13 May 2024 (Monday) - A Day at Work.

I woke full of energy and raring to go… at ten to one. I then dozed fitfully for the rest of the night, not sleeping for more than twenty minutes at any time. I eventually gave up trying to sleep, got up and made toast.

I scoffed it as I watched another episode of “Missions” a particularly strange French sci-fi show in which a Russian cosmonaut lost in 1967 has appeared on Mars fifty year later and has the same DNA as a lump of rock. It has either lost a lot in translation or was written in a hurry.

With a few minutes spare I had a little look at the Internet. Yet another dubious friend request; this one from Rolanda Aiko who is “a lonely and excited girl” and offers “sex and video cameras with hot pussy”.

There wasn’t much else happening on-line so I got ready for work.

 

Suitably armed with another pair of Tesco undercrackers I set off on a little pre-work Munzee mission. I got enough Points of (dull) Interest to last the month, then set off up the motorway to work. As I drove there was an interview with the MP Theo Clarke. She had a baby a couple of years ago, and had a rather traumatic time of it, and is now trying to instigate a nationwide shake-up of midwifery services. I suppose she means well, but speaking as one who has often been on the receiving end of these shake-ups it has been my experience that once the dust has settled we are left with the same old problem. Which is that people are still trying to do the best they can under less than ideal circumstances. And actually we usually have fewer people trying to do the best they can as none of the people who instigate these shake-ups seems to realise that no one goes into health care with the intention of doing a shabby job. Being told how crap you are really doesn't help staff morale, and those who waddle out of their offices to go round implying that everyone could do better if they tried always act surprised when hard-working people take offence and go and get a job which pays more money for less aggro.

If I had my time again I would do a job that periodically puts up a "closed" sign and doesn't have you terrified of being pilloried for making an honest mistake.

But this is a rant I’ve done countless times before, isn’t it?

 

I eventually got to work; the roads were rather horrendous today. I left home at seven o'clock and the journey took three quarters of an hour. A friend who lives on the other side of Ashford left home twenty minutes after me and took an hour and a half to do the same trip; it pays to leave early. I'd rather get to work, have a cuppa and read my book rather than sit in traffic burning petrol.

Work was work; at lunchtime there was a presentation from some bunch trying to sell their blood grouping machine. The machine looked OK; but the salt beef bagel they gave me looked better. Very nice.

 

I came home to find the pond filter in the little pond had packed up. That stopped working yesterday and I needed to clean out the filter medium to get it going again. Today I found it had another filter medium, and that was clagged up too.

With filter de-clagged “er indoors ^TM” sorted dinner then went bowling. I wrote up some CPD. I rarely mention on here what goes on at work, but as I always tell the trainees a day when you learn nothing is a day wasted, and I learned quite a bit at work today.

 

What with hardly any sleep last night and two days on the sauce at the weekend I’m knackered.

Time for an early night !!!

12 May 2024 (Sunday) - Having A Rest

Yesterday had been rather full-on, but I was still wide awake at six o’clock. I got up and told the world about what I’d been up to yesterday. Organising photos and writing drivel can take a surprising about of time, you know. I had a look at the logs on yesterday’s geo-meet. Most people had enjoyed themselves, but one log made me think. A Finnish pair had come along to the meet, and had spent the first little while lurking under the radar. Their log had been written in Finnish so I suspect that something was lost in translation, but I was rather miffed to read “the new faces can only wonder what's going on. Finally the leader of the meeting noticed us and claimed that everyone is very social even if they don't talk to us”. Presumably by “the leader of the meeting” he meant me… I had been talking with other new people who’d made the effort not to lurk out of the way. The chap then sent me an email asking for the answers to all the puzzles in Kings Wood

And someone else from Germany had been round Kings Wood on a bike yesterday and logged that ten of my caches were missing. Are they? I doubt it. But I shall take a walk up in the week and find out…

 

In a novel break with tradition I had a rather restful day today. Seeing a very good day forecast I posted on Facebook to see if anyone fancied an afternoon in the garden. Quite a few people had already made plans, but eight of us spent a rather good afternoon in the sunshine.

