2 April 2025 (Tuesday) - Dead Butt Syndrome

A few weeks ago we had a run-in with a rather over-excitable horse which I reported to the public rights of way people at Kent County Council. Overnight I received an email from someone called Denis  saying that “Dangerous animals and livestock incidents are enforced by the HSE (Health and Safety Executive)”. I told Denis that a month had passed and it was all rather late.

It must be wonderful to work in a job that has absolutely no urgency.

 

Once I’d scoffed toast and watched another episode of “Orange is the New Black” I got ready for work. I went to my car which was absolutely miles away, brought it to the now vacant parking space outside the house and unloaded all the stuff I got in Whelan’s yesterday. One of the biggest problems with the late shifts is my being unable to park anywhere remotely near the house when I get home. Last night I drove past the house and then circled the local streets for twenty minutes trying to find a parking space. As did at least six other cars that I saw driving round also all trying to park. The trouble is that people don’t park sensibly. Bays that could hold seven cars have five as no one gives a thought as to how they are going to abandon their car.

 

I went round to the co-op to get dinner. Once I'd fed my loose change into the self-service machine I saw Martin getting his shopping. We chatted for a bit, then I set off to work. As I drove the pundits on the radio were playing recordings of yesterday's parliamentary debates. I say "debates"; "petty bickering" would be closer to the truth. Those elected to run the show were squabbling like ill-behaved brats. I was reminded of the fruits of my loin quarrelling when they were small and very tired. Perhaps if someone were to send the MPs to bed with slapped arses the country might be in a better state.

This was followed by an interview with the head honcho of the British Butterfly Brigade who said that butterfly numbers have been on the decrease for fifty years. He also said that buddleias are good for butterflies, so I'm doing my bit. Even if unintentionally.

 

I got to work and did my bit. As I skived so a contingent of senior managers from other local hospitals came through. As they wandered past one of then cheerfully said "hello Dave". I wonder who he was?  Something similar happened yesterday as well. As I was putting petrol into my car the woman at the next pump said hello and started chatting. She clearly knew me even though I had no idea who she was.

And then a colleague was complaining that she was in pain after running on account of her having "lazy glutes", or "dead butt syndrome" to use the technical term.

Apparently people who run or walk a lot get this if they stop running or walking for any length of time... which is probably why a long dog walk is hard work if I've not taken them out for a while.  It turns out that one of the recognised treatments for this condition (in sports clinics) is infusions of the injured person's own platelets. Platelet transfusions are something I oversee every day... but autologous (your own platelets) transfusions can be given for a range of conditions including sports injury and hair loss.

I might just over-over from NHSBT and rub a couple of doses on my head.

 

I was glad when home time came – I think I might have over-done the lifting what I emptied my car earlier. My back was rather tender.

As “er indoors ^TM” boiled up dinner I spotted she’d had a haircut. Go me. We had a rather good bit of dinner which we washed down with a bottle of chianti. Bearing in mind my being up at silly o’clock this morning I’m hoping this will have me fast asleep before too much longer.

1 April 2025 (Tuesday) - Before the Late Shift

After a night filled with vivid dreams of being neck deep in private ponds attempting to harvest water lilies I woke with a rather bad backache. Being the first of the month I shaved with a new razor blade (I’m mean – I make them last) then had my usual look on-line.

Yesterday I’d asked on one of the pond-related Facebook pages if anyone knew anywhere selling cheap lilies. Amazingly there weren’t that many smartarse replies. It seems that there are water lilies for sale for a tenner – in places like Liverpool and Manchester.

For some reason today’s Facebook feed was filled with adverts for matresses. I did a sleep test – my sleep chronotype is “dolphin” . Apparently “dolphins” are ten per cent of people, and they sleep like I do. My sleep score is sixty-six not that this means anything to me.

 

I munzed, wordled (piece – meter – level – jewel).  I saw that the geocache I’d chased after yesterday had been replaced. I couldn’t be arsed to go chasing it again. Instead I took the dogs to Orlestone Woods. It can be muddy there, but it is a shorter walk and closer to home. We went there, had a good walk round the woods and were home about two hours earlier than when we come home from Kings Wood.

 

As we drove home the pundits on the radio were discussing meetings in the workplace. It was claimed that the average person spends over twenty hours a week in meetings and is still expected to do a full time job, and that many people are doing the actual work in their own time in evenings and weekends.

I can remember when I was a manager telling my boss that I didn’t want to go to any more meetings. He knew what he wanted to happen and we could all save time by his simply giving out orders. He replied that I wasn’t a team player.

I also once put in a formal suggestion that a random time of day be picked, and anyone found in a meeting anywhere in the hospital at that time be summarily sacked as they clearly weren’t doing any work. That didn’t go down well.

I was once ordered to a meeting to discuss our workplace’s approach to another upcoming meeting, the outcome of which had already been decided (but we still went through both meetings).

Meetings are an utter waste of time… why do so many people love them.

 

I uploaded last month’s diaries to the backup, put my winter shirts away and got out the summer ones (I change shirts at daylight saving time) and got ready for the off.

 

I went to Sainsburys to get some petrol. I got lunch whilst I was at it, and then set off up the motorway singing along to Ivor Biggun songs. With a little time on my hands I took a small (forty miles) diversion up to Sheerness and Whelans to get some more garden odds and ends. With most places selling garden gnomes at about ten to fifteen quid, Whelans knock them out (unpainted) for a fiver. I got gnome paint and gnome varnish as well. And an unpainted Rupert Bear statue whilst I was at it. Hopefully gnome paint will do for Rupert; if it does, that will give me something to do on my next day off.

