make money? That’s the bottom line, isn’t it?

 

I got to work and did my bit. And slipped off early to use up a couple of hours of leave. As I drove home I listened to an album.

Fifty years ago Sparks released “Kimono My House”; one of my favourite albums. I have lists of favourite books and singles. Perhaps I should list my favourite albums too? A few months ago I heard that Pale Wizard Records were looking to bring out a cover album; all the tracks on the album covered by various bands. They were asking for crowdfunding and I signed up right away. I listened to the album of cover versions as I drove home. Sadly, of the twelve tracks two were good, two were OK and the rest were something of a disappointment.

Such a shame.

 

I got home and thought I might take the dogs to the park. But I forgot the schools were on holiday.

We had an episode…

As I was walking through the park I sensed something behind me. I turned to see some child on a pedal bike maybe two yards behind me, pedalling like a thing possessed whilst looking back over his shoulder at some old woman way behind (grandmother, perhaps?) The child suddenly noticed that he was about to crash into me, swerved, and missed Treacle by inches. He then carried on cycling whilst looking back at me shouting apologies.

I should have smiled and said nothing, but I didn’t.

I suggested he might like to stop apologizing, turn his head and look where he was going. Bearing in mind he was on a straight line for the river (only a few yards away) I thought that was rather sage advice. It was at this point that grandmother caught up and snapped at me that I should be more patient as it was only his third day on the bike. I suggested that she might have told him to look where he was going on day one. I marched off leaving her looking most indignant, I did my little whistle, and all three dogs followed me at heel.

We came home to find Bailey had rolled in something disgusting. Hopefully she’d done that after our little episode.

 

I then dozed in front of the telly for far too long. Early starts are a tad too much like hard work. “er indoors ^TM” boiled up pork chops and we scoffed them whilst watching more “Lego Masters: New Zealand”.

I’m hoping that after peanuts, chili and Easter eggs, pork chops might sort my innards out.

2 April 2024 (Tuesday) - Spare Cake (?)

With the kebab not sitting well it took a little while for me to get off to sleep last night. It was a shame that her next door had either a nightmare or very noisy sex at quarter to three. Whichever it was, there was a lot of screaming. I’ve not seen her today; I do hope she wasn’t being murdered. What’s the etiquette for that sort of thing?

I didn’t get back to sleep after that.

 

Over toast I watched an episode of “Friday Night Dinner” then had a quick look at the Internet. One day it might be different; today it was dull. I sent out a couple of birthday wishes, and got ready for work. Now the clocks have gone forward I put on a summer shirt. I have summer and winter shirts (doesn’t everyone?)

 

I set off to work through the rain. As I drove I listened to the radio. I've not done that for a week; it's amazing how quickly you can get out of touch with the world. As a child I couldn't understand my grandfather's fascination with the news. It was so dull. It is still dull, but you miss so much if you don't pay attention.

Aid workers in Gaza have been killed by Israeli forces. This isn't the first time innocents have got caught in the crossfire. The Israelis are doing themselves no favours.

And the Prime Minister has announced that fifteen hours of free childcare is now available for working parents of two-year-olds. Or, to be precise, working parents of two-year-olds are entitled to fifteen hours of free childcare. A subtle difference, maybe. However being entitled to it doesn't mean they will get it. There aren't actually enough spaces in nurseries for all the two-year-olds because there aren't enough nurseries. Here we see the stark difference between Conservative and Labour philosophy. The Conservatives announce the policy and expect private enterprise to deliver. Which it doesn't. On the other hand Labour would have child care delivered by the state... if it were to be offering it. Which it isn't keen to do because there aren't enough nurseries for all the two-year-olds. Neither party can deliver, but have different reasons for not doing so. There's something to think about when casting your vote in the upcoming elections. We don't so much choose what we want, rather we choose our reasons for not getting what we want.

 

As I drove up the motorway my phone beeped. I could see from the notification on my watch that there was a new virtual geocache at Hadleigh castle. Bearing in mind that these things are rather rare and so getting to be first to find one of these takes some doing, I got rather excited. Hadleigh castle isn't far off of my way to work... And then I realised. It is Hadlow tower which isn't far off of my way to work. Hadleigh castle is in Essex.

Oh well...