It was rather good having a bit of a relaxing afternoon… Should do that more often.

11 May 2024 (Saturday) - Rather Busy

I must admit to a degree of jealousy as I peered into the Internet this morning. Having heard that the Northern Lights might be visible last night we went into the garden several times yesterday evening to have a look but saw nothing. This morning it would seem we were the only people on the planet who didn’t see them.

I sulked a bit, had a quick Munzee session, totally failed to find what I’d done with my gaiters (where do they go?), and saw that “er indoors ^TM”  and the dogs had got up.

We had the morning turd-gathering ritual, and I reported each dog’s turd status to “er indoors ^TM”. I won’t regale my loyal readers with the particulars, but knowing your dog’s turd status is a vital part of dog-herding.

I got dressed; today trying a pair of Tesco pants, then we got ready for the day. “er indoors ^TM” found my gaiters in seconds; they were where I’d left them.

 

We set off for Dog Club and I immediately got Steve’s “Guess the Lyrics” competition on the radio right. “From nine to five I have to spend my time at work…” No? Echo Beach by Martha and the Muffins.

Dog club was fun. We stood in out usual spot; just behind the trees there was a huge puddle. Periodically one of the larger dogs would go up there, we’d hear a huge splash and they would come back dripping wet and covered in mud. We didn’t dare let our three know about it. There was a good turn-out at Dog Club – I counted fifteen dogs at one point, but I’m sure there were more. They don’t stand still to be counted.

 

Fromm Dog Club we took a little detour into the central car park in Ashford and then on to the garden centre’s car park (it’s a Munzee thing) then drove up to Bedlesmere were we met Karl, Tracey and Charlotte. Last week we put out a series of geocaches; today we walked the route like all the other hunters of Tupperware would. It was a bit easy as we knew where they all were, but it made for a good walk.

With walk walked we went on to the Red Lion. You can’t beat the place. Good food, good beer. Sausages and chips followed by rhubarb crumble. Very nice,

And with dinner scoffed we sat outside in the garden as people gathered. “er indoors ^TM” was hosting the monthly meet-up of the geocaching fraternity today. It was a rather good meet. Loads of people along. Many of the old faces from back in the day, and a lot of people who were new to the game, or hadn’t been to a meet before. I came out rather enthusiastic; just maybe we’ll get this game back to where it used to be.

 

And talking of games we came home and Chris soon joined us for a game of “Sorry!” on the mini Infinity table. I’d not played that game for years, and no one was more amazed than me when I won. Twice.

 

We stayed up till midnight in the hope of seeing the Northern Lights… 

We didn’t.

I took a few pictures today… it was rather busy.

10 May 2024 (Friday) - Perry Wood, Watercress

“er indoors ^TM” got up and took Bailey for a tiddle. Bailey is too small to get off the bed herself. Treacle then whinged and cried pathetically because her mummy had gone downstairs.

I gave up trying to sleep and came down too. After a scrape I made toast and had my obligatory root round the internet. It was much the same as ever. People on the Facebook “Auf Wiedersehen Pet” Facebook page were getting nasty with each other about pubs that didn’t take cash, atheist websites were making personal attacks on Donald Trump…

But on the plus side the nice people at Untappd had sent me a voucher for free beer. If I paid the postage (a fiver) they would send me ten beers. I thought that was a result until I read the small print. Having had the freebie I would then be expected to pay thirty-three quid a month for more beer. Seriously? Back in the day, maybe. But these days I’ve still got bottles of beer left over from last Christmas.

 

I took the dogs out… we got to the road to Kings Wood to find it completely closed up. This wasn’t entirely unexpected and I had a Plan B in mind. Perry Wood.

