6 March 2019 (Wednesday) - Planning for Brexit

Apart from a minor disturbance in the small hours when the dogs were running up and down the stairs I manged to get a decent night’s sleep. I wish I could get that more often.

Over brekkie I watched this week’s episode of the new series of “Alan Partridge”; whilst I do like the character, in many ways it is very much “more of the same”. The most recent series of “Red Dwarf” were like that; entertaining, but just re-hashes of what has gone before.

I watched the first video in my Coursera botany course, then had a look at Facebook as I do most mornings. There was quite a bit of comment about the mess the dogs had made of the dustbin, I was told that you can get dog-proof bins. That might be an investment.

I checked my emails. LinkedIn were spouting management drivel. If I wasn’t so close to retirement I wonder if I might see if Coursera do courses in management-speak so I could understand what was being said. LinkedIn is a foreign language to me.

Amazon was trying to sell me that which I’d already bought, and with no other emails of note I got dressed and set off to work.

As I drove to work the pundits on the radio were interviewing the American Ambassador to London. They challenged him about some disparaging remarks he'd made about Brexit, but (to be fair to the bloke) the remarks he'd made were fair. Brexit *is* a total balls-up. The chap spoke eloquently for five minutes, which is more than most of the people they interview most mornings.

They also interviewed one of the leading lights of the Chinese tech giant Huawei. Apparently no western government wants anything to do with Huawei as they are seen as a security risk. This chap disproved every allegation that was made about his company, and made the accusation that by bad-mouthing Huawei, Nokia and Sony_Erikson stand to profit.

He's probably got a point. Thinking about it, this is probably obvious. Have you noticed the bad press that McDonalds often get when none of the other burger chains ever get any stick?

I stopped off at Aldi to get supplies. Jam, marmalade and armpit-squirt. I totally forgot to get sugar, granola and bum-wipe. Oh well.

I got to work to find a colleague swearing. She'd arrived at work at the same time as me only to find she was on the late shift today. And consequently at work four and a half hours too early. Whoops.

She wasn't much happier later when she told us that she'd spent the morning trying to referee a squabble amongst the local school's mother's Whatsapp group about an alleged outbreak of nits at the school. I remember those days when there were rumours of nits at schools. To be fair to the fruits of my loin, I don't remember them having nits, but I have a vague memory of threatening one or other of them with insecticidal dog shampoo.

The boss also told us that we should think about what might affect our journeys to work after Brexit. My plans are to drive up the motorway every day like I do already, but it was suggested that the motorway might be blocked with queues of lorries formed from aggro at the docks. I've given the matter some sage concentration and got dispensation to be flexible with my hours if I need to get the train, and in a spirit of helpfulness I've suggested that I might look at designs for a dog-sled as a fall-back position.

It has been suggested that I'm possibly not taking this as seriously as I might...

The journey home was much easier than yesterday’s. Once home I walked the dogs round the block, then did some more of my Coursera course.

"er indoors ^TM" boiled up sausages and chips which we devoured with a bottle of plonk whist watching an episode of our latest discovery. “Derry Girls” is rather good…

5 March 2019 (Tuesday) - Crap Day

I gave up on any attempt at sleep shortly after four o'clock. The dogs wouldn't settle and Treacle wouldn't stop snarling. I went downstairs where I wouldn’t be trying to sleep in a war zone and lay (very uncomfortably and wide awake) on the sofa for an hour before giving up and watching last week's episode of "Still Game" which was rather good.

With telly watched and toast scoffed I had a little look at the Internet. Several people had commented on my Facebook post about my little episode with the stoned and drunk youth yesterday. I'd even had a few personal messages about the matter. Everyone was taking the line of "Oh it's shocking, are you alright?" which is probably why youths go round being obnoxious whist drunk and stoned. If a few more people had taken the line of "Iet's go out and kick some scumbag arse" we might just have a better society, mightn't we?

I blame the schools entirely. If I'd put a foot wrong when I was at school I would have got a caned backside. I behaved myself for fear of the stick.  Today however we cannot terrify the brats into behaving themselves. Every little oik has endless rights and no responsibilities. What the bleeding hearts don't understand is that there is no point trying to appeal to the better nature of a thug who hasn't got one.

Eventually my piss cooled, and I left the house shortly after six o'clock. Last night new geocache had gone live yesterday about a mile south of home. The first person to find it had written that they had found it laying out in the open and that they had hidden it where they felt it should have been. I couldn't find anything, but I could see where others had been rummaging. (I sent a message to the first finder, and an hour or so later I got a message about it. It would seem that my GPS had put me about ten yards out on the wrong side of the track).

I then drove to the post office to get my parcel. There was a surprising amount of people wandering around the park by the sports centre at half past six; I think it fair to say that I was the only one not smoking funny cigarettes. I got my parcel - for once the traffic wardens weren't laying in wait outside the sorting office.

