Finding
myself wide awake and in some discomfort,
I got up at three o’clock and went to the loo (tripping over Fudge as I went). The loo didn’t help, and being wide
awake I watched an episode of “Orange is
the New Black”. Just as the episode was ending I did the world’s biggest
fart, and then went back to bed where I *would*
have slept like a log had Treacle not thought it was play time.
Eventually
she settled.
I
got up just after eight o’clock and stood on the scales. No weight loss this
week, but no weight gain either. I then had a look at the Internet. Facebook
was much the same as ever with lies and triviality being bandied about in equal
measure. I quite like the triviality, it’s the lies that boil my piss.
I
spent a few minutes fighting with a geo-puzzle; eventually giving up and
emailing the chap who’d set the puzzle. It turns out I had the right answer all
along but the software wasn’t doing what it was supposed to do. Software rarely
does.
I
spent a few minutes doing dull BTLP-TACT (work
stuff) in which I simulated an emergency, and then learned how to filter my
GSAK. Filtering GSAK is something that most people learned years ago, but I’m
still getting the hang of it.
"Daddy’s
Little Angel TM" arrived and made off with a set of
spanners, leaving "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction TM"
in her wake. He’d been looking forward to a weekend with us (apparently).
We
started off with walking the dogs round the park. "Stormageddon -
Bringer of Destruction TM" came along on his scooter. You’d
think some form of propulsion like that might have speeded him up, wouldn’t
you? He probably could have gone slower if he’d really tried, but even Fudge
was getting impatient with him.
As
we walked we found some child’s party in full flow in the middle of the park.
They had gazebos up, which is a big no-no
with the council, and some of the children coming to the party were being
driven directly to the party with cars driving down through the paths on which
cars are expressly forbidden.
Eventually we got out
of the park, through the co-op field and past the allotments where some people
were growing “sensibles”. We eventually
got home, but it took some doing. Once home we had a cheese sandwich each and I
fell asleep waiting for "Stormageddon
- Bringer of Destruction TM" and "er indoors TM"
to do whatever it was that they were doing.
Eventually we got out
of the house.
We went to the co-op so’s
I could use their cashpoint machine (and
again the machine didn’t give me a receipt), and we then drove down to Burmarsh
to Mini Moo’s Maize
Maze and Fun Yard. We had a Groupon voucher for Mini Moo’s Maize Maze and
Fun Yard and thought we’d have a go.
I don’t want to be
negative about the place, but when we arrived it looked closed. There is a
rather tired-looking play area with the sort of play equipment that you would
have in your own back garden; none of it seems to be particularly heavy-duty.
There are a few bales
of hay which for a sort of “water pistol
arena” around which the children can charge whilst squirting the water
pistols supplied by the place. The water pistols are filled from rather grubby-looking
dustbins of water most of which were empty or swimming with hay. The biggest problem
with the “water pistol arena” is that
it isn’t cordoned off; anyone passing to and from the maize maze seems to be
fair game for a good soaking.
We got to the maize
maze. There were boards to find inside the maze; after half an hour we realized
what the code on the boards was; if you are a super-genius you can work out how
to get round the maze. We just blundered.
We had a little episode
in the maze; in the middle was a platform the floor of which really could do
with being nailed down. Stepping on one end of a plank of wood and having the
other end fly up was rather disconcerting; even more so when it happened with
several planks.
Having been rather disparaging about the place, I
think it is only fair to say that "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction TM"
seemed to like it. He certainly lasted far longer there than he did at the zoo.
I’d go back. Given a few years to find its feet, Mini
Moo’s Maize Maze and Fun Yard may well achieve greatness.
We wondered what most
recent grandchild would make of geocaching so we went to find a couple on the
way home. He seemed quite taken with the idea.
We came home via Tesco;
did you know they give free fruit to the littluns as they walk round? I didn’t.
S.B.O.D. scoffed an apple as we
shopped.
Once home I quickly
excused myself and drove out to Warehorne to collect my eBay win. I had to go
to “The Leacon, Warehorne”. Have you
ever been to Warehorne? I think it fair to say that two-thirds of the
twenty-odd houses there have “Leacon”
in their address. Leacon House, Leacon
Manor, Leacon Cottage, Leacon Farm, Leacon Farm Cottage, Leacon View… I
eventually found the place, but it took some finding.
I came home to find
that "Stormageddon
- Bringer of Destruction TM" had strewn Lego everywhere and
"er indoors TM" was pulling Lego out of Treacle’s
mouth almost as fast as Treacle was eating it.
Having been in the maize maze earlier it seemed only right
that we had corn on the cob for tea, and fish fingers and chips for afters.
As I’m writing this blog entry our little guest is
currently destroying some of "er indoors TM" candles
whilst Treacle is eating the yogurt he’s left on the table.
He’s having a bath shortly… or so I’m told. I’m not getting
involved!
It has been a rather
full-on day today – there’s a
few photos on-line; you tend to forget just how much hard work toddlers can
be.
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