"er indoors TM" had quite a bit
of space on the bed last night. I didn’t. Is it so much to ask that dogs sleep
parallel to me (so we all have space) rather than perpendicular to me (so
that I do not)?
I got up later than I would usually get
up (but earlier than I had planned), set the washing machine going, and
peered into the Internet as I scoffed toast.
The first fruit of my loin has changed
his Facebook cover photo to a photo of him and a waxworks dummy of the Prime
Minister Boris Johnson. Yesterday a good friend of mine posted good wishes for
Mr Johnson (whilst he is unwell) and said that anyone who disagreed with
him could crawl back under their rock. The Prime Minister is clearly loved…
I must admit that when he came to office
I had very low expectations of Boris Johnson… look at his track record. We all
expect politicians to lie, but he surely takes the biscuit. He has been sacked
from three jobs for telling lies. The Brexit campaign he led has been shown to
be based on a pack of lies. And since he took office… Don’t take my word for
it. Type the phrase “list of Boris Johnson’s lies” into Google, then use
Snopes or any other fact-checking website to trawl through what you find.
He finalised his divorce less than two
weeks before announcing that his girlfriend was pregnant. Call me old-fashioned
but am I the only person who feels that it is questionable (at best)
that the Prime Minister’s girlfriend is only six years older than his oldest
child?
But still the public love him. And I
must admit to a sneaking admiration of him despite the damage he and his
government are doing to so many aspects of our national life. History will
probably record him as one of the nation’s better Prime Ministers. Boris
Johnson is an amazing figure; he puts on a show for the masses, and the masses
lap it up. I can’t help but liken him to Zaphod Beeblebrox who was the Galactic
President in “The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”; a role that
involves no power whatsoever, and merely requires the incumbent to draw
attention away from those really wielding the power.
I also had an email which made me think
“what if”. Five years ago I had the opportunity for a secondment to the
medical laboratory in the South Atlantic island
of St Helena.
I turned it down, but this morning I had an email from the Foreign and
Commonwealth Office asking if I would like to go out to St Helena for three to
six months (all expenses paid) to assist with the COVID-19 preparation
and response in St Helena.
The simple answer was “Yes!” I *would*
like to go out to St Helena. But how practical would it be? Having given the
matter some serious thought in 2015 it was a pipe-dream at best then. Now with
a global pandemic kicking off is no time to relocate to a rock in the South
Atlantic miles from anywhere.
I told Facebook about today’s choice of
album, popped the leads on to the dogs and we walked into town. Last year I was
awarded five geocaching Adventure Lab caches. The idea is that you go to a
location, answer a simple question and move on. I found five rather obscure
places in Ashford and set it all up. Since then those who like to spoil the
game blagged the answers and published them on a spoilers page together with
instructions on how to trick your GPS into thinking you are half a world away.
Today I took the dogs to the five
locations and worked out new questions that can’t be blagged from Google Street
View.
We came home via the park where I had
something of a shock. A young lady was doing her exercises on one of the
footpaths. Part of her exercise routine involved having some elasticated band
around her thighs. However from more than five yards away it really did look as
though her knickers had fallen down.
One home I had a go at the lawn. As
always strimming the lawn’s edges took an age. I really need to get some
strimming line that doesn’t keep snapping every twenty to thirty seconds.
With that strimmed I drove "er
indoors TM" to the garage where she rummaged in her car for
something or other, then I drove her to the co-op so she could do the shopping
for a change. For all that I’m having a go at shopping I’m not convinced I’m
doing it at all well…
Seeing my new blue marker pen had
arrived I took it up to the loft and coloured in the heads of what will be Lego
Bill and Lego Ted. The blue statue seems to work. I then spent an hour or so
sorting Lego; the sorting would have gone much better had Treacle not jumped
into the middle of it all.
At six o’clock I sparked up my lap-top.
We’d arranged a virtual meet-up for the Kent Association of the Hunters of
Tupperware, and used the Zoom software. We had twenty-three people on screen at
one stage; it was good to catch up.
I ironed shirts, I watched “Bottom”…
not a bad day’s leave really…
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