I slept well, for which
I was grateful. I came downstairs and said “Good
Morning!” to Fudge as he lay on the sofa. He looked up with one eye and
continued to doze. He didn’t budge when "er indoors TM" and Treacle came
down five minutes later. As time goes by he is becoming less and less a “morning” dog.
I sparked up my lap-top
and peered into the abyss of cyber-space. I saw a cousin and a colleague had a
birthday today. They share it with Nicola Bryant; arguably the best reason to have ever watched
“Doctor Who”. She could teach Jocelyn
and Demelza a thing or two about heaving bosoms!
Pretty much nothing was
kicking off on Facebook this morning so I had a look in my in-box. I had a few
frankly meaningless emails from LinkedIn. Have you ever read the drivel they
post out? Do people *really* lap up
this corporate bollox? Management-speak really is “the emperor’s new clothes” of our age.
I did have an email
from “Go Outdoors” but now they
aren’t on my way to work I very rarely go there any more.
And I had an email from
ViewRanger. About five years ago (when
things weren’t that good in my world) I signed up with ViewRanger. I
published a few walks
on their website. The idea was people would pay to download them,
and I would get rich. Five years later I have made an astounding fifty-seven
pence from the deal.
I got the leads onto
the hounds and we went for a little walk. We had a minor episode just up the
road. One of the normal people was doing some sort of building work and had set
up a cement mixer in the middle of the pavement and had comprehensively blocked
the way with bags of cement and sand and shingle. As I and a mother (with push chair) walked past (in the road) the chap was full of
profuse apologies, and he said he didn’t realise he would be in everyone’s way
and he had no idea how many people walk up and down the road on a regular
basis. I smiled sweetly; there’s not much else you can do with idiots of that
caliber.
We walked round the
park (mostly) without incident. We
met OrangeHead in the co-op field. We came home. Once home I got some boot
polish onto my boots; you know you are old when there is something strangely
satisfying about polishing boots.
I then played a little
“Bubble Witch Saga”, settled Treacle
and took Fudge to the vets.
Some dogs have problems
with their anal glands; some never do. Periodically Fudge starts worrying at
his bottom; sometimes biting the base of his tail bald. At these times he has a
very distinctive odour. It is all because his anal glands are full of gunge and
his poops aren’t solid enough to empty them. The cure is for the veterinary
nurse to shove a finger up his bum and empty them manually. Eeeeww!!!
We got to the vets; Fudge
tried to escape because he don’t like being there. We didn’t wait for long
before we were called in. Sometimes they “do”
him without me. Today I got to go in with the nurse and I got to hold Fudge. I
prefer that – it is more reassuring for him. He didn’t struggle *that* much, and it was soon all over.
All over the nurse that
is.
Her nice uniform was
obviously spattered with dog anal gland juice. Eeeeww!!! The nice nurse tried
to keep a straight face as she told me his glands were rather full. I tried not
to giggle as I said I could see that. Fortunately for all the nurse laughed it
off. I suppose getting spattered with dog anal gland juice is an occupational
hazard of shoving a finger up a dog’s bum.
We came home; I settled
both dogs and set off to work. As I drove west up the motorway past fifteen
miles of road works with not a single person actually doing anything I could
see gangs of workmen closing off the slow lane of the east-bound carriageway.
And after a rather busy day at work (and
another curry) I was faced with serious delays as miles of motorway had
only one lane open for no apparent reason.
What half-wit came up
with this idea? Why is there any work at all being done on the eastbound
carriageway where there is still clearly fifteen miles of work still in
progress on the westbound one? Surely it would make sense to concentrate the
effort on one job at a time rather than knackering both lanes and delaying me
both going to and from work?
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