27 December 2018 (Thursday) - Back to Work

Another restless night; I’m sure being able to breathe would go some way to being able to sleep. Mind you having eaten far too much yesterday probably didn’t help either.

Over some toast I sparked up Netflix and watched an episode of “Bottom” (the Ferris wheel – emergency bitter – Deidre McFrenzy) then had a look at the Internet. Facebook was remarkably busy at half past six on the day after Boxing Day. Quite a few people were selling unwanted Christmas pressies. On the one hand I felt that was rather ungrateful; on the other hand (as I said a few days ago) it’s far better to ask someone what they want before guessing wrongly.

I also checked my in-box. Amazon was suggesting I bought stuff in which I had no interest whatsoever, and LinkedIn was suggesting I chummed up with some bloke who runs an old people’s home in Bromley. (Why?)

I stuck yet another load into the dishwasher, and taking great care to let sleeping dogs (and "er indoors ^TM") lie I set off to work.

Today was rather a ​frosty morning. As I drove I couldn't help but notice how quiet the roads were. Most people were still on their Christmas break. As I drove I listened to the radio. Over the Christmas period Radio Four's news and current affairs program is turned over to a series of guest editors who run a series of articles about whatever nonsense floats their boat. I'm not sure who today's guest editor was, but whoever it was, they clearly had issues. There was a *lot* of talk about environment stuff which are *very* important but saying that "man-made" climate change can only be reversed by “feminist” policies is rather insulting.

They then wheeled on some vicar to blather on for the "Thought for the Day". This chap was banging on about how good the BBC's adaptation of "Watership Down" had been, and he then proceeded to give quite a few spoilers about the show. I've not seen it yet; I wasn't impressed.

I did my bit at work on a rather quiet day and made good time home on rather empty roads. Once home I saw that "er indoors ^TM" had been busy tidying up. She’d also made a rather good turkey curry. We scoffed it whilst watching “The Lady in the Van”; a film I’ve been intending to watch for ages. It was rather good…

26 December 2018 (Boxing Day) - Tribal Gathering

As I walked the dogs home from the park this morning (only one fight – not too shabby) a passing poorly-tattooed skinhead thug had a serious go at me. I was really wrong to have bought two staffie pups for Christmas. As I wondered what he was talking about he continued rating that only a f…. f….f….. gets a puppy for Christmas and I was a seriously f… f… f… for having got two. I considered telling him that they weren’t puppies but were two years old, however judging by how drunk he was (at nine o’clock) I didn’t think it was worth the aggro of getting involved in a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

With dogs walked we tidied up the living room and got as organised as we could. It wasn’t long before the fruits of my loin and their various accomplices were gathered. We nearly had the full tribe together, but oldest grandson was off at his mother’s for the day. We started off with drinks, and then "er indoors ^TM" excelled herself. Two different home-made soups, turkey, spuds, parsnips, carrots, sprouts… far too much to eat. And then chocolate cake and Christmas pudding.

Some then played a few hands of cards, others played “Beat the Flush” ("Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction ^TM" ‘s toilet-based game). We scoffed cheese and pickles until we all felt sick, then had the customary Christmas cigar. I do like a cigar; I have about one every two years these days.

Not a bad day really -I feel incredibly bloated right now…

That’s Christmas done for another year.

25 December 2018 (Christmas Day) - The Evening Was Good...

As I came home last night there was a burglar alarm making noise on the house two door up the road. I reported it to Kent police who (to be fair to them) came out right away. They had a look round the house, didn’t find any burglars, and cleared off leaving the thing still making noise. I phoned the police again at half past eleven. Apparently the police have no control over burglar alarms; it is quite legal and acceptable for a burglar alarm to make noise all night long, but if I go out and clout it with a hammer, that constitutes criminal damage.

New-next-door came home about midnight and all went quiet. Apparently they’d somehow “disconnected” it. I wonder if the alarm survived the process? I hope not.

I didn’t sleep well. When I am wide awake in the small hours I sometimes get up and watch telly. I watched an episode of “Bottom” at three o’clock (nudey wombles), put the dishwasher on, and went back to bed for an hour or so. I tried to sleep; I got up at six o’clock for a shave and to empty the dishwasher before trying to sleep again.

I got up at eight o’clock. "er indoors ^TM" stayed asleep.

Over toast I had a look at the Internet. Some Muslim friends had proudly posted photos of the Christmas decorations in their house; clearly showing that Christmas is no longer a “Christian” thing (if it ever was).  And then I had an email – a new geocache had gone live not ten miles away. I leapt into action and sped out to the back of beyond. Joe and Andrea had parked their car two minutes before me, but a joint First to Find and climbing a tree before nine o’clock on a Christmas morning can’t be bad.

With the First to Find found, "er indoors ^TM" and I took the dogs for their morning constitutional. They don’t understand nonsense like Christmas. As we walked we smiled sweetly at all sorts of people. Several people were out on new bikes and new go-karts and new scooters. Pogo only picked two fights.

We came home and did the pressie thing. I had a rather good haul. We then started a bit of a tidy-up in readiness for the tribal gathering tomorrow. I say “we started”; "er indoors ^TM" worked wonders; I spent much of the afternoon asleep on the sofa with Fudge.

I eventually awoke, and having settled the pups we walked round the road where we spent a rather good evening being pampered by friends. Meats, prawns, cheeses, champagne, probably half a bottle of port just for me.

We really should do that sort of thing more often.

"er indoors ^TM" is now asking Siri how to boil up a turkey. I’m not getting involved…