25 September 2015 (Friday) - Banham Zoo

Another restless night unfortunately. But at least today there was no one else in the guest house to whom we had to be polite. As we scoffed a rather good Full English we watched the deer in the distance from the conservatory window.

We were soon ready for the off. We went (via a few geo-targets) to Banham Zoo. Many years ago when holidaying in Felixstowe with the fruits of my loin we had a day trip to Banham Zoo and I could remember it being a really good day out. So seeing it was only half an hour's drive (or so) away we thought we'd have a look-see.

By the time we'd finished geo-mucking-about we arrived at the zoo shortly before mid day. I was initially shocked at the cost; forty quid to get the pair of us in there seemed a tad extreme but in retrospect we got our money's worth.

There were all sorts of animals there; big and small. And you could get up-close with a lot of them. The meerkats were really good, as were the mongooses (mongeese?). The otters were noisy. the lemurs were sweet. The penguins were all on their nests. "er indoors ^TM" took a really good video of the giraffes which was marred only by my declaration (toward the end) of "Christ!!! - Look at the size of that zebra's cock". Perhaps I am naive but I didn't realise just how well endowed the average zebra is.

We had a cream tea and watched a cheetah devour half a cow's leg. Then we walked round the place again. The zoo was laid out in such a way that for all that it is not huge, it seems a lot larger than it actually is. We'd been there for over four hours before realising there were camels and tigers.

I went there thinking it might be a good way to spend a couple of hours; we were in there for over five hours. We only left because the place was closing.

We came home thinking we'd pick up a few random geocaches on the way back to base, and that we might find a pub for dinner as we drove. We found several random caches including one quite a way up a tree (and another Wherigo too) but we didn't randomly find a pub. So instead we took a recommendation from our current landlord.

The Shoulder of Mutton in Strumpshaw is an odd place. I walked in and took an instand dislike to the thug who was falling about at the bar whilst shouting obscenities. They I saw the barrels on the bar from which the ale was poured directly. Bearing in mind that time was pushing on and that we were hungry we stayed and had cod and chips. The food was *really* good, but of all the places we've visited over this holiday so far, this place is far and away the worst. Leaving aside the fact that the waitress couldn't keep up, this place needs to decide what it is. At the one end (where we were) is a haute cuisine restaurant. At the other end the thugs are competing to see who can shout the F-word the loudest. You can't successfully cater to both markets....

I took loads of photos today, once we were back at the guest house I popped them on-line as we slobbed about what I have come to see as our personal lounge. I took a few photos of the place.

Apparently some other normal people are staying. I'm told I shall meet them soon... I'm not sharing this lounge.

24 September 2015 (Thursday) - Great Yarmouth (and elsewhere)

Being in a different bed, I didn't sleep that well. I saw every hour of the night. I was just about to give up with sleeping and go have my morning ablutions when I heard another resident of our guest house go into the bathroom. He (she or it) was in there for half an hour. What were they doing? When they finally finished I went in and was done in five minutes.

Brekkie was very good; marred only by having to make polite conversation with the other people who were staying in the place. As we scoffed we commented on the rain. The weather forecast said it would be finished soon.

With brekkie scoffed the rain showed no signs of abating. So with complete confidence in the BBC's weather forecast we set off on our planned mission for the day. We started off with a little geo-nonsense. The UK's most easterly geocache is in Lowestoft. It would be daft not to get this one as it was (relatively) so close. It only took half an hour or so to get to Lowestoft where (despite the rain) we got not only the most easterly cache but also the most easterly multi-cache and the most easterly church micro too.

As the weather cheered up we then combined geo-nonsense and playing tourist by visiting Burgh castle where we did a Wherigo. Burgh castle was an odd place; little more than a wall in a field. I felt sorry for the passing normal people who were obviously trying to hang round us as our Wherigo cartridge was giving us far more touristy information than the normal people were otherwise able to glean.

From Burgh castle we went into Great Yarmouth to visit the Sea Life centre. It was excellent. All sorts of sea-going beasts were on display. I was in raptures over a crocodile and "er indoors ^TM" got bitten of off a shrimp. But the highlight of the place had to be the penguins. We watched their antics for ages. Did you know that they bray like donkeys?

