17 May 2015 (Sunday) - Home Alone

Over brekkie I watched an episode of "Dad's Army" which the SkyPlus box had recorded for me. There's something odd about the way in which the BBC is currently broadcasting "Dad's Army". Two weeks ago they showed the pilot episode. Last week was the last episode ever. Today was the second episode. So much for continuity.

The plan for today had (for some time) involved a family trip to the zoo. But with most of the family having forgotten the plan, backup plans came into play. "er indoors ^TM" is doing a rather serious sponsored walk next weekend, and she took advantage of fitting in an extra practice run. I didn't much fancy that, so as she set off with "Furry Face ^TM" I did my own thing.

Yesterday we had the county cacher's meet. I'm in the frame to be hosting the one in August so I sorted out a venue for a summer picnic, and also did the first trial run for a little geo-stroll to go with the August picnic.

The summer picnic will be a picnic in a field. Absolutely no facilities whatsoever; just a field and whatever the punters want to bring along. The cache walk I've devised to go along with it seems a pleasant enough one; I shall sent the route to the reviewer and just check I'm not taking people where they are not supposed to be. I'm pretty sure its all OK, but I've thought that before.

I came home via Asda where I heard they had cheap pressure washers. They did; but Asda's home brand ones. I didn't fance one of those. Instead I went to Wickes and got a Karcher one. Sometimes it's worth paying a little extra. You can get accessories for teh Karcher ones.

I then mowed the lawn and pressure washed some of the back garden. Our Whelan's windmill didn't survive. "er indoors ^TM" will lay an egg when she finds out.

I then started doing some of the geo-admin for the morning's walk. But with only two cache hides left to register, geocaching dot com crashed on me.

With most of the afternoon gone and "er indoors ^TM" still twelve miles from her intended goal I decided to forage for tea. I foraged in the direction of the kebab shop. It was rather hard work. All I wanted was meat and chips. Is that so hard to understand? Did I want pickles? Did I want salt and vinegar? Did I want curry sauce? Did I want chilis? After shouting "JUST MEAT AND CHIPS" for the umpteenth time the two-thumbed assistant (he actually had two thumbs on his hand) stopped trying to foist unwanted stuff on to me.

I scoffed my kebab and chips whilst watching "Clockwise"; a film with John Cleese. I don't remember having seen it before, but some parts of it seemed vaguely familiar.

The phone rang. It was my brother. Someone had visited, and claiming to know a thing or two about computers they'd trashed my nephew's laptop beyond redemption. As I've told my brother so many times he and my nephews cannot break it, but letting so-called experts fiddle with it *will* break it. After an hour or so we got the thing working again. When I said *don't* download dodgy software I rather hoped they would take that sage advice.

I then watched "The Great Escape". A quality film; I've seen it so many times... "er indoors ^TM" still isn't home. The house seems empty without my dog...

16 May 2015 (Saturday) - Geo-Meet

Much as I like the night shifts, they can mess with my sleep pattern. I suppose that having slept like a log for much of yesterday it would be no surprise that I didn't sleep very well last night. I went to bed shortly after eleven and lay awake for ages. I was woken by a ferocious barking from "Furry Face ^TM" shortly after 1.30am; he'd discovered the gate blocking him from coming upstairs and he wasn't happy about it. I then only dozed fitfully after that, and was up watching "Toddlers and Tiaras" at 5am. There is something grotesque about how such small children are derssed up; who in their right mind puts fake boobs on a four-year old?

But I do like watching the thwarting of greedy avaricious parents.

After a few hours I took my dog for a walk. Yesterday I mentioned that we avoided the park because we'd seen posters advertising the fun fair. Having forgot about that we went to the park by mistake. It was only when we got there that I saw there was no fun fair. But there's still posters advertising it. I wonder what that's all about.

Mind you the Saturday morning jogging club was in full flow. Over a hundred joggers running round the place; not one looking as though they were enjoying it.

We also saw OrangeHead, but took a swift diversion before she saw us.

Once home I fiddled about on-line for a bit, then we set off for the monthly geocacher's meet-up. This time we were meeting at the Chequers Inn in Petham; just south of Canterbury. We started off in the beer garden. Excellent company, sunshine, beer from the barrel. After six pints (I counted) we went for a little geo-walk.

An excellent afternoon. It's inspired me to get my arse in gear and sort out the meet for August.

I slept for most (all) of the journey home. Once home feeling somewhat lazy I plonked myself in front of the telly and watched Spider-Man 3. On reflection it was one of the worst films I've ever seen; it perked up in the last twenty minutes (bit like me, really) but by then I'd really lost interest in it. Surprisingly I stayed awake for all of it; unlike my dog who was snoring on my lap...

