21 July 2026 (Tuesday) - Late Shift

For all that I slept well, I woke exhausted following a night of nightmares. I woke in a cold sweat in the small hours following a rather vivid dream in which my late father had taken the house apart in order to repair a problem that simply wasn’t there. And then I found myself charged with going back in time to organise a geocaching mega-event fifteen years ago.

 

I made toast and peered into the Internet as I do and saw something which made me think. When I was a lad I was wrapped up in the Boys Brigade. Looking back that was a mistake. The Boys Brigade is a *very* religious organisation and it seriously messed with my head. One of the greatest regrets of my life is that I introduced a good friend to the Boys Brigade and he fell for the religion hook, line and sinker. He’s now a Baptist minister in the West country and regularly posts videos of his morning prayers on Facebook. He’s now off on “sabbatical” From what I can work out this entails three months of doing precious little but going off on holiday and sitting on your. bum saying prayers at someone else’s expense. And that someone else’s expense is tax-free – the Baptist Union is quite clear on the matter.

This got me thinking... and I did a little looking-up. A Baptist minister earns thirty thousand quid a year, gets a free house and a pension too. All for blathering a few platitudes.

Who’s the daft one, him or me…

I Munzed, and took the dogs out.

 

As we drove so the pundits on the radio were talking about how the new Prime Minister is sorting out the nation’s finances… or trying to. His attempts to sort the issues with the water companies by nationalising them seem to have fallen at he first hurdle. Those owed money by the water companies want their bit and are mounting a legal challenge to be sure they get it. And they probably will. I can remember a favourite author of mine who once wrote “"If a man stopped me in the street and demanded of me my watch I should fight him for it. If, on the other hand, he should assert his intention of trying to obtain it by means of an action in any court of law, I should take it out of my pocket and hand it to him, and think I had got off cheaply".

And there was talk of VAT on leccie bills being abolished. The expert opinion was that it might save the average household fifty quid a year which would be more than wiped out by the rise in leccie prices.

The new Prime Minister has got his work cut out…

 

We got to the woods. Being pressed for time we went to Orlestone today where the car park had only one other car in it. We walked anticlockwise today as the driver of that other car was fifty yards in front of us going clockwise and his dogs were barking at us. I don’t know where they went though; we didn’t meet them half-way round like you’d think we might.

We chased a few squirrels, but didn’t roll in anything. And the swamps had dried out too. After two miles we were back at the car after a rather uneventful walk. I like those.

 

We came home. I made us both a cuppa. I wrote up some CPD, Wordled my way from “dream” (which gave me nothing at all) to “shill” on the fourth attempt. I got “shill” as nothing else would fit. Apparently “shill” is the sort of person who gives positive reviews to companies and services with which they have a vested interest. As I’ve often said, a day when you learn nothing is a day wasted… I then wasted half an hour playing Meowdoku and then set off to the late shift.

 

As I headed off to work I saw a traffic warden on a pedal bike. Is that a new thing? Presumably so they can make a quick getaway having done the dirty. A friend of a friend once told me that they once worked as a traffic warden for a short time and were under orders to be sure that they issued enough parking tickets to cover their wages.

I drove up the ex-motorway (now dual carriageway) watching very few lorries coming down the "Operation Brock" bit. Again nothing was being held up in it. As I drove I had a strange phone call. Someone with a Scottish accent claiming to be called Tony called me saying that they were returning my call.  I'd not called him and I told him so, at which point he got rather aggressive and confrontational. I hung up. Being able to use the hands-free phone thingy in my car is something of a novelty, but I could do without nutters bothering me.

 

I went in to the Sainsbury's petrol station in Aylesford. As well as petrol I got lunch.  I made a point of telling the woman on the till that what I had was the meal deal as she never charges the reduced meal deal rate (always charging full whack). She took umbrage and refused to honour the nectar card deal voucher that she'd given me the last time I was there.

 

I went in to work and did my bit. Things weren't as bad as they might have been, but I was glad to see the night shift arrive. I drove home listening to more Adrian Mole. Pandora had returned from Tunisia which was (as we have all been told) "full of hazards".

 

The trouble with the late shift is that it finishes too late. By the time I got home it was gone ten o’clock…

20 July 2026 (Monday) - Pond Filters, Ironing

Every night I either lay awake all night or sleep for nine hours… Last night was a better one. Once I’d got into the right position so that the shoulder wasn’t playing up I was out like a log.

I got up at eight o’clock and made toast.

 

This morning (being up a bit later getting up) there was quite a bit of stuff on Facebook as I scoffed my toast. This weekend just gone had been Pirates Day in Hastings. I *always* find out about that after the event. Not that going there with the dogs would have been very practical.

Some idiot half-wit was banging on about how the vapour trails from aircraft are a relatively new thing and were some joint conspiracy of the loony left who were acting in cahoots with Satan, and no end of other idiot half-wits were joining in to agree with him. The argument would have made more sense if anyone could have explained exactly what was wrong with these vapour trails, or exactly what the loony left and Satan were planning.

And someone on a local page was complaining about something or other. The specifics are irrelevant, but everyone involved in the bickering was using an alias. No one was brave enough to put their name to what they were saying.

Back in the day the weekend just gone would have seen Canterbury’s beer festival. That used to be great fun… that seems to have stopped.

 

In between falling over dogs I hung the washing out. They wouldn’t stop bothering me this morning; they wanted their walk so we set off to find the car. Having had to park three streets away when I came home from work yesterday (as there were no spaces closer to home) there were three empty parking spaces right outside the house this morning.

As we drove to the woods so the pundits on the radio were interviewing Josh Kerr. In all the hysteria about world cup football his breaking the record for running a mile in the shortest time over the weekend has pretty much gone unnoticed.

 

We got to the woods. We had our walk. We walked about four miles (again my watch and my phone were half a mile apart in their estimates). Apart from growling at two groups of normal people the walk passed off without episode. No poo was rolled in, no swamps were wallowed in, no squirrels were chased.

