6 November 2024 (Wednesday) - Got a Baby

I had a minor issue with my lap-top this morning. When I booted it up the screen was upside-down. I rebooted it to no avail. But as I tilted the screen so it went back to how it should be. What was that all about?

I eventually got my morning fix of Facebook. There was petty bickering on the local Facebook groups about how one should drive round the tank roundabout. There are a few places in Ashford where the local custom is to totally disregard the highway code, and that roundabout is one of them. This roundabout regularly features on local Facebook bickering. Everyone knows how to drive round it. Everyone is adamant that they are right and everyone else is wrong. And no two people ever agree on the matter.

And I signed an on-line petition. Apparently MPs are voting on allowing terminally ill people to have the right to end their suffering. The vote is in a few week time. You can send your MP a pre-written email on the matter by clicking here. There are those who will be against this sort of thing. I suspect those people have never watched their mother or father laying hopelessly in a hospital bed for weeks with vital body systems failing from terminal cancer or from irreparable brain damage from a massive stroke. The fruits of my loin have orders to pull my plug when (not if) I get like that.

This got me thinking… I had no idea that this vote was coming up. Apart from odd snippets in the news I have no idea what MPs are voting for. Democracy, eh? We elect someone or other to go run the country for five years… and for the most part we have no idea what they are doing. My MP has got a Facebook page. It’s a shame he describes himself on it as a “digital creator” but at least he or one of his staff updates the page regularly. Our local councilor doesn’t update hers.

And talking of democracy it seems that Donald Trump has done a Grover Cleveland. If there is anyone who thinks that is a good idea to have a system of selecting government in which the considered opinion of an educated person is of the same worth as that of a half-wit who believes the ramblings of an egotistical rich idiot, could they please explain why.

 

As we drove to the woods this morning the pundits on the radio were talking about Donald Trump’s victory. It would seem that across the world there’s celebrations from Russia, China, North Korea and anyone who might have meddled in the US election in order to put him in the White House. Everywhere else is caution and a sense of quietly expecting the worst.

The woods were quiet today. Not quiet as in not a lot of people about; quiet as in silent. There weren’t any sounds or noises at all. No birds singling, no trees rustling in the wind. It was rather eerie.

As we walked we saw deer again. And unlike yesterday Morgan saw them too. He shot off in hot pursuit, but after about ten seconds of being out of my view he came back again.

And then we had an “episode”.

All three dogs were playing a rough-and-tumble game of chase and attack. They play it together all the time. A passing dog thought he might join in, found the game was a tad too rough-and-tumble for his liking, and ran away in terror with my three hot on his heels. Fortunately the woman with the dog realized what had happened and didn’t have the arse with us.

 

We came home. I made a cuppa, then got on with gardening. I mowed the lawn… then stopped mowing and gathered up all the dog turds. Then started mowing again and found a load more dog turds. Eventually I got the lawn mowed, then I went round the front garden with the bionic burner. And then I cleaned out the pond filter on the little pond. And “er indoors ^TM” was right – there is a fourth fish in the little pond. I’ve done a little looking up on-line. Apparently comets can grow to be three inches long in their first year – I can only think we’ve had babies.

 

For some reason I was aching rather a lot, so I sat down and geo-puzzled. There are several (eight) geo-puzzles on the Romney Marsh in which you are told the distance and bearing that a geocache is from the point at which the photograph in the puzzle was taken. All you have to do is find exactly where the photograph was taken. I’ve been struggling with these puzzles for some time now, but Gordon was working on these this afternoon as well, and we spent a couple of hours messaging each other and between us we came up with the locations of five of them.

 

And then the nice double-glazing man came. The frame of our front window has been cracked for years and needs replacing. The nice man measured up and quoted us a price of about five hundred quid cheaper than I was expecting him to. His company has good reviews on Google and Checkatrade.

The surveyor comes next week.

5 November 2024 (Tuesday) - Deer, Gardening

Finding myself wide awake far too early for no reason I could fathom I got up, made toast, and once I’d watched an episode of “Everyone Else Burns” I had a little look at the Internet in case I’d missed anything overnight.

I hadn’t really.

There was talk about today’s American presidential election. As an outsider looking in, it strikes me that absolutely anything would be better than Donald Trump, but an American friend has told me that Kamala Harris isn’t as brilliant as she might be. She’s told me she feels she has to choose between a large turd in a bowl and a pool of diarrhea on the sidewalk (pavement).

I suppose that’s true of elections everywhere though.

