3 April 2018 (Tuesday) - Back To Work

Yesterday I was mobbed by dogs as I did my abdominal workout routine (as prescribed by my abdo-app). This morning I had a go whilst both dogs snored. I did some of the exercises, but not all. The full workout will be something to which I can work up.

Having exercised I scoffed my toast and watched last week’s episode of “Still Game”; possibly one of the best ones ever. I managed a quick look at the Internet; last night there was consternation in the Tupperware-hunting fraternity as geocaching dot com had died. This morning the website seemed to be running again.

Whist I was on the Internet I had a look at Facebook and saw that absolutely nothing had happened overnight. And with no emails of note I set off to work in my new shirt and trousers that I’d got from Matalan last week.

I got to the Matalan roundabout and found myself glancing south (the Pembury way) as I turned north towards Maidstone. There's no denying I had a much easier run to work today. Straight up the motorway. No weaving through country lanes, no idiots tailgating me for miles, no hold-ups at Goudhurst and Biddenden and Sissinghurst.

As I drove the pundits on the radio were discussing what a terrible weekend it had been for the shops. For no reason that I could establish, the British economy is dependent on people spending money hand-over-fist. Personally I prefer to buy stuff when I need it, rather than going out purely to empty my wallet as quickly as I can.

I almost laughed out loud at "Thought for the Day"; the vicar spouting platitudes was one whose life-partner (!) wasn't a Christian. She subscribed to some other religion/superstition. The vicar was trying to explain how the fact that her crackpot ideas utterly contradicted his crackpot ideas in no way invalidated either.

I love religion - you *really* can spout rubbish with a clear conscience.

I stopped off at Lidl on the way to work. I've missed that place. You can go in for a jar of coffee and come out with a lawnmower. I got my essentials and carried on to work where I was greeted like the returning prodigal son.

I did my bit and came home again. Just as I arrived home the phone rang. It was Bernie… I’d forgotten today was a Tuesday – what with the bank Holiday it seemed like a Monday. But I was running late so we decided to postpone the usual Tuesday nonsense.

I walked the dogs round the block, and with "er indoors ^TM" out with her dad I resisted the temptation of a kebab, and scoffed a microwave curry whilst watching a film. Netflix had been telling me about “Deadpool” for weeks. It was OK I suppose. I’ve sat through worse. I suppose I must have liked it as I stayed awake through all of it…

2 April 2018 (Monday) - Wet Bank Holiday

I slept like a log last night – ten hours sleep. I suppose this is what happens after a night shift. I got up and had my weekly weigh-in. After a few choccy bars, KFC, quite a bit of ale and a roast pig-out over the last week I was expecting the worst but was pleasantly surprised to see my weight has held constant over the last week. No loss or gain.

I was rather surprised to see the forecast torrential rain wasn’t happening and had a look at the weather forecast. The BBC’s weather forecast was once rather good. They’ve now changed it so’s you get an icon describing the weather, and a percentage chance of rain. However, the two rarely agree. Take today’s weather forecast. At mid-day I was told to expect light cloud with a thirty per cent chance of rain. Two hours later I should expect light rain with a twenty per cent chance of rain.

As I scoffed hot cross buns for brekkie (over a quarter of my daily calorie allowance!) I had a look at the Internet. For once very little seemed to be going on, and with no emails of note I finished my brekkie and got off my bum. I went out to the garden and potted my sorbaria sorbifolia (as one does).

It took some doing.

I went into the garden at the very moment that the rain started, but I decided to crack on. The plan was to stick the plant into the pot that the monkey puzzle tree had been in until last year. There was already a load of soil in it. There was also a load of weeds. Where had they come from? I shifted the weeds and stuck the sorby-whatever in the new pot. It sat far too high, so I gave myself a backache digging a hole for it. Eventually I got it just right and thought I could fill in the soil gaps with the spare soil I have reserved in a dustbin just for these eventualities. After all, doesn’t everyone have a dustbin full of spare soil just in case of a horticultural calamity? No?

I had a calamity when I found my dustbin of soil had become a dustbin of mud. I slopped mud in until all was even, then thought I would make it all look pretty by putting down a weed-proof membrane and some decorative stones.

It was at this point that the dogs started to “help” me…

I had hoped to pot all three new plants, but the rain, the dogs, and having run out of spare soil put an end to that idea. Which was probably for the best. It was as I was posting a photo of the plant in its new pot onto Facebook that I realized that the thing was nothing like level. Still, it’s a plant. It will straighten itself out (I hope).

I came in to the house to find an intense smell of disinfectant. One of the dogs had been sick. Perhaps it was the excitement of helping me with the gardening?

We then went for a little walk round the park. We met a pup whose head was bandaged after a mishap at the dog groomers. We’d been thinking about taking Treacle there to get her claws clipped. Might have to think twice now.

The walk went really well until we got to the Chinese garden where some small kiddies (and their mummy) were looking for frogs in a stagnant mud pool. Suddenly looking for frogs became a game of “fetch the stick” in which all the kids and the dogs immediately became plastered in smelly black gunge.

