4 June 2011 (Saturday) - One Step Beyond....

The last two days have taken their toll. My stomach’s not been right for a day or so. I blame Thursday night’s curry. The menu did rate my vindaloo at six chillies, and the next hottest dish only had four. But it was tasty at the time. I expect my insides will be back to usual (if not “normal”) in a day or so.
As well as intestinal discomfort (posh for excessive farting) I also woke this morning feeling almost unable to move. I’m getting un-fit. I think I need to do more walks like yesterday’s.

I worked this morning: I wasn’t rota-ed to, but the boss was, and she wasn’t keen to work. Did I want to do her shift? So I had the chance of overtime and I took it.
After a dull morning I came home and cleaned out the fish pond filter, then (having scrubbed myself) I ironed for two hours, whilst watching the film “Aliens”. And then, having fallen asleep for an hour or so after the film, the day had been pretty much wasted.

Fortunately we had plans for the evening. To Maidstone, via Smarden – our usual chauffer had blown a gearbox (ouch!), and so it was only fair that he be driven for once. There was a dodgy five minutes on arrival in Maidstone: a skimpily clad drunken boiler was announcing to the world that she had no stripper for their hen party. I was seriously contemplating flopping it all out for a tenner for them. But I was reliably informed they could get better for cheaper at the Electric Rhino Sex Shop (!)
Fortunately for all, we soon reached our destination. A friend of a friend’s daughter is a member of the Stage Theatre Society, and tonight they put on “Our House”: the Madness equivalent of “Mamma Mia”. As a young lad in the late 70s I was there when Madness first appeared on the music scene. I remember when “Baggy Trousers” and “Night Boat to Cairo” first came out. And so I really enjoyed tonight’s show, quietly singing along to all of the songs. Mind you, the plot was somewhat difficult to figure out, but if you’ve seen the movie “Sliding Doors”, you’d soon get the hang of what was going on. I for one had an wonderful evening.
(And on the way home we got to see a seriously foxy transvestite, which isn’t something you see every day).

However (and there is always a “however”), I’ve always said that I don’t like going to the cinema; preferring to see the film in comfort at home. The same is doubly true of theatre. Tonight’s show was excellent; there’s no denying that. However (like every performance I’ve seen at the Hazlett Theatre) the hard work of the performers was let down by the sound system. For about half the time it was not possible to hear the actors because the band’s music was too loud. The theatre was too hot, and I was very uncomfortable and very sweaty for the entire performance.
And then there was the Great Unwashed. There was a constant stream of the Lower Orders walking in and out of the theatre on various missions of their own. The porky biddy next to me stank to high heaven, and wouldn’t shut up about her grand daughter who was playing the part of “second baggy trouser”. And I came very close to slapping the prat in the queue for the ice cream stall who was oblivious to the rest of the world. Could he honestly not see that whilst he was attempting to charm his way into the knickers of the young lady selling ice creams, the queue was growing longer each second?
The same company will be putting on a production of “Les Miserables” in a few months time. For all that I know I would really enjoy the show itself, I might give that one a miss….

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