I munzed, got Wordle on the fifth attempt, then went and woke the dogs to take them out.

 

As we drove to the woods so the pundits on the radio were also talking about the American election. Interestingly many people being interviewed claimed they were voting for the candidate with the Christian values, but both Mr. Trump and Ms. Harris were extolled as the second coming and reviled as the antichrist in equal measures.

We got to the woods on a very misty morning and saw there was only one other car in the car park. Sadly we found its occupants. As we walked a herd of deer ran across the path. I managed to get a photo of the last one, and as I put my phone away so the others came back to see where their mate had got to. And then I heard something. And so did the deer who all ran off.

There was a bellowed conversation going on and getting closer. After a minute or so a group of three women and six dogs hove into view. Walking side by side, for some inexplicable reason everything the women said to each other was shouted at maximum volume.

They went one way and we went another. But after a few minutes I could hear them again, so I changed our direction. But no matter which way I went I couldn’t get away from them. There they were, shrieking at each other. We all got back to the car park at about the same time, and they got into that other car that had been there when we arrived. Still bellowing at each other.

 

We came home. No one needed a bath, which was a result. I made us both a cuppa, then leaving “er indoors ^TM” working and the dogs snoring I drove down to Folkestone again. Yesterday I’d sorted “Daddies’ Little Angel ^TM”’s front garden. Today I sorted the back. I went round with a dustbin sack and gathered up the rubbish. Then went round with the strimmer, swept up, went round with the strimmer again and swept up again. So easy to type; not so easy to do. By the time my tip appointment came round I’d got three quarters of it done. So I took seven bin bags of garden rubbish to the tip, and as I was about to come home I had a thought. There was only about an hour’s worth of work left to do in that garden. Rather than coming down tomorrow I could finish the job this afternoon.

So I went back and got nearly but not quite everything done when the strimmer started making funny noises and shaking as though it was having a fit. The bit where the strimming line goes had snapped in half; the poor thing hadn’t survived the ordeal. It has to be said that you need to be made of stern stuff to visit the abode of the most recent fruit of my loin. But rather than strimming the last bit of patio I went at it with the blade of a shovel.

That’ll do for now.

 

I gathered up those garden tools which had stayed the course, and with a bit of shoving I managed to get the strimmed greenery into one rubbish bag. I brought the lot home together with the remains of the strimmer which is currently laying in state in the front garden. These days the etiquette is that if you’ve got something to give away you leave it in the front garden. Hopefully one of the unsuspecting normal people will take it off my hands.

Mind you we left the carcass of “er indoors ^TM” bike in the garden a while ago. Someone took it, and on realizing what a state it was in, they chucked it in the dentist’s garden.

 

I then did the “feed the fish” ritual in which fish food goes down the necks of pond fish and dogs in equal amounts. As I fed the fish in the small pond I was amazed. Earlier “er indoors ^TM” had told me there were four fish in that pond. Originally we put in five, but two disappeared months ago. One seems to have returned, but it is tiny. Do fish shrink?

I made another cuppa and had a look on-line. The strimmer that died today lasted three and a half years, and Amazon say they can have a new one with me by tomorrow.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good bit of dinner, and we started watching the current season of “Bake Off”. We’re a little late with it this year...

4 November 2024 (Monday) - Start of a Week Off

When I wasn’t listening to snoring last night I was fighting dogs for bed space. The last time I looked at the clock was at seven o’clock, and I was sleeping blissfully when “er indoors ^TM” alarm went off half an hour later.

 

I made toast and had a look at Facebook. An old friend from my days in the Boys Brigade was posting photos from Fiji. He works as a lawyer specializing in a very specific field and so commands huge fees. Like many people these days he can work anywhere he has an Internet connection. Based in Melbourne he doesn’t work from home; he works from a succession of hotels, and this morning he was working (and posting to Facebook) from Fiji. I’m a tad jealous of the chap as he is obviously wealthy and can afford to travel. But I do wonder if he is lonely. There is rarely (if ever) anyone photographed with him or tagged in his photos. And travelling round like he does he can’t see anyone for any length of time. Mind you I saw him in the flesh a few years ago and he seemed happy enough.

 

I took the dogs up to the woods for a walk. We did our usual circuit and once we were away from the car park we walked for miles and didn’t see anyone. The dogs chased squirrels, it wasn’t that muddy at all… but (as always) Bailey found fox poo and rolled in it. The foul creature.

We came home for a wash.

