I woke far too early as I do, and being totally unable
to get back to sleep I got up, made toast and watched half of an episode of “Black
Mirror” then had a look at the Internet. It was a tad early for the usual
squabbles, but I had a message via the geocaching website. Someone was asking
for a clue as to how I’d solved a particular puzzle.
Sometimes I solve puzzles by a non-traditional technique (I swap answers for
ones I’ve solved for ones I haven’t), but I can distinctly remember being
very pleased with myself for solving this particular one. Sadly it was a while
ago and can’t really remember how I did it. I really should keep my notes… I *think*
it was something to do with prime numbers.
I set off to work through thick fog; taking care not
to run over any bin men as I went. As I've said before the local bin men have
something of an attitude about them. Not content with blocking traffic in every
direction, they make a point of lunging in the way of any vehicles which are
brave enough to try to move.
As I drove up the motorway the pundits on the radio
were talking about a job opportunity. MI6 (the bunch which James Bond
supposedly works for) have vacancies for the post of "Russian
Double Agent" and are inviting
applications from any Russian spies who want to spill the dirt on what's
going on inside the Kremlin.
How does that work as a career? Do you get a
fixed salary and leave entitlement? How would you phone in sick if you felt a
bit under the weather?
Meanwhile NASA has found extinct
Martians.
With a little time to spare I went to Sainsburys for a
sandwich and some beer for a weekend walk. As always there was no one operating
the tills so I went to the self-service tills. The machine didn't like that I
was trying to buy beer and cider, and said that I had to wait for a human to
verify me. I checked my watch and timed the delay. Six members of staff
were within ten yards of me. Three were talking whilst supposed to be filling
the shelves, two were trying to log a mobile phone onto Sainsbury's wi-fi, one
was staring into space. Six minutes passed before I heard one of them (the
one whose phone wasn't connecting to the wi-fi) say "we'd better
sort that one out". She then walked over, waved a card at the
self-service machine, and walked off again without saying a single word to me.
If there was another supermarket anywhere near work I
wouldn't go to Sainsburys; I go there so often and they really couldn't
care less about their customers.
I got to work for the early shift and cracked on. At
tea break there were biccies. Home-made biccies. They were rather good.
Work was work. An early start made for an early
finish. “er
indoors TM” boiled me up a pizza
then went off out with her mates. As I scoffed pizza and watched more “Black
Mirror” so Treacle was snarling at the window. Half a dozen police were
standing outside the house, and half a dozen others were standing on the other
side of the road. What was that all about?
And in closing, today is National
Talk Like A Pirate Day. Back in the day this was a thing... it has rather
died out in the intervening years.
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