 

As I drove back down Detling hill I saw that petrol there was seven pence a litre more expensive than what I'd just paid in Ashford. I smiled a smug smile. The smug smile lasted until I got to the Aylesford Sainsburys where their petrol was five pence a litre cheaper than what I'd paid. That's a variation of twelve pence per litre in twenty-five miles. It pays to shop about.

I bought a box of half a dozen beers for the weekend and some tennis balls for dog club, then went on to work. I parked up... and fell asleep.

Fortunately  I woke in time for the late shift and as is so often the case all the good bits of the day were over and done with by the early afternoon. I don't dislike my job like I used to... but sometimes I do find that work is hard work...

31 March 2025 (Monday) - Rather Busy

Yesterday I acquired a pile of laundry from the most recent fruit of my loin. Having got two loads sorted last night, finding myself awake at four o’clock this morning I put a third load in, and went back to bed for a bit. That load was out on the line and the last lot was in washing by half past seven.

 

Before I shaved I stepped on the scales. I’ve shifted another pound this week. I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet. It was much the same as ever. People all around the world were finding fault with President Trump… including some Lutheran bishops who’ve got the arse because the President has established a new task force to eradicate anti-Christian bias. You’d think that bishops would like someone going round enforcing their crackpot nonsense wouldn’t you? It turns out that the crackpot nonsense being enforced isn’t exactly their specific interpretation of crackpot nonsense. There’s religion for you. From my days of being a Steward in the Methodist church I know that there’s not two so-called Christians on the planet who actually believe the same thing.

Two good friends had birthdays today; neither of whom I see often enough these days. One lives in Cheltenham and we’re hoping to go down to visit later in the year – we’ve been looking at dog friendly B&Bs in the area. The other was someone with whom I walked to school every day for years. We were in the Boys Brigade together, went fishing and drinking together… he’s lived in Sweden for over thirty years. We meet up on rare occasions. Did you know there’s no ferries from the UK to Scandinavia any more? Whenever he comes to the UK he faces a car drive of a thousand miles.

I munzed, got Wordle (booty) on the fourth attempt following shine, black and brood, hung out a second load of washing, put a third load in, then took the dogs out.

 

We went up to the woods where we had a good walk. Relatively uneventful… up to the point where Bailey found a leg bone. She had been rather subdued earlier; eating grass in the garden this morning. She had bellyache and then ate the foul muck she found when we are out. Like a deer’s leg bone.

 

We came home where I sorted us a cuppa, hung out more washing then went on a little road trip.

A new geocache had gone live in Tenterden. Normally I wouldn’t have bothered but I could combine that with some garden shopping. Or so I thought.

I got to Turner’s field in Tenterden where I drew a blank. The description said “directly above you is a branch, there is a hole in the top of the branch”. The branches I could reach had nothing. There was an obvious-looking hidey-hole about fifteen feet up, but I wasn’t going to climb up. It later transpired that the chap whose geocache it was is a complete novice, and he plans to put the thing out tomorrow.

 

From there I drove down to Rolvenden and World of Water. The filter in my little pond needs cleaning out with annoying regularity. I had this idea that a pressure filter (like the big pond has) might be a plan. Sadly the smallest available is designed for a pond five times the size and costs over two hundred quid.

I had a look at water lilies too. Last year they were being sold for twelve quid a plant. This year the going rate is twenty-five quid.

I came home via Tenterden garden centre where the water lilies were going at thirty quid each.

If any of my loyal readers know of a pond or river that has water lilies… Failing that I’m going to send “My Boy ^TM” into the pond the next time he goes fishing.

 

I voomed round the garden with the bionic burner, then once I’d arranged a car service for next week I had a look on Amazon. They had water lilies… three for twenty quid. It pays to shop around. However these were billed as “maximum depth 30 cm” so that’s no good. The garden gnomes on Amazon were (surprisingly) more expensive than Whelan’s. I ordered some fish food for the pond fish though. Rather than just re-ordering what I used to get I had a look, and for two quid more than I usually spend I got a bag of over twice the size. With Darcie now eating the fish food (as well as the dogs) I need as much as I can get.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up fish and chips then went bowling. I settled on the sofa underneath a pile of dogs and watched “Orange is the New Black”.

Today was supposedly a day off – I’m worn out.

30 March 2025 (Sunday) - Early Shift

For years I've been struggling with a bedside clock with a very small LED display which I simply can't see from the bed without lifting my head and squinting my eyes. My new one arrived yesterday evening; good old Amazon. It took a bit of farting around to set up but I've now got a clock which projects the time onto the ceiling. I love it. It was reduced from over thirty quid to eight quid - it pays to look at the bargain pages on Amazon. Sadly it came with a USB connection rather than a plug, but such is life. I certainly slept a bit better being able to just look upwards whenever I wondered what the time was rather than having to lift my carcass up. 

It was a shame that “er indoors ^TM” and her entourage had to be quite so noisy when they all went to the loo at three o'clock, and an even bigger shame that the stupidity that is daylight saving had to happen last night but there it is. With an alarm set I was wide awake at five o'clock (or four o'clock as it would have been yesterday). I got up, made toast and watched an episode of "Orange is the New Black" in which everyone kept their chests in check which was a novel break with tradition for that show.

 

I got dressed and set off for work. As I drove there was an interview on the radio with someone who was farming in the Scilly Isles. It sounded like a rather beautiful place to be, but programs about scenic places are best done on the telly; not the radio.

And there was talk about the UK government's response to President Trump's imposition of tariffs on the sale of British goods to America. I don't understand what President Trump is up to with these tariffs. I looked them up. From what I can work out, the American government is putting a tax onto various things that America is importing. This tax being paid to the American government by whoever it is that is doing the buying. In theory it makes the stuff more expensive for the Americans and encourages them to buy home-produced things. In practice shipping stuff half-way round the world ain't cheap and so if it was cheaper to buy home-produced things the Americans would already be doing so. 