“er indoors ^TM” had seen something whilst we were out. Did I want to change my car’s number plate?  Back in the day my old Espace had the number plate K17E MB. That cost me two hundred and fifty quid. For only eight hundred and fifty quid I could have BO07 DOG. One of the companies was offering a fifty per cent off deal. But when you looked closely that was fifty per cent off of their admin cost. A saving of twenty quid; not the four hundred quid that you might think. I found the same registration on another website slightly cheaper. I sent them an email asking if we might haggle.

And then I had a stroke of genius and went on the government’s website (which is where number plates come from!) only to find it was two hundred quid more expensive.

 

I then drove down to Folkestone. Whilst “Daddies’ Little Angel ^TM” and Darcie WaaWaa ^TM” have been on their little sojourn in Enfield, the garden of their flat in Folkestone has run riot. Gardens do that. I went down with a car full of garden tools and had a go at her front yard. I gathered up the rubbish, and found an Amazon parcel underneath it all. I then started off pulling weeds. After an hour I realized it was taking an age so as an experiment I had a little go with the strimmer. In retrospect I should have started off with the strimmer. Mind you it made a mess, so I popped inside and got “Daddies’ Little Angel ^TM”’s broom. Sadly it fell into four bits on the fifth stroke. I managed to sweep up using the biggest fragment, then had a look at her back yard. There were some rather tall weeds there, so I pulled them. By the time I’d pulled them and bagged them I’d had enough. I loaded six bags of rubbish and a poggered microwave into my car. As I’d worked I’d found a poggered microwave (as you do).

I drove all the rubbish to the tip… While I wasn’t paying attention the tip at Folkestone has been moved. It used to be up near Hawkinge. Now it’s at Shornecliffe. Only about five miles away, but once I’d driven five miles to the wrong place, and then driven to the right place I was rather miffed to find that Folkestone’s tip also operates an appointment system. However I didn’t see the notice until I’d got into the tip and I had to drive through anyway. So I drove in, and on the way to beg the nice man to allow me to empty my rubbish I bunged quite a bit of it into the skip on my way past.

I gave the nice man a load of flannel, and he was very good about it.

 

“er indoors ^TM” sorted sausages and chips then went bowling for the evening. I sat on the sofa and watched a film. The latest re-make of “All Quiet on the Western Front” wasn’t as good as the previous versions of the film, or the original book. Sadly this re-make was rather crap and abandoned any attempt at plot or storyline in favour of things exploding. I watched the film two years ago and wasn’t impressed then either.

3 November 2024 (Sunday) - Early Shift

I had an alarm set, and so didn't sleep very well. It didn't help that every time I moved about “er indoors ^TM” told Morgan off. Poor pup.

I gave up trying to sleep, got up and made toast which I scoffed whilst watching an episode of "Everyone Else Burns". In today's episode our hero had to fend off the amorous advances of a fellow congregant.  Shortly after we moved away from Hastings I heard that an old friend from our old church had a similar issue with the (female) organist wanting to get lesbidacious with his wife. Personally I would see that as a result, but things are different when you are a religious nut.

 

I had a quick look at the Internet. It would seem a nephew has got a new girlfriend. It must be difficult being young these days. Pretty much everyone that nephews and nieces hook up with seem to come with children from previous relationships.

As I watched telly and Facebook-stalked a prospective niece-in-law I could hear strange noises coming from next door. Last week I mentioned how she gets up really early every day. Quite often she makes strange noises before six o’clock - a sort of series of grunting-coughing sounds. Perhaps she does some sort of exercise?

 

I drove to work listening to what I can only describe as utter drivel on the radio. It was so bad I found myself listening in disbelief that something so dire warranted being played on national radio. There was some idiot waxing loquacious about how wonderful clear food packaging is because you can see what you are getting, and was trying to make out that tins were a complete rip-off as anything might be inside a tin and you would never know until you bought it and opened it.

This was followed by an interview with a farmer in the deep south of America who was talking about how the seasons are very different to how he remembered them as a child. He said that he used to go fishing for crayfish in the local swamps when he was a lad; these days no one dares go near because of the alligators. He got very aggressive when anyone suggested this might be global warming in action.

 

Just as I got to work “er indoors ^TM” sent a message. Bailey had blown. Twice. Yesterday someone had posted on the Dog Club Facebook page saying their pup had been ill when they got home, and someone else had posted that there was a bug going round giving dogs iffy guts. My lot have iffy enough guts already without bugs helping them along. Last night Morgan was rather squitty, this morning Bailey was throwing up; perhaps they have got a bug.

