21 September 2015 (Monday) - More Baseless Lies

This morning over a bit of brekkie I read that the police have dropped one of the investigations they are conducting about Sir Cliff Richard on the grounds that there was no truth in the allegations whatsoever. The poor chap has had these baseless lies hanging over his head for a year since the police first raided his home (when he wasn't there). Apparently Sir Cliff found out that he was being investigated through the media rather than being told directly. And for all that it's all over the papers, Sir Cliff hasn't been formally charged with anything.

Whilst there is nothing worse than "interfering" with children, as time goes on it would seem that there's also not much that is actually rarer. I've lost count of the amount of celebrities who have had their careers and reputations ruined by baseless allegations.

Perhaps the law might be changed in such a way that reporters can't comment on allegations until the accused has been found guilty in a court of law.

I put the lead on my dog and we set off early for our morning walk; as we went up the road we saw a bus trying to do an about-turn. I have absolutely no idea what a bus wold want to do an about turn but it was causing serious traffic chaos as it did.

We then went on through Bowens Field where, having ignored a dozen cyclists my dog then went mental at the next one. Sometimes I wonder what goes through his head.

We made our way to the vets; someone was due for a booster shot. I walk him in there at least once most weeks. We go into the waiting area, sit for a bit and come out. When we are not seeing the vet there is no problem. When we are seeing the vet he knows. I had to drag him in to the place this morning, and once in the place he cowered under the benches. As he cowered I got chatting with a chap who'd brought in a ferret with a sore foot. My dog's terror of the vet was no match for his jealousy and he soon came out from under the bench too see what he was missing.

We were called in to see the vet; "Furry Face ^TM" was dragged in. I lifted him onto the vet's table and caught him in mid-air as he immediately leapt off. The vet was really good with him. I told her that he seems rather quieter than usual lately. She gave him a serious going over and couldn't find any problems. She suggested the problem might be a combination of a historic bad back and not being as young as he once was. I expect there's a lot of truth in that.

He got his booster injection, and we came home to find we'd had a letter thorugh the door. I say "letter"; it was a flyer from "Nationwide Cleaners" telling us how a cleaner could save us valuable time. It's no secret that I don't live in the tidieest of houses. Having someone to sort the mess would be handy.

Until I saw their prices. Ten quid per hour. Ten quid !!!! Am I just being mean?

As I drove to work Women's Hour was on the radio. Perhaps I'm just a sexist pig but I usually find that show generally supercilious and patronising. As I tuned in they were starting an expose on erectile dysfunction which I found to be presented in a rather insulting sort of way. I formed the distinct impression that erectile dysfunction was being presented as yet another thing that men did wrong purely to annoy women.

This was followed by a pre-recorded interview with the late Jackie Collins (she died over the weekend) who was reading some of the raunchier extracts of her books. Call me old fashioned if you will but in my world there is no space for caressing nipples on national radio at 10.30am.

I stopped off in Morrisons for apples and bananas, then went on to Go Outdoors for some new trainers. They weren't cheap but hopefully they will last a little while. I have a twenty-eight day no quibble return period so we shall see.

And then to work. And as is so often the way when on the late shift, all of note in my day was over and done with by 11am...

20 September 2015 Sunday) - Hawkinge, Vets

As is so often the way, after an ale or two I didn't sleep well last night. I was up and eating cornflakes whilst watching "South Park" at 3am in an attempt to settle my wayward stomach.

It settled (after a fashion); I went back to bed. However my sleep was marred by vivid dreams in which I had been called into work because I had recently been to London for a day's parasitology course (which I had) and my wisdom was required. In my slumbers an associate had gone bright yellow having contracted the rather rare strain of "bastard malaria".

I finally gave up with the idea of sleep shortly after 7am and watched "Toddlers and Tiaras" over toast and coffee. That settled my stomach far more than cornflakes ever did.

As I was prepping "Hannah" for the day I had a message. Yesterday we spent the evening at a geo-camping event. Nick's phone had been charging in the car as we sat chatting. This morning - disaster. Nick's keys had gone missing. "er indoors ^TM" had a look in the car as I prepared to drive back out to Yalding to deliver them, but they weren't in our car.

For all that we breathed a sigh of relief I can't help but wonder where the errant keys went.

"Furry Face ^TM" seemed rather subdued this morning; only nibbling at his breakfast. Usually when he sees me getting backpack and walking boots together he gooes mental, but not today. Perhaps he was worn out with yesterday's excitement. But subdued dogs notwitstanding we got ourselves together and set off to the south coast.

We had plans to walk three shorter geo-serieses today, and so we drove out to Hawkinge to start the "Up on the Downs" series. Billed as a walk of two and a half miles the plan was to do this and another series before lunch, and then move on to Samphire Hoe for the afternoon.