 

We came home. I made us a cuppa. I Munzed, Wordled from “right” to “diver” in six goes. I wrote up some CPD including my three thousandth CPD (continuing professional development) blog entry. That blog is supposed to be a record of what I’ve learned in my professional capacity. Legally I’m supposed to keep up to date with developments in my field, and to keep a record that I’ve done so. An on-line blog works for me, and it has quite the following with over two hundred people having looked at it over the last three weeks. If only I knew who they were I might see if I can’t blag some of their CPD efforts.  

 

I ran out the hose and topped up the ponds, and whilst I was ponding I ran out the thick hose and cleaned out the pressure filter. Cleaning that is so simple compared with cleaning the old box filters I used to have.

And with filters cleaned and pond topped up so the dogs had a drink from the aerator-splashy-fish-ornament. The pigeons were drinking from it last week, “er indoors ^TM” told me that the seagulls were having a drink from it last weekend, and now the dogs are having a slurp.

I made some toast for lunch and with that scoffed I set about the ironing that was in the ironing box. That took an hour or so, and then I sat by the pond and read my Kindle, played Meowdoku and had a little doze.

 

Bearing in mind that “er indoors ^TM” was going bowling later I emptied the washing basket into the washing machine. I thought I might iron the shirts and sort the undercrackers whilst she was out.

And once she’d boiled up dinner and gone bowling that’s what I did.

At the moment the laundry is non-existent. Both the washing and ironing baskets are empty. Go me.

Mind you, it won’t stay that way…

19 July 2026 (Sunday) - Early Shift

I woke at four o'clock. The pain in my shoulder had returned with a vengeance. I couldn't get comfortable so I got up, made toast and watched an episode of "Stranger Things", then had a little look at the Internet. It was still there, and there wasn't much of note on there early on a Sunday morning. 

I tried not to disturb anyone as I got dressed, but as I did so “er indoors ^TM” had an attack of cramp and made enough noise to wake the dead. It you are wondering what woke you at quarter to six this morning, that was her.

 

I set off west-wards to work. I tried listening to the radio but the news was depressing. That idiot Donald Trump is pursuing his war in the Middle East for no other reason than that because he can (from what I can see).

And there was talk of the new Prime Minister looking to start drilling for oil in the North Sea (again). What with the state of the Middle East he'd be daft not to.

This was followed by what I can only describe as utter tripe, so I turned off the radio and listened to my Adriam Mole audiobooks. They were far clearer that the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy MP3s I've been listening to. I'll see if I can get better versions of those.

As I drove I was held up by two sets of traffic lights. No road works, just traffic lights. You'd think that whoever was responsible for traffic lights would take them down when there is quite obviously no need for them. I was also held up by a swarm of cyclists on the A262. You'd think they'd take the more scenic lanes, wouldn't you? I certainly used to back in the day when I had a bike.

 

I got to work and had a little chat with the girl who was finishing the night shift. She used to work where I used to work, and listening to her reminiscing made me remember just how unhappy I'd been working in that place for so long. It took me years to realise that a workplace didn't have to be hell on Earth, and that I didn't have to feel physically sick at the thought of going to work.

 

I did what I couldn't avoid and it wasn’t really that long until I was on my way home. But by the time I’d got home and had a little sleep (the very early start had caught up with me) it was too late to do very much.

I played Meowdoku whilst “er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good bit of stir-fry which we scoffed whilst watching the final of “The Traitors USA” which turned out to be something of a triumph of deception over decency. Much like life in general really… We followed this with a show in which all the contestants came back together and talked about how the show had gone. The reunion would have been a lot better had it featured the chap who’d hosted the show rather than wheeling on someone new. I couldn’t really concentrate on the reunion show itself… I’m not sure what was the most distracting; the host being cross eyed, the obvious over-acting, the ridiculous hats or the rampant brazen chest-brandishing of the lady contestants.

 

My shoulder still hurts.

18 July 2026 (Saturday) - Dog Club, Games Night

I slept reasonably well. Somehow I’ve managed to pull a muscle in my shoulder and if I don’t get into just the right position it plays up. I managed to get comfortable and slept far better than I did yesterday.

 

I made toast and had a look at the Internet. Some Reform UK councillor was posting videos on Facebook supposedly shaming non-Reform UK councillors who weren’t singing the National Anthem at the most recent council meeting. Sadly all he did was expose what a pathetic attempt the councillors had made at singing the National Anthem. For some reason my Facebook feed often presents me with posts from Reform UK councillors. All but one of them post nothing but personal attacks on their political opponents. The one that doesn’t is my local councillor who does seem to actually do stuff, but he’s now packed up with Reform UK and joined the breakaway Restore UK. But the masses lap it up… You wouldn’t believe the posts of support this lot get for doing nothing other than smearing their opponents.

I Munzed, and Wordled from “slept” through “track”, “dotty”, “month” and “tooth” to get it with “booth” on the last attempt.

Steve was on the radio doing the “Guess the Lyrics” competition.  “I like Angela, Pamela, Sandra and Rita”. That one was easy. “Mambo Number Five” by Lou Bega.

 

We went round to Dog Club. We had a good turn-out with over sixteen dogs along. It was difficult to count as they all kept moving about but there were at least sixteen dogs. Morgan was in something of a “frisky” mood. I wish he would be a tad more moral.

 

“er indoors ^TM” went off to craft club. I took the dogs to Tenterden. As we drove Steve was doing the Mystery Year competition on the radio. When was the two-pound coin released? 1998. I drove all the way to Tenterden listening to the radio. The signal did far better on the way to Tenterden than it did going less than half the distance to Charing last week.

We got to the steam railway where there was a little geo-meet taking place. It was good to catch up with friends. We chatted for a bit, but the dogs eventually got bored and fractious.

We came home.

 

I made myself a cuppa and sparked up my old lap-top (the one with the CD Rom drive). Once it had booted up (about fifteen minutes) I carried on converting my new Adrian Mole audiobooks to MP3 format. Converting ten CDs took two hours. As I did that I watched the first two episodes of “Stranger Things”. There’s been a new series released (a few months ago) and having forgotten pretty much everything about the show I thought I’d be better off starting again. It was rather good.