It wasn’t the best Plan B I’ve ever had.

It took fifty minutes to find the car park to the place. And once there… The woods aren’t huge. About the size of the woods at Orlestone, but with the car park in the middle and four roads coming in to it. In Kings Wood there’s aren’t any main roads so the dogs can run freely. Not quite so free today. But we had a little walk. I found a geocache… and didn’t find another.

 

We didn’t have quite so much trouble finding our way home. Once home I sorted a cuppa each, then I went shopping. To Tesco. I needed some odds and sods. And some new pants. New pants are a worry. I tend to get new pants which are either really uncomfortable, or really good, and I never remember where either came from. In the week I’d ordered some from Matalan. If you want pants that just roll up underneath your trousers I can’t recommend them highly enough. Sadly I don’t, and they are going in the bin. Let’s see what Tesco’s ones are like. I also got more watercress for the pond.

I got out of the shop without wringing anyone’s neck which took some serious self-control. The place was heaving but not one person in fifty was looking where they were going.

 

I came home; we had pastries and coffee for lunch, then I floated the pond planters I’d bought last week, and chucked watercress in them. Give it a few days and it will start sprouting (I hope). I painted one of the planters (that I forgot to sand down before painting for the first time), and then stopped. My knee was a tad painful.

My knee is silly. I can walk for miles with no problems. But by the time I’ve got up and knelt down a few times it knacks. So not wanting to aggravate it too much I slobbed about until dinner time.

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a rather good bit of dinner which we scoffed watching more “Race Across the World”. Had I been a contestant in the season we are watching, I would have won. Because it is a race, and not a sight-seeing tour.

9 May 2024 (Thursday) - Dog Sick, New Planter

As I scoffed toast and peered in to Facebook I read a post about the OU family. Some advertising gimmick from the Open University. Family? Seriously? I made a few good friends at the time I studied with them (1989 – 1995) but apart from some newsletter once a year I don’t hear anything from the OU any more. Much as I enjoyed my time with them, if I had my time again I wouldn’t do OU. It wasn’t cheap then, and it is prohibitively expensive now.

I saw I had seven messages. Yesterday I sent out fifty messages to people about Saturday’s upcoming monthly geo-meet. Seven people replied…

 

I took the dogs for a fairly early walk. As we drove the minister for education was on the radio co-incidentally talking about how expensive degrees are these days, and was singing the praises of degree apprenticeships. I can’t help but think that this is the way forward. When I was a lad at the Hastings Academy for Budding Geniuses, the school made no secret that the whole point of the school was to prepare you for university. Going to university was an end in itself. But back then the government gave you a grant. Now you get a loan, and run up debts. Far better to study while you work and get paid for it too. Why do people do these obscure degrees just to run up bills?

 

We got to the woods and had a good walk. As we walked we saw an animal running through the undergrowth… grey in colour and about the height of my coffee table. Too small for a deer, too large for a squirrel. I wonder what it was?

 

With walk walked we came home for a cuppa. I saw that Giana would like to be my friend on Facebook. If nothing else he (!) is quite open and says he has “created a whatsapp group for prostitution services”.

Community Standards, eh?

 

Leaving the dogs under the eagle eye of “er indoors ^TM” I went down to Folkestone for dinner with “Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM” and “Darcie Waa Waa ^TM. Littlun likes Subway, so we went there. My Dad used to like Subway. I had the steak and cheese chipotle with all the extras that “Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM” recommended. Very nice. Sadly Subway’s desserts leave a lot to be desired so we went for McFlurries.

 

I came home, half built my new planter and got another coat of paint onto it, mowed the lawn, then finished building the planter. With it in place, it certainly looks better when you open the back door than the old spare bags of chippings did. It was a shame that the ground outside the back door isn’t level, but I got the spirit level out and wedging some off-cuts underneath soon sorted the problem.