And having had a tariff put on their product, the sellers generally say "get stuffed!" and sell their stuff elsewhere. Tariffs hurt the ones buying the products, not the ones selling them, but President Trump, like those who vote for him, doesn't really understand what tariffs are all about.

 

I got to work and did that which I couldn't avoid. I'm going off working at the weekends. Back in the day on weekend we were open only for emergency cases as there was only one person in, whereas during the week there's a full house. However over the years things have changed and the workload has increased massively. But the staffing level has remained constant.  It's much the same issue that GPs face. The government has blithely announced that GP surgeries will be open in the evenings and at weekends but not done much (anything at all) about providing more (any) staff.

 

Just as I was about to come home so my phone told me about a new geocache... one specifically thanking me for my contributions to the ancient and honourable art of hunting for plastic pots under rocks. The puzzle had what looked like an obvious theme.. I had the right idea, got the thumbs-up and I came home singing along to Ivor Biggun songs, taking a little diversion on the way. First one to find it... result.

 

I came home and was immediately in trouble. Littlun was holding court with the dogs in the hallway as I walked in. She screamed and ran, and I could hear her in the kitchen telling her grandmother (in a very indignant tone) that grandad had made her jump.

Littlun helped me feed the fish… I say helped. Like the dogs, she too scoffs the fish food.

And with the fish fed “er indoors ^TM” took littlun home. I watched more “Orange is the New Black”, then had a little doze until “er indoors ^TM” returned. She came back with a load of laundry from the most recent fruit of my loin. The first lot is already hanging up, and the undercracker load is going through right now. I’ll get the rest scrubbed and out on the line tomorrow.

 

Oh… today was Mother’s Day. It’s been four years since my mum went. Back in the day the tribes would gather for Mother’s Day. She used to love it. And today would have been her sixty-eighth wedding anniversary too.

29 March 2025 (Saturday) - Oko Lele

I was up an hour or so earlier than I might have been today. I went into the garden; last night Bailey caught a mouse. I cornered her and she dropped it. I put it up by the pond in the naïve hope that it was in shock rather than dead, and this morning it was gone. I suspect the local cats have had it.

I made toast and watched an episode of “Orange is the New Black”. There are those who having watched a TV show won’t watch it again because they know what is going to happen. I find that in the better-made TV shows there’s a lot of stuff you miss on the first time round and this is certainly true in this show.

 

I sparked up my lap-top. People were again ranting about the latest antics of President Trump. I’ve formed the impression that where the world is going wrong with Mr Trump is that we are all holding him to the same standard of other politicians. But he isn’t a politician. He is a second-rate celebrity. He doesn’t know politics; he doesn’t actually know very much at all. He tries to boost his ego by appealing to and amusing the more simple-minded who will vote for him. In many ways he reminds me of the thicker cub scouts with whom I dealt when I was a scout leader.

Boris Johnson was much the same, as is Nigel Farage. It’s not about policies. It’s about personalities. This is perhaps the biggest failing of democracy; people who aren’t capable of making a sensible decision vote for those who amuse and entertain them. I can remember back when Boris Johnson had been caught out in some of his bigger lies, and several family members were laughing about it and cheering for “good old Boris” in much the same way that they would for a TV star or sporting personality.

 

I sent out birthday wishes to two friends, then had a look at my emails. The geocache we replaced on Thursday had been found and all was well with it.

A diary entry from last month had attracted a comment. On 15 February I had a rather good day. Someone claiming to be called Angelika commented with a little advert for some crackpot who can solve all relationship issues, such as breakup, divorce, pregnancy by casting magic spells. I deleted her nonsense.

And I had an email from Lendwithcare. Edgar has got all the money he needs for his goat farm. Here’s hoping he makes a go of it.

 

I added “hairy bollox” and “wazzo pair of jugs” to “er indoors ^TM”’s shopping list simply by telling the Alexa to do so, and woke “er indoors ^TM” and the dogs. I munzed, got Wordle on the second attempt, cleared a bumper crop of dog turds from the garden and got ready for the off.

 

Being Saturday we went round to Repton and Dog Club. As we drove Steve was doing the “guess the lyrics” competition on the radio. “It's a crazy situation you always keep me waiting” No? it was Kylie Minogue’s “I should be so lucky”,,, in more ways than one as I texted to Steve.

We got to the Dog Club field and opened up. The field had dried out considerably since last week, and we had a good time. Mostly. Some of the bigger dogs do get a bit boisterous sometimes, but it was the second smallest (Bailey) who disgraced herself today.

On the way home I was one year out with the mystery year – when was Spaghetti junction opened?

 

“er indoors ^TM” set off to craft club. I took the dogs home, and after I’d done myself a cuppa and counted the Dog Club takings I cracked on with the ironing whilst watching more “Orange is the New Black”. After two episodes I’d got it all done.

 

I had a little pootle in the garden until “er indoors ^TM” came home with “Darcie WaaWaa ^TM” who was up for a little sleepover. Apparently she’s told her mother that she is going to stay at Morgan and Bailey’s house. I’m under no illusions as to who she has come to see,

We played dog-snogging and watched oko lele; a rather surreal Malaysian cartoon about a boy scout and two cavemen who get into all sorts of strange adventures. So far they’ve met pirates, a genie, a green cyclops, Monkey (from the seventies TV show) and a rather foxy cave-woman in a leopard-skin bikini who drives round on a silver motorbike and brandishes a bazooka.

 

Littlun has fallen asleep at the moment, and I’m still watching oko lele. Morgan is watching over littun.

There’s talk of a bubble bath later… I’ve wished her grandmother good luck with that.

28 March 2025 (Friday) - Dull (Again)

Yesterday with no alarm set I slept through till ten to eight. Today with an alarm set I woke at ten to three. I dozed on and off, and eventually gave up trying to sleep at half past five. I made toast and started watching “Orange is the New Black” on Netflix (again), then had a little look at the Internet in the desperate hope that something might have happened overnight. It hadn’t really.

