12 December 2009 (Saturday) - Ladders, Pamper Parties, Stuff

‘er indoors TM had her works Xmas do last night, and so woke me at 3am by coming home “quietly”. I now see where the first fruit of my loin gets his “ninja-like stealth”. She woke me again at 8am with perhaps the world’s most foul “Dutch oven”. How ladylike(!) Whilst she cleared off out to flog candles at a “Pamper Day”, I ate breakfast. I had toast and coffee – my first solid food for three days. Oh, it was lovely. I’m sure that I’ve lost weight over the last few days, only having eaten soup and porridge.

The postman delivered the morning’s mail. One Xmas card, and two slips to say we had stuff waiting at the sorting office. Stuff that didn’t have enough stamps on it. So I drove up to Tannery Lane, and narrowly avoiding crashing into the normal person coming the opposite way (woops!), I took my place in the queue. As always when I take I.D., they weren’t fussed about I.D., and I paid £2.34 to get two cards identical to the one they were quite happy to deliver. I could complain, but it would achieve nothing. I shall just bill my mother (!)

Whilst the rain held off, I kicked “My Boy TM ” out of bed, and with a ladder borrowed from a neighbour, I had a look at my flat roof. It’s still leaking a bit. It was too wet to re-proof it, but I couldn’t see any cracks or holes. I can only assume that water is getting in under a tile near the front. There is a gap where water might conceivably be getting in. When it’s dry I’ll get back up there and pack it with jollop. In the meantime I took the opportunity to scrape out the gutters (yuk!) We had a card through the door a week ago from some chap who was offering to clean out the gutters for twenty quid. I did the job in less than ten minutes. Perhaps I could do gutters – it might be a nice little earner.

And then I wandered down the road. ‘er indoors TM had a stall at a “Pamper Day”, which was being run by the same people who did the psychic fair a few weeks ago. Bearing in mind what a laugh (!) that was, I thought I’d have a look at today’s performance. They’d all set up shop at 10am, and when I sauntered in at mid day I was told that I was the day’s first punter. I’m afraid many of my loyal readers missed a treat today. The “Pamper Day” was brilliant, and the candle stall was the centre of attraction. But it was up against some pretty stiff competition, with Indian head massages (five quid), beads and orchids for sale (overpriced), aura photography (fifteen quid) and someone who’d fiddle with your feet for three quid. I couldn’t understand why the general public weren’t there in droves. And the refreshments - a cup of coffee in a chipped mug was only a pound. I can imagine the executives at Starbucks quaking in their corporate boots. And there was even a bored-looking fit bird in the corner that you could sniff around, should you feel so inclined.

Home for dinner. A sandwich and a bottle of pop. It’s so good to be able to eat again. And then I dropped the most recent fruit of my loin in town whilst I went to Sainsbury’s for Xmas champagne. I say “Xmas champagne” – it’s actually porter, but it is in a big bottle, and my mother will never know the difference (with any luck).

I then took “Daddies Little Angel TM ” to the Pamper Day – I didn’t want her to miss out on the fun. Her arrival doubled the day’s attendees, and she made the first (and only) purchase of the day that wasn’t made by a stallholder. Some beads. And then back home to waste an hour or so in NeverWinter whilst waiting for my beloved to return home. “Pamper Day” was abandoned early, and then we went shopping. First to Tesco for the boring stuff, and then to B&Q, ostensibly for light bulbs, but whilst we were in there I got the most wonderful singing reindeer. I have never seen such high quality tat in my life. It’s brill!!

And then another evening wasted in NeverWinter. In retrospect I spent a lot of today being rather bored, but it’s the boring dull days that make the other days seem so good..

Meanwhile in another plane of reality, “weirdie beardie” has been mistaken for a real postman. The Bulgarian alien has a package he wants dealt with.


  1. Still clutching his handbag I see. Hmmmmmm.....a package he wants someone to deal with.........sounds very pervy to me.

    By the way.........I LOVE the reindeer. You should post a video of them singing.

  2. It's the little one at the front that makes me laugh, when he vibrates so that his bell rings!