4 August 2020 (Tuesday) - Oh Deer

With nowhere near enough milk (wonder where that went!) I had toast for brekkie which I devoured whilst watching more “Good Girls” on Netflix. I’d forgotten how good that series was.
Once the lap-top started working I peered into the Internet. I saw that two friends had birthdays today. Ostensibly born on the same day forty-odd years ago I would have said that one was fifteen years older than the other. (Am I being uncharitable?). Again I saw many of the same Facebook posts appearing on so many different Facebook pages.

With very little of note appearing on Facebook I had a look at the Munzee map to see if I might plan a like mission to capture a lot of the old Munzees. But the special icon wasn’t visible on the map today. It turns out they only appear on the map on dates which are multiples of three and five. Go figure (both figuratively and literally!)
Leaving Fudge (and everyone else) snoring I got ready for work.

I took a little diversion into the Godinton estate to stick a Munzee onto a lamp post (I'm told there are those in that part of the world who appreciate that sort of thing), then set off up the motorway to work. As I drove to work the pundits on the radio were talking about a recent spate of thefts of agricultural machinery and livestock. Apparently farms all over the country have had all sorts of equipment stolen which has then been smuggled out of the country and has ended up on the black market in Eastern Europe.  And entire flocks of sheep have been stolen, butchered and the meat sold off.
Now I can only think I am missing something here. How does one successfully smuggle a tractor out of the country? How does one steal a flock of over a hundred sheep? Apparently this is being done quite successfully at the moment.
There was also talk of American Presidential hopeful Joe Biden. Looking set to be the next president of the United States, his tactic seems to be to sit quietly and let Donald Trump talk (tweet) himself out of the White House. It would seem to be a very successful tactic. Mr Biden isn't actually trying to win the presidential election; he is just letting President Trump is get on with doing his level best to lose it. The American Presidential election really does seem to be proof of the old adage "better to keep quiet and be thought a fool rather than to open your mouth and remove all possible doubt".

I got to work; I did my thing. I spent half an hour doing fire safety e-training. I escaped as quickly as I could. I had a theory that being on an early finish meant I might get to Aldi whilst it was quiet. Aldi wasn’t busy, but I was amazed at the approach being taken to facial coverings. Most customers had them on, (albeit with their noses poking out over the top), but not a single member of staff was wearing one. I asked Aldi UK (via their Facebook page) why not. I bet they don’t reply.

I came home with most of the shopping I had been instructed to get then, ably assisted (supervised) by "er indoors ^TM" I took the dogs down to Orlestone Woods where we had a good walk. As we walked we saw a deer. Just one. I’ve never seen them in Orlestone woods before. According to the British Deer Society Ashford is about as far eastwards as deer go in the UK. Mind you there’s loads in Kings Wood and that’s even more east, so what do they know? I was surprised to only see one deer; I thought they came in herds. but the Internet says they are solitary animals.

With walk walked we all came home. I tried to get the green paint off of Pogo’s ear but he wouldn’t let me pick at it. Over the weekend "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction ^TM" had announced that he was going to paint the dogs. Fudge and Treacle ran and hid but Pogo (silly lump) loved the attention.

I’m getting peckish… wonder what’s for dinner…

 

3 August 2020 (Monday) - Nice Girls...

After a rather restless night I gave up trying to sleep. Over a bowl of granola I watched “Good Girls” on Netflix then sparked up my lap-top. "er indoors ^TM" had posted some photos from yesterday, but the rest of my Facebook feed was dull. I saw the same post about Lego posted to a dozen Lego sites, the same post about Sparks posted to a dozen Sparks sites… Facebook can be repetitive in the extreme.

As I drove to work the pundits on the radio were talking about how the over-fifties may find themselves compulsorily shielded in a bid to prevent a second wave of cornonageddon. I found the idea of being forcibly cooped up at home rather ironic bearing in mind there was no problem with me working constantly throughout the first lock-down. I think I might go stir-crazy if that happened... in all honesty I don't think I'd obey such a silly idea. Talking of which the pundits on the radio then wheeled on one of the government's advisors who has been at the centre of all the decision-making. The chap admitted that much of the lock-down decisions (and subsequent easing) have all been done based on what seemed to be a good idea at the time, and that any kind of reason or evidence didn't really have much of a role in the entire process.
There was then an interview with the head honcho at Hollywood Bowl who wasn't happy that his company hadn't been allowed to open up their bowling alleys this week. With over ninety-eight per cent of their staff still furloughed and the company losing one and a half million quid every week (since they still have all their outgoing and no income) the chap intimated that their company might not survive, and that bowling alleys may well be a thing of the past.