 

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up dinner which we scoffed whilst watching more “Race Across the World”. As we watched so Treacle was sick. Too many biscuits. Bailey had honked whilst I was out earlier. Too much poo-eating.

All we need is for Morgan to blow and we will have had a clean sweep.

 

8 May 2024 (Wednesday) - Tip Run, Carpentry

I woke a tad earlier than I might… I did have an alarm set. I watched another episode of “Missions” in which the writers again proudly showed their ignorance. So many sci-fi shows do this; a decent plot, believable characters… completely impossible scenarios. Why don’t the writers spend a few minutes talking to someone who knows about that which they clearly don’t?

I then had a look at the internet. There was quite a bit of talk about the Eurovision Song Contest this morning. For me it is like football in that I have absolutely no interest in it whatsoever, but everyone else seems to love it> I’m in a very small minority and I really wish I knew what I was missing.

The results of last week’s election of the Kent police commissioner had been announced. The incumbent retained his position… but with only twenty per cent of the electorate bothering to vote, it was hardly a ringing endorsement for the chap. And three thousand people spoiled their ballot papers. Had I bothered going up to the voting booth and drawing a big knob on the paper, I wouldn’t have been alone in doing so.

 

Leaving “er indoors ^TM” and the dogs in bed I set off on a little mission. Pausing only briefly to cap five urban fits (it’s a Munzee thing) I went to the tip and unloaded my rubbish. As I heaved poggerd stuff into the tip some chap was struggling to get what I can only describe as a huge wide flattish bath out of the back of his pickup truck. I asked if he was seriously getting rid of it? He asked if I wanted it, so I pointed out what a wonderful pond liner it would make. The chap’s face lit up; this had never occurred to him.

With rubbish gone I came home, collected the dogs and went to the woods. We had a good walk; marred only by one little episode. As we walked we saw some woman fighting with a huge Alsatian. She clearly had no control over it, and with it being on a lead it was pulling her everywhere. Morgan and Bailey watched from a distance of ten yards. The woman saw them and started hysterically shrieking “On the lead! On the lead!” I called over to ask what she was shrieking about. She shouted that it was impossible to control a dog if it was off the lead. I whistled; Morgan and Bailey came straight back to me. I smiled at the idiot woman, shrugged, and walked off.

Four miles later we got back to the car, and found that whilst we’d been walking someone had closed the road from the A251 to the woods. I discovered that *after* I’d driven through the closed bit. According to the internet there’s a gas leak down the road past the woods. I shall pretend I don’t know anything about it when I drive through tomorrow.

 

We came home for a cuppa, then I popped to Wickes for a couple of garden sleepers. I then sawed them into bits, dug out one of the balustrades I salvaged from the old seat we used to have by the pond (until I put my arse through it) and painted them all up… Once I’d dug the paint out from underneath and behind everything else in the shed which I’d put on top of and in front of when I’d tidied the shed last weekend.

I also found a load of stuff that I’d meant to take to the tip this morning… woops!

I shall finish building my carpentry once the paint has dried.

 

I thought about fiddling about some more, but instead got my seeds in to soak then sat by the pond reading my Kindle until it was dinner time. We scoffed dinner whilst watching more “Race Across the World”. I find myself wondering more and more about how they got the contestants for this show; They probably could have got contestants less suited to race across the world, but it would have taken some doing.

7 May 2024 (Tuesday) - A Day at Work

I didn’t sleep well, and was awake far too early. I watched the first episode of something that I discovered on the Sky-Q box. “Missions”; a very strange TV show in which a French crew were supposedly the first to go to Mars. The show didn’t help itself in that it had clearly been written by someone who didn’t have the faintest idea about how space works, and the translation from the original French into English was rather iffy at best. There are those who would say that on the plus side one of the lady astronauts flopped them out, but sadly getting the jubblies out is often a cheap trick to beef up a weak TV show.