Someone who was very big in my life fifteen to twenty years ago had posted an anti-dog post to Facebook effectively claiming they do little else than bark, shit and fart. Many years ago I would probably have agreed with him… but fifteen years ago I found myself in a very black place. A small dog was there for me when others weren’t. He died four years ago and I still miss him. Back in the day I used to organize all sorts of social events and activities. These days if my dogs can’t go, I won’t go.

I never used to be a dog person.

 

My nephew was having a birthday today; he was twenty-six. Where does the time go? I sent birthday wishes to all three of his Facebook accounts then Munzed, and got ready for work.

I stopped off at the co-op where some idiot was walking past with one of those surgical face masks tucked up under (*not* over) his nose. I managed not to laugh out loud; what do these people think they will achieve? All the time their nose is sticking out they might as well not bother with the thing.

I got my lunch and scanned it through the self-service machine. It wanted six quid. I told it to go whistle and took my stuff to the counter where the nice lady at the till charged three pounds fifty. You need to watch these self-service machines.

 

I set off up the motorway to work. As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about the King whose cancer treatment has hit a "bump in the road" and he has had to cancel his official engagements for today. He's being amazingly open about his illness - you'd have never known anything about the late Queen having been ill, would you. She kept going right to the very end.

And there was talk about the WH Smith chain having been sold and being re-branded as TG Jones.

They then wheeled on that odious Nigel Farage. One thing he said struck a chord. When challenged about the Reform UK MP with whom he’s had a falling-out he said that Reform UK has millions of people who are still loyal to him. Loyal to him. Not the party, but to him. Reform UK, like the Brexit party before it is nothing more than a cult.

The mind-set he encourages makes me thoroughly ashamed to be British. 

 

Work was work. It usually is. The money is nice and I work with a decent bunch of people, but I'm finding more and more these days that I really can't be arsed with it. Still, it's only (on average) two and a half days a week, and occasionally it can be interesting... if you like that sort of thing.

 

With work worked I came home. “er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching celebrity Bake-Off. It was rather good…

27 March 2025 (Thursday) - Rostered Day Off

With no alarm set I woke four hours later than I did yesterday. I got up and made toast, then had a look at the Internet. I was presented with a memory. Three years ago we took a drive to have a look at two little puppies. Back them Morgan and Bailey were going to be called William and Spud… if I’d had my way.

There wasn’t much else happening on-line. I Munzed – our clan has reached its monthly target and I was awarded with a mace, a typewriter, colour credits and zeds. Never a dull moment in Munzee. I then got Wordle on the second attempt. Go me.

 

I got dressed and despite Alexa telling me about a weather warning for fog I took the dogs out. There wasn’t any fog.

As we drove the pundits on the radio were talking to the author of a new book about the relationship between Paul McCartney and John Lennon. There was then ten minutes spent talking about how wonderful the Beatles had been. Personally I never really warmed to them, but I just see that as yet another example of how out of step I am with the rest of the world.

We got to the woods where we’d had reports of a geocache we’d hidden being missing. It was; we replaced it. It’s no trouble to replace them when they are missing; it gives us a target for our dog walk. But you really can put out a new one quicker than you can tell me that one isn’t there.

From the missing geocache we then followed a four-mile circuit round the woods. I saw a slow worm. Morgan rolled in something foul. Bailey ate several disgusting objects that I couldn’t get off of her including a dead mouse and a dead frog.

 

We came home to find that the double-glazing people had been. They came two months ago and put new windows in. I wasn’t impressed with the finish, and they came this morning to put it right. If you don’t look too closely it doesn’t look *that* bad.

If any of my loyal readers are thinking about replacing their windows I can tell you one firm to avoid.

 

I made us both a cuppa then spent a bit of time in the garden. I mowed the lawn, went round with the garden vacuum cleaner, cleaned both ponds’ filters, and re-potted some of the little potted plants. I then found myself looking at the rockery and walked away. Shifting rocks would definitely do for a bad back.

I then spent a little while looking at house building and contents insurance. Bearing in mind the debacle that Sainsburys made of our electrical issue over Christmas (and cost us the thick end of two hundred quid) I had a little look about on Go Compare and got some cheaper quotes. And some more expensive quotes. Putting in the same information gave a range of quotes from under three hundred quid to over a thousand. It certainly pays to shop about.

 

I went down the road to the dentist. On the third attempt they kept the appointment with the hygienist. Having paid for it I thought I’d have my money’s worth before I go somewhere else.

 

“er indoors ^TM” and ”Auntie Chel ^TM” have gone to the Leas Cliff Hall for the evening for some Bob Marley tribute band thingy. I sat on the sofa with the dogs and scoffed pizza whilst watching a film on Netflix. “No Hard Feelings” was crap. I turned it off after half an hour, and watched more “Beef” in which everyone now hates everyone else with a passion.

 

And now my Facebook feed is filling up with adverts for house insurance… At least my back isn’t as bad as it was.

26 March 2025 (Wednesday) - Dull

Another restless night. I *always* have those when I’ve got an alarm set. I made a point of staying in bed until six o’clock this morning.

Over brekkie I watched an episode of “Beef” in which the main characters did the dirty deed for no adequately explored reason, and I then sparked up my lap-top. The internet was still there. Not a lot had changed overnight really. American friends were still bemoaning the many failings of President Trump. Personally I can’t help but feel that we might all learn from history here. There are many historic parallels here, but the vast majority of wannabe-dictators through the ages were a lot younger than Mr. Trump. If I lived in America I’d be keeping my head down and waiting for nature to take its course rather than having him create retrospective laws calling for the internment of any dissidents.