We started our walk with a little diversion into Hawkinge itself, and then went on to the country lanes. We saw rabits and pheasants and fox poo. The walk was rather scenic; I took a few photos whilst we were there. But as for a geocaching walk.... I don't want to be negative, it wasn't a bad walk. In fact looking back it was actually a rather good one. And in his defence the chap who'd put the series out did say he'd never had much to do with the outdoors and that he was new to hiding tupperware... but...

I had a couple of trivial issues with the series. Personally I would have put more caches along the route; I would have had more caches at places where you change directions and footpaths just to make that change more obvious. And I would question the published distance. Billed as two and a half miles, three GPS units measured it at a shade under four miles.

However I would say that the first geocache could have been worked differently. The puzzle was was overly complicated and the final co-ordinates were some two miles away and weren't actually on the walk. The final location involved a little detour from the circuit of about half a mile. I would have done it differently.

But I'm probably just being picky here. The chap who'd put the caches out had obviously put a lot of time and effort into providing me with a walk around places I've never been before, and for all that I might whinge, I am very grateful for his efforts.

As we walked we noticed a little blood on Suzy-pup's side. We stopped and looked closer. There was a gash in her side about an inch long. So rather than carrying on into Alkham we abandoned our plans for the rest of the day and drove to the vets in Folkestone. In addition to the gash the vet found two puncture wounds. We are pretty sure she ripped her side on barbed wire; either when chasing pheasants, or when falling out of a tree (it's a dog thing).

The poor pup didn't seem overly bothered but had we carried on she would have got the wound infected. The vet closed the gash with three staples and put a "bucket of shame" over Suzy-pup's head and ordered rest, so we cut the day short and came home.

Once home "er indoors ^TM" drove "My Boy ^TM" up to the hospital. Cheryl's back had been getting more and more painful. She is booked for surgery for a slipped disc, and having been to the Accident & Emergency department she'd been told she could have the surgery today.

After a few hours of waiting around she was told things weren't as urgent as they seemed and she was back on the waiting list and sent home again.

And with "er indoors ^TM" off bowling I was left "home alone" with my dog. He seemed really quiet, and as I did the ironing I had to turn the telly up over the sound of his snoring.

He's laying asleep next to me now; he sees absolutely knackered. He has got an appointment with the vet himself tomorrow. I shall ask them if I'm fussing about him unduly...

19 September 2015 (Saturday) - Teapot Island

I was rather later getting going than I might have been today. What with having swapped duties around (I'm accommodating like that) I've just worked four nights out of the last six. Perhaps that's why I was tired.

Over brekkie I had a look-see on-line. The rugby world cup has kicked off (does rugby kick off?) and I'm not going to dare to say a word against it. I will however ask the question that why is it acceptable that everyone else can openly sneer at any pastime I enjoy (such as hiking, saxophoning, geocaching, home brewing, playing cards, astronomising, kite-flying, camping) whilst if I say a word against organised sport, serious offence is taken?

I can distinctly remember a rather nasty incident a few years ago when a chap I thought was a good friend had been lambasting me about some sad Trekkie cards I was collecting at the time. I then mentioned something about "Mighty Morphing Queens Park Rangers" and I was told in no uncertain terms that were I not a good friend of his sister in law he would have knocked me out. (This was no joke - he was serious)

Today is also national "Talk like a Pirate Day". I've mentioned this in previous years. It is a silly game which has run its course though; even the official website has gone. The replacement's not really been updated for some time either, which is a shame.

I got dressed; putting on a pair of the new pants I'd bought in Morrisons the other day. There is something wonderful about having pants with functioning elastic. I then took "Furry Face ^TM" for a walk. We went round to the park; normally I avoid this place on Saturday mornings because of all the joggers. Today we were alittle later than usual and most (nearly all) of them had gone home.

My dog played nicely with some other dogs; I wish he'd do that more often. More and more these days he just ignores other dogs.

We came home, and I spent another couple of hours working on my next Wheri-project. It took that long to get a mythical beast to ask a riddle. I say "that long"; perhaps "at least that long" might be more accurate. I've not got it to work correctly in the simulator yet.

Being at something of a loose end for the day I looked on the geo-map and had a stroke of inspiration. There was a canoe-ing geo-event scheduled to end up at Teapot Island this evening so we thought we might pop in. We arrived at Teapot Island, solved a geo-puzzle, failed on a Wherigo and being three hours too early for the geo-meet we retired to the riverside pub and downed ale and watched the world go by for a while.

When the time was right we wandered over to the camp site and helped the canoeists ashore, then helped get the barbecue fire going. And we had a frankly wonderful evening just sitting and chatting as it got darker and darker.

I slept all the way home...

18 September 2015 (Friday) - Bit Tired

Last night as I worked I listened to the radio as usual. Said radio served up its usual blend of interest and drivel.