 

Having Munzed on the sofa for a bit I took a rather circuitous route to work Munzing twenty Points of Interest as I went. As I drove I listened to the radio. I've not heard the news for a while... not much had changed. One side in the conflict in Gaza wants a cease fire; the other doesn't. Am I being cynical in wondering that had the other side agreed to a cease-fire, how long would it have lasted.

There was talk about the new Scottish First Minister. The average Scot is (apparently) up in arms as the chap wasn't voted in by a general election. I sighed. This happens every time that a governing party in British politics selects a new leader. It isn't a new development. It's how Boris Johnson got in. So why don't the masses realise this.

And there was an interview with one of the leading lights in the Labour party who seemed to be unable to answer any question put to him. Like most politicians.

 

I got to work. Not having been there for a week I got my priorities right and booked some holiday. As I worked I had an email from B&Q: would I rate them on Trustpilot? Seriously? Interestingly sixty-eight per cent of their reviews are only one star. I’m not the only one who thinks they are crap.

Work was work… perhaps a tad dull. There was certainly a lot less physical effort than a lot of my day have had recently.

 

With work done we watched more “Race Across the World”. In the second season the contestants are charging across South America. There’s a lot less jungle and a lot more desert than I thought there was.

Today was a tad dull.

6 May 2024 (Monday) - Wet Bank Holiday

I slept well, but was rather disappointed to see rain when I got up. Rain had been forecast so it wasn’t unexpected; just a shame that it was raining. Just as well I’d got the bits of the poggered garden store into my car ready for a tip run yesterday; I wouldn’t have wanted that int the car dripping wet.

I made toast and had a look at the Internet. Squabbles abounded as they usually do; but no more so than on the garden pond websites. The same people who were so vocal about not having tap water in their ponds were advocating chucking in pretty much every chemical known to science. And barley straw… if your pond isn’t clear there were those who were very vocal about chucking in barley straw. I’ve tried it in the past; it didn’t work. As others have found. But anyone who claimed barley straw wasn’t the best thing in the entire universe were being decried as liars. And as for fake herons…

 

With the weather looking a tad iffy and heavy rain forecast for later I loaded up the car for Wednesday’s tip run, then we got the dogs on to their leads and went for a little walk round Saltwood, munzing as we went.

Our walk ended just as the rain started.

We came home via Bybrook Barn garden centre. I needed a few odds and sods. The car park was full. That was not “rather busy”, that was “full”. Not a single space. “er indoors ^TM” dropped me off and I popped in to get what I needed.

What I really needed was a hooter on the trolley.

Maybe one person in fifty was aware of their surroundings. Most were utterly oblivious to the fact that there was anyone else other than themselves in the world. So many of them were just blankly standing around staring into space. And the narrower the passage or doorway, the more there were idly standing around staring into space.

I eventually negotiated my way through the swarms and got what I wanted. And then we drove home past the outlet centre. Traffic was queuing for hundreds of yards in all directions to get into that place. What is the attraction? They don’t sell anything you can’t get cheaper on-line. A chap at work is regularly cursing the place as the queues are horrendous, and when he comes out he has spent hundreds of pounds on stuff he doesn’t want. He, like so many others, goes shopping because he really does have nothing else to do.

 

We came home for a cuppa and a hot cross bun. The rain had got rather heavy, so I went out and had a look at the gutters which I’d scraped out yesterday. They weren’t overflowing today, which was something of a result. Pulling out that plant and that fag packet had done the trick…

I wonder for how long.

I put a photo of the old kite buggy on-line. The thing was old when we got it, and that was over twenty years ago. The thing hasn’t been used since 2015, and that was only riding down the hill at Stanmer Park. One of the steering struts is wedged in place, the tyres’ inner tubes have had it, I doubt the material would take my weight any more, and sadly it is just in the way.