And our local MP had posted something about the proposed second Thames estuary crossing. One of the many reasons that our previous MP wasn’t popular was his endless posting to social media about what other people had done whilst rarely (if ever) seeming to do anything himself.

Our new chap seems to has followed in the footsteps of his predecessor.

 

Pausing only briefly to get lunch from the co-op I set off to work. There was an interesting statistic mentioned on the radio today. These days children are more likely to have a mobile phone (over 90%) than they are to live with both parents (71%).

There was also an interview with the Ukrainian Foreign Minister.  Bearing in mind the hectoring and demanding attitude from Ukrainian officials over the last few years, she sounded incredibly different in today’s interview compared to similar interviews of the past. She sounded genuinely grateful for the international help that her country has had.

And there was an interview with one of the coaches of some UK sporting team or other. Apparently the UK is taking part in some big sporting event and the odds are against the UK team. But this coach says that he was an “internal optimist”.

 

I got to work and my phone beeped. The razor blades I’d ordered from Amazon less than twelve hours previously had arrived.

That was a result.

 

Work was rather hard work today, but I spent the morning looking forward to dinner time. Whilst at the co-op as well as a coronation chicken sandwich I’d also got myself some apple and salted caramel dipper.

Such a disappointment…

 

Today was dull. But I’m not at work tomorrow, so am hoping for a decent kip.

25 March 2025 (Tuesday) - Back to Work

Morgan woke me in the night as he jumped off the bed, but “er indoors ^TM” chased after him. Having been woken I just lay there until five o'clock when I gave up trying to sleep and got up. Having set an alarm meant I wouldn't get much sleep.

I made toast and watched more "Beef". It's an oddly captivating story. There wasn't much happening on Facebook at six o'clock so once I'd scraped the ice from the car I set off to work.  I went via the co-op where I got their meal deal and some other odds and ends. Sadly either the woman on the till, or the till itself was a bit special. I had to pay for the stuff in the meal deal first, get the change and then bag it all up *then* buy the second load of stuff in an entirely separate transaction.

What was that all about.

 

As I came out of the co-op so another special chap arrived. He had one of those cars with a deliberately noisy exhaust. He didn't so much park it as abandon it in the middle of the car park, and got out of the car shouting a running commentary of his life to whoever might be listening. I'm sure the locals loved that at half past six in the morning.

 

As I drove to work the pundits on the radio were talking about how American government officials had texted all sorts of confidential information to a journalist. Sadly that's just the sort of thing the world seems to expect from America at the moment. Foa all that everyone seems to laugh at the "Make America Great Again" thing, the sentiment is spot-on. It's just being pursued by entirely the wrong people.

And there was talk about Morrisons closing stores and cafes. This isn't surprising really. We have razor blades, toilet roll and dog food delivered as Amazon is cheaper than any supermarket.

 

I got to work for the early shift and cracked on. I had hoped a day at work might be something of a rest for my back; it wasn't. I really should have phoned in sick and put my feet up. But an early start made for an early finish.

I came home and ran round the garden with the watering can. The garden does look better after a week’s work on it.  

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a rather good pasta bake which we scoffed whilst watching the semi-final of “Throw Down”. The one I thought would be going home turned out to be potter of the week.

 

These days I do feel that a day at work is rather unproductive… and dull.

24 March 2025 (Monday) - Lazy Day

I had a go on the scales this morning. My weight is under sixteen stone for the first time in (probably) ten years. Do I feel any healthier? Probably not. Sadly my blood pressure isn’t coming down.

I made toast and had a look at the Internet.

Local Facebook pages are entertaining. The Ashford one this morning featured quite a lot of ranting about plans to demolish a local shopping precinct and replace it with a car park. Sadly for all that everyone was saying what they should do with the location, pretty much no one seemed to know exactly who the mysterious “they” were.

And on that same page a young lad was touting for trade for his newly-started gardening business claiming he had lots of gardening experience from sorting his grandmother’s back yard.

These people vote, you know

 

I took the dogs out. As we drove to the woods the pundits on the radio were interviewing the Minister for Transport about the debacle at Heathrow Airport last week when the place closed for a day after a fire closed an electrical sub-station. It is now being claimed that the place had enough power from other sources. Personally I can’t see what anyone expects from the Minister for Transport. Heathrow Airport isn’t under government control; it is run by a private company like pretty much all of the country’s infrastructure.

 

We got to the woods and had a good walk. Last week the place had pretty much dried out, but some light rain over the weekend had turned the place into a quagmire. The dogs got filthy… and all found fox poo too.

 

We came home for baths, and once they were bathed I cracked on in the garden. I wanted to plant the last of the viola and the alpines I’d bought last week, and have a little tidy-up. I didn’t think it would take more than an hour or so; it took two. My back was rather tender at the end of it.

Rather than cracking on with more garden stuff I decided to take it easy for the rest of the day…

 

I got a spicy chicken Polish pot noodle for lunch from the shop over the road, and scoffed it whilst watching the last episode of the current season of “Squid Game”, then had a little look at the monthly accounts. They aren’t bad really… but it has to be said that the two hundred and fifty quid I blew on the garden last week has made a dent. But finding myself far more flush than I was a few short years ago I decided to do some good. I signed up with “Lend With Care” – it’s a way to help people across the world. I invested the amount of money I might spend on a round in the pub in a Philippine pig farm run by a chap called Edgar. It might help him; it might not. Time will tell.

I then started watching “Beef” on Netflix as the washing machine had a go at the undercrackers. It was entertaining enough – “Beef”; not washing the undercrackers.

 

“er indoors ^TM” went bowling. I stayed sitting in front of the telly and watched a film on Netflix. “The Electric State” was a rather good film. Starring her from “Stranger Things” it was a sort of a cross between “Mad Max” and “Toy Story”.