 

“er indoors ^TM” came home from craft club with raspberries and Belgian buns. Once we’d done “FEED THE FISH” I watered the plants, and then had a little look at the audiobooks… It looks to me as though the CDs has the first, second and fourth book… but not the third. I expect I shall find out.

 

Steve, Sarah and Chris came round, and we had a rather good evening on the Infinity table. “Game of Life”, “Sorry”, “Ticket to Ride”… 

I do like our games nights…

17 July 2026 (Friday) - Bonus Early Shift

“er indoors ^TM” and the dogs came to bed about an hour after me. By the time Bailey had finished licking my head and had settled I was wide awake, and I stayed that way. I gave up trying to sleep and got up at half past four. I made toast and sparked up Netflix.

“Parasyte – The Grey” was probably a decent show when made, but like other Korean shoes (Alice in Borderland, Squid Game…) it seems to have lost a lot in translation. It was a shame that they had pretty much exactly the same monster as the one that appeared in “Stranger Things”.

I won’t be watching the second episode.

 

I had a quick look at the Internet. There was an interesting post on the Facebook page about sightings of large cats in Kent. I'm sure I once saw one in Hawkhurst, and I often wonder if there's one or two in Kings Wood (something put a deer carcass up a tree a few years ago!). Was it one of those that made Morgan act so odd yesterday? Apparently one of the leading lights of the local "spotting large cats" fraternity had been asked to take part in a TV program... The filming has taken place and having signed to agree to appear on the telly the chap wasn't happy. He's had a screening of what will be broadcast and he claims that the TV show wasn't about looking for big cats in Kent. It was about laughing at people with unusual hobbies. The chap claimed that everything that he'd said to the cameras had been taken entirely out of context to make him look silly.

I suppose that at first sight anyone claiming that pumas and panthers run loose in Kent is going to seem to be a nutter... until you actually see one yourself.

I Wordled from “early” to “legal” in three goes, and got ready for work.

 

As I drove up the dual carriageway that once used to be the motorway I couldn't help but notice what a complete waste of time and money that "Operation Brock" nonsense is. There were two lanes supposedly with a fifty miles per hour speed limit with foreign lorries still trying to go at seventy, and the "Operation Brock" bit had maybe two dozen lorries (and two cars) coming down it over the entire fifteen miles.

 

As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about the film that has been made of the classic book "The Odyssey". Apparently films are now being made with cinemas in mind. It was claimed that making films for the screening apps has all but done for the cinemas with attendances massively down on what they used to be. Back in the day there was only three channels on the telly. My aunts used to "go to the pictures" every Tuesday night regardless of what was being shown. When we lived in Folkestone we used to go on a Monday night. It was cheap, and warmer than our cold flat.

But these days I'm not interested in going to the cinema. I'd rather watch a film in the comfort of my own house, be able to pause or rewind it, and not have to put up with the Great Unwashed burping and farting and fiddling on their phones. I'd rather not go to a cinema and sit through endless adverts and pay more for one film than I'd pay for an entire month of any of the streaming apps.

And there was talk of how Donald Trump is banging on about election fraud in the 2020 Presidential election. The general consensus is that he and his party are going to do incredibly badly in the upcoming mid-term elections and he's getting his lame excuses ready.

 

I got to work and cracked on with the early shift. I'd been asked to do an extra shift today, and bearing in mind the thirty-third Rule of Acquisition (it never hurts to suck up to the boss) I obliged. I'd only have walked round the woods with the dogs and dozed by the pond if I hadn't gone in. I rather missed the walk round the woods, but just lately it's been too hot to do anything much in the garden. 

I did my bit in an air-conditioned laboratory 

 

Doing the early shift was a result. I got out early (dur!). I came home via Sainsburys as I was under orders to bring milk home. I also brought home some bottles of beer, and raspberries and cream too.

I got home… and had a little doze before dinner.

 

Dinner was good. As we scoffed we watched more “The Traitors USA”. I think I’ve finally figured out how that show could be a lot better. The show needs people to be aware of subtle nuances in people’s behaviour. However the contestants in the US version treat it as a popularity contest.

I quite like watching how the so-called celebrities are so quick to parade their stupidity and ignorance.

Is that wrong of me?

16 July 2026 (Thursday) - Something Scary In The Woods

I slept for nearly eight hours last night, but woke feeling like death warmed up. I made toast and peered into the internet. It would seem that “we” lost last night. That is the England football team lost. Personally I’m not fussed, but I’m rather concerned for my many friends, colleagues and acquaintances who are clearly not of a white Caucasian appearance. Many of such friends have told me that whenever the England football team loses an important match then they don’t feel safe for up to a week. Many have been verbally harassed in the street, and some even attacked purely because the England football team lost and the thicker element wanted someone on whom to take out their frustrations.

There wasn’t much else happening on the internet this morning. I Munzed, Wordled from “slept” (via “trace”, “white” and “quote”) to end up with “butte” as it was the only thing that worked when randomly trying the letters I had left. Apparently a butte is an isolated, steep-sided hill with a small, flat top. Formed by severe erosion of a mesa (a larger table-like landform), it is common in the American West. One lives and learns.

Wordle seems good for rather stupid words at the moment.

 

I went upstairs to wake “er indoors ^TM” and the dogs, and once they’d had their brekkie we went up to the woods. As we walked we met one other person – a young lady who looked to be heavily pregnant – several months overdue by the look of her. Call me old-fashioned if you will, but is wandering round the woods on your own at that stage of the pregnancy a sensible thing to do?

 

We had a minor episode as we walked. At about the three-mile point Morgan stopped walking and started growling. As I caught up with him so he went forward oh-so-slowly, staying about six feet from me with his ears back, and grumbling as he went. This carried on for about a hundred yards after which time he seemed to venture away from my side a little more, and after another hundred yards he was back to his old self. The other two didn’t seem at all fazed, and I couldn’t see any reason for him to be scared and defensive.