If any of my loyal readers want it…

 

During a lull in the rain I got into the garden and did what I wanted to do today. As you step out of the back door so there used to be a couple of wooden boxes with the spare shingle and compost and stuff. It all looked a bit of a mess, so I scrubbed out the area where the poggered garden store used to be and moved the spare shingle and compost and stuff back to there. I might put a little roof over them in a bit. Or I might move it all again and swap over the spare shingle and the remaining garden store. I’m not sure.

But whatever I do, as you step out of the back door it looks a tad empty now… sorting that will be a project for the future.

 

“er indoors ^TM” went to the opticians. I read a book for a bit and woke up underneath Treacle.

I wonder what’s for dinner?

5 May 2024 (Sunday) - Having a Tidy-Up

With “er indoors ^TM”, “Darcie Waa Waa ^TM” and the dogs all up in the attic room I had a rather good night’s sleep. I didn’t hear a peep out of them all night.

I woke feeling surprisingly chipper bearing in mind the ale, port and benedictine that had gone down my neck yesterday. I made toast in a toaster which was working perfectly for a change; presumably it doesn’t like the prospect of having me fixing it. I had a look at the internet. It was rather dull at half past seven on a Sunday morning. Mind you one article caught my eye. Martin Freeman (the actor) has given up being a vegetarian and feels much better for having done so. I was reminded of a little episode many years ago when I was a cub scout leader. We were doing some badge or other in which healthy eating was brought up, and some vegetarian who had been wheeled on was utterly unable to answer an eight year old little girl who asked if we were supposed to be vegetarian, why did God make animals out of meat.

Apropos of nothing I checked the weather forecast in Samarkand, had a quick Munzee session and made an early start in the garden before it all kicked off. Perhaps a tad early, but I probably wouldn’t have been a nuisance as not-so-nice-next-door goes to church every Sunday morning.

Ironically many not-so-nice people do.

 

My plan was to empty out the garden storage boxes by the kitchen window so’s we could move them about. I opened the lid of the first, and several pints of rainwater gushed out of the lid soaking what was inside the box. Fortunately the other box seemed OK. But with one poggerd box I needed to first dry out was had been drenched, and then look to scaring up more storage space elsewhere and getting rid of rubbish.

The shed was the obvious place to store stuff, so I emptied out the big stuff and had a bit of a shift about. I started making a pile of stuff to go to the tip. Rather than agonizing over whether or not I should keep something I’ve not used in years I took the line that if it had been chewed by mice or was covered in mould, then it was going.

There’s no denying that I could have got on a lot faster without dogs and granddaughter running underfoot, but there it is.

 

Just when I was at the point of maximum chaos so I heard voices. Brother-in-law had arrived. Over the last few weeks I’ve noticed that the gutters at the back of the house had been overflowing. Brother-in-law brought ladders over today, and mother-in-law too.

We soon got the ladders up, and up I went. The gutter had been overflowing at two places. One where a plant had taken root, and another where an old pouch of tobacco had got wedged. I hoiked both out, and had a little scrape-out of the gutters as best I could. And we got the poggered garden storage box apart too. That took some doing.

We then sat at the new garden bench and had a cuppa. It was good to catch up. Lilttlun spent the time alternately wreaking havoc and snogging the dogs.

 

All too soon it was time for everyone to go. Some back to Hastings, others to Folkestone. I tidied up the mess I’d made earlier. The shed was tidy… until I filled it with stuff to go to the tip. Sadly the tip is closed tomorrow.

 

“er indoors ^TM” returned and we took the dogs round the block for a walk. Bailey was getting rather quarrelsome (she gets fractious if she doesn’t go out) so we walked up the road to the new geocache that went live a week or so ago. We soon found what we were looking for, and came home via one or two Munzees.

When I went to do the on-line geo-stuff I got told I had been given an electronic souvenir for logging a geocache this weekend. Apparently this weekend is the twenty-fourth anniversary of GPS technology being made available to the general public. I didn’t know that. I didn’t know that there were e-souvenirs to be had either. Back in the day the on-line geocaching talk would have been full of that news. Back in the day geocaching wasn’t dying on its arse.