 

My back is better than it was… but it is still giving me twinges.

23 March 2025 (Sunday) - Still Got Backache

I was rather late to bed last night, and slept through till eight o’clock this morning. I woke to the sound of Morgan jumping off the bed. That is a wake-up call; he don’t hang about in the morning…

Perhaps I do him a disservice… but he can be a pain in the glass. If I take my time before getting up and chasing after him and he gets to the back door before me, there will be a pile of turds by the time I get there. If I leap up and come downstairs with him and get to the door before him, it’s a different story. He pootles round the garden, sniffing everything and anything, and often goes back to bed without doing anything.

 

I put my watch on. It can be rather sarcastic at times. As I put it on this morning it told me that I have activity goals, and asked if today was the day I would meet them. Bearing in mind that it unilaterally told me that my step count goal was six thousand steps per day and that up till yesterday I’d done over twelve thousand steps a day for over a week I thought it was being a tad out of order.

I had a little look at the Internet. It was still there. People had been enjoying the decent weather yesterday and had been posting photos of what they had been up to. I like that as I’m nosey. There was consternation being expressed about the cost of eating out on some of the local pages. There’s a pub in Folkestone charging a fiver for a portion of peas. We go out for a meal with friends every couple of months and the bill comes in at the thick end of two hundred quid. Pubs ain’t a cheap option.

I munzed, got Wordle on the fifth attempt (dopey) and got ready for the day.

 

There was a knock on the door. A little while ago a group of us would meet up once a month in the town centre for brekkie. But I could never hear a word that was said in the place as the background was too noisy and the place echoed. Having worked out that everyone could eat at home cheaper than it would cost for just me to go to the café we decided to reinstate monthly meet-ups, but have them at home. And that’s what we did today. Five of us had a rather good full English brekkie, and put the world to rights.

 

We then took the dogs for a little outing. A little wander round the church at Appledore getting clues to find a nearby geocache. Finding it gave us a geo-souvenir.

As we walked back to the car we walked past an antique shop. I liked the look of a planter in the window… but not the price. And the more I looked the more overpriced I saw everything was.  

We did have a plan to have a crafty half on the way home. We stopped off at the Old Dairy taproom. There was very limited space, and as what I can only describe as the family from hell marched in I decided I didn’t fancy staying.

Our journey home would take us past the local CAMRA pub of the year. We had a look. One end was a posh restaurant, the other had several people standing round a pool table swearing. We didn’t stay there either. 

 

We came home a little earlier than we might have done. “er indoors ^TM” and the dogs had a little sleep. I wrote up some CPD. Dull but necessary.

“er indoors ^TM” found the lamb I had in the freezer for plov, and boiled it into a rather good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching more “Throw Down”.

 

My back still hurts, and I’m not feeling quite the full one hundred per cent. I hope I’m not sickening for something.

22 March 2025 (Saturday) - Darcie, Dog Club, Backache

I spent much of the night listening for sounds of littlun, but I didn’t hear a thing from her. What little sleep I did have was rather restless. I woke in a cold sweat shortly after midnight following a nightmare in which littlun had decided that she wanted to play “Squid Game”. As she’s only three we played a non-lethal version in which every time she stuffed up, grandad got an electric shock. And after waking up at half past five following another nightmare in which the theme tune to her favourite You-Tube video had been re-written to “It’s Steve and Maggie – squawking like a bast”, and somehow I’d got the blame.

 

I gave up trying to sleep and made toast. As I peered into the Internet I saw two friends had birthdays today. One was a colleague who was forty today. Forty? I would have guessed late twenties. And another was a chap with whom I went to school so I know how old he is… even though he has always seemed about twenty years older than me.

I munzed and wordled, and then woke the girls and the dogs.

 

It took a little longer than usual to get ready this morning, Darcie doesn’t go as quick as she might, but we were soon all on our way to Repton. Dog Club was rather busy this morning; loads of dogs; loads of mayhem. Littlun loved it and spent quite a bit of time playing ball with Roo (one of the larger dogs). Roo loved it; as did littlun. It was only a shame that some of the bigger dogs crashed into me during their chase game which rather put my back out.

 

We came home via the bakery down the road. We usually have a bun with our coffee on a Saturday morning but we’d forgotten to get any today. So I popped into the local bakery. This place is usually a disappointment, but I thought we might give it another chance, and sadly it will be a while before we go back.

It is places like this that give me absolutely no confidence in on-line reviews. Scoring very well on TripAdvisor the reviews seem to be describing a different place. The cream slices we had today were stale with rather foul chemicals in place of cream, and were exactly what we’ve had before from there, but people on-line can’t speak highly enough about them. I’m reminded of an author friend of mine who has been given five-star reviews for some of his books by people who openly admit they’ve not read them.

 

With yukky buns scoffed littlun ran riot. The dogs all sat with me, and I fell asleep in front of “Toobs” (as littlun called You-Tube). I was fast asleep for over an hour. I woke in time to say goodbye to “er indoors ^TM” and “Darcie WaaWaa ^TM” who were off to a lambing event at the school farm in Tenterden.

I tried to do a little tidying-up but my back wasn’t having any of it, so I sat on my bum and watched more “Squid Game 2” on Netflix. I could remember the first season being a tad slow to get going; the second season has effectively wasted the first two episodes, but it eventually perked up.

 

The girls returned and wreaked havoc before littlun was returned to her home. I watched more “Squid Game 2” then fell asleep again.

It wasn’t long before “er indoors ^TM” returned, and hot on her heels came Chris, Sarah and Steve. We had a rather good evening on the infinity table. A game of “Game of Life”, a game of “Sorry”, a game of “Ticket to Ride”… a rather good evening.

