21 March 2020 (Saturday) - Barham

I stood on the scales this morning. I didn’t lose any weight this week. Mind you I didn’t put anything on, so it wasn’t all bad.
I scoffed a bowl of granola, then had a look at the Internet as I do. Not much had happened really; coronageddon had prompted one or two jokey memes, each of which had been reposted a dozen times.
I checked my emails and saw I had yet another spamming email ostensibly from the chap who took over running Teston kite festival. This chap’s email account gets hacked at least once every week; you’d think he’d do something about it… but looking back at what was effectively the demise of one of the best events in the social calendar I’m not surprised he hasn’t really.
The numero uno honcho at Sainsburys had emailed me to tell me that they were changing their opening hours and will only be open from eight in the morning till eight in the evening during the crisis. That’s something of a pain the glass for me (as "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction TM" would say). I wonder if they really are doing this because of staff shortages, or if coronageddon will be used by the supermarkets as a means to get away from being constantly open? Do they really make that much money being open at four o’clock in the morning?

I sent out some birthday wishes to friends (the ones whose birthday was today obviously!) then got ready for the off. There are those who feel that the current nationwide directive to “self-isolate” means to stay at home. We can effectively avoid the masses by going for a walk in the countryside.

We drove out to Barham where the local shop had bread (can you believe it?). We were soon joined by Karl, Tracey and all of the girls. They had been to the farm shop up the road and had got us some mince (that stuff is like gold dust!) and some turnips for the dogs (all vegetables are in short supply).
We then had a rather good walk around the area following well-marked paths and some rather quiet lanes. Barham is rather beautiful; we’d been there before. As we walked today we met sheep who were probably in the wrong field, we saw buzzards flying in the sky, we played in the fords. The water in the fords was flowing at a very impressive rate. There was a rather dodgy hole we had to avoid at one point where a tree had collapsed; Fudge nearly fell down it.

As is usually the case our route was guided by a series of geocaches. A rather excellent series. It was a shame that the people who’d walked the series yesterday didn’t quite understand how to put the paper logs back inside the plastic pots properly, but we sorted it all out.
Usually we’d end our walk with a pint in the pub, but the Prime Minster has asked all the nation’s pubs to close because of coronageddon, so we took some beer with us, and had a couple of crafty pints whilst out. One as we walked, and one with a snack.
And I took a few photos as well…

We said our goodbyes; as we drove home we listened to Steve broadcasting on the radio. You can’t beat a bit of the electric light orchestra on the way home.
Once home we unpacked, and it wasn’t long before the dogs were all snoring. "er indoors TM" set off to visit "Daddy’s Little Angel TM" and "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction TM". I went out to the garden and harvested so much dog dung that I blocked the chodbin. It was nothing that a few buckets of water and some frantic chivvying with a trowel couldn’t shift, but next time I won’t put quite so much dog dung down the loo in one go.
Feeling rather peckish I got myself some KFC. Walking to the KFC was odd. Our road is the main thoroughfare from central Ashford to the southern parts of the town. There are always people walking up and down it at all times of day and night. At four o’clock this afternoon there was no one. No one at all.
I got my KFC and scoffed it whilst watching “The Adventures of a Plumber in Outer Space” which was one of the funniest things I’ve seen on telly for years. It was a cheesy, low budget, frankly crappy film, but if you were brought up on “The Benny Hill Show” (like I was), you’ll love it.

With the dogs fed I then spent the evening ironing shirts whilst watching a film. “Ender’s Game” is rather good, but (like most films) it would be better if it was half an hour shorter.

The washing machine has just finished its third load, and it is refusing to open its door… this could be entertaining…

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