I couldn't beleive a year has passed since the Scots voted to remain part of the United Kingdom. But despite an overwhelming vote to stay, the Scottish Nationalists are still agitating for another referendum.

Don't they realise that they had their choice and was told to get knotted?

And our old friend science has detemined that the most painful place in which a bee might sting you is the nostril and went on to discover that all large mammals pee for the same length of time. Apparently all large mammals empty their bladders in twenty one seconds.

You would think science might have better things to do with its time. Unless it likes that sort of thing.

Having done my bit I was immediately seconded to chauffeur "er indoors ^TM" from the garrage to her work. She's having her brakes seen to. Apparently this is going to cost me six hundred quid.

So much for what I was going to spend it on...

Wiith chauffeuring done I took "Furry Face ^TM" for a walk. Bearing in mind the conclusions reached by our old friend science I watched my dog like a hawk. He'd not been out for a tiddle yet this morning so I was able to conduct a scientific experiment. I concluded that either my dog doesn't count as a large mammal, or science is talking rubbish. Squeezing out one drop of tiddle every ten yards my Patagonian Tripe-Hound still had plenty in his bladder after an hour.

We walked via the vets where I made an appointment for his booster shot for Monday morning. Today he walkled in there without a care in the world. On Monday I will need to use all my might to drag him in there. How does he know?

We came home, I went to bed. I lost count of the times "Furry Face ^TM" declared "Red Alert" and was barking at absolutely nothing at all. After a couple of hours "er indoors ^TM" asked when I would be waking up as her car was ready to be collected. So I fetched her and took her to the garage.

By one of life's myriad coincidences the garage was next to McDonalds so we had lunch together.

I came home, and didn't really feel like doing anything particularly active. For a moment I felt rather guilty and looked at thee bright sunshine outside and looked at my dog. Then in the space of about ten seconds the sky went black, the rain was torrential and the thunder started. So instead I spent a little time working on my latest Wherigo.

Six hours later I'd created about ten minutes more game play, and "er indoors ^TM" came home. A bit of tea, then catching up with episodes of Bake Off...

17 September 2015 (Thursday) - Baby Jake

I had my cannelloni for tea last night whilst visiting the Folkestonians. It was really good: I'd recommend the stuff. I then went on to work where I did my night shift.

As I worked I listened to the radio; sometimes it is interesting; sometimes piss-boiling. Great fuss was made about the new Leader of the Opposition Jeremy Corbyn. Whether or not he's going to be an effective Leader of the Opposition remains to be seen. But yesterday he was filmed refusing to sing along with the National Anthem. He probably thought he was proving some political point but it blew up in his face; he's going to sing it in future.

He then flatly refused to say whether or not he would kneel to the Queen at meetings of the Privy Council; pretending he didn't know the format of the meetings. Even though it is common knowledge that he will be expected to kneel.

A few days ago I was singing the chap's praises; now as far as I'm concerned he's fallen at the first hurdle. After less than a week in the job he's come over as a bit of a twit. Can't we just write him off as a bad move and replace him now?

With my work done I went home via the nearby Sainsburys. Shortly after midnight a new geocache had gone live there. On the one hand a cheeky little FTF brightened up an otherwise dull day. On the other hand having been placed where it is, it has effectively stuffed up hours of work on the Wherigo on which I've been working for the last few days.

Oh well... I suppose I should have reserved the space. I shall just spend a couple of hours setting the thing up in Ashford instead. After all it's not as though the Canterbury masses are clamouring to do the Wherigo I put there a couple of weks ago.

Once home I changed my undercrackers. I'd managed for quite long enough in a pair in which the elastic had gone. I then took an impatient dog to Frog's Island and back again for today's walk. Unusually for us oour walk passed off without incident.

Once home, pausing only briefly to throw honey all over the kitchen floor, I had a spot of brekie then I then took myself off to bed for most of the day. I had a rather restless sleep, when the phone wasn't ringing and my dog wasn't barking, my sleep was filled with dreams (nightmares) of the BBC's children's show "Baby Jake".

"Baby Jake" is the youngest of a hippy commune which seems to be squatting in a rather un-natural windmill. My Grandson likes the program. With animation comparable to what Terry Gilliam did for Monty Python I thought it was frankly scary. "Nibbles" the rabbit looks like it is about to go for Baby Jake's throat, and the less said about the Hamsternauts the better.

According to Wikipedia the show cost nearly two million quid to produce. Two million quid? Surely it could be done cheaper?

I'm off to work for another night shift now. I might have a little geo-adventure on the way. I've seen there's another new geocache on the map *exactly* where I'd planned Thanington's Church Micro...

16 September 2015 (Wednesday) - A Day in Bed

This morning I woke with feet as cold as ice but with my head sweating. How does that work? Over brekkie I had a look-see on line. I found a couple of things which piqued my interest. In a month or so there will be a sing-along Rocky Horror event in Margate. With tickets only (!) fifteen quid each I'm rather tempted to go along. I wonder if I can find anyone daft enough to come along with me.

