7 June 2015 (Sunday) - After the Night Shifts

With another night shift done I made my way home. In years gone by I used to grumble about the night work. Nowadays I think I prefer the night work to the day work. Being on my own for most of the shift, the job itself is more varied, and I can work at my own pace and in my own way. And being a longer shift (than the day shifts) I actually do less of them.
I *could* have listened to the radio as I drove home, but I'd had the radio on all night. What with documentaries about the failings of the Labour party, a play based on the Barchester Chronicles, pretentious quizzes, even more pretentious drivel about poetry, dull reports from the Moscow correspondent and opinionated ranting about healthy eating (to say nothing of the shipping forecast and the farmers' round-up) I think it fair to say I'd had enough of the radio.
Instead I listened to the random music I had stored on my phone. Sparks, Queen, the Dickies, ELO, Kate Bush, B.A. Robertson, quality stuff (!)

I came home expecting to have to navigate around road closures; last week I'd seen notices that the main road through Ashford was going to be closed. The council had advertised a phone number from which to get information about the road closure. I'd rung it, and been asked to leave a phone number on which they could get back to me with directions. They hadn't.
I drove home rather hoping that diversions would be signposted. They weren't. The road wasn't closed at all, but the signs saying it *would* be closed were still in place. I wonder what all that was about.

Once home I thought I'd get a little shut-eye. I woke at mid day to find I was cuddling my dog like he was a teddy bear and to find that "er indoors TM" had gone to Bluewater with her posse. I had my breakfast for lunch and then thought I might take "Furry Face TM" for a walk.
We did our usual circuit of Bowens Field, Viccie Park and Co-op field. As we walked into the park I got a fit of the giggles. There was a gaggle of schoolgirls (aged about twelve I suppose) loitering as young girls do. One of them had her arms crossed under her not insubstantial bosom and was using her crossed arms to wield her chest to its best effect. A yound lad (also aged about twelve) came up on his scooter and stopped about three feet away from her. He blatently looked her up and down, gave a very piercing wolf-whistle and loudly announced "Nice tits".
We walked away just as the fist fight started.

There were lots more children and teenagers in the park; all running riot as they do. As well as using the "F" word a lot, they seem to now have a new insult. Apparently calling someone a "fannywhacker" is fighting talk. Once lives and learns.

With our walk done I spent an hour or so working on my next presentation to the astro club. An as-yet unnamed talk (provisionally designated as "Why Comets Are Crap") it explores the various reasons why comets are crap. I thought I'd better get on with it; circumstances might necessitate it's being ready earlier than planned.
I didn't get as much done as I was hoping; a hot day added to being post night shift had taken its toll. I went back to bed for another couple of hours until "er indoors TM" came home and boiled up a rather good bit of scoff which we devoured whilst watching "Thunderbirds". She then had a little lie-down and my piss boiled somewhat...

In years gone by my nutty neighbour would listen at the wall for hours on end. He'd give the fact away by often stopping me in the street and giving me his opinion on whatever we'd been discussing the night before. If ever I had a difference of opinion with "Daddies Little Angel TM" (it happened occassionally - would you beleive it) he would call out the social workers because he found raised voices to be distressing.
He spent an hour or so this evening shrieking at his wife who is (apparently) only still with him because she's too proud to go back to Japan.
This happens all the time. I once called out the emergency psychiatrist (they actually exist) to come see him. I was told that although he was highly stressed he wasn't actually clinically insane.
Sometimes I wonder if we might revisit that diagnosis.

Time to wake "er indoors TM" - we're off to the airport to collect "My Boy TM".


6 June 2015 (Saturday) - Between the Night Shifts

As I drove home from last night's night shift this story in the news made me snigger. Yesterday an ISIS jihadi posted a selfie on-line. US forces were able to locate landmarks in the selfie, and within an hour or so of the photo going on-line the Americans had bombed that jihadi; and the (up till then) secret base from which the selfie had been taken.