 

I did my bit at work. Last Sunday was a rather bright day and I sulked because I had to work. Today was rather overcast; I don't mind working on days like that. Even if I was far busier than I expected to be. I blame all these ill people.

But an early start made for an early finish. Over the summer we could take the dogs out after an early shift; this time of year I barely get home before the light starts fading.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good bit of scran. Spicy pork chops, cauliflower cheese, and a large lump of trifle. Oh yus!!  As we scoffed it we watched this evening’s episode of “Lego Masters: Australia”. I’d love to have a go at the amount of Lego the contestants get to play with.

2 November 2024 (Saturday) - Dog Club and Egerton

As I peered into Facebook this morning I learned something. There’s a nuclear bunker nearby. About twenty miles away in Brede there’s a nuclear bunker at the waterworks. The place has open days on the first Saturday of each month, so I’ve missed that for now. But it could be good for a day out some time.

I’ve walked past Brede waterworks many times, and commented on the place. If you look closely you’ll see dodos. Yes – dodos. The supposedly extinct birds. There’s loads of them there (you don’t have to look that closely). They aren’t geese and they aren’t ducks or swans. The only thing they resemble is a stuffed dodo I once saw at the Natural History museum.

And I saw my brother was on the coach from Brighton to Liverpool to watch the football. He must love it.

 

I put some washing in to scrub and we set off to Dog Club where we had a rather good session. Last week the dogs were all rather excited; this week they were all a bit quieter. We had at least twelve dogs along today – it is difficult to keep count as they all keep moving about. Morgan managed the entire session without having his muzzle on. Bailey rolled in something foul. Treacle had a ball and was happy. And the forecast rain held off too.

As we’d driven to Dog Club Steve had been on the radio doing the “Guess the Lyrics” competition. I got it right - “Blondie” with “Picture This”. As we drove away I got the Mystery Year competition too. “Ghostbusters” was in 1984. As was Tommy Cooper’s death. I can distinctly remember talking about Tommy Cooper’s death when I was working at the Royal East Sussex Hospital. Everyone else was saying that they’d seen it happen on the live TV show “Live from Her Majesty’s”, and all I could think was who would be sad enough to watch “Live from Her Majesty’s”.

 

Rather than coming home we took the dogs for a bit of a walk. What with me working tomorrow I wanted to do something with today, and if we came straight home after Dog Club we’d never go out again after, so we drove out to Egerton. There’s a series of geocaches from Hothfield to Egerton; a line of twenty-two of the things. Periodically we’ve been out and walked a few, then come back to the car. There were seven left that we hadn’t done. Parking in Egerton the furthest of them was just under a mile away as the crow flies, so that made for a rather good little walk. It was a tad muddy in places, and getting at some of the caches was a bit tricky as the brambles had grown rather impressively, but we found five of the seven we were after, and had a good walk too.

I took a few photos as we walked.

 

We came home for a wash. Some of us needed washing more than others. As “er indoors ^TM” and the dogs snored I carried on trying to solve geo-puzzles. If any of my loyal readers know of an app for locating fire hydrants or telegraph poles…

As I puzzled I had a message. One of the pups from Dog Club has got sickness and dire rear. Had anyone fed her anything? It has to be said that Dog Club can sometimes be one big feast. She might have had one of the tiny treats that I give out? Dogs is odd – the slightest thing can set them off being ill, but then they can have a good feast of fox poo and be fine (other than rancid farting).

 

And then I fell asleep…

1 November 2024 (Friday) - Nice Little Earner

I woke to the sound of a thud as Treacle jumped off the bed at four o'clock. Less than five seconds later she was whimpering and crying because she wanted help to get back on to the bed. Once back on the bed she made herself comfortable.

I gave up trying to sleep and got up.

 

Being the first of the month I got out a new razor blade. I'm mean - I make them last for a month. As I made toast I saw the lights were on next door. Not-so-nice-next-door seems to be up and about very early in the mornings, and now it is darker in the evenings I've noticed all the downstairs lights off and the bedroom light on at half past eight in the evening. I must admit that given the choice I'd got to bed early and get up early. If I could I'd set off for the dog walks in the dark and get to the woods for dawn. I doubt I'd be given the choice though.

 

I scoffed my toast watching another episode of "Everyone Else Burns". In today's episode the crackpot preacher was arranging marriages for his flock. Back in my religious days no one ever went quite that far, but we were certainly told what was and was not suitable pre-marital behaviour. Although I was beginning to turn to the dark side when it happened, the vicar did come round and tell us off when he heard that we were "living in sin" in Folkestone.

