16 March 2010 (Tuesday) - National Science Week

I woke up at 4am again, and was disappointed to find it was still dark. I lay dozing until 6am, when I decided it was light enough to see what I was doing, and so I got up. There are those that might say I got up too early, but when I have a job to do, I want to get on with it. After all, I’ve painted the front of the house in the dark before.

I was expecting to take an age to fix the pond filter. The thing went together in about five minutes, and seemed to be working when I left it. Mind you I’ve had to bodge the lid on the base to prevent small leaks. When it’s filled with water it’s very heavy, and over the years where it’s been sitting on uneven ground the base unit has rather bent itself out of shape, and so the lid doesn’t fit quite as snugly as once it did. In all honesty the box probably could do with being replaced, but a new box would similarly twist out of shape too. Unless I re-landscaped a flat area on which the filter unit could sit. Which would be a lot of hard work as well as a lot more expense. I’ll see how the thing holds up over the next day or so before doing anything too radical.

Last night I’d managed to park my car outside the house. This was handy because I had those planks of wood to bring in. So I lugged them about, and then remembered that I’d planned to clean up the front garden last weekend, but had run out of time. I got the brush and swept up, which didn’t take long. I then experimented with my wooden planks. They look like they will fit where I want them exactly, but if I just bodge them in place, they too will rot away. So for each one I’ll need to clear out the existing gravel, lay fresh membrane under where each plank will go, screw the planks in place, treat them, then re-gravel. That’ll be an afternoon’s work. Less if any of my loyal readers fancy chipping in (he smiled hopefully!). Pausing only briefly to chat with the blue tit which had been following me round all morning, I then went and woke my darling wife from her slumbers – by now it was 7.30am. Time for brekky.

I then mucked about in NeverWinter for a while before popping to Bybrook Barn for some membrane. It was great – there was a mad woman there, having rather vocal disagreements with the voices in her head. She even tried to get me to take her side of the argument against the voices at one point. I would love to have stayed but I had to get to work.

I wonder how many of my loyal readers knew that it is now National Science Week? It is – and today we’d invited all the local sixth forms to send their science students up to the hospital for a day of science. During the morning they had talks on diabetes, cervical cytology, and dull stuff like that. During the afternoon the theme was parasites (yuk!) and one of the talks was me wittering on about the effects of malaria on human evolution. I’m told it went down well. Let’s hope so…

15 March 2010 (Monday) - More Shopping

I woke up at 4am bursting for a tiddle, but didn’t go. Instead I lay in bed in increasing agony until 7.30am at which time I could hold it in no more, and so finally got out of my pit. Why do I do this? I could have had three hours more sleep, but no.

To the computer. Facebook is having an “International 'Blackadder' status day” today (apparently), so I went with a status from when Brian Blessed was in Blackadder. It would seem that I was alone in doing this. Oh well – I’m usually in a minority, so no change on that front.

I then played around with Google Street View, calling up pictures of my mother’s house, and some addresses I know in the Brighton area. I see the crackpot looney lefties are insisting that the whole concept of Google Street View is an invasion of privacy and is breaching all our human rights. They even insist it is a god-send to burglars. I can’t see how that argument works. But on reflection, I can’t help but wonder how much it cost to set up. Photographing every street in the country couldn’t have been cheap.

And so shopping - first of all back to World of Water to get new innards for the pond filter. Google Maps said a round trip would take me fifty minutes. I took seventy-five. But I got the new quartz tube gubbins for only fifteen quid. Let's hope that works and doesn't leak - a whole new filter unit will cost ten times that amount. I’ll play with it in the morning before work.

Then to Jewsons for gravel boards. I don’t know if they had what I wanted. I asked, but it was quite obvious that they couldn't care less. They didn’t actually say “F@*! off, Fatso”, but it didn’t take a mind reader to see that was what they were thinking.

So I went to Ashford's Builder Centre, who were welcoming, helpful and friendly. They had eight inch wide wood. And they cut it to six foot lengths for me, and carried it to my car. It's at times like this when I miss the Espace. I've got used to having a car into which everything and anything will fit, and sometimes I forget the new car isn’t as big.

By the time I'd bought some lunch I was worn out. Usually when on a late I have a lie in and muck about in NeverWinter and YoVille before rolling into work. I’d run myself ragged before I even started today….

14 March 2010 (Sunday) - Busying About

I awoke to find a Sunday morning which wasn’t either pouring with rain or shivering in sub-zero temperatures, so after a quick bit of brekky I made a start on the beginning of the year jobs in the garden. First of all to sweep round the yard to gather up all the dead leaves, the discarded fag ends and all the general tat. I got three dustbin bags full of that, and then the lawn had its first mowing of the year.