After an age we moved on. We wandered up and down the prom but (to be honest) I was a little disappointed with Great Yarmouth. I was born and bred in a seaside tourist town, and the only difference between any of them is the name on the rubbish that is sold to the tourists. Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying Great Yarmouth is bad. Far from it. But I was expecting something different and it is (in essence) just like Weymouth, Brighton, Eastbourne, Hastings, Folkestone and all the rest.

Mind you I was disappointed with Amazonia. I'd been looking forward to seeing the reptiles; the place had clearly been shut down for months.

With a little time on our hands we then drove up the coast to Kelling for a walk. And on the way home we were getting a tad peckish so we thought that we'd take pot luck and find a pub at random for dinner. As luck would have it we found the Brickmaker's in Horsford. We were fortunate; Thursday night is steak night. It took two pints of their (rather good) ale to wash down the plate of steak and chips.

If any of my loyal readers are ever north of Norwich I can thoroughly recommend this place.

We got back to the guest house shortly after 8.30pm to find we were seemingly "home alone" so we slobbed about in the sitting room. I took loads of photos whilst we were out; I eventually got them on-line. If I have anything bad to say about this guest house, it is that the wi-fi is a bit iffy...

23 September 2015 (Wednesday) - Off to Norfolk

Yesterday I had a whinge about why Addenbrookes hospital was in special measures. Here's another reason.; the wanton profiteering of the drugs companies. One such comapy has put of the cost of one of its products from $13.50 to $750 for no other reason than that they could.

Perhaps NHS pharmacies might start making their own drugs and cutting out the commercial compaines altogether?

In the last day or so I also whinged at the amount of accusations of child abuse being made against children which later prove to be unfounded. Today over brekkie I was reading that eighty per cent of the prosecutions brought by the RSPCA fail to end in a conviction. There is talk of removing the RSPCA's right to prosecute as they too clearly seem to delight in making baseless allegations.

And just as I was launching into serious rant mode I had a message; my lego Advent calendar will be delivered next week. That left me in a better frame of mind to start on the morning's chores.

A bit of cleaning, a bit of laundry, a few deliveries and a tip run, then I took "Furry Face ^TM" for a short walk. We passed the vets, and as we often do we popped in and sat in the waiting room for a few minutes. Bearing in mind how terrified he was in the place only two days ago it was amazing how he didn't bat an eyelid as we went in today. Where I usually battle to get him (and keep him) on the scales he jumped on of his own accord and sat quietly.

We walked round past the Riverside Inn. The field there has a transient horse population. Some days there are no horses at all. Last week I counted six. Today there were over a dozen horses there. Where do they come from? Where do they go?

Once home I packed my bits and pieces and waited for "er indoors ^TM" to return. Once she was home we loaded the car and set off on our adventure.

In planning our route to holiday-land I'd seen there was a virtual geocache only a couple of miles away from where we were driving, so (after a hundred miles) as we came into Cambridgeshire we turned off. We needed to stretch our legs a little, and a little walk up to a trig point seemed like a good idea.

The description for the virtual cache said there would be sheep in the field. There were Highland cattle. With great big horns. But they seemed friendly enough and didn't bother me as I crossed their field to do the secret virtual-geo-ritual.

To be honest virtual geocaches are so obscure I wouldn't turn down the chance to get one; after all I expect I can run faster than a cattle.

Back to the car, and after another sixty miles we were skirting Norwich and in the village of Postwick which is pronounced (by some) as "Possick". We found the B&B... eventually. The post code took us half way along a country lane. The instructions were to keep going until the lane became a dirt track then follow the dirt track. About a mile past the point at which I decided that we must have made a mistake we found our temporary home.

It's a really lovely cottage miles from anywhere. We settled in, and the landlord told us of a rather good pub not ten minutes up the road. We soon found The Yare in Brundall, and before we went in we went to hunt down a geocache which the app said was only a hundred yards away. We soon had it. And (would you beleive?) having driven a hundred and sixty miles, the last person to find it was a fellow regular at the Kent cachers' meetings.