15 May 2015 (Friday) - Pressure Washing

I listened to the news on the night shift last night. Our old friend Science has been getting a load of stick. Every so often the issue of antibiotic resistance in microbes makes the headlines and the punters announcing the news lay eggs about the matter. In essence the problem is that the bacteria that cause disease become immune to the very drugs which are supposed to eradicate them. It's not news; it was a very well known problem thirty-plus years ago. The obvious answer would be to put effort into developing new antibiotics. However it would seem (surprisingly) that there's not enough profit in it to make the pharmaceutical giants want to put in the effort.

Calls have come for a fund to be set up to finance research into new antibiotics. Governments have called on the pharmaceutical giants to stump up the money. The pharmaceutical giants have called on governments to come up with the readies.

Meanwhile children die...

In another field of science, NASA have denied rumours that they are close to announcing the development of a working warp drive.

They *are* looking into the possibilities offered by Em-Drive technology, but in the mind of the average punter a plausible technology and cloud-cuckoo-land are rather indistinguishable in outer space. Are tehre really so few of us that can tell the difference?

The radio also told me of two birthdays. Kermit the Frog is sixty today, and the fast food chain McDonalds is seventy-five. I shared this news with the day shift releif when they came in at 8am. They weren't impressed. In fact they said that Kermit the Frog doesn't have a birthday because *it* (!) is a puppet.

I might just bring cakes in to work to celebrate on Monday and remind them that since they are puppetbirthday-ist they can't have cakes.

And so after another night shift I came home. I was somewhat gripped by indecision as to where to go for our walk this morning. Most of our walks lead to or through Viccie park. And the dog-walking fraternity in Viccie park boil my piss. Leaving aside the silly old sod who flatly refuses not to feed treats to "Furry Face ^TM" and the rather rude bunch who seem to be having their own private agility class, the nice lady with the black pug and the nice lady with the two Scotties have both recently joined OrangeHead's posse. And so consequently are obliged to make great show of blanking me when their leader is about. In fact out of all those who regularly lurk around the park there's only really the Irish chap with the strange furry thing on his lead with whom I'm still on good terms.

But as I drove home my decision was made for me; the town was awash with posters advertising a fun fair setting up in Viccie Park. So we went round the roads for a short wander.

A couple of days ago I mentioned that I'd borrowed Steve's pressure washer and couldn't get it to work. I had another go after our walk. This time successfully. I scrubbed down the patio and the front garden. Both jobs were rather rushed; but as a "proof of concept" I didn't do too badly at all. I'm amazed at how clean the floors came up.

The plan was then to have an hour's shut-eye; after all I had just done the night shift. I took myself off to bed shortly after 11am; "er indoors ^TM" woke me when she sent a message at 6pm. One of the best night's sleep for years. It was only a shame it was in the afternoon.

I then spent the evening doing what I had planned for the afternoon. After all, ironing doesn't do itself. And with the tumble drier seeing to my socks I returned the pressure washer to Steve.

I might just get myself one; I can pay for it with money I would otherwise have spent on saxophone lessons...

14 May 2015 (Thursday) - End of an Era...?

After a surprisingly busy night shift I listened to the radio on the drive home. Occasionally (just occasionally) the news of the day boils my piss. A few such story raised the temperature of that volatile fluid today.

The local police are no longer going to dirty their hands dealing with lost property. Apparently if I find anything which seems to be valuable it's now up to me to try to find the owner. The use of social media was advocated (!)

Something else which rather annoyed me was the publication of the "Black Spider" memos.  Prince Charles has over the years written to various ministers expressing his concerns on a range of issues. These letters have been published for no apparent reason other than to stir up bad feeling towards our future King.

Prince Charles is in a no-win position. If he does nothing but open supermarkets and hospitals whilst blathering platitudes he is lambasted as a vacuous windbag. If he expresses opinion he is accused of wielding unfair influence.

However it seems that Charlie had valid points and concerns which were expressed politely and respectfully, and the machinations of the Republicans have been thwarted.

And the pundits were up in arms about Facebook's news feed. They *really* didn't like this; because of its automated nature it was using algorithms to determine what news items it would display. Apparently this is terrible because the pundits who present the news want to be able to choose which news items to blow out of all proportion, and which ones to quietly ignore. Letting a machine do this would be the thin end of the wedge. Apparently.

I came home and took my dog for a walk. He had some fun games with other dogs, and got bashed up by a small thing which took exception to having his tennis ball stolen. Perhaps Fudge will learn the error of his ways.