I wonder what that was all about..

 

We drove home listening to more Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Once home I made us a cuppa and used Microsoft Copilot to “enhance” the photos I’d taken when out on our walk earlier.

I had a pootle in the garden. I swept up the bird seed. A few months ago that seemed to be attracting rats. I’ve not seen any for a while… I cleared dog dung. I pulled weeds from the flower pots. I thought about trimming back the hedge from not-so-nice-next-door, but it was getting a tad too hot so I sat by the pond and alternately read my Kindle and had a doze.

 

I came in and spent a couple of hours watching telly. “Unchosen” was rather good… it was only as I got to the end that I realised that the boss religious crackpot was Christopher Eccleston (of Doctor Who fame). As I watched telly so Treacle was watching me. When telly was done I got up and she ran down the garden, then came back and looked at me clearly waiting for me to say the magic words. Which I did, to her delight. She ran back down the garden squealing in excitement. We did “FEED THE FISH” then I watered the plants, and then sat by the pond for a bit reading more Kindle.

I wrote up some CPD, I ordered another e-book for my Kindle. The e-book cost ninety-nine pence. Is that cheap? Bearing in mind when I was a lad I would regularly buy paperback books out of my pocket money I thought that ninety-nine pence was (relatively) what I used to spend on a book back in the day.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching more of “The Traitors US” and whilst guzzling a bottle of plonk. And some amaretto too…

Hic !

15 July 2026 (Wednesday) - Stuff

I woke at half past two to the sound of distant barking. It sounded like Treacle. I got up to see Bailey standing on the edge of the bed looking worried. We hurried downstairs… to be followed by Treacle. I let the dogs out, but whoever had been barking had shut up.

We went back to bed where I slept through till half past seven when I woke with a headache.

 

I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet. There was an interesting post on one of the Munzee pages I follow… well not so much interesting as incomprehensible. So many people just type what they have to say and press the send button without re-reading what they’ve typed. If they did, they would see that they are writing gibberish. It would only take two seconds to check what they’ve written. Spell checkers are free.

There was a squabble on one of the local Facebook pages where someone had listed all the visitors she’d had to her house in the last month. A neighbour had been to social services with concerns that she’d had a *lot* of visitors recently and she wanted to be open about who had come to her house. It should be laughable, but some people really have nothing better to do with their time. It’s the sort of thing our nutty neighbour would have done. I wonder whatever happened to him?

And I saw a friend had been over from Australia on a flying visit. Had I known he was going to be within an hour’s drive…

 

I took the dogs up to the woods. As we drove the pundits on the radio were dribbling on about… I have no idea what they were dribbling on about. Many years ago I realised just how out of touch I was with current affairs so I make a point of listening to the morning and evening news programs when driving. Sometimes there’s interesting stuff. Sometimes it boils my piss. But usually (like this morning) it is utter tripe that is forgotten by the time I’ve parked my car.

 

We got to the woods and set off on our walk. I tried to photograph the dogs but my phone had frozen up. I eventually forced it to re-start, and as we walked (apart from two people at the car park) we walked for an hour and a half and only saw one other person.

We found a pond though. Treacle had a paddle and a swim, but Morgan and Bailey wouldn’t even go close.

We saw two herds of deer, but they were gone before I got the camera out.

As we came home I listened to more of the Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Did you know that John Le Mesurier played the part of the Wise Old Bird? I remember him doing that on the radio all those years ago.

 

Once home I gathered a bumper crop of dog turds from the garden (before Bailey could go eat it), then washed my hands and made us a cuppa. I Munzed, and Wordled. Starting with “sound” I worked my way through “flask” and “aspic” to “pshaw” which (apparently) is a seventeenth century word used to express strong disapproval, contempt, impatience, or disbelief. One lives and learns.

I spent a couple of hours marking trainee’s work. Some of them have recently passed their exam, which was something of a result.

I screwed on the wishing well’s roof. I’d just sat it on previously and the wind had taken it off.

I watched a couple more episode of “Unchosen” in which the righteous turned out to be iniquitous sinners (they usually are).

And then, seeing that Treacle was watching me like a pork (to coin a phrase) I loudly announced that it was time to “FEED THE FISH”. The ceremony of feeding the pond fish really is the highlight of her day. She watches me intently from mid-day onwards, and when I make the announcement that “I’M GOING TO FEED THE FISH” she charges to the pond quite literally squealing with excitement. All that happens is she gets a handful of the dried rice-cereal stuff that the fish have, but to her it really is heaven on earth.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up bangers and mash which we scoffed whilst watching a couple of episodes of “The Traitors USA”. A particularly vindictive character got the heave-ho. There’s something about the American version which is much more personal and rather nastier than the UK version.

 

And the England football team is playing in the semi-final of the world cup this evening. They are playing against the Argentinian team, and I’ve lost count of the amount of memes I’ve seen which hark back to a war which finished over forty years ago…

14 July 2026 (Tuesday) - Late Shift

I had a fairly decent night’s sleep, eventually getting up at seven o’clock. I made toast (as I do) and peered into the internet (as I do). It was still there.

This morning’s squabble was that old chestnut about how do you fill up your garden ponds? There are many who would rather use sulphuric acid than tap water as tap water is supposedly full of chemicals. These people advocate either saving rain water (that comes off of your roof and down the gutters collecting muck as it goes), or using tap water but also adding no end of chemicals to counteract those that they claim are in the tap water. It’s an argument that’s been running for years. Personally I use the water from the tap – it can’t be that bad as I’ve been drinking it for years.

Pond keepers wind me up. So many of them fart around gathering rain water, measuring the levels of no end of chemicals (that they don’t understand) and adding this treatment and that treatment to get the levels of the various chemicals just right… and then once a month they chuck out a quarter of the water and start all over again.

And there was a video on Facebook from one of the head honchos at Kent County Council saying how vital and necessary it was to bring back “Operation Brock”. The video was odd. The chap speaking banged on about how we need “Operation Brock” at peak times, and also said that the numbers of lorries using the channel crossing remain constant all year long. Why not queue up the cars full of tourists that *are* seasonal?