I noticed that the fence between our garden and next door is seriously rotting away where he’s piled soil up against the fence on his side. I took advice, and it would seem I need gravel boards. Gravel boards are lumps of wood I can nail to the fence to bodge it up for a few more years. So I went shopping for some. To B&Q, Wickes, Homebase and the local WyeVale. All of whom had the things (at various prices), but they all had six inch ones. I had a vague idea I might need bigger than that, so I gave up and came home to check. I was right – I need eight inches or more (oo-er!). I shall try Jewson’s in the morning.

Whilst ‘er indoors ^TM mended the broken toilet, I mucked out the fish pond filter. Oh, how it stank. And despite a good scrub, I decided that the filter medium was past its best, so I set off on another mission to get more. World of Water is usually a good place for anything pond-related. However today they were rather busy, and I was lumbered with the trainee, who wasn’t much good (bless him). I got my filter pads, but he knew nothing about flocculants. So I went to Swallow aquatics, who were similarly ignorant on the subject of flocculation.

A quick voom round Tesco’s for the shopping (I’d been given a list) and then home again. I reassembled the pond filter, turned it on, and water flooded out of the lid before blowing a fuse. There’s a glass tube in which the fluorescent bulb sits. This glass tube had broken over the winter. I hope I can replace that tube – a whole new filter unit costs over one hundred and fifty quid. I’ll go back to World of Water in the morning as well.

Meanwhile I joined another group on Facebook. This is something I’ve been doing for years – I can remember doing it at cub camp in 1997. I wonder if we might start a craze here…

13 March 2010 (Saturday) - Mothers Day (Early!)

The morning’s haul of emails brought something from one Shung Hin Hui, who clams to be a manager on investor relations in Standard Chartered Bank, Hong Kong. He says he has a business of $15.5 million for me, and says I should contact him for details. Now I’m going to turn down this once in a lifetime opportunity, but if any of my loyal readers would like those fifteen million dollars, feel free to contact Shung, and tell him I sent you.

I also had an email to tell me my most recent eBay purchase had been dispatched. I was opening the parcel as I read the email – that was efficient posting (!)

Meanwhile I see Ashford has been added to Google Street View. If you type my address into Google Maps you get a picture of my house. As it appeared over a year ago before I painted it. When it still had a fence. And with all the road works in place. The Batfarm is also there, as are the houses of several of my loyal readers. However those in the posher areas of town are not. Residences in Copperwood are hidden behind a tree, and certain addresses in Aylesbury Road simply aren’t on there. One wonders why….

And then off to see mummy. It’s mother’s day tomorrow, but we thought we’d “do it” today instead. On the way down to Hastings I went into Tesco to get the flowers. I’d never seen so many bunches of flowers in my life, and as fast as the staff were putting up the display, so the normal people were snapping the flowers up. And the prices were so variable. I just grabbed the first bunches that came to hand. One had a label on it saying the price was fifteen quid. I put them back and swapped them for ones which in all honesty looked identical to me, but were a fraction of the price.

We took Mum out for lunch at the Queens’ Head in Icklesham. Mum seemed to enjoy herself: I certainly did. A really good curry, followed by Xmas pudding. And washing it down with pints of “Pearl of Kent”, “Ransmore”, “Harvey’s Old”, and “East India Pale Ale” just made for heaven on Earth.

With nine (I counted them) different ales on the hand pump (they had Abbott, not photographed), friendly service and really good food, it’s somewhere I can heartily recommend. The last time I visited this place was in June 2001 whilst on a walk. However, back in 2001 there was a train service to within (sensible) walking distance of the place. Now the closest railway station is some seven miles away, and unless we have someone who’s happy to drive, this place is a tad tricky to get to.

I understand there’s an hourly bus service. That might be worth investigating.

We then ran Mum hone, and visited Mother in law. The original plan was to take her out to dinner too, but other offspring had claimed dibs on that mother first. So we popped in to deliver her triffid, and I slept whilst everyone else chatted whilst ignoring the rugby on the telly.

Shortly after arriving back home, “Daddies Little Angel ^TM ” visited, complete with her entourage. They’d been to Birmingham to laugh at the accents. A long way to go, but on the way home they popped in to do the mothers day thing early. They’d also brought me back some lego, so I suppose their day wasn’t entirely wasted….

12 March 2010 (Friday) - Recycling

I was woken by the noise of the recycling van coming up the road this morning. Or to be precise, not so much the van as the noise of the bottles and cans being recycled. Oh, they are noisy beggars. So I leapt out of bed and ventured through the hailstorm to have a word with them – we needed a new blue box for the recycling. Ours keeps getting stolen. We keep the thing in the back garden, put it out on the Friday morning when we hear them coming, and fetch it back once they have gone. And over the last year or so we have had two boxes stolen in the few seconds between the box getting emptied and our going out to retrieve the thing.

Unfortunately the chap on the van didn’t have a spare box, and said for us to phone the council. I told him that we’d had two boxes nicked recently. He wasn’t surprised; this isn’t uncommon. He said that he’s watched several people pick up recently emptied boxes, throw them in the back of their cars and drive off with said boxes. He also mentioned that there are a growing number of houses who have their blue recycling boxes chained to walls and fences.