Once home I turned on my lap-top. After yesterday's day of intensive PC maintenance I was hoping for great things from it. In retrospect I was expecting too much. I had been hoping that the thing would have been transformed into HAL-9000. I suppose it is noticeably faster, but I still get warnings about unresponsive scripts. That was one of the main things I'd been trying to fix.
Various windows still keep freezing too. I wish they wouldn't.

We then took "Furry Face TM" on a little walk down through Park Farm and home via "LegoLand" and South Willesborough;pausing only briefly to chase frogs at Willesborough Dykes and at at Asda for Belgian buns. Asda Belgian buns are smaller than those touted by Morrisons, and slightly more expensive. Not that I'm an expert on the matter.
Once home I barrelled the forty pints of home-brew, had a quick shower, scoffed the bun for lunch and took myself off to bed for the afternoon.

I slept well; I would have slept longer had "Furry Face TM" not been barking at the neighbours. He seems to have taken a dislike to the new people. A shame really as they seem to be a great improvement on some that we've had over the years.

The day between night shifts is usually dull; and this one was no exception. I'm off to another night shift now...

5 June 2015 (Friday) - Laptop Maintenance

After a rather busy day yesterday rounded off with a walk, a late dinner and a bottle of plonk I suppose its not surprising that I slept well. I woke, pootled about, had brekkie and watched an episode of "Are You Being Served" all before my dog woke up. He was tired too.

I then got a bit stressy with my laptop. The old thing's being getting slower; it had almost reached the point of being unusable. But what with having already bought a pressure washer and "Hannah" recently the budget won't realistically stretch to a new laptop for a little while. So instead I got the AVG 1-click maintenance software. AVG antivirus has always been good in the past so I thought I'd see if this bit of kit might do the trick. After a bit of farting about setting it up it then did its thing. I left it doing so, and I took "Furry Face TM" for a walk.

Since the fun fair is in Viccie Park at the moment, we walked round to Frog's Island. As we walked I had a fit of the giggles. My dog was sniffing round a fence, utterly oblivious to the cat which was stalking him from the top of the fence. He sniffed and the cat stalked for at least five minutes before I finally got bored with the game.
As we walked there was a sign about a footbridge being replaced. I shall have to keep an eye out. Not only is that footbridge rather vital in our walks to the South Willesborough area, I've also hidden a geocache underneath it.
As we came home a small girl marched up to my dog, announced "Hello Fudge" and started stroking him much to the dismay of her mother. Mother then started shrieking about how on Earth was the child now going to wash her hands. At first thought I took offence, but before I could tell Mother to wind her neck in I realised that (bearing in mind "Furry Face TM"'s prediliction for fox poo) Mother probably had a valid point.

Once home I had a look to see what AVG 1-click maintenance had been up to. It claimed it had cured 228 problems in my registry, fixed 230 broken shortcuts, sorted 2290 program errors and had implemented no end of recommendations.
I suppose it's going to say that; after all it's hardly going to claim that there's nothing much to do. It's not going to tell me that I've wasted my time installing the thing, is it?
I then set it scanning the drives and went to the dentist. In a fit of forgetfulness I forgot I had a dentist appointment booked for last Tuesday and had re-scheduled for today.

I was told I was lucky to get seen today; I arrived to find they'd replaced the front desk. Again. I go there once every six months (on average) and every time they seem to have done something with the front desk. They also got a new receptionist. Whilst admirably (and demonstrably) equipped in the chest departtment her dental receptionist skills seemed sadly lacking. I suppose one can't have everything.
I eventually got checked in and it wasn't long before the dentist had a rummage in in my gob. He did some X-rays and announced that all seemed well.
I've got to go see the dental hygenist in a few weeks time. Once the dentist himself would do all that; nowadays he has a lackey to do it for him.