I also found out some shocking news about an ex-Star Trek actress. "Kes" (in Star Trek: Voyager") was a sweet naive cute little petal. Apparently the actress who played the role has recently been charged with indecent exposure having flashed at children; earlier this year she was charged with evading arrest, resisting arrest, reckless endangerment and aggravated assault.

Makes you think, doesn't it?

With heavy rain forecast for the late morning me and "Furry Face ^TM" set off promptly for our walk. We took the back streets to Singleton Lake where (for the first time ever) there was no one fishing there. The idea of walking before the rain was that we wouldn't get wet. My dog didn't hold with this theoory and he chased after the ducks until he was chest-deep in the lake.

I then restrained him from getting in the way of cyclists. I wasn't really paying attention; I should have realised who was on the bike earlier. We then walked round to Viccie Park where we met all the familiar faces. Today OrangeHead had taken it back to basics with only her Chunky Little Friend in tow; none of her posse was to be seen. Fudge had a ding-dong with Chunky Little Friend's dog, tried to have his way with a passing Scottie, and (for no apparent reason) seemed to run in terror from a rather thin labrador.

Once home "Furry Face ^TM" had his breakfast and I spent an hour programming a virtual little old lady to kick a gallant kight in the goolies before taking myself off to bed for tthe afternoon. I dozed fitfully; I gave up trying to sleep shortly after 3.30pm.

I'm off to work for the night shift now. Via Folkestone. I've been promised cannelloni for tea.

I wonder what that is.....

15 September 2015 (Tuesday) - This n That

Over the last two weeks I've spent quite a lot of time (and money) working on a new series of geocaches which will lead people on a walk around Bethersden. With everything finally organised the plan was to actually hide the sandwich boxes today. But the weather forecast wasn't good, and I woke at 6am to the sound of torrential rain. For all that my walk is a pleasant one, there is one stretch where (for several hundred yards) one has a choice of walking on a ploughed field or in grass higher than my dog is tall. Either way, after last night's rain neither would be fun. And there are quite a few other places where we'd get wet and mucky. And the stiles would be slippery. The geo-feds have told me that I have first dibs on my chosen locations for three months so I decided to conceal tupperware another time, rolled over and went back to sleep.

I finally emerged from my pit shortly after 8.15am when my back hurt too much to lie in bed any more. It is a long time siince I've lain in bed long enough to get backache.

Ove brekkie I checked out cyber-space. On the last two days I've had something of a retrospective. Today "er indoors ^TM" was having one. Three years ago we went to Deal and did a wonderul GPS adventure game based on "Dungeons and Dragons". There were some photos of the day; didn't I look thin!

Dungeons and Dragons - a knight's quest. I could make a Wherigo based on that.

I also reflected on other old times; "er indoors ^TM" had found photos of our old house. The place was changed somewhat in the twenty four years since we moved out. It has been bought by a property developer and is now up for rent. Over seven hundred quid per month for a two-bed terraced house !!!

As I scoffed my toast "Furry Face ^TM" jumped up, wiggled himself into place next to me and went to sleep. I then didn't really dare move; not wanting to disturb him until he woke up. It was as well that he slept. If awake he's only have been whinging to go for our morning walk. I'd planned a walk but didn't want to do it until the rain stopped.

Eventually the rain did abate, and we went for a little walk. We set off along the back roads heading south where we spent five minutes standing by a dog poo bin watching a juggernaut getting itself wedged morwe and more into a narrow cul-de-sac. As we watched so an old woman brought her dog to the poo bin to have its dump. I pointed out that the poo was supposed to go in the bin, not just in its general vicinity but the old woman pretended to be deaf.

We carried on through Park Farm and home through Willesborough Dykes where the footpaths were covered in earthworms being eaten by slugs. I never knew slugs ate earthworms.

Having stopped off at Pets at Home (someone got a bone for being good) we came home.

I'd chosen not to go round the countryside today because it would be too wet. Today's walk was all on tarmac paths but even so "Furry Face ^TM" still came home wet and filthy. He had a quick hose-off and then he set about his bone as I had lunch whist watching theis week's episode of "The Last Ship".

Much as I quite like the show it has occurred to me that the baddies could comprehensively stuff our heroes by stopping doing all their baddying on the coast and by moving inland.

I then started making a Wherigo based on Dungeons and Dragons. After four hours of effort I had two minutes of game play programmed, and then the clans gathered in Somerset Road. Nooo-gar (not nougat) was scoffed and we watched the exploits of Captain Kirk; ably assisted by Mr Leslie. Mr Leslie is a much under-rated Star Trekker.

And once home we caught up on the episode of Bake Off from two weeks ago.