I can’t work this one out. We need the specific blue recycling box because the council people won’t accept recycling in any other container. But if someone wants a blue placcy box, then there are similar ones in B&Q for only a couple of quid. Surely it’s cheaper (if you value your time) to buy a box rather than to waste time and petrol staking out the bin men.

So I phoned the council to organise a new blue box. It took some doing, as they claimed they’d never heard of me, or my address. It was only when I asked if I didn’t exist on their records, could they explain their recent demand for council tax that they actually took me seriously. A new box will arrive in a week or so.

And then to work, which was on the dull side…. Some days my life is eventful. Others, not so…

11 March 2010 (Thursday) - Silly Hats

It pained me this morning to have to correct one of my loyal readers who seemed to mistake a star for a gas giant. Shame on you – whoever you are! By one of life’s many co-incidences, said loyal reader may well have benefited from the conversation which I overheard today.

Whilst walking to my car I found myself walking behind someone wearing one of the most stupid hats I have ever seen. This person was talking with his two mates on the subject of astronomy. So fascinating was their discourse, I followed them past my car and half way up the road to the shops. One of the lads (the one with the stupid hat) was explaining the difference between a galaxy and the solar system. It would seem that the solar system is the sun and two planets and probably the moon, and the galaxy is everything else. Furthermore, stars are comets: after all, we’ve all heard the expression “shooting stars”, haven’t we? When one of his acolytes asked what he Moon actually was, the prat in the hat replied “Well, it’s like, the Moon, innit? Know what I mean?” And to my amazement, this idiot’s hangers on nodded sagely at such wisdom. He went on to add that the Moon is a long way away – that’s why it’s in the sky, and the stars are what makes the light years (!)

And so to work where we had a cohort of students being shown around. We played our usual game of running a sweepstake on how many would be wearing stupidly ridiculous hats. Only one this time – very thin pickings. Mind you, the one with the stupid hat wound me up. He made no secret of his boredom, and spent his time standing at the back texting mates on his mobile. Why come on the outing if you aren’t interested?

And then one of the students fainted. There is always one that faints: it always amazes me. Now it’s no secret that many people wouldn’t be comfortable with what I do for a living. I muck about with (read “scientifically investigate”) people’s blood.

To a lot of people I imagine this might seem gruesome. To me, having been doing it for more years than I care to remember, it’s no big deal. And for anyone taking the degree course which is a pre-requisite for a job in pathology, dealing with blood shouldn’t be a big deal either. So why is it that every year we have at least one who keels over at the sight of a bottle of the red stuff?

10 March 2010 (Wednesday) - The News

Regular readers of this drivel will know that I regularly listen to the news shows on Radio Four. As well as telling me stuff I’d never otherwise know, they have quite insightful interviews too. Yesterday featured an article on Hitler’s “Spyclists” – allegations that eighty years ago the Hitler Youth movement formed links with scout groups in the UK, and groups of young Germans holidayed in the UK whilst checking out the lie of the land for a possible future invasion. They even interviewed ex- members of the Hitler youth (now well into their nineties) who described how they spent their summers in England, and were told to memorise the UK landmarks and local geography. It was absolutely fascinating.

Then the tone of the program changed. The next news item described plans to deliberately release an insect into the UK which is not native. The idea is that this creature (Psyllid) only eats one plant, and that plant – Japanese knotweed – is growing out of control in parts of the UK. In theory this insect will destroy the problem weed, but won’t be a problem to other plants because it doesn’t eat them. I suspect this is what the Australians thought about Cane Toads before said animals stuffed up the local ecologies.

And as is always the case with any news article which is vaguely science-related, the commentators treated the whole thing as a great joke. The potential destruction of all plant life in the UK was a subject of great hilarity.

It never fails to amaze me that the sporting events of the day, or the latest political trivia, or anything at all to do with “the arts” are covered with the utmost sincerity and gravity by the BBC, but anything vaguely scientific is a subject of ridicule. Developments in computing science, potential medical breakthroughs, discoveries about how reality works, are all viewed with a mild disdain.

There was an article last week about the fact that scientists are now (pretty much) sure that the dinosaurs were wiped out when a huge space rock crashed into the Earth. The presenters had a few sniggers about this.

Obviously it’s a cause of mirth. I would have though that finding out that most of the biosphere was destroyed without warning (on several occasions) might be something worth knowing. And that an application of this knowledge might be to chuck up a few satellites to have a look-see to find out if there are any other such boulders heading our way.

As always I was wrong. The potential extinction of humanity was to be treated as one big joke; the serious articles of the day were the decline of polo as a competitive sport in the UK, and Icelandic elections.

I’ve mentioned before that I shouldn’t listen to the news…