I took the A-road to Maidstone this morning and stopped off in Hollingbourne for Munzee purposes. Part of the requirements for this month's clan war is to find and capture Munzees which haven't been Munzed for over a year. Fortunately for me there are a few of these on the way to work. Unfortunately only those who've paid out to be a premium Munzer can actually do this bit of the clan war, so I'm wondering just how much of the resuscitating will fall to me. I did four this morning; the clan requirement for the month is to do a hundred and fifty between all of our clan. That would be ten each...*if* the clan were all premium Munzers. I know that "er indoors ^TM" isn't...

The traffic jams up the A20 didn't delay me *that* much; I was soon at work and raring to go on the early shift. I did my bit… during which I learned something. I was reliably informed by some of the young ladies with whom I work that if you are going to waggle your chest to its fullest effect you must cover up everything else. If you are going to wear a short shirt then the booby-bits must be firmly under control. Nice girls only brandish one saucy bit at a time.
One lives and learns.

An early start made from an early finish. Bearing in mind that there are only certain days on which this “doing the old Munzees” applies, and also bearing in mind there were a load of them not two miles from work, I went on a little munz-mission before coming home. I rather excelled myself doing over a third of our ten-person-team’s first level myself.

I came home; with "er indoors ^TM" driving "Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM" and "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction ^TM" about, I took the dogs down to Orlestone Woods. We woofed with (and at) other dogs. Fudge got dog-piggy-backed (which he didn’t like at all) and then…
Pogo was barking frantically as we walked up a path. A chap appeared (seemingly from nowhere) and was all smiles. A young lady was hurriedly putting on some sort of raincoat/dressing-gown/item-of-clothing-whch-was-utterly-unsuitable-for-the-woods-on-a-summer’s-evening. As they fussed the dogs, so I noticed the carefully arranged Harley-Davidson motorbike and the camera on a tripod. Were they doing risqué photography? What did she have on under that covering-everything garment? As I marched the dogs away I heard her ask “how did you want me?”, and as we turned the corner I snatched a glance.
Let’s just say that she’s probably not a nice girl…

2 August 2020 (Sunday) - Segway with the Birthday Girl

Sid kept me awake last night; when he stays with us he trots up and down the stairs to the attic room and the sound of his claws on the wooden stairs is rather loud. We really should sort out a carpet on those stairs; I got a quote from the carpet shop months ago.

I made toast and peered into the Internet. Other than the series of geocaches across the White Cliffs from Folkestone to Dover having been adopted (deliberately to wind me up?), nothing much had happened overnight. I had over seventy “Found It” logs on my geocaches in Kings Wood and “out in the sticks”; people seem to like those series. I’ve not had that many finds on my geo-series in Hemsted Forest recently, but it has been out a year and has had a hundred finds. Realistically it is reaching the end of its life; I suppose I should vaguely start thinking about replacing it in the next few months. But not just yet.

"er indoors ^TM" got up and opened all her birthday cards. She seemed happy with her birthday pressie. I’d bought her socks. I’ve always thought that socks are something of a crap pressie, but it is what she said she wanted. And at close on a tenner per sock (yes – per sock!) these aren’t any old socks.
"Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction ^TM" came downstairs, had a frozen yogurt for his brekkie, and announced that Sid was the best-behaved dog because he doesn’t want a slap (!) He then fed as many dog biscuits as he could to the dogs in a scientific experiment to find out which one would be sick first, then had the cheek to tell Treacle she was a fat lump.

I spent a little more time working on my current geo-jigsaw-puzzle, then "My Boy ^TM" and Cheryl arrived and the four of us went out. First to Mote Park where we walked round the lake. Some of us admired the views, some of us had a recce at the fishing potential. For all that the place has quite a reputation for being *the* place to go fishing, I wasn’t impressed with what I saw. With no car parking within half a mile, and all the normal people sailing past in pleasure boats I can’t say I’ll be going fishing there any time soon.