It struck me as rather odd that his lot all stood for election promising to get rid of it, and now they are singing its praises.

 

I Munzed, Wordled from “brock” to “steak” in five goes, then took the dogs out. As we drove the pundits on the radio were interviewing Robert Jenrick. He winds me up. He appears all over the media finding all sorts of fault with things about which he did absolutely sod all when he was actually in government himself. At one point the interviewer had to remind him that he’d been brought on to the radio to be interviewed and not to make a speech.

 

We went to Orlestone today, and walked half of what we did yesterday, but chased rabbits, and those of us that didn’t roll in fox poo went into a rather muddy swamp.

We came home for a bath, and to report the old mattress than had been fly-tipped in the car park. That mattress annoyed me for two reasons. Firstly someone had clearly made as much effort to drive the thing to the woods as it would have taken to drive to the tip. And secondly because no one else had reported it. I mentioned the thing to another dog walker who told me it had been there several days.

 

We came home where dogs got bathed. Having squealed with the fly-tipped mattress I wrote up some CPD, and carried on with a little project I’ve been doing for a few days. I’m compiling a little list of places where we’ve had (relatively) successful dog walks.

I then had a look on-line for cheap beer. Amazon have stopped knocking it out at a quid a bottle, which is a pain in the glass. I had a quick go at Meowduku, and set off to work.

 

I drove up what once was (and will be again) the motorway listening to The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Marvin the Paranoid Android outwitted a Frogstar Class D Scout Robot, and Zaphod Beeblebrox was fed into the Total Perspective Vortex. For all that the books and the TV shows and the film were good, HHG was always a radio show.

 

As I drove I saw that (as promised) "Operation Brock" was still on. As usual, nothing was being held on the motorway (it rarely is), and there were ten cars in the Brock bit that clearly hadn't read the instructions before driving into the Brock bit.

I set the cruise control at fifty miles per hour (as that is now the speed limit there), and lost count of the amount of foreign lorries that tail-ended me. Loads of them drove about six feet from my rear end before eventually overtaking at what I can only describe as "far too fast". A policeman with whom I used to go to the Open University once told me that the police never attempted to do anything about the crap driving of foreign lorry drivers as they always pretended not to be able to speak English and it was "all too much arse ache". That was thirty years ago - it would seem nothing has changed in the meantime.

 

I went in to Sainsburys to get lunch. As well as a sandwich I got a caramel and apple dipper. It looked nice. Work was work, but the caramel and apple dipper was something of a disappointment. It tasted rather cheap. I won't be getting that again. 

I did my bit, and was rather glad to see the night shift arrive.

 

It was still light as I left work. That won't last for much longer. I drove home listening to more of The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and in a novel break with tradition got to park right outside the house.

That will make for an easier trip to the woods in the morning. I can never remember where I park the car. 

 

I’ve moaned a lot today, haven’t I?

13 July 2026 (Monday) - Rather Busy

I slept through till five o’clock this morning which was something of a result. I then made the schoolboy error of going to the loo only to come back to find dogs in what had been my warm space. I eventually folded myself around then and dozed on and off for another hour or so.

 

I made toast and had my usual look at the Internet as I do. It was rather quiet this morning. No one was picking fights over trivia, no one was demanding that their imaginary god could have another person’s imaginary god in a fight. No one was having a birthday…

I had some emails. People had been looking for my geocaches in Kings Wood and elsewhere yesterday. Those who’ve not been playing the game for that long were rather effusive in their written logs. Those who are amongst the country’s top finders weren’t quite so. I’d like to think they didn’t mean to be quite as rude as they appeared to be in what they’d written.

I thought about sending then a snarky message, but thought better of doing so.

 

I took the dogs up to the woods. As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about the Falklands war of 1982. Apparently the next game that the England football team will play in the ongoing World Cup is against the Argentinian team, and a whole load of bad feeling has been stirred up.

We got to the woods and had a good walk. We didn’t see any normal people, we didn’t go in any swamps.

We replaced two geocaches that had been reported as being missing (as they were). We took a different route to our usual one. Being a warmer day I deliberately took the dogs on a shorter route… it was only about a quarter of a mile shorter according to my mapping app. I would have said a whole mile shorter – shows what I know.

 

I came home and harvested an epic crop of dog dung, cleaned out the fish pond filter, voomed round with the bionic burner, then had a little look at some of my Wherigos. A Wherigo is a special sort of geocache in which you play a little game on your phone (which I write) before being told where to find the actual geocache. Sadly a lot of people use cheat software to rip into the coding of what I’ve written to get the location without playing the game. So I’ve started writing Wherigos containing pictures giving fake locations. These pictures never appear when playing the actual game properly, but do appear when you use the cheat software.

I’ve had several people messaging me saying that they can’t find my Wherigos, and when I ask what co-ordinates they’ve got they give me the fake co-ordinates that I’ve set to catch them out. And then they try to pretend they haven’t been cheating…

 

I Munzed, Wordled from “cheat” to “stout” in four goes, and then sat by the pond reading “The Kraken Wakes”. Or I tried to. I found myself rather engrossed in the antics of the pigeons. Having spent a load of time, effort and money setting up a splash-aerator-ornamental-fish thingy it would seem that the pigeons are using it as a water fountain so that they can get a drink. I’m not complaining though; they do far less damage when they stand and drink from that than when they try to stand on the floating baskets and capsize the lot. Which they also tried to do this afternoon.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up pizza and chips and then went bowling. I cracked on with the ironing whilst watching something on Netflix. “Unchosen” is about a young woman struggling with being a part of a crackpot religious sect.

Being very wrapped up in crackpot religion when younger, that could so easily have been me.

