6 December 2016 (Tuesday) - Boiler Service

"er indoors ^TM" refereed the dogs’ breakfast this morning. "Furry Face ^TM" has never really been a greedy dog where as "Furry Shark ^TM" seems to be rather more rapacious. And bearing in mind one dog has “adult dog” food and one has “puppy food” it is a shame that both would rather eat the others. Or to be more precise my dog would rather have two bites of the puppy food and leave all of the rest and all of his food to the baby whilst hoping for dog treats for himself.

"Furry Shark ^TM" devoured all that she could, crapped on the carpet then bit chunks out of my ears. For all that she is entertaining she is *really* hard work. I turned my back on her for five seconds and turned round to find her chewing my phone.

Both dogs then played “chase” around the living room then squabbled over a scrap of material. "Furry Face ^TM" is better than he was; having been poorly at the weekend, I think he struggles to keep up with the puppy.

I got dressed, put the lead on to "Furry Face ^TM" and put "Furry Shark ^TM" into her carry-sling and we went out to meet "Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM" and "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction ^TM".  They had Sid and Pogo ("Furry Shark ^TM"’s brother) with them, and together we went for a little walk. Bearing in mind we had a toddler and four dogs (two of which had never been for a walk before) the walk was something of a success.

Once home the dogs went to sleep and I ran round with the Hoover in preparation for the boiler’s servicing. I then watched an episode of “Game of Thrones” with a sleeping dog on each side of me, and then the nice boiler servicing man arrived to give the boiler its annual once-over. There are those who say it is money wasted and that they never get their boilers serviced. I used to say that until the old one gave up the ghost and the new one cost me two thousand pounds…

As the dogs carried on snoozing I watched a film about the life of the painter JMW Turner. It starred Timothy Spall; I quite like him even if he did once have a minor run-in with my brother. About half way through the film the doorbell rang. There was some young lad purporting to be collecting on behalf of Cancer Research UK. Perhaps he was, but when it became clear I knew far more about radiotherapy and chemotherapy than he did, he couldn’t get away quickly enough.

I settled back down with my dogs. I was just thinking how sweet "Furry Shark ^TM" was when she bit me. Quite savagely. I then took both dogs into the garden to do what dogs do in gardens. One did. One didn’t. So we came back in and the little one tiddled on the carpet. And as I cleaned up the tiddle so she had a  dump on the carpet too. And another tiddle.

Jimbo came to visit; we put the world to rights over a few beers whilst "Furry Shark ^TM" savaged him. And then (being Tuesday) the clans gathered in Arden Drive. We’d arranged for pizza to be delivered, and with that scoffed I slept through an episode of Gotham. I *hate* that. Fast asleep when things are happening and I shall now be lying awake for half the night…

5 December 2016 (Monday) - After the Night Shifts

When on the night shift I have the radio on. It can be interesting; it *is* interesting. But there were oh-so-many repeats last night. We started off with an expose on a scandal about how Estonia its selling citizenship on the Internet. I listened to that on Thursday evening. There was a nature program about crayfish which I heard shortly before going home yesterday morning. There was extracts from the autobiography of the widow of Captain Scott which I also heard shortly before going home yesterday morning. There was an odd play about a misanthropic governess that had been on in the small hours on the previous night.

It is as well that the radio is just background noise to keep me company whilst I work, rather than the only thing I have to keep me sane in the small hours. You'd think the BBC would have a rather larger archive.

As I came home the pundits on the radio were wittering on about Brexit again. It seems more and more likely that in order to maintain the current levels of trade with the European countries the UK is going to have to pay all sorts of tariffs. The Brexit secretary has hinted that at the end of the day the UK may well still be handing over as much money to Brussels as we were before the referendum, and may well be beholden to as many Euro-rules as we were before. The only difference Brexit would have made would be that we no longer had any say in the making of those Euro-rules. They were interviewing one of the Norwegian ministers who had warned that this is the arrangement that Norway has with the EU and that they don’t like it.

The Foreign Secretary disagrees. Let's hope he's right.

I had decided that when I got home I would take my dog to the vets. But I got home to find him a lot perkier than yesterday. He wanted to go for a walk, and he was scoffing biscuits. Going to the vets only upsets and stresses him so we went for a walk instead.