From there we drove down to Leeds Castle where we’d booked a session on the Segways. Leeds Castle Segway Tours gave us a rather good afternoon. We started off with a little instructional session. Among other things we were told that you should either be on the Segway or off of it. You must not have one foot on and one foot off because that will make the thing spin in a circle. Some old chap immediately stood with one foot on and one foot off, his Segway span in a circle, he went flying and there was quite a lot of blood.
There was a brief hiatus whilst a surgical face mask was bodged into a makeshift bandage and was wrapped round his knee, and the instruction continued. But the surgical face mask bandage wasn’t up to the job, the blood continued to flow, and the instruction session stopped whilst a first aid kit was brandished.
We then set of Segway-ing around the grounds of Leeds Castle. We pootled off along the paths that the normal people use, then the nice lady pressed the button that turned off “training mode” and we went onto the open parkland where we got up to speeds of up to twelve miles per hour each. It doesn’t sound much, but when you are on the Segway it certainly feels zoomy-whizz. And again when we all pulled up (after a particularly zoomy bit) three more people came tumbling off because they hadn’t heeded the instructions.

With Segways segwayed we drove for ten minutes to the Toby carvery where we scoffed a rather good dinner (which featured a surprise visit from father-in-law), then came home for a spot of pudding.

It was a shame that "Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM" and "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction ^TM" had made quite such a mess of the house whilst we’d been out, but eventually they sorted their carnage. "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction ^TM" had his bath, and with "Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM" off visiting her mates we scoffed the last of the birthday cake that "My Boy ^TM" had left.

I think I might have caught too much sun today… You can see photos of it here…

1 August 2020 (Saturday) - Bye Bye Neighbours

I had over a hundred emails about people having found the geocaches I’d hidden in Kings Wood. Despite the heat people had been out walking for miles yesterday. Mind you they said nice things in their written logs, so that was a result.

With pretty much nothing at all having happened overnight on Facebook I spent a little while struggling with a geo-jigsaw puzzle, then we took the dogs down to Orlestone Woods for a walk. We had a good walk – we didn’t see anyone else at all. It probably doesn’t help Treacle’s socialisation issues, but it does wonders for my state of mind. As we walked we couldn’t help but notice all the dog turds; either the woods are getting busier, or people are getting more lax about where their dogs dump.

We came home to find the neighbours moving out… again… I wish I knew what was wrong with the house. No one *ever* stays for any length of time there. When we moved in there was a little old lady who kept herself to herself. She vanished, and after the house had been empty for some time she was replaced by the mother-in-law of the other neighbours. We got on well with her to the disgust of the other neighbours.
After her it is all something of a blur. I can't remember the exact order, and I may have forgotten some ... in between being empty (for nearly a year) twice:
There was the drunk Irishman who would play crap music at 2am.
There were two young Australian ladies who would sunbathe in the garden in the nip (I liked them).
There was a Nigerian family who would never pull the blind in their toilet.
There were two young lads who were great fun.
There was the Nigerian fellow who would regularly have a "crafty Joddrell" into the toilet in the evenings; the shadows of which on their bathroom blind were rather entertaining
There was the odd couple who tried to blame the flood from their upstairs bathroom on my downstairs washing machine.
There was the young family who ran away owning thousands (we had the debt collectors asking after them for months).
There were the people with three dogs each of which was the size of a cart-horse.
There was the nice couple who moved round the corner to Francis Road.
There was the lot who did noisy sex and who moved out in May 2018
There was the lot who used to run the Elwick Club and went to run the Albion.
Then there was the lot who moved out today.

They said something about a rodent infestation, but with two dogs in their house I somehow doubt it. They only moved next door in March and even for that house, that was not long. To be honest they were never happy with the house. They’d moved from some mobile home estate on the Romney Marsh and claimed they could get a mobile home (a la “Trailer Park Boys”) on the Romney Marsh which was twice the size of their house for half the price, and I think the whole “rodent” thing was just a ruse to get them out of their contract.

I did more geo-jigsaw-puzzle. After two hours I still haven’t got the edges done. I gave up, and leaving the lap-top updating itself I set off to work. I deployed a Munzee, then did the late shift.

I came home via the petrol station. With posters and signs everywhere demanding I wear a face covering, neither of the two members of the staff there were.

Once home I found "Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM" and "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction ^TM" here for the weekend. Let’s hope they don’t get up very early tomorrow…