I came home to find my drives were still being scanned. Pausing only briefly to stop "Furry Face TM" rolling in a dead sparrow that the cats had left in the garden I then scoffed a spot of lunch whilst watching "Secret Diary of a Call Girl", and then took myself off to bed for the afternoon. Usually I get off to sleep right away; not so this afternoon. It was rather hot, and the claps of thunder just as I was nodding off didn't help. But I eventually managed a few hours kip before my dog's snoring woke me; I'd forgotten to close the stair gate and he'd sneaked up.

I came down to find the disks of my laptop had finally finished scanning. So I had a cuppa, and I'm off to see "Daddies Little Angel TM". She's said she'll cook my tea before the night shift.
Cooking my tea... She's twice this week posted on Facebook about "Share this if you love your Dad".
That girl is up to something.


4 June 2015 (Thursday) - Busy Day

I slept like a log last night; I have no idea why I was so tired. I woke this morning, had my fix of sad TV, then checked out the Internet. The spaceship model used in"Blake's Seven" was up for sale on eBay. With two weeks still to run on the auction, bidding has already reached over thirty thousand pounds.

I then put "Furry Face TM"'s lead on him and we went for a walk. I had intended to go out planning a new geo-walk today, but with my last three plans scuppered and plenty else to do at home I thought better of the idea. So we went round to Singleton Lake where my dog narrowly avoided being bashed up by geese. We came home through the park where we caused mayhem with various other dogs. As we crossed the co-op field we met OrangeHead. Being on her own she was friendly and civil. The moment her chunky little friend arrived she became very aloof.
Usually girls grow out of that when they leave school.

Once home I put on some seriously old clothes and set about the garden. The fish pond filter had blocked up so I ran out the hose to top up the pond, and scrubbed out the gungy filter. Oh - that thing stinks.
I then mowed the lawn. It had not been mowed for over a week; I *really* shouldn't leave it so long; it grows so fast.
And with the hose pipe run out I got out the pressure washer and zapped a few things around the garden. That pressure washer is a good toy.

I made a flying visit to Tesco, then over lunch watched the first episode of a biographical show about Bob Monkhouse. It was at this point I realised that my dog was still fast asleep. On the rare days when I actually show up at work I worry that he's bored at home. But it seems that after we've had our morning walks he spends most of the rest of the day asleep.

I then had a look at my letter rack. I don't do that anywhere near as often as I should. The bank statements had arrived; I checked through them. Could be better; could be worse. What is money for if not to squander foolishly?
I had a letter from the Kent Messenger people. I did a sponsored walk for them many years ago and every year they ask me to do another. I wish they wouldn’t.
The bill from the water companies was about thirty quid cheaper than it was last year. That’s a result.
My new bank cashpoint card had arrived; the old one had expired four days ago. Woops.
The Aspinall Foundation had written to me again. They always send a quarterly newsletter which I never read, and a quarterly free ticket to the zoo which I never use. I really should start donating money to them again now I’m not quite as skint as once I was.
SightSavers too had sent me their quarterly newsletter; another publication which I never read.
The people who provide the building and contents insurance for the house had sent me a letter which was frankly incomprehensible. I’ve filed it with a pile of similarly incomprehensible letters which I will throw away in the next financial year.
The bank also sent me an "equally clear" letter about changes to their terms and conditions which I also filed.
Legal and General had got wind of the rumour that I might be past my prime and were trying to get me to take out a “when you croak” policy. They can go whistle. I looked into those a while back. My first thought was that if I can’t take it with me then I wouldn’t go. But on realising the impracticality of that I took out a “when you croak” policy with someone else.
I found the voucher for five pounds that Morrison sent me when I last complained. I’ve put that in my wallet so I don’t forget about it again.

I spent a few minutes updating my calendar and e-linking it to my phone. I've got something organised pretty much every weekend from now till the end of August, but I can never remember what it is. Now I should be able to see what I'm doing from my phone.
Next on the list of "To Be Sorted" was the astro club accounts. I started off with balanced books and ended up with fifteen quid more than I should have. If I can't figure out where it's come from I shall just embezzle it and everyone will be happy.