 

Today’s step count has come in at about ten thousand steps less than the average for the last week…

My back hurt when I got up this morning and it has been giving me gyp all day.

21 March 2025 (Friday) - Another Cancelled Appointment

Treacle had rather spread out last night; I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to reclaim any bed space; finally giving up and getting up at half past six. I had a look in the garden; something had again been splashing in the little pond.

 

I made toast and had a look at the Internet. I had an email from geocaching HQ. There’s to be a geo-picnic in June in Lydd. I put that in the diary. I’d missed a geo-meet-up last night; there has been a little get-together in Frittenden. Geocaching HQ openly admit that their messaging and notification system doesn’t work with complete reliability which is why whenever I organise a meet-up I advertise it far and wide so no one misses out. Sadly in this respect (as in many others) I am in a minority.

And I saw that a friend was having a birthday today. Fifty years ago me and Dougal were best of mates. I last saw him in the flesh twenty years ago…

 

I munzed and wordled and then popped round to B&Q. Usually I avoid that place like the plague, but I needed a cover for the small pond. A trellis would be ideal but it wouldn’t easily fit in the car so I went to B&Q, got one and carried it home. Compared to previous visits this was rather good.

 

I then took the dogs up to the woods. As I drove the pundits on the radio were interviewing the Secretary of State for Energy Security and Net Zero. If you listened to what he said, he sounded rather impressive… until you realised that what he was saying bore little (if any) relation to reality. He was adamant that at the end of this government’s term the average household will be paying three hundred quid a year less for leccie and gas. However when presented with the fact that the average household is currently paying a hundred and fifty quid a year more than this time last year, he all but stuck his fingers in his ears and shouted “la-la-la-I’m-not-listening”.

We got to the woods. Again there were only three other cars in the car park. We had a good walk. Despite an empty car park there were quite a few young ladies jogging round in tight spandex. Some of them might as well have run round in the nip for all that they were keeping secret.

As we walked I had a phone call from the dentist cancelling today’s appointment.

 

We came home. I made us a cuppa then went down to the dentist to reschedule. I made an appointment for next week, and I made a point of telling them that this appointment is set in stone. They asked what I meant by that. I told them that over the years they have cancelled more appointments than they have kept, and I don’t want this one cancelling.

As I walked out I heard the receptionist telling her mate that they are receptionists, not punchbags. I shall find another dentist; I’ve not been happy with this one for years.

 

I drove round to Bybrook Barn to get water lilies, comets, compost and rockery plants. They had compost and rockery plants, but no lilies and the fish weren’t for sale. Apparently it is too early in the season for anything pond-related…

I went round to Dobbies where there was an incredibly helpful chap. They had a range of lilies; which colour would I like? And whilst they didn’t have any comets they had a lot of small goldfish. The chap said he’d scoop up a large net-full and hand pick the ones I liked. Dobbies aren’t cheap, but they are helpful.

 

I got the water lily and goldfish into the small pond, then sawed the trellis to shape. When the saw went through my thumb there wasn’t *that* much blood really. And then I painted the trellis. I hate painting trellis; it takes an absolute age. I then shifted some of the old garden ornaments to the end of the garden; I had this sudden stroke of genius (I have those from time to time) that they might add to the rockery.

I did plan to pot the last of the violas I bought on Wednesday and the alpines I bought today, but by the time I was in a position to do that my back was playing up and it was four o’clock. I tidied up and made up both a cuppa. I shall pot the plants over the weekend.

 

“er indoors ^TM” set off to fetch “Darcie WaaWaa ^TM” who was coming up for a little sleepover. We had a game of “doll kiss chase” then littlun and Treacle had a great game chasing around the living room. We all scoffed far too much pizza, and littlun went to bed amazingly early.

I suspect she will be up before midnight, but we shall see…

 

20 March 2025 (Thursday) - Holiday Day Four

I woke feeling full of energy and raring to go – at three o’clock. I dozed on and off for the rest of the night and finally nodded off just as “er indoors ^TM”’s alarm went off at seven.

I voomed straight into the garden and had a look at the ponds. The big one is clearing; something has been splashing in the little one. Three fish vanished from that pond last year. I shall have to think about building some sort of cover for it.

 

I made toast and had my usual rummage round the Internet. Much of Kent was seemingly up in arms about the closure of one of the county’s oldest pubs. I did wonder just how many of those crying crocodile tears had ever been into the place; let alone spent any money in there.

 

I took the dogs to the woods. As we drove the Defence Minister was being interviewed on the radio, and he made a point of not answering a single question that was put to him.

We got to Kings Wood; the car park was all but empty with only three other cars there. We started our walk and saw a herd of deer within minutes. Not ten seconds behind them came a jogger and his dog. I commented on the deer; the jogger wasn’t having any of it. He was adamant that I was mistaken. There had been no deer – if there had been his dog would have been after them like a shot. I smiled sweetly.

We saw more deer later in our walk as well…

At about the half-way point (the furthest point at which a car or van can get into the woods) we met a group of half a dozen people in Forestry England clothing with three Forestry England pick-up trucks. One of them had a trailer attached to it inside which about a dozen dead deer were hanging. The Forestry England people fussed the dogs and we got talking. I commented how we’d seen deer today, and this year we’d seen deer more often than we didn’t. “And that’s the problem” one of the Forestry England people commented. Apparently the rate at which we saw deer in previous years was about right; maybe once every two months. It would seem that last year and this year they’ve been breeding like things possessed and are having to be culled. I was reminded of Bob from the snake club who was a gamekeeper in the Challock area twenty years ago. He said that he was under orders to shoot one deer a day every day to keep the numbers in check.

 

With walk walked we came home. Yesterday we saw loads of people in the woods. There was hardly anyone there today. With “er indoors ^TM” having an office day I made myself a cuppa, munzed and wordled, and had a look in the garden.