 

I got to work and did that which I couldn't avoid. But there was cake. Lots of it. Someone back from maternity leave had made Easter cupcakes, someone had a birthday last Saturday ,and someone else had brought in a spare cake. "Spare cake". Not a concept I understand...

 

With work worked I came home slowly. “Operation Brock” is a pain in the glass. “er indoors ^TM” boiled up chili and I scoffed an Easter egg for afters.

My guts haven’t been right all day – I suspect this won’t help them.

 

Being at work today my step count was under four thousand steps. This last week when I wasn’t at work I didn’t have a day with a step count under ten thousand.

1 April 2024 (Monday) - Building the Plant Box

I had hoped for a bit of a lie-in this morning. “er indoors ^TM” ‘s alarm went off like it usually does, and then there was a major commotion outside at half last seven. Some idiot had driven his huge lorry through the barrier at the top of the road, found himself facing a queue of incoming traffic and then started shouting about it. You would think that people would think twice about making a complete cock of themselves when they are in the firm’s lorry with the firm’s name emblazoned all over it, wouldn’t you?

 

I gave up trying to sleep go up, made brekkie and had a look at the Internet. April Fool abounded with the Lego corporation announcing a full-sized Minion model, local Facebook groups showing photos of mis-spelled signs on the local college, and one Sparks fan page suddenly being devoted to wombles. And sadly this provoked no end of squabbles from people who didn’t understand the concept of “April Fool” or “Humour”.

 

I spent an hour weeding and tidying up in the garden until “er indoors ^TM” and the dogs emerged from the pit. Once I’d hung out washing we took the dogs to the park. I had this vague idea to try the cooked breakfast in the dog-friendly café in the park but there was an Easter Egg hunt in the park and the café was full of face painting. We just had a little wander and walked home. As we walked I tried to get inside Morgan’s head. I wish I knew what he thinks. When on the lead on the way to the park he was confrontational and aggressive to other dogs. When off the lead in the park he was playing nicely with other dogs. We had the same yesterday at the Leas.

We came home via the corner shop where I got pastries. We had them with a cuppa, and just as the second load of washing finished so the heavens opened. It didn’t rain for long; just long enough to get everything wet.

 

Bearing in mind the box I was building for the garden needed something solid to stand on (or the base would rot away) I popped to B&Q for a paving slab.

Oh dear…

B&Q was absolutely heaving this morning. Children were running round screaming; people were randomly blundering about. Maybe one in twenty was actually looking where they were going. Some people were looking at what was for sale in total amazement in much the same way that I would go to the zoo and look at the animals.

I got the slab I needed and got out as quickly as I could.

 

I came home; “er indoors ^TM” set off to visit family. Not wanting to leave the dogs all afternoon I stayed home. Seeing the rain had stopped I had a look at the box-sections I made yesterday. I put them together into a box. They didn’t fit together quite as precisely as they might have done, but a clout or two with a hammer got them into shape. I lined the box, painted it, and the rain started again. Realising it was two o’clock and that I felt hungry I stopped for scoff..

Yesterday I had an out-of-date Mars bar for lunch. Today I had a bag of peanuts. As I scoffed I watched another episode of “The Gentlemen”. And seeing it was still raining when that episode finished, I watched another.

 

By then the rain had stopped. So… the purpose of the garden box was to replace the poggered pot one of our shrubs lives in. So I heave the poggered pot out of the way, got the new box into place, filled it with soil, transplanted the shrub and tidied up. Ten seconds to type; an hour and a half to do. It does look better than it was though.

By one of those strange co-incidences Facebook memories told me that I first got the shrub I transplanted exactly six years ago today. It is a “sorbaria sorbifolia” and according to the Internet it is quite hardy. I wonder if it will survive the transplanting? “My Boy ^TM” got one at the same time that I did and his soon died – and he is good at gardening.

I’ve two more shrubs to transplant. Which means two more boxes to build. If any of my loyal readers have an old picnic table or old shed or any old random lumps of wood kicking about… I can swap them for sorbaria sorbifolia cuttings or a big poggered flower pot.

 

“er indoors ^TM” came home with kebab which we scoffed whilst watching the first two episodes of the second season of “Lego Masters: New Zealand”.

That kebab’s not sitting well…