12 July 2026 (Sunday) - Early Shift

I woke seriously early this morning. Rather than laying awake I made toast and watched the last episode of "Earth Abides".  I watched five episodes last night and watched the last one this morning. Having seen that a TV adaptation had been made of one of my favourite books I had been intrigued to see what had been done... To be honest it wasn't bad. Compared to the absolute balls-ups that have been made of televising some books (The Foundation series immediately springs to mind) it could have been a whole lot worse. The writers had taken a few liberties with the plot, and had left out quite a few of the most important parts of the book. And (like with the Harry Potter films) if you hadn't read the book you'd be wondering about a few scenes which were otherwise inexplicable.  But all things considered, a lot better than I thought it might have been.

If you've not seen it, give it a go. It's free to watch on You-Tube.

 

I Wordled, and set off to work, listening to my newly acquired Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy MP3s. They were a bit fizzy in parts, but looking back to the late seventies, the original broadcasts were also bit fizzy in parts.

As I drove the roads were quiet, as well they should be early on a Sunday morning, but there was quite a bit of traffic in Sissinghurst. I couldn't work out why until I saw the signs. A boot fair. I was amazed at just how many people were already going round the boot fair at half past six. Boot fairs are truly a sign of our times, aren't they? Back in the day people gave their rubbish to the Boys Brigade and the Scouts who would hold a jumble sale to raise funds. These days people just have a stall at a boot fair and pocket the profits themselves.

Mind you back in the day when I used to be involved with the Boys Brigade and the Scouts it was clear that jumble sales had had their day. What with the poncey stalls that they attract  it's rather fashionable to go to the boot fairs. There's a certain air of almost snobbery showing off the trinket you snapped up when you found it at a boot fair. But who has ever boasted about going to a jumble sale, let alone admitted to actually buying something from one? 

 

I got to work and did my bit. In between doing my bit I read my Kindle. I've started re-reading "The Kraken Wakes" by John Wyndham. I've always said this was an old favourite of mine... but I'd forgotten the writing style. Ridiculously upper-class and pretentious.  I still like it though.

When the late shift arrived at mid-day I slipped off for a spot of lunch. Last night “er indoors ^TM” had brought home a job lot of sarnies from the family bash I'd missed last night. As I scoffed them I thought that it would have been good to have got along. Not only could I have caught up with friends and family I've not seen for ages, but I could also have met up with one of my most loyal readers too (waves 😊 ).

But Treacle goes mental and screams and shouts if left unsupervised for more than a few minutes, and I'd rather not upset the neighbours any more than I need to. Treacle don't care though.

 

Being on an early shift was something of a result (I like the early shifts). I again listened to the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy as I drove home.  Having left the crew of the Starship "Heart of Gold" facing certain death when I'd arrived at work, I drove home listening to their antics at the restaurant at the end of the universe. Did you know there's a restaurant at the end of the universe? It turns out that there's no judgement day waiting for us, just a rather posh restaurant. And if you stick one penny in a bank account today, by the time the end of the universe comes, compound interest will have paid for your meal. 

If you live that long...

Alternatively you could spend your time with a load of hairdressers and accountants on the “B” Ark.

 

As I drove home I felt myself wilting. I got home and once I’d watered he plants and done “FEED THE FISH” I had a little shut-eye in the garden. Again having been wide awake during the night when I should have been sparko I found myself struggling to stay awake during the afternoon (And it wasn’t as though I’d been on the sauce like yesterday)

 

We had a rather good bit of dinner, and I was falling asleep over that too. I really should have an early night…

11 July 2026 (Saturday) - Dog Club, Dinner, Telly

Something odd was going on with not-so-nice-next-door this morning. Her back door was wide open. Her back door is never open for more than a second. She always has it locked, and it is open just long enough for her to jump through when she then locks it again. I wonder what was going on there this morning?

 

I made toast and looked at Facebook. It would seem that Anne Widdecombe (who I mentioned yesterday) was murdered. Whilst I realise that it is bad form to speak ill of the dead, it always amazed me that someone who was an active church-goer could have so strongly supported the policies that she did. Mind you our local Restore UK councillor is much the same. He goes to church, does such good work with the local homeless… and look at what his party advocates.

A new puzzle geocache went live. It didn’t take me long to solve it… or (to be precise) find its location. However when you get there, you’ve got a field puzzle involving a nine-volt battery. That sort of thing is all good fun, but it don’t last long before someone breaks it.

 

I Munzed, Wordled from “locks” to “avian” in four goes, then strained my brain as Steve announced the “Guess the Lyrics” competition. “Oh so let her go don’t’ start spoiling the show”. I got it right away – “Livin’ Thing” by ELO.

I sat and listened for my mention on air, and having heard the world being told that I was the first one to get it we got ready for the morning.

 

We took the dogs round to Repton and Dog Club. We had over twenty dogs along and had a great time. Mostly. Morgan has got issues with one of the newer dogs, but every time he got a little feisty I shouted at him and he came back.

From Dog Club we drove off to Charing. We tried to do Steve’s Mystery Year competition on the radio, but as we set off so the news was starting, and by the time the news and the adverts had finished we were half way up Charing hill and the signal had all but given up.

 

We got to the car park of the Wagon and Horses where we met Karl and Tracey. We went for a little walk round Longbeech North. We walked the same woods last weekend; it was rather cooler this weekend.

And with walk walked we came back to the cars and then on to the Wagon and Horses where we had a rather good bit of dinner and a little drinkie too. Though not quite as much of a little drinkie as we had last weekend.

 

We came home. I watered the garden and counted up the Dog Club money. Bearing in mind we charge one pound fifty per dog per week, how could I possibly have ended up with an odd thirty-five pence?

We did “FEED THE FISH”, I watered the plants. “er indoors ^TM” went off to a family meal in Rye. I stayed on dog duty. Having downloaded some old favourite books and MP3s I discovered “Earth Abides” had been made into a TV show. Rather than paying good money for the MGM app I had a look on You-Tube. So far the show is rather good.

 

I’ve just had a little break to do dog dinner. Morgan has refused everything. Treacle has eaten hers and Bailey’s leftovers, and having had a couple of mouthfuls Bailey has just gone into the garden where she ate the turd that Treacle had just dropped…

I’m going to watch more “Earth Abides”…

10 July 2026 (Friday) - Early Shift

I woke at four o’clock which with an alarm set was something of a result. I got up and spent an age trying to find something to watch on Netflix. I eventually settled on something called “Master of None” which was rather rubbish really.