With our walk done I thne spent much of the rest of the day in bed; such is the down side of a night shift. Mind you it rained pretty much all day so I didn't miss much.

Thursday is saxophone lesson day, and so I went to the music school. For the last time. I've decided to give up the lessons. Realistically whilst my saxing isn't bad, it's not getting any better. I'm struggling to find time to practice, re-arranging shifts to allow for the lessons is a pain, and giving them up will give me fifty quid a month which I can squander on something else.

Saxophoning was fun, but the novelty has worn off. I wonder what I can do next...

13 May 2015 (Wednesday) - The Vet Says...

I woke up shivering at 4am; an alliance of "er indoors ^TM" and "Furry Face ^TM" had stolen all the covers. I hoiked then back, and got sworn and growled at for my troubles. I eventually got warm again, and got up shortly after 7am to a glorious morning. I had a look-see on social media to see what was new. Very little, really.

There's been an odd smell about the house lately; I had a theory it was the carpet in the back lobby so I hung that carpet out on the washing line to air and then took "Furry Face ^TM" for a walk. As we came past the lake a startled squirrel shot up a tree and from the safety of height he glared at my dog. Fudge was blissfully unaware of the squirrel. However he had seen a family of ducks and he flew at them. There was a male, two females and a gaggle of baby ducks. They didn't run from the dog. They stood their ground, and Fudge skidded to a halt as he realised that something wasn't quite right.

He looked at the ducks in amazement and they returned his gaze. I thought they looked quite threatening; I suppose they were protecting the babies. The stand-off lasted for a few seconds before Fudge lost interest and ran off to harrass the local fishermen.

We did encouter one nutter who warned my dog to beware of trees because they are bigger than him, but otherwise todays' walk was one of the less eventful ones.

We came home and with a few minutes to spare I got out Steve's pressure washer and with no obvious way to connect the water inlet to the mains water supply I flooded the bathroom. I then had a vague idea that he thing might suck water from a reservoir so I filled the bath but that didn't work either.

The obvious answer is to buy a proper connector so's I could bodge the hose pipe onto the tap. but with little time to spare I put it all away. I'll have another look tomorrow.

I then took "Furry Face ^TM" to the vets for his check-up. Not entirely the clean bill of health I was hoping for... Regular readers of this drivel may recall his slipped disc of last year and his subsequent visit to SuperVet.

The vet was concerned that whilst not any worse, his back isn't actually getting any better. Our long walks aren't hurting him, but vet says that (with immediate effect) he's not allowed to go up or down stairs any more. And he's not to jump up or down either. This puts paid to his coming up in the night and sleeping on our bed. With that in mind I settled him in his basket and took myself off to bed as ssomething of a prelude to the upcoming night shift.

I went to bed at 1pm with the alarm set for 6pm. I woke at 3.20pm. I shall be tired later. It's a shame I can't sleep to order.

I came downstairs and watched vintage episodes of Doctor Who. I stopped Fudge from jumping up and lifted him onto the sofa next to me. As Patrick Troughton did battle with Ice Warriors so my dog snored unaware of the peril. I then realised we hadn't programmed the SkyPlus box to allow for our new router. That took far longer than it should have done.

I'd forgotten I put put the lobby carpet out on the line to air; I put that back where it belonged, had a spot of tea, and now I'm off to the night shift...

12 May 2015 (Tuesday) - Back to the Tip

My dog is supposed to spend the night in his basket. Usually he creeps upstairs and I wake to fiind I'm holding him. If he's quiet I really don't mind him coming up. But last night he wasn't quiet. He was restless and wouldn't settle. I gave him until 3am to quieten down then I carried him to his basket; I wanted *some* sleep.

I managed a few hours sleep, got up, and after a rather swift brekkie got on with the business of the day. Today was very much a continuation of yesterday. First off me and my pup went for our morning constitutional. And this time I remembered to do the geo-maintenance that I didn't do yesterday.

At the risk of having a whinge I did wonder why I bothered. Both caches that I maintained today need a bit of effort on the part of the finder before being able to complete them. One was last found six months ago; the other over a year ago. For all that the general tupperware-hunting fraternity publically look down on a film pot stashed under a rock, it's the simple film pots under rocks that get found more often. Over the last year or so I've put out caches which need a bit of effort to complete (Wherigos annd puzzles), and each one is rarely found more than once or twice a month.

Yesterday I mentioned the scantily-clad young mother we met. We didn't see her today. Instead we found ourselves followed by a rather sour-faced young mother who followed our steps from home to Park Farm; all the time shrieking at little Ronnie about how late they were going to be.