Once he was walked I went to the dentist. He again commented that existing fillings really need replacing at some point; he’s been saying that for ten years.

I took myself off to bed for the rest of the morning. Over a spot of lunch I watched the second episode of this week’s instalments of “Game of Thrones”. I’m now at the part of season six where it starts getting good again (yes - the episode where nudey-dragon-girl gets them out again). As I watched so my dog was intently ripping up the teddy bear he’s been given yesterday, and the puppy (furry shark!) wreaked mayhem. Eventually the furry shark tired and fell asleep across the back of my shoulders. As she snored into my left ear I watched the last couple of lectures on the course on dog psychology, and then did the exam. I passed the course – ninety-three percent. Not bad.

This is the seventh course I’ve done with Coursera. Over the years they have taught me about astro-biology, internet security, dark matter, dinosaurs, psychology (human and canine) and the origin of life, the universe and everything. And all for free. I wonder what I’ll learn about next with them.

I then had a rather odd five minutes. Having chewed my laptop’s power cable and my phone the furry shark then went on a little walkabout. It wasn’t long before the familiar odour reached my nose. The puppy had done a poo. But could I find it? Eventually I gave up searching; it is still out there somewhere.

I then opened today’s window on the Lego advent calendar and then sat on the sofa with "Furry Face ^TM" for a while. He’s better than he was yesterday but is still obviously not his usual self. After a while "Furry Shark ^TM" joined us. I had a quiet poorly dog to my left and a rampaging ball of fluff and sharp teeth to my right.

"er indoors ^TM" came home and boiled up a rather good bit of dinner before going bowling. I thought of suggesting she might stay in with the puppy she wanted rather than leaving me with the puppy I didn’t want. But I thought better of it. The little puppy actually slept for much of the evening, but was fascinated by the noises made by various animals starring in the documentary “Planet Earth II”. At one point she was sitting up and watching the telly. Fudge never watches the telly…

4 December 2016 (Sunday) - Poorly Dog

I did my bit at work last night. I say that I don't mind night work... I don't really, but it can be so lonely. Over twelve hours on my own can be a bit much. And there is only so much Radio Four one can listen to before the brain overloads. Mind you I did sulk a little last night as I was missing the works Christmas booze up. The trouble with hospital work is that the place never closes and someone has to man the fort when everyone else is on a jolly. And I’d drawn the short straw.

I had intended to come home via the Wincheap boot fair. I went there a month or so ago and saw a rather good fishing tackle stall. I was hoping to get a seat box this morning but the boot fair wasn’t there today. That was a pain.

Once home I was rather surprised not to be mobbed by dogs. "Furry Face ^TM" looked at me from his basket but didn’t get up. I showed him his lead and he started quivering. We have a theory that he has strained his back through charging around with the puppy. As he lay in his basket the furry shark laid with him.

However he did rally enough to go round the block.

"er indoors ^TM" needed a calendar cache today. One in Egerton was selected and I went along for the ride. A relatively straight-forward find. We came home via the vets for a little advice about Fudge. I must admit I wasn’t as patient with them as I might have been. A combination of having been up all night combined with the receptionist’s desire to gossip rather than do her job did little for my mood.

I didn’t want to take my dog to the surgery as he only seems to be under the weather, and taking him to the vets would *really* stress him out. The receptionist went out to speak to the vets and eventually announced that they would not advise anything unless they saw him.

We agreed that I will bring him in tomorrow if he doesn’t rally.

I had a shower and a light lunch of a Belgian bun. As I scoffed it so the furry shark scrambled round my shoulders licking my wet hair. And just as she’s lulled me into a false sense of security she bit a lump out of my right ear.

I then took myself to bed for the afternoon and sulked a little more as the family all drove down to Hastings. Again working meant I was missing out. My brother's in-laws were holding their annual pre-Christmas party today. For all that I don't really know three quarters of the people there, it is usually a good party. I would rather have been there with my children and grandchildren rather than being in bed prior to twelve more hours of loneliness. I didn’t sleep that well; next door spent the afternoon hammering and drilling. After three hours I gave up and watched an episode of “Game of Thrones” with my dog on my lap. He was rather subdued; he’s going to the vet tomorrow…