22 March 2019 (Friday) - Gone Fishing


Yesterday I put out a series of geocaches. They all went live at half past seven in the evening, and (despite my written instructions) had all been found by midnight. On the one hand I’m glad they were all found. On the other hand you can sometimes tell when people have been caching at night as the things aren’t always hidden as well afterwards as they are hidden when you’ve got daylight to help you see what you are doing.
Hopefully someone will go out tomorrow and put the things away if there are any issues.

Over a bowl of granola I watched another episode of “Love Death and Robots”, then got myself organised. I drove round to collect "My Boy TM" and then we drove to McDonalds for McBrekkie. You can’t beat a sausage and egg McMuffin. It was a shame the McAssistant mumbled so much though.
Suitably replete we popped to Tesco for dog biscuits (bait), and then on to Hartley Lands fishery. We were on the lake side by half past seven.

I tried out my “scopex squid wafters”; realistically that was seven quid down the drain.
As we fished we could see large carp on the surface of the pond. All the books and all our experience says that on a cold March day the fish should be at the bottom of the lake, They weren’t. They weren’t last time we fished there either. That’s why we got the dog biscuits. With the fish on the surface of the water we needed a bait that floats. Or, more precisely, we needed something that floats to attract the fish. We had “pop-ups” as bait – they float. The idea of the dog biscuit is that you put a pop-up on a hook and cast it out. You then chuck out dog biscuit around the pop-ups to attract the fish, and they scoff the lot – dog biscuit, pop-up and all.
Fish aren’t stupid though. They scoffed all the dog biscuits and left the pop-ups.
This was when I had my idea. I would put a dog biscuit on a hook. Because the dog biscuits are rock-hard I thought I might bore a hole in one with my baiting needle….

For the non-piscatorial of my loyal readers a baiting needle is an incredibly sharp barbed metal spike which you use to poke holes in solid baits. Hence the name. It is incredibly sharp, and is slightly larger than the javelins that athletes throw around in the Olympic games (or so I maintain!). As I tried to bore a hole in a dog biscuit I slipped and rammed the thing an inch into my finger. “Alas” I said. “How unfortunate. Aren’t I a silly goose?” or words to that effect. Looking back I think that most of the words I said began with the letter “f” and rhymed with “cluck”. The baiting needle was wedged deep in my hand, and the barbed end prevented me from getting it out. We tried minor surgery, but none of our knives were sharp enough to cut flesh. Ironically the baiting needle was, but that was embedded in my paw.
By the time the first fruit of my loin had finished laughing we realised that we had a choice. (I say ”we” – it was down to me, really). I *could* go up the local hospital to have the thing removed, but that would involve trusting "My Boy TM" with the key to my car. And having left the pass card to the hospital’s staff car park at home, I wasn’t going to pay for parking in the visitor’s area. So I grabbed the baiting needle and gave it a good yank. It *really* hurt but stayed put. So I took a deep breath, and as my eldest shouted “DAD – DON’T DO IT…” I gave it an incredibly strong yank whilst twisting the thing.
There wasn’t *that* much blood really. And the baiting needle survived. Eventually my finger stopped bleeding.
We had a rather good time (despite the blood). You can see photos of the day here. I would like to have stayed longer, but I was *so* cold. Possibly blood loss, or possibly I need to get some long johns.

I came home to find Treacle in the front window watching the world go by. I went up to the window and stared at her to provoke a reaction. She didn’t bat an eyelid. Once I’d got my fishing gear away I spent a little while preparing my next geo-project until "er indoors TM" came home with "Stormageddon - Bringer of Destruction TM". S.B.O.D. and I played Lego for a while until it was bed time.
I wonder what mayhem he will wreak tomorrow…

My finger still hurts.

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