The plan was to then do the ironing but by the time I'd put the hose pipe away and got the washing in from the line the afternoon was all but done. Instead I sparked up "Hannah" and once "er indoors TM" was home we set off for an evening's geo-walk. The weather was too good not to.
A few days ago a series of geocaches had gone live in Chilham; effectively stuffing up the 30+ cache series I had planned to put out in the area. I sulked for a bit, but this evening we went to do those caches. They made for a good walk for the dog. Mind you I did think they were rather spaced out. There were seven caches in the loop; there could have been twenty.

As we came home we saw that a neighbour had put out some teddies for the dustmen. "Furry Face TM" is currently ripping them to pieces.


3 June 2015 (Wednesday) - A Geo-Walk

Over brekkie we had that very rare thing; a laugh-out-loud moment in "Are You Being Served" in which during ballet practice Mr Lucas inadvertently kicked Mr Humphries in the goolies.
It is commonly said that simple things please simple minds, but I found it hilarious.

I then got my gear together for today's walk. "Hannah" (my GPS unit) was fully charged this time. But just in case I had got rechargable batteries which I'd put in to juice up overnight. Are they supposed to get hot as they charge?
I put the lead onto "Furry Face TM", opened the door and saw torrential rain. But the weather forecast for the day was that it was going to be bright so we took a chance. We were right to do so; the rain stopped within five minutes.

Earlier in the week I'd asked if anyone was free for a geo-wander today. Sometimes people are; sometimes they aren't. But Richard had some spare time so we met up in the general vicinity of Orpington and wandered about. Our planned geo-stroll only took a couple of hours so we then went on and did another. We had a really good walk; beautiful views, wonderful scenery. And even a crafty First to Find along the way. I say "first" - there's some chap on-line who's claiming he did the secret geo-dance six hours before us. Perhaps he was; I don't doubt his e-claim but we found a blank log sheet when we arrived. (Rules is rules!)
We did get a few of our geo-sums wrong on the way; some of our mistakes were easily recitfied; others (involving Russian spies) not so. But we had an excellent walk; even if I did forget to take any photos.

I came home and had my fourth go with GSAK. GSAK is an amazing bit of software which does absolutely eveything you could ever ask for (provided you only ever ask for geo-things). There's no denying that I had to phone "er indoors TM" at one point, but on the whole I think I've sussed the software.

The Rear Admiral called round and we went on a minor geo-mission locally; pausing only to meet up with "er indoors TM" for some McDinner. And with half a dozen caches logged we went off to the astro club committee meeting.
It went surprisingly well. Or, not so surprisingly really....

2 June 2015 (Tuesday) - Stuff

Over brekkie I watched yet another episode of "Are You Being Served". Arguably the lamest character in the show (and that's up against some pretty serious competition) Mr Tebbs left to be replaced by Mr Goldberg. As I recall its at about this point in the show's history that it becomes seriously lame.
Mind you I found out today that the actress who played Mr Grace's secretary was (at the time) famous for "flopping them out". I might have mentioned that I'm a staunch supporter of this sort of thing.
As I watched so my "friends" next door had something of a family domestic; shrieking and shouting at 6.30am. In years gone by that chap would listen at the wall and report the squabbles that I and "Daddies Little Angel TM" would have to the council's social workers.
I wonder if he realises that I'm *not* returning the favour.

I then checked out the Internet. The entire nation is up in arms because the winner of "Britain's Got Talent" apparently cheated by using a stunt dog in her performance. I initially was going to pose the question "who cares?" but to the nation's shame evidently millions of people seem to care.
Instead I'll make the observation that the whole stunt dog debacle was probably done deliberately to keep the show in the news.