I felt rather sorry for poor little Ronnie.

We came home via the vets; my furry associate was due flea treatment and worming tablets. Whilst there I booked his M.O.T. for tomorrow,, then we came home. Yesterday afternoon I'd got another car-load of rubbish ready for the tip and so I took it to the tip.

I didn't quite point and laugh whilst at the tip, but I must admit it came close. Have you ever been to the tip? I'm sure you get the general gist of the concept. You've got a lot of messy rubbish to chuck into some rather grubby skips. You don't go in your Sunday best. Leastways I don't.

One rather silly woman was there clothed in radiant white; trying to hold her rubbish at arms length. She was getting visibly grubbier by the second. She knew that she was getting visibly grubbier by the second, and she was getting rather cross about it.

Over lunch I watched a film I'd recorded onto the SkyPlus box. I can remember "The Virgin Soldiers" being rather entertaining. My memory isn't what it once was; the film was dire. I turned it off after half an hour, and went back into the garden. It wasn't long before I had another car load for the tip.

This tip load had come from clearing the patio. I then had a hankering for giving that patio a serious scrub, so I went to B&Q to get a jet-washer. The nice lady assistant was very helpful, and helped me choose exactly what I needed.

I then took my £150+ worth of kit to the checkout. There were three checkouts in use, so I joined the queue. No one else joined the queue after me, and when I got to the checkout the girl at my till got up and walked away. The other two checkout girls then started gossiping and made a point of ignoring me. I waited for two minutes and then walked out; leaving my potential purchases on the counter.

As I walked out the gossiping checkout girls asked if they could help me. I told them they could have, but they had had their chance and had blown it.

I dozed for much more of the remainder of the afternoon than I would have liked to have done, and after turning up too early in Arden Drive I went round to Steve's to borrow his jet-washer. I shall play with that tomorrow...

11 May 2015 (Monday) - Busy Day

For some odd reason I had a strange dream that I spent much of the night hanging off the edge of the bed. I woke to find I was not. I wonder what that was all about.

I got up and had brekkie; "Furry Face ^TM" got up two minutes too late to get any toast. "Last of the Summer Wine" was on telly. It passed a few minutes. I narrowly avoided yet another squabble on Facebook, then took my dog for a walk.

The plan was to take the new path to Willesborough Dykes, cross the railway and come home through Newtown. On the waay I was planning to do a little geo-maintenance on two of my less-often-found geocaches. It was only when we were nearly home that I remembered that plan.

Mind you we did meet up with a scantily-clad young mother who maade a point of stopping and fussing Fudge. The littlle that her meagre attire did keep covered was more than flopped out when she bent down to see my dog.

Here's hoping we meet her again(!)

Once home I put some washing in, and set about mucking out the fish pond filter. A smelly job, but one that needs doing. And having raised a stink I then mowed the lawn. One load of laundry went onto the line; another load went in the machine, and I had a look-see in the shed. I was amazed at how much rubbish I managed to muck out. With less than a quarter of the shed's contents investigated I already had a car full of rubbish to take to the tip. So I did a tip run.

The tip was surprisingly busy for a Monday lunchtime. It would be a lot less busy if people just threw their rubbish inn the skips. But people don't; so many people feel they have to kiss goodbye to every scrap they take to the tip. Why can't they just bung the bag in the skip? Why do they have to throw each bit in piece by piece, reminiscing as they go?

More laundry went onto the washing line; undercrackers then went in to scrub. Over lunch I watched the last episode of "The Stand". The SkyPlus box said it would play for two hours; by the time I'd fast-forwarded through the adverts it was much less than that.

The lawn still looked scrappy, so I gave it another mow, and sorted more rubbish out of the shed. I was amazed at whaat I found; I had no idea I had so much in that shed. Scoobies, frisbees, roofing felt, dead mice; I've another car load for the tip tomorrow and I've still only sorted out less than half of the shed's contents.

Having found frisbees I took "Furry Face ^TM" for a walk to see if he could play frisbee. He eats tennis balls, and several people have commented that we might get on better with a frisbee. We tried; it was a disaster. He would chase the frisbee, but on catching it he would then try to eat it. He got rather possessive over the thing and was very aggressive to other dogs when they came near it. I had to have serious words with him.

We won't be playing frisbee again.

What with having had such a busy day I was rather exhausted by the time "er indoors ^TM" went off to bowling. But Monday night is telly night. Gotham is on soon, and then it will be time for Game of Thrones.

#getyourtitsoutdaenerystargaryen