As I headed up the motorway to work I listened to the radio. There was pretty much nothing of note being discussed really. Dame Margaret Hodge was accusing Jeremy Corbyn of misleading her with regard to the anti-emitism scandal, and she was on the radio for seemingly an age; wittering on without actually saying anything. Ex-Home Secretary Amber Rudd was also complaining about anti-semitism in the Labour party in her constituency of Hastings and Rye.

Coming from there myself I wasn't aware of any Jewish community in the area? Is this a new thing?

I got to work for the early shift and did that which I could not avoid. At tea break I checked my emails. Coursera had sent me a list of courses that might interest me; I've signed up for one on botany. I don't really know that much about plants, but I'm keen to learn. Work was good; but I was so tired I nearly dozed off a couple of times. I was glad to be on the early shift so I could go home early.

It was a shame that the traffic was queued all the way from the motorway as far back as work. A mile and a half driving at walking speed rather wiped out any benefit of an early finish. The motorway was running rather slowly, and I got to Ashford to find the roads logjammed there as well.

I got home and opened the door to carnage. One of the dogs had had the bin out of the kitchen and had strewn rubbish everywhere. Taking a deep breath I left the rubbish scattered across the floor and walked the dogs whilst it was still light. The walk would have gone better if Treacle hadn’t fallen in a ditch of stagnant water.

With dogs walked I chucked all three into the garden whilst I cleared up their mess. It only took twenty minutes. And then when I thought nothing else could go wrong I opened my new camera to find it wasn’t what I thought it was. I wanted a camera that takes batteries I can buy in any shop. I’ve got one that takes some specialist battery (that didn’t come with the camera). Quite frankly if anyone wants it, they can have it.  In my mind it typifies today’s disasters and I want nothing more to do with it. If no one wants it, I will bin it.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

4 March 2019 (Monday) - Back to Work

I lay awake for much of last night listening to the torrential rain against the bedroom window. I got up and stood on the scales – sixteen and a half stones – that’s a tad heavy and a stone heavier than the last time I weighed myself. Time to start counting those calories and being permanently hungry again.

As I scoffed toast and jam and guzzled coffee (three hundred calories) I watched the first episode of the new season of “Still Game”. Despite the critics having been less than complementary, I quite liked it.  And seeing that there was very little of note on Facebook or email I got myself ready for work.

It was light as I set off to work. I do prefer the lighter mornings. As I drove the pundits on the radio were still blathering about Brexit. I've made a point of not listening to the news during my last week's holiday, but this morning I heard that with less than a month to go until our country leaves the European Union, absolutely nothing has changed or been planned.

It does seem that the Chancellor of the Exchequer has found some money to give to the poorest parts of the country in a bid to bribe MPs to vote for plans which have already been thrown out. Mind you it was mentioned that less than one in four people know who the Chancellor of the Exchequer actually is...

There was also talk about putting music back on the national curriculum for schools. *If* it is done properly this could be a good thing. I remember our music teachers at secondary school. We had a middle-aged married couple ("Ma" and "Pa" Jennings) who totally abused our music lessons to rant their various odd opinions at us rather than teaching us anything useful. "Pa" would witter on about how stupid we all were, then (without warning) rush to the piano, play the National Anthem, and then tear into the last child to get to his feet.

All in all, I'd not missed much by not listening to the radio for a week.

Despite rather heavy traffic I got to work for the early shift and did my thing. At tea break I saw that "er indoors ^TM" had posted to Facebook. All three dogs weren't keen on getting their paws wet at this morning's tiddle time. And at lunch time I had a message from "Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM". "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction ^TM" has announced he wants to be a pilot when he is older, and that getting a pilot's licence will cost someone thirty-seven thousand pounds. At the moment it is rather vague as to who this "someone" actually is. As long as it isn't me, I'm quite happy for him to learn to fly. Whether he flies himself or an aeroplane remains to be seen.

An early start made for an early finish. I got home and went to the dentist for a filing, then took the dogs for a walk. As I walked I had an odd episode. Some young lad cycled past, and when he was five yards behind me he started shouting about how rude I was, jumped off his bike and staggered up to me and started shouting in my face. He reeked of drink and strange cigarettes and was quite threatening. I say “quite threatening”; the dogs weren’t bothered by him so he was probably harmless, and if he had got physical I would have given him a slap. In retrospect a serious slap might have killed him, but I would have claimed self-defence.

 The most disturbing aspect of the whole episode was when two other lads of about his age came past and “Thugbert” turned on them. They were terrified and couldn’t run away quick enough.

I took the dogs round the block, and we came home.

I thought about reporting my little episode to the police, but in my experience they really aren’t interested, so I posted about it on the Facebook “Ashford & Surrounding Areas Crime Page‼️”. If the local police are any good they will be monitoring that page. Not that they will do anything.

"er indoors ^TM" went bowling, so I settled myself in front of the telly and watched more “Titans”. I really should have an early night – I came home to find that my camera is waiting for me at the post office and I need to have collected it and be on my way by seven o’clock for the free parking…