The plan for today was to sort the larger of the gravelled areas, and that’s what I did. I painted up the old jug part of the water feature, then painted the wood bits I’d sanded yesterday. I varnished the jug, heaved out the old garden ornaments and heaved in the new. Put the old planter into place, filled it with compost and planted those violas I’d bought yesterday. There was a minor hiccup in that I thought I’d bought nine violas; I’d actually got twenty. Did I ever mention I’ve got a degree in maths?

I had a spot of lunch (yesterday’s leftovers) then spent an hour or so painting gnomes before running round with the watering can and then doing the “feeding the fish” ritual.

I took a few photos of today’s efforts. Far from being a week off work; I’m working harder than ever. And I’ve a list of things as long as my arm to do tomorrow.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up pork chops which we scoffed whilst watching more “Throw Down”. Painting gnomes isn’t entirely unlike what the potters do in that show.

I’m supposedly having a week’s holiday from work this week. I’ve not stopped.

19 March 2025 (Wednesday) - Gardening

I ached again this morning when I got up. This really sucks. Yesterday all I did was walk the dogs, mow the lawn, an hour’s light gardening and took Bailey to the dentist and I’m all in the next day.

I made toast and had a look at Facebook as I do. Friends were complaining about the government’s cuts to the welfare system. I’m not saying that the system was perfect; it probably needed an overhaul. But as a life-long leftie it bothers me that the Labour party only seem to stand up for their values when they are not in a position to do anything about that for which they claim to stand.

And I saw an advert for cable ties. You can buy them for pennies from a hardware shop to tie things with. Or you can buy them as a fashion accessory for hundreds of pounds. Your choice.

 

I munzed and wordled, then loaded the dogs into the car and we went up to the woods for a walk. We’d had reports of one of my geocaches being missing; it was. We replaced it as we went round the woods on our walk. There were quite a few people about today. As we went so the dogs ran up to another dog which immediately kicked off. I whistled and my three ran straight back to me. As we walked off I could hear that dog’s owners having a heated argument about why their dog can’t come when called like my dogs did. When my hounds come when called it is rather impressive.

 

We came home. The two smallest dogs had a bath. They’d both rolled in different disgusting things. And once bathed I sorted us both a cuppa then got on with my plans for the day. I hung out the washing.. and had to pause that to gather up an epic crop of dog turds. I then disassembled the pond’s pressure filter for the annual replacement of the ultra-violet light bulb. I eventually got it all apart (it took some doing), and got the old bulb out (that took some doing too). It was at that point that I found that the new replacement bulb was broken. Ho hum…

I phoned the aquatic shops to see if they had the right model of replacement bulb. In a perfect world they would make these filters with one-size-sits-all light bulbs, but they come in a range of shapes and sizes and wattages. No one at Bybrook Barn would answer the phone, but the nice people at Dobbies said they had a bulb that would fit.

I went to Dobbies. It’s never my first choice of places to go. They ain’t cheap, and there’s not one customer in a hundred in there looking where they are going, and the place has an amazingly laxative effect on the dogs. But I wasn’t taking the dogs. It was the only place with the bulb I wanted… and I could just shove the blundering customers out of the way.

Whilst I was at it I got a job lot of violas; six for a fiver in Bybrook Barn, in an amazing display of competitive pricing Dobbies were knocking them out as seven quid for nine. I never got round to using them today, but (in theory) I will use them tomorrow.

 

By then it was lunch time. I had a cold cross bun and a cuppa then cracked on in the garden again. I got that new bulb into the pressure filter, and whilst I was at it I replaced the input nozzle that had sprung a leak late last year. I ran out the pressure filter hose, and once it was connected I sparked it up; I didn’t want the muck that had over-wintered in the filter to go back into the pond. Instead that went onto the monkey-puzzle tree. It seems to like fish filter muck.

With the pond woken for the year I ran out the pressure-washer and had a blat at some of the old garden ornaments. They didn’t really clean up any good. Yesterday I said that they wouldn’t, didn’t I? The jug from the water feature didn’t come up too bad though… I shall paint it up and keep an eye out for something to replace it.

I sparked up the little pond; the cascade in that doesn’t really do much other than act as a reservoir for muck, so I removed it. I pruned the plants in both ponds, and made us both a cuppa and skibbits (as “Darcie WaaWaa ^TM” refers to biscuits) and then there was a knock on the door.

The sander I’d ordered from Amazon had arrived. I had been thinking of replacing the water feature and the planter I built last year, but that would be expense and effort. I had this stroke of genius (I have those from time to time) that I might sand them both down and give them a lick of paint and see if they might perk up.

I sprayed varnish onto the gnomes I’ve been painting. Hopefully this will have them last a tad longer than the last ones… Having said that, the last ones were painted for the first time on 17 June 2007 so if they do last longer they will probably see me out.

 

I got the sander out and read the instructions. The instructions had clearly been written in some obscure language and converted (not translated!) to English by Google translate. The instructions seemed to put an inordinate amount of importance on a nozzle which was “design to collect dust task”, but notwithstanding tasks (collect dust or otherwise) it managed to sand down that which I wanted sanding.

I shall see if anything has perked up after tomorrow’s painting. I was too tired to get the paint out today.

 

By that time I’d spent five hours working in the garden, and (in all honesty) it looked much the same as when I’d started. I voomed round with the watering can, then performed a test of canine memory.

Last year whenever I mentioned “I’m going to feed the fish” the dogs would fly to the pond in the hopes of getting some fish food. With the pumps in the pond running the fish were moving about, so I made my announcement. Despite it being five months or more since I last said it, the dogs flew to the pond.

They remembered.

And they still like fish food.

The fish had some too.

 

“er indoors ^TM”  boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching more “Throw Down”. We had a bottle of plonk too… and some port.