I then had a little look t the internet which was rather quiet at half past five this morning. A friend was posting from his second Sicilian flat… He’s just bought another flat in Sicily. Holiday homes are all very well, but personally I’m not keen on the travelling to and fro. I sent out a birthday wish, and with not a lot else happening I got ready for work.

 

As I drove to work the pundits on the radio were talking about the Bayeux tapestry which arrived at the British Museum in the small hours and will be in the UK for a year.

For years I thought the Bayeux tapestry and the Hastings Embroidery were the same thing mainly because our teachers at Red Lake Primary School told is that they were. Not that anyone who lives outside of Hastings would ever have heard of either before today. I can remember our teachers at school making such an issue about it/them.

And there was talk about Anne Widdecombe who died overnight. Everyone seems to think she was a wonderful old duck following her appearance on Strictly Come Dancing; no one seems to remember what she stood for. Her voting record in parliament showed she was against gay rights, consistently voted against allowing terminally ill people to be given assistance to end their life, always voted against measures to prevent climate change, and thought the unelected House of Lords was a good thing.

 

I stopped off at the petrol station in Pembury where the stuff was five pence per litre cheaper than it was at home. I saved myself over two quid... which I then blew in Tesco not realising that the berries snack pot was classed as a main meal and not a snack, and consequently wasn't included in the meal deal.

As I queued to find this out, so some idiot woman was holding up the queue by gossiping at anyone who came within shouting distance.

 

Work was work. We had the inspectors in. Perhaps I'm getting old, but the inspector who sat with me this morning looked as though he was about twelve years old. Back in the day the bulk of laboratory inspections were carried out by recently retired lab staff.  

 

Being on an early, home time came early (it does that). I drove home listening to the Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy MP3s I downloaded. They were a tad fizzy in places, but something for nothing is always good. I can (vaguely) remember tuning in to them when they were on the radio nearly fifty years ago. I can also remember other things on the radio from back then. The Grumbleweeds (although incredibly dire on the telly) were rather funny on the radio, and Roy Castle used to have a very amusing radio show too. I wonder if I can get copies of those?

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a rather good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching more episodes of “The Traitors USA”. It was entertaining enough…

9 July 2026 (Thursday) - FTF, Phone Games, Plonk, Too Hot

I woke at five o’clock to the sound of Treacle whimpering. She’d got off the bed and wanted to come back up but clearly couldn’t. I got up to help her… and she jumped straight back onto the bed. Ho hum…

 

As I made toast I noticed my coffee mug was still a tad grubby. A quick look at the dishwasher showed several of the rinsing nozzles were bunged up. “er indoors ^TM” took it to bits and had a full-on fight with it. You wouldn’t believe the amount of muck that came out.

Whilst she clouted the thing I scoffed toast and peered into the Internet as I do. The MP for Faversham was all over Facebook whinging about what a pain in the arse “Operation Brock” has been and will be. She talked a good fight, but seemed to draw a veil over how “Operation Brock” is one of the most obvious and tangible results of Brexit (which she was all in favour of). As I’ve mentioned before, our system of democracy is a stupid one. The masses don’t like foreigners so we vote for firm border controls. And part of firm border controls is taking time to control the borders and the masses don’t like that either. And we have politicians like this one cheering on both policies effectively saying black is white and right is wrong because she doesn’t dare alienate the electorate by telling them what they don’t want to hear.

I Munzed, Wordled and we got ready for the off.

 

On Sunday morning I saw a new geocache had gone live near the canal near Hythe. Someone had looked for it that morning and not found it. On Monday the chap who’d hidden it had updated the given co-ordinates, and on Tuesday he’d posted that he’d had a look and seen it was in place. But with no one having logged a First to Find I had a plan that this might make a little dog walk this morning before it got too hot.

We drove down to Hythe and despite the utterly meaningless hint “Take the path less noticed—look where nature stands guard” we found a tube hanging from some barbed wire about seven feet up. But we were first to find it, which was more than we’d achieved yesterday which was a result.

We carried on along the canal for a little walk. Treacle fell in but was soon hoiked out. And as we came to the bridge across the canal we found a little café. I got us an ice lolly each. There’s no denying that Soleros have shrunk massively since I last had one. Apparently it’s all about reducing the calories and not maximising the profits.

 

We got back to the car just as it was getting seriously hot. Once home, “er indoors ^TM” went off shopping and got herself a haircut. Personally I’ve a set of trimmers which I run over my head every couple of weeks or so, but she pays good money to have her hair looking pretty much the same as it was before she went for the short back and slap.

I spent a few minutes fiddling about on-line and found MP3 versions of the original broadcasts of “The Hitch Hiker’s guide to the Galaxy” which I’ve put on my MP3 stick. “er indoors ^TM” returned and sorted rather good tuna and cheese rolls and we sat in the garden for a bit. Having seen endless adverts for “Matching Story” I thought I’d give it a go. It was nothing like the adverts.

 

I had a little sleep until the dogs went mad. We’d had a delivery. A few days ago I mentioned I was trying to get the Adrian Mole books in audiobook format. I came up with a plan that if I could resurrect my old lap-top I could use the CD drive on that to rip the CDs to my MP3 stick. It was a good plan, thwarted only by eBay. Having bought the complete Adrian Mole collection on audiobook CDs, am I being hopelessly naïve in expecting something billed as “The complete collection” to have all eight books and not just the first three?

The first book was on five CDs… it only took an hour to convert them to MP3 format. I’ll do the next two later, and if any of my loyal readers have any of the last five Adrian Mole books on CDs… (he smiled hopefully).

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we washed down with a bottle of that cheap plonk whilst we watched the latest series of “The Traitors US” in which a couple of dozen supposedly celebrities tried to out-overact each other.

 

I’ve set the dishy loose on the day’s crockery. Hopefully its overhaul of this morning will have sorted it out. We shall see.