Dinner was excellent; as was the two pints of ale that washed it down. We had a minor hiccup in finding our way back to base, but that's one of the problems of being based in the back of beyond.

But we soon pulled up. A quick shower, and now we're slobbing about in a rather luxurious lounge. I shall make myself a coffee in a minute...

22 September 2015 (Tuesday) - Tribble-ations

After a rather restless night mostly spent tangled in the hose of my CPAP machine I got up and watched the latest episode of "South Park". It is now up to series nineteen and... I won't say that it isn't funny any more but I got the distinct impression that if you aren't up on current affairs in the US then most of the show will go over your head. I then watched the end of "Toddlers and Tiaras" in which the winners were very happy and the losers were not.

With a few minutes before having to leave for work I quickly checked my emails. Amazon (dot com) recommended that I might like to download the ebook "Brideshead Revisited" because it was simular to something I'd downloaded before; namely the ebook "Brideshead Revisited" (!)

The rain was rather torrential as I drove to work. And as usual I listened to the radio. Hate campaigners are trying to forment civil unrest by circulating rumours that the British Legion has decided not to sell poppies in certain areas in order not to upset the minorities. It turns out that this is all lies. If poppies aren't being sold anywhere it is because no one in that area is volunteering to sell them.

Perhaps those who stir the hatred might be better employed selling poppies.

There was a lot of talk about the dire straits in which Addenbrookes hospital is finding itself. Once a world leader it is now in "special measures". A lot of hospitals are now in these special measures; mostly for ridiculous financial reasons. And they really are ridiculous reasons.

Hospitals are supposed to be run like businesses these days. However if a proper business like B&Q, Amazon or even a lady of loose morals (to name three at random) gets a customer they provide a service or a product and present the customer with a bill. Hospitals don't work that way. They get a customer (patient) and provide their service for free then tell the Government what services they have provided. The Government then says it cost too much, gives a fraction of what the actual cost was, and then wonders why hospitals are all over-spent.

Equally laughable are moves by the English Bridge Union to have the card game "bridge" re-classified as a sport. Sport England had told them to get knotted and have made the accusation that there are hundreds of bridge clubs up and down the country who are just trying to milk money out of Sport England.

After two hours I finally got to work. A journey which normally takes forty minutes was somewhat delayed by five seperate floods across the road. Once at work I did my bit, and had a much easier journey home.

Once home I walked "Furry Face ^TM" round the block, we had a rather good omelette then set off to Folkestone. We terrorised the baby in his ball pool for a few minutes, then went on to the Tuesday gathering of the clans. The ChromeCast was a little under the weather, but we played a few games, then made ourselves feel sick through eating too many sweeties and watched Captain Kirk being inundated with tribbles.

Quality stuff....

21 September 2015 (Monday) - More Baseless Lies

This morning over a bit of brekkie I read that the police have dropped one of the investigations they are conducting about Sir Cliff Richard on the grounds that there was no truth in the allegations whatsoever. The poor chap has had these baseless lies hanging over his head for a year since the police first raided his home (when he wasn't there). Apparently Sir Cliff found out that he was being investigated through the media rather than being told directly. And for all that it's all over the papers, Sir Cliff hasn't been formally charged with anything.

Whilst there is nothing worse than "interfering" with children, as time goes on it would seem that there's also not much that is actually rarer. I've lost count of the amount of celebrities who have had their careers and reputations ruined by baseless allegations.

Perhaps the law might be changed in such a way that reporters can't comment on allegations until the accused has been found guilty in a court of law.

I put the lead on my dog and we set off early for our morning walk; as we went up the road we saw a bus trying to do an about-turn. I have absolutely no idea what a bus wold want to do an about turn but it was causing serious traffic chaos as it did.

We then went on through Bowens Field where, having ignored a dozen cyclists my dog then went mental at the next one. Sometimes I wonder what goes through his head.