Once home I scrubbed the worst of the mud from the dogs, and I switched on my exercise app. No matter how much I diet I still have a fat gut. A few years ago I lost a third of my bodyweight and still had a beer belly. I have this idea that an abdominal workout routine might sort it out. I’ve downloaded an exercise app, and I had a go. Russian twists, leg raises, planking, heel touches… all the time being mobbed by the dogs who both thought this was some novel new game for them to play with me.

I shall try again tomorrow morning before they wake up.

We had a spot of lunch, settled the dogs, and went for a little geo-mission. About two years ago I solved a series of geo-puzzles which are all in the vague direction of Sittingbourne. They looked to be more “drive-by” than “walk” and so they remained unfound until today. Finding the weather rather iffy and the dogs asleep, we thought we might spend a couple of hours driving about, stopping and rummaging in the undergrowth, and driving on a bit more.

We had a rather good time finding most of our targets. One eluded us; I suspect that one might have gone with a recent hedge-trimming. We thought about driving home via one or two more geo-targets, but the increasing rain put us off of that idea.

We came home and had a lazy afternoon and evening. "er indoors ^TM" boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching Bake-Off and Tattoo Fixers.

Despite a rather good night’s kip I’m still rather tired. I might have an early night…

1 April 2018 (Sunday) - Bit Tired

As I left work this morning I had the feeling of it being the end of an era. My three-month secondment to the Tunbridge Wells hospital at Pembury is up, and (apart from occasional visits) I'm being relocated back to my usual base in Maidstone.

I've quite enjoyed my time at Pembury; I've worked with a good bunch of people. The work has been enough to keep me out of mischief, and I've seen several interesting cases. And I've even had my first ever snowed-in and had to stay over in accommodation at work (which was something of an adventure).

I must admit that I've not really enjoyed the journey to and fro, but (to be fair) I really don't like driving and my ideal job would be one without any driving.

If only my local hospital was a nicer place to work...

I’d been looking forward to listening to the church service on the radio as I drove home. I had been hoping for something inspiring and uplifting for Easter. I was rather disappointed to hear tired old rituals and banshee-like howling. I turned the radio off and put on my own random choice of music. A cover version of Sparks’ Number One Song in Heaven came on. Far more uplifting.

Once home, "er indoors ^TM" sorted out hot cross buns for brekkie and I had a look at the Internet. I had a message via geocaching dot com. The series of caches I hid in February have mostly drowned in the recent floods. I shall sort them out when the waters subside somewhat. Also the signatures on the paper logs don’t match the claimed finds on the web pages for some of the caches…. With any luck the paper logs will be too soggy for me to read them. I can’t be arsed with deleting people’s logs only to find they did me a favour by signing team names rather than as individuals (like I do nine times out of ten).

We got the dogs organized and walked round to the fountain. Yesterday I’d suggested that we had a dog reunion of Treacle’s family. Unfortunately not many people could make it, but "Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM" turned up with Pogo, and their brother Ethan showed up too. We had a good wander round the park, and ended up at the lower playpark. Being the lower one it was rather damp underfoot. So much so that the drainage ditches were very full. "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction ^TM" was warned, but when you are three years old you rarely listen to sage advice, and he fell in the water. Only up to his thigh, but it was enough to wind his mother up rather impressively.

We said our goodbyes came home; some walked happily, some squelched miserably. Once home, both of our dogs got baths. It never fails to amaze me how Fudge gets far grubbier than Treacle. Is it because he is lower, or because she jumps in to the ditches so that the mud washes off?

With dogs washed and settled we drove round to collect "My Boy ^TM" and we drove round to the Windmill for lunch. Usually on a Sunday we are either out walking miles or I am at work. Being post night shift meant I was able to do something I’d been hoping to do for ages; get Sunday lunch at the Windmill. There was an excellent ale selection, and Alan came up trumps with a rather good bit of dinner. We weren’t going to have dessert, but I was so glad we did. They were *so* good – and so cheap too.

Suitably stuffed we then went out to Stone Green Nursery. This is the sort of place from which garden centres get their plants. Periodically they open to the public.

Last year "er indoors ^TM" got some large garden pots from her mate and re-potting my monkey-puzzle tree gave me another large pot. I wanted to fill them all but bearing in mind I don’t know my acer from my evergreen we took "My Boy ^TM" along as he knows a thing or two about plants. We had a good mooch about looking at the various plants. My favourite bit was the home-made ice-cream stall.

I came away with two “Pieris Forest Flames” and a “sorbaria sorbifolia”. I’ve read all the verbals about them, but I shall treat them like I treat my acer and my monkey-puzzle tree. They will get a bucket of water when I remember, and whether they live or die is up to them. Gardening in my world is very much “survival of the fittest”.

We took "My Boy ^TM" home. I had a cuppa whilst he hid his new plant in the garden. Cheryl had left orders he was not to get any more plants, but as I pointed out she wouldn’t know what was in the garden anyway, and consequently he’d be in trouble for getting a plant whether he had or not. So he might as well get the plant anyway.

I sat down and fussed Rolo. I woke up an hour later, and we then said our goodbyes and came home.

I spent the evening falling asleep in front of the telly…perhaps I should have had a sleep during the day? I was glad I didn’t though. Today was rather good.