8 July 2026 (Wednesday) - The Heatwave Continues

Despite the heat I slept well last night. Settled dogs make such a difference.

I got up and had a look at the potted plants in the garden. Every morning not-so-nice-next-door is out watering her plants, but the soil in my pots was still damp from yesterday so I didn’t give them another drenching. You can over-water… I think I might have don’t for my acers by doing that.

 

I made toast and had a look at the Internet. All the talk on social media this morning was about that odious Nigel Farage who was playing silly beggars. Having been accused of all sorts of financial irregularities, rather than facing a proper investigation he’s resigned as an MP. He says he will stand in a by-election and the public can decide between him and “the establishment”. It’s a rather silly attention-seeking stunt that has blown up in his face as all of the other political parties have announced they aren’t going to stand in any by-election he might set off.

I really can’t understand why anyone would vote for him anyway. It’s nothing to do with his policies; it’s him. He’s never seen in his constituency, and his record as an MEP (back in the day). He was one of the top three most poorly attending MEPs and there were allegations of his diverting money even then. His stock in trade is to stand on the political sidelines and heckle. The last thing he ever wanted was to ever get elected to anything because he would then have to do something.

And there was talk about how many non-native invasive species are now living wild in the UK. I’ve seen scorpions, parakeets, wallabies and catfish all within twenty miles of home, and I think I’ve heard wild boar (and seen their turds) in Kings Wood.

 

I Munzed. I Wordled from “plant” to “demon” in five goes, and we took the dogs out before it got too hot. A couple of days ago a new geocache went live in Denge Wood (near Petham). There was still no find logged on it this morning. Looking at the maps it seemed as though it was a mile into the woods so we’d have shade.

We had a minor snag when the road there was closed, but we eventually got to where we needed to park. We had a good walk out to where the geocache was supposed to be. The hint was “nestled at the bottom of a tree” and with the difficulty set to the easiest rating possible it shouldn’t have been a difficult find.

We arrived to find the leaf litter had been brushed away from pretty much every tree within fifty feet of where the GPS said we needed to be. Someone else had obviously already been there and had a good look round before us.

We searched for twenty minutes before giving up. But having had a decent walk out we had a decent walk back to the car. And I took a few photos whilst we were out too.

 

We got home just as it was getting too hot.  “er indoors ^TM” sorted us iced coffee. I marked a trainee’s essay on the laboratory investigation of haemostatic abnormalities, then spent an afternoon slobbing in the garden. Reading my Kindle, playing Meowdoku, “FEEDING THE FISH”, watering the plants, having a little snooze…

 

We had a rather good dinner which we scoffed whilst watching a film. Despicable Me 4 was rather good…

7 July 2026 (Tuesday) - Too Hot (Again)

Everyone was settled last night. No one fidgeted or wanted to go shouting at seagulls and I slept through until seven o’clock.

I got up, made toast and had my little look at the Internet. It was still there, and was much the same as it ever was. This morning’s squabble was on a Facebook bird watching page where someone wanted people to identify the woodpecker he’d just photographed. The bird in question looked like a goldfinch to me (and a lot of other people too) but the chap who’d posted the photo knew a woodpecker when he saw one, or so he claimed.

 

I took the dogs up to the woods for an early walk. It didn’t seem as warm as yesterday. As we walked there was a buzzard flying low through the trees squawking like a thing possessed. I stood and watched it for a few minutes, and then realised that fifty yards away a herd of deer were also watching it too. The dogs were utterly oblivious to the deer.

We had a minor episode as we came back to the car park. As we walked up the hill I saw the old chap who’d taken a tumble a couple of months ago and who I’d helped up. I was about to explain that Pogo would probably scream at his dog, but he does that. Pogo gave a half-hearted squeak and the old bloke stamped and thrashed at Pogo and shouted at him to f… off. When I asked him if that was necessary; the old bloke got rather aggressive. When he’d finished ranting I reminded him that I’d helped him up a little while ago, and that the next time I see him lying on the ground I would leave him there. It was at that point that he pretended to be deaf, and his rather embarrassed wife tried to hurry him away.

Would I leave him laying on the ground next time? Probably not…

 

We came home. I Munzed, Wordled from “night” to “sling” which I got on the last go. I did a You-Gov survey and then wasted ages looking at audiobooks. Bearing in mind my utter inability to listen to the Adrian Mole diaries on Radio Four Extra at the weekend I had a plan to download them to my MP3 stick and play them in my car that way. Sadly the best I could find was to get them on a CD… CD – my car doesn’t have a CD player, and who has a CD drive on a laptop any more? The best I could find was some “audible” thing which would have me spending money each month. Not a lot of money, but I said that about the Sky TV. By the time I paid for Sky and the internet and Netflix and Paramount it soon added up to over a hundred quid a month.

I eventually got the Kindle app to start reading the Kindle book I’d bought ages ago, but all it would read was the copyright rubbish; not the actual story. I had this idea that I might play it from the BBC Sounds website directly on my phone, and I tried that as I set off to Folkestone, but for some reason the phone won’t play any sounds when in the car. Something to do with the Bluetooth I think?

 

I spent an hour or so running errands for “Daddies’ Little Angel ^TM” and then took her and Pogey home. It was eight degrees cooler in Folkestone compared to Ashford.

I got home and scoffed some malt loaf for lunch as I marked a trainee’s essay on iron metabolism.

 

We did “FEED THE FISH”. If I haven’t made the announcement by about half past three all three dogs follow me around waiting for the announcement. The fish got fed, the dogs had a few scraps of dried rice. Everyone saw that as a result.

I watered the plants, played Meowdoku, and checked the car’s tyre pressures. As I drove home earlier it told me one of the tyres had a low pressure. All seemed OK to me when I checked, but I’d rather have a false alarm than no alarm.

 

We had a rather good dinner (with a chilled bottle of that cheapo plonk) whilst watching another episode of “MacDonald and Dodds”. I’d be rubbish at being a detective. And to think I once seriously considered being a rozzer…