We made our way to the vets; someone was due for a booster shot. I walk him in there at least once most weeks. We go into the waiting area, sit for a bit and come out. When we are not seeing the vet there is no problem. When we are seeing the vet he knows. I had to drag him in to the place this morning, and once in the place he cowered under the benches. As he cowered I got chatting with a chap who'd brought in a ferret with a sore foot. My dog's terror of the vet was no match for his jealousy and he soon came out from under the bench too see what he was missing.

We were called in to see the vet; "Furry Face ^TM" was dragged in. I lifted him onto the vet's table and caught him in mid-air as he immediately leapt off. The vet was really good with him. I told her that he seems rather quieter than usual lately. She gave him a serious going over and couldn't find any problems. She suggested the problem might be a combination of a historic bad back and not being as young as he once was. I expect there's a lot of truth in that.

He got his booster injection, and we came home to find we'd had a letter thorugh the door. I say "letter"; it was a flyer from "Nationwide Cleaners" telling us how a cleaner could save us valuable time. It's no secret that I don't live in the tidieest of houses. Having someone to sort the mess would be handy.

Until I saw their prices. Ten quid per hour. Ten quid !!!! Am I just being mean?

As I drove to work Women's Hour was on the radio. Perhaps I'm just a sexist pig but I usually find that show generally supercilious and patronising. As I tuned in they were starting an expose on erectile dysfunction which I found to be presented in a rather insulting sort of way. I formed the distinct impression that erectile dysfunction was being presented as yet another thing that men did wrong purely to annoy women.

This was followed by a pre-recorded interview with the late Jackie Collins (she died over the weekend) who was reading some of the raunchier extracts of her books. Call me old fashioned if you will but in my world there is no space for caressing nipples on national radio at 10.30am.

I stopped off in Morrisons for apples and bananas, then went on to Go Outdoors for some new trainers. They weren't cheap but hopefully they will last a little while. I have a twenty-eight day no quibble return period so we shall see.

And then to work. And as is so often the way when on the late shift, all of note in my day was over and done with by 11am...

20 September 2015 Sunday) - Hawkinge, Vets

As is so often the way, after an ale or two I didn't sleep well last night. I was up and eating cornflakes whilst watching "South Park" at 3am in an attempt to settle my wayward stomach.

It settled (after a fashion); I went back to bed. However my sleep was marred by vivid dreams in which I had been called into work because I had recently been to London for a day's parasitology course (which I had) and my wisdom was required. In my slumbers an associate had gone bright yellow having contracted the rather rare strain of "bastard malaria".

I finally gave up with the idea of sleep shortly after 7am and watched "Toddlers and Tiaras" over toast and coffee. That settled my stomach far more than cornflakes ever did.

As I was prepping "Hannah" for the day I had a message. Yesterday we spent the evening at a geo-camping event. Nick's phone had been charging in the car as we sat chatting. This morning - disaster. Nick's keys had gone missing. "er indoors ^TM" had a look in the car as I prepared to drive back out to Yalding to deliver them, but they weren't in our car.

For all that we breathed a sigh of relief I can't help but wonder where the errant keys went.

"Furry Face ^TM" seemed rather subdued this morning; only nibbling at his breakfast. Usually when he sees me getting backpack and walking boots together he gooes mental, but not today. Perhaps he was worn out with yesterday's excitement. But subdued dogs notwitstanding we got ourselves together and set off to the south coast.

We had plans to walk three shorter geo-serieses today, and so we drove out to Hawkinge to start the "Up on the Downs" series. Billed as a walk of two and a half miles the plan was to do this and another series before lunch, and then move on to Samphire Hoe for the afternoon.

We started our walk with a little diversion into Hawkinge itself, and then went on to the country lanes. We saw rabits and pheasants and fox poo. The walk was rather scenic; I took a few photos whilst we were there. But as for a geocaching walk.... I don't want to be negative, it wasn't a bad walk. In fact looking back it was actually a rather good one. And in his defence the chap who'd put the series out did say he'd never had much to do with the outdoors and that he was new to hiding tupperware... but...

I had a couple of trivial issues with the series. Personally I would have put more caches along the route; I would have had more caches at places where you change directions and footpaths just to make that change more obvious. And I would question the published distance. Billed as two and a half miles, three GPS units measured it at a shade under four miles.

