28 September 2018 (Friday) - Another Late Shift

Last night as I left work last night my phone beeped. I had a friend request on Facebook from someone claiming to be “Maria Tensriana” from Lewisham. Bearing in mind that “Maria” looked suspiciously like an effeminate young lad in a skimpy bikini I thought it best not to get involved and I ignored the request. As I had my morning rummage round the Internet this morning I saw that “Maria” had sent me a link to a web site featuring quite a few nudey ladies of presumably dubious morality. Bearing in mind that “Maria”’s Facebook page was featuring a close-up picture of some woman’s clopper and some people doing something rather unhygienic I reported “Maria” to the Facebook feds for “a breach of their community standards” and for “posting inappropriate things”. Mind you I’ve reported breaches of their community standards to Facebook before and they’ve not shown much interest. I don’t think they’ve set the bar very high for morality. However I’m hoping they will take a firm moral stance with “Maria”; if a publicly posted photo of a pork sword up the brown-eye isn’t “inappropriate”, I’d like to know what is. (Actually… on reflection – I wouldn’t!)

I didn’t have any of that almond butter for brekkie today. "er indoors TM" did; she says it smells of old socks. If any of my loyal readers would like a tub of almond butter…

I took the dogs out for their morning constitutional. Before we’d even got to the park Fudge had picked fights with a huge Rottweiler and a bus. Treacle had had a snarl at a sparrow and a motorized wheelchair. Once we got to the park Fudge trailed about fifty to a hundred yards behind and I tripped over Treacle. Twice. We had a dodgy five minutes when Fudge ran into the fun-fair which is currently set up on Viccie park’s main green and piddled up one of the caravans, but fortunately no one saw him. I worry about Fudge going near the caravans of the fun fair folk. Perhaps I’m prejudiced, but I’ve seen the film “Snatch.

I set off for Charing. "er indoors TM" has a couple of geocaches there which needed a little attention. It was more on my way to work than yesterday's maintenance had been, but I'm not complaining. A little mission before the late shift is always good. I found the troublesome sandwich boxes and made them good. Not an arduous task (if making sandwich boxes good is your forte), and then I went hunting out some other geocaches. My first target boiled my piss somewhat. The whole idea of the geocaching lark is that the GPS takes you to the thing. You might obscure the location with a puzzle, but even so, you end up with a set of GPS co-ordinates which tell you the location of what you are looking for. The idea *isn't* that you get to within half a mile of the thing and then blunder about randomly rooting under hedges. Mind you, watching the way I do it you might be forgiven for making that mistake... anyway...
Today's first geocache had a clear description about a small tree. The GPS co-ordinates took you exactly to that tree. But there was nothing there. Bearing in mind the thing was described as "large" it wasn't as though it had been cleverly hidden. I looked at what other finders had said and widened my search. For all that the GPS is good, any given location is never more accurate than to within a few yards. An accuracy of four yards is realistic. Having said that, co-ordinates which were ten yards out would be frowned upon by those who brandish sat-navs. I eventually found the cache I was looking for. It was *huge*; one of the biggest I've ever seen. A cube, about two feet along each side. It was a shame it was about fifty yards from the posted location, but you can't have everything.
I can't help but feel that had the people who'd hidden it found more than three caches themselves (yes - three!) they'd have more idea what they were doing.
I blame the geo-feds for letting such inexperienced people loose with film pots and sandwich boxes.

My next target was along some rough country tracks; I gave up and sought out an easier quarry. Those farm tracks will be a good walk for another morning before another late shift. I then headed off to work. I stopped off at McDonalds. Last year I went there all the time; I can't remember my last visit to Aylesford McDonalds. For all that dinner was only seventy per cent of the cost of dinner in the works canteen, I couldn't recommend what I had today. The fiery buffalo chicken wrap wasn't enjoyable; it made my eyes water, my nose run, and my mouth burn. And (like an idiot) I forgot to tell them no salt on the chips and so was thirsty for the rest of the day.

I got to work and did my bit. It wasn't a bad late shift; it went marginally better than yesterday's had gone. But I was glad to get home. My silly dogs were sitting by the front door waiting for me.
I see “Maria”’s Facebook page is still there, pork swords, brown eyes and all. So much for my neo-puritanical stance…

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