21 January 2019 (Monday) - Week Off Day 1

There was an eclipse of the moon last night. Over brekkie I saw that several friends had got up early to take photos of it with varying degrees of success. Some had managed half-decent shots, some gave up because of cloud cover. I think the best photos were taken by my cousin who gave up with the moon and photographed a fox ripping up her neighbour’s bin bags.
As I looked at the Internet Fudge snuggled quietly on my left-hand side. After a few minutes Treacle jumped up of to my right-hand side and started to fight with me. This seems to fast be becoming a morning routine. She starts by hoovering up toast crumbs, then when she thinks she’s lulled me into a false sense of security she mounts a sneak attack. Eventually she conceded defeat and climbed onto the back of the sofa from where she snored directly into my right ear.

I suggested to the dogs that we might go for a walk. Whoever says that dogs don’t understand English is clearly wrong. They wanted to go out. We soon got coats and leads and set off. We had a minor incident in Bowen’s Field where some idiot tried to direct where we were going. He insisted we headed off towards the park. I said we might go that way, we might not. He said that if we walked away from the park we might get within a hundred yards of his dog. I asked if he was still in possession of a dangerous animal, and he quickly bumbled away. I’ve met this idiot before; he has this theory that according to British law only one person is allowed to walk their dogs in Bowens Field at a time. On a previous encounter he tried to say that he had to have sole use of the area because his dog was dangerous, to which I offered to contact the dog wardens on his behalf. He didn’t like that.
Other than that, the walk passed off without incident. It was a glorious morning for a walk. The sun was low and the sunlight glistened on the frosty grass, The co-op field wasn’t the usual swamp; the frozen mud made for very firm underfoot.
As we came home I found myself sniggering. Today (and winter in general) would probably warrant an entry in  Oolon Colluphid’s best-selling book “Where God Went Wrong”. Such a beautiful time of year; such a shame it is *so* cold.

I settled the dogs and drove up to Bluewater. The journey there was rather uneventful. On arrival I looked at the geo-map; yesterday evening I’d got some solutions to geo-puzzles in the area. But on getting out of the car I realised it was just too cold to be messing about.
I went into the shopping centre and was soon in the Lego shop. I spent far too long looking at stuff I don’t really need, but eventually picked up a few base plates and a pint of small bricks and flowers.

Once home again I popped up to the shop for a sandwich. There was a minor ruckus kicking off at the till where a “delightful young lady” was getting rather angry because the corner shop doesn’t sell cabbages.
As I walked back down the road I chuckled at passing cyclist; busy fiddling with his phone he was wobbling all over the road which was seriously boiling the piss of those in cars.

I scoffed my sandwich whilst watching an episode of “Prison Break” then loaded the washing machine up with undercrackers. Whilst the washing machine chewed my smalls I spent an hour sorting out my Lego. Having bought a couple of job lots I thought it might be a plan to sort the stuff to find out just what I’ve got. I do need a few more Tupperware containers for the stuff; I might get those tomorrow.
Whilst I sorted Lego my phone beeped. I’d had a friend request from “Anita Wright” who sports a rather impressive chest, and who wanted to know if I would like to “do the dirty deed” with her. Just so that there was no misunderstanding of exactly what “doing the dirty deed” entailed, her Facebook profile had some rather graphic (and rather unhygienic) videos of what she had in mind. I reported her to the Facebook feds for posting inappropriate things; let’s be honest, if a video of someone taking a pork sword up the dung funnel is not inappropriate, what on Earth is? (Please don’t answer!)

With dinner scoffed and "er indoors TM" off bowling I watched a film on Netflix. Io was a complete load of rubbish. Ninety minutes of my life wasted. Such a shame…

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