I had a little look at the Internet - last night was Hallowe'en. I completely forgot about that. It seemed from the local Facebook pages that nowadays you don't have kiddies banging on people's doors demanding sweeties any more. These days the etiquette seems to be that you put a huge bowl of sweeties where you can see in with your doorbell camera and leave it for the kiddies to help themselves. You record what happens, and then you judge children on how much they take. And post photos of the greediest ones to social media.

That caused one or two squabbles.

 

I got dressed and woke “er indoors ^TM” who needed to move her car. What with the idiot decisions of the local highways people there were a few dozen less parking spaces locally last night, so the “er indoors ^TM”-mobile spent the night on double yellow lines. She moved her car into the space I left before she got a ticket and before anyone else had that space. You might think that moving a car before six o'clock a tad keen, but I've seen traffic wardens out and about at half past midnight before.

 

Pausing only briefly to get petrol I was soon off up a dark motorway. But at least it wasn't raining today. As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about David Goldstone. Having been involved with Transport for London, the UK Olympics and HS2, the chap is now heading up the government's Value for Money office. Only having to work for one day a week and being paid at nine hundred and fifty quid a day, he's laughing all the way to the bank. How do you get tickets for that gravy train?

 

And there was talk about ex-Harrods boss Mohamed Al Fayed. Apparently the Metropolitan Police were told of allegations of sexual assault done by this bloke a decade earlier than the Met would have us believe.

But it's all largely irrelevant as (yet again) the chap has been dead a year. What are the Met going to do? Stick his corpse in the dock?

 

Work was much the same as ever. I did my bit, and then came home to find the builder having a look at the bathroom. “er indoors ^TM” wants to get the bathroom done. Presumably not in the same way that the dogs have been “done” but what do I know? I suppose a nice new bathroom might be nice.

 

There’s rumours of cracking open a bottle of plonk shortly…

31 October 2024 (Thursday) - Not At Work

Back in the day I used to work nine to five every Monday to Friday. The night and weekend shifts I did were overtime. I would regularly work seventy hours in a week, and there was one spell where I worked every weekend for six months.

Yesterday I came home knackered having worked two consecutive days and feeling that I needed a rest.

 

As I emptied the dishwasher this morning I found a pit of it had dropped off. Some rubber thingy. I emptied the dishwasher and left the thingy on the side in the hopes that “er indoors ^TM” might fix it.

I set the washing machine going and as I scoffed toast I peered into the Internet which told me that an old friend was having a birthday today. We went to school together where he once put a drawing pin on another child’s seat and I got the blame. Every Wednesday night we’d meet at the chip shop and lip the nice lady behind the counter (one night she set the chip shop dog on him). We’d go underage drinking regularly and his singing his home-made ballads got us thrown out of quite a few pubs. When aged fourteen we once found one of those inflatable sex dolls and he cycled round Hastings for a fortnight with the thing strapped to his bike’s rack. And we went to Boys Brigade and the associated church services together as well.

He’s sixty-one today. Where have the years gone?

 

I got the dogs into the car and we set off to the woods listening to the pundits on the radio as we went. They were talking about yesterday’s budget in which the Chancellor of the Exchequer has been incredibly clever. She’s kept the election pledges of not putting up taxes on working people. However she’s putting up all sorts of taxes on businesses. So the businesses have to find this money by either cutting their costs, cutting staff wages and putting up their prices. And with no wage increases and higher prices we will have just as much money in our pockets as we would have had if income tax and VAT had gone up.

But in putting up the taxes that she has, the Chancellor of the Exchequer has made businesses appear to be the villains of the piece and not the government.

Sneaky, eh?

 

We got to the woods and had a rather good walk. The forecast had been for a misty morning and I’d hoped to see deer. The mist had all but gone by the time we got there. We didn’t see any deer, but we did hear a crashing in the trees that might have been them. Mind you there were a load of squirrels about today. And an incredibly fat jogger. Even fatter than me. He was gasping for air but attempted a cheery wave as he came past.

 

We came home where I got the lawn mower out and gave the lawn a haircut, then tidied away the last of the soil I’d dug out for the new bog filter. As I worked I could hear our frog croaking, but couldn’t see him anywhere.

And then I cracked on with the ironing as I watched a couple of films. I.D. is an old favourite of mine but the sequel I.D.2 was a tad lame.

I made a cuppa, did some CPD and woke up a few hours later.

 

Oh – and “er indoors ^TM” has fixed the dishwasher…