As I drove to work the Minister for Health was being interviewed on the radio. At the risk of sounding disrespectful, that chap is a master at talking bollocks. Apparently (!) there is a serious shortage of doctors and nurses and so agencies are able to charge a fortune to supply doctors and nurses from their staff.
The Minister for Health thinks this is too expensive and he intends to bring in legislation capping the maximum amount an agency can charge.
Now I thought that his was called "market forces" and that Conservative politicians felt it was a good thing. But what do I know?
It was interesting that the Minister for Health seemed to be oblivious to the fact that there are more people than just doctors and nurses in hospitals. Pharmacists, physiotherapists, podiatrists, radiographers, biomedical scientists, medical coders, porters, painters, cleaners and the like didn't warrant a mention. I wonder if there are shortages amongst those peeople too?
It was also interesting that he pundits on the radio didn't seem to want to take any responsibility for a crisis in NHS staffing; were they not to be constantly running a witch-hunt on every hospital in the country perhaps people might want to work in them?

I stopped off at Morrisons to get all the stuff I forgot yesterday and then went on to work where I did some. I then came home and took "Furry Face TM" round the park for a walk. The fun fair has arrived, and there are caravans full of fun-fair-folk all over the place. We didn't hang around.
On the wayy home we met a small child in full Kung-Fu costume obviously on his way to Karate class. He was "Hi-Ya-ing" in a menacing fashion at everyone and everything he saw... until he saw my dog. It was at that point when he screamed and ran in terror.

Being Tuesday the clans gathered; this time in Somerset Road. Having forgotten to bring the right episode of "The Flash" we played ChromeCast games and watched Doctor Who take on the latest variety of cybermat...


1 June 2015 (Monday) - On the Late Shift

I woke up feeling rather negative this morning, but was pleased to see my beer had started fermenting. Over brekkie I checked out social media. There didn't seem to be much that had changed overnight so once my toast was (painfully) swallowed I took "Furry Face TM" for a walk round the park.

We went through Bowens Field where I once hid a geocache. Yesterdy I had a report that it was missing. I had a look-see. It was fine. They usually are. From heere we took the footpath to Viccie Park. That is I took the footpath. My dog took the cyclepath and ran under the front wheel of an oncoming cyclist. Dog and bike were fine; and bearing in mind the cyclist didn't actually end up in the river I don't see what he was complaining about.

Once at the park I was pollitely greeted by the Nepalese community. They seem to have claimed the picnic area by the Hubert fountain as their own and at most times of the day you will find a gaggle of Ghurkhas there; all minding their own business. This morning half a dozen of them were doing keep fit excercises.
We took a detour to avoid the two old codgers who flatly refuse to stop feeing treats to "Furry Face TM",. and met up with a friendly grey dog escorted by a rather fit lady. Wouldn't mind meeting up with them again(!)

We came home via the co-op field where my dog caused mayhem with a group of other dogs who had hitherto been playing "fetch" nicely. Just as we came to William Road a small child announced loudly to her mother "Look Mummy it's Fudge" and went on to say that Fudge was her favourite dog in the world.
Talking of William Road... Yesterday we noticed that there isn't a house numbered twenty. There's eighteen and twenty-two, and between them is a space plenty large enough for a house. I wonder if it got bombed out during the war. I wonder how a nosey person (such as me) could find out.
Some days our dog walk is dull. Today's made a rather eventful start to the morning.

I fed my dog, settled him down and set off to work maybe a little earlier than I might have done. I went via Folkestone to see the baby. He's not such the baby he once was; like all of them he's growning fast. He now stands up on his own.

I then went to Morrisons for some apples and bananas, and on to the Cheapo-bargains shop. I don't go there anywhere near as often as I used to; I quite miss that place. I didn't really have anything in mind I wanted to buy. I just wanted a mooch. I walked out scoffing a topic at half the price I would have paid elsewhere.
I got to work; and having done some I came home again. A possible geo-wander had been suggested for Wednesday so I set about solving the required puzzles until "Game of Thrones" started. I do like that show; I sometimes have trouble keeping track of which character is which in TV shows. In "Game of Thrones" it's easy. The stars don't "flop them out"; only the bit-part players. You can tell how nudey-dragon-girl's role has increased in importance over the years from the lessening of the floppings out.

Personally I'm a fan of floppings out which probably explains a lot of things...