However I would say that the first geocache could have been worked differently. The puzzle was was overly complicated and the final co-ordinates were some two miles away and weren't actually on the walk. The final location involved a little detour from the circuit of about half a mile. I would have done it differently.

But I'm probably just being picky here. The chap who'd put the caches out had obviously put a lot of time and effort into providing me with a walk around places I've never been before, and for all that I might whinge, I am very grateful for his efforts.

As we walked we noticed a little blood on Suzy-pup's side. We stopped and looked closer. There was a gash in her side about an inch long. So rather than carrying on into Alkham we abandoned our plans for the rest of the day and drove to the vets in Folkestone. In addition to the gash the vet found two puncture wounds. We are pretty sure she ripped her side on barbed wire; either when chasing pheasants, or when falling out of a tree (it's a dog thing).

The poor pup didn't seem overly bothered but had we carried on she would have got the wound infected. The vet closed the gash with three staples and put a "bucket of shame" over Suzy-pup's head and ordered rest, so we cut the day short and came home.

Once home "er indoors ^TM" drove "My Boy ^TM" up to the hospital. Cheryl's back had been getting more and more painful. She is booked for surgery for a slipped disc, and having been to the Accident & Emergency department she'd been told she could have the surgery today.

After a few hours of waiting around she was told things weren't as urgent as they seemed and she was back on the waiting list and sent home again.

And with "er indoors ^TM" off bowling I was left "home alone" with my dog. He seemed really quiet, and as I did the ironing I had to turn the telly up over the sound of his snoring.

He's laying asleep next to me now; he sees absolutely knackered. He has got an appointment with the vet himself tomorrow. I shall ask them if I'm fussing about him unduly...

19 September 2015 (Saturday) - Teapot Island

I was rather later getting going than I might have been today. What with having swapped duties around (I'm accommodating like that) I've just worked four nights out of the last six. Perhaps that's why I was tired.

Over brekkie I had a look-see on-line. The rugby world cup has kicked off (does rugby kick off?) and I'm not going to dare to say a word against it. I will however ask the question that why is it acceptable that everyone else can openly sneer at any pastime I enjoy (such as hiking, saxophoning, geocaching, home brewing, playing cards, astronomising, kite-flying, camping) whilst if I say a word against organised sport, serious offence is taken?

I can distinctly remember a rather nasty incident a few years ago when a chap I thought was a good friend had been lambasting me about some sad Trekkie cards I was collecting at the time. I then mentioned something about "Mighty Morphing Queens Park Rangers" and I was told in no uncertain terms that were I not a good friend of his sister in law he would have knocked me out. (This was no joke - he was serious)

Today is also national "Talk like a Pirate Day". I've mentioned this in previous years. It is a silly game which has run its course though; even the official website has gone. The replacement's not really been updated for some time either, which is a shame.

I got dressed; putting on a pair of the new pants I'd bought in Morrisons the other day. There is something wonderful about having pants with functioning elastic. I then took "Furry Face ^TM" for a walk. We went round to the park; normally I avoid this place on Saturday mornings because of all the joggers. Today we were alittle later than usual and most (nearly all) of them had gone home.

My dog played nicely with some other dogs; I wish he'd do that more often. More and more these days he just ignores other dogs.

We came home, and I spent another couple of hours working on my next Wheri-project. It took that long to get a mythical beast to ask a riddle. I say "that long"; perhaps "at least that long" might be more accurate. I've not got it to work correctly in the simulator yet.

Being at something of a loose end for the day I looked on the geo-map and had a stroke of inspiration. There was a canoe-ing geo-event scheduled to end up at Teapot Island this evening so we thought we might pop in. We arrived at Teapot Island, solved a geo-puzzle, failed on a Wherigo and being three hours too early for the geo-meet we retired to the riverside pub and downed ale and watched the world go by for a while.

When the time was right we wandered over to the camp site and helped the canoeists ashore, then helped get the barbecue fire going. And we had a frankly wonderful evening just sitting and chatting as it got darker and darker.

I slept all the way home...