 

Over a rather good bit of dinner we watched the last episode of the first season of “Race Across The World”. A rather good show; just a shame who won. I took an instant dislike to them.

 

I ache – I must stop doing so much physical lugging stuff about and climbing ladders. Not that I intend to climb ladders for a while.

4 May 2024 (Saturday) - Dog Club and Badlesmere

I had a little fight with the toaster this morning before I was able to get anything out of it. As I settled down to scoff it so’s “er indoors ^TM” also had a fight with it. I think she lost. She’s given me orders to repair the thing. If any of my loyal readers know anything about toaster fixing…

I looked at geocaching and Munzee maps of the Tashkent – Samarkand area. I’m rather keen on the idea of a holiday there. “er indoors ^TM”’s firm does an eleven days tour from Tashkent to Samarkand. They pick you up from home and drive you home afterwards. It’s not a bad price, and if I don’t do this sort of touring holiday soon I will be too old. And if I don’t spend my pension money on it I will either fritter it away on Lego or croak and leave it to the dogs. The government says the place is safe (provided we stay away from the Afghan border)

All we need to do is sort out a dog-sitter.

 

We got ourselves organized and set off to Repton. As we drove Steve was doing the guess the lyrics contest on the radio. I had absolutely no idea.

We got to Repton and Dog Club, and it wasn’t long before dog mayhem ensued. We had a few new dogs along today, and as always new dogs go the same way. They turn up, get mobbed by the membership, spend about two minutes looking terrified, and then are in the thick of it all.

Dog club was great, as it usually is. And as we drove off I (eventually) got the mystery year contest on the radio right. When did Star Trek: The Next Generation first appear on BBC2? 1990.

 

We drove up to Badlesmere where we met Karl, Tracey and Charlotte, and we had a rather good walk around the local fields. The footpaths round Badlesmere make for a good walk. And with walk walked we had a very good dinner in the Red Lion. The food was excellent, the drink was not too shabby at all. But after an elegant sufficiency of ale and too much port, there’s no denying that the benedictine was arguably a tad too keen.

I took a few photos whilst we were out.

 

We came home… we must have done. I woke up in front of the telly underneath a pile of dogs to the sound of the door opening. “er indoors ^TM” had gone to collect “Darcie Waa Waa ^TM” who is having a little sleepover. Having marched me up and down the garden and had a bag of “pink Christmas” (prawn cocktail crisps) she’s currently upstairs in the attic bedroom with her grandmother and the dogs.

I wish she’d keep the noise down.

 

3 May 2024 (Friday) - Lazy Day

I spent much of yesterday evening thinking about pets. We take on these animals and worry so much about them. “Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM”’s cat once went walkabout overnight; not returning until dawn. Dog walkers in Kings Wood have told me of their dogs heading off in hot pursuit of deer and not being seen for days.

Steve and Sarah’s puss wouldn’t come in when called last night. He turned up at half past three this morning.

I get twitchy when the dogs disappear in the woods; they are rarely gone for more than thirty seconds at a time.

 

I put more washing in to scrub, made toast and had a look at the Internet. It was much the same as ever. I did snigger at one of the Facebook groups I follow in which people were quite clear that it is perfectly acceptable to laugh at others for their religious beliefs, but we should all be accepting if someone identifies as some made-up gender.

And it was all kicking off on a pond related group. Someone’s pond had suffered from a heron taking fish. This someone got a plastic heron and the real heron stopped taking fish. Some people said they’d had the same experience; others claimed they were lying.

 

Ideally I would have taken the dogs up to the woods after brekkie, but the rain was quite heavy this morning, so what with today being the start of the Munzee Clan War I sat on the sofa and deployed all sorts of Munzee things. Hopefully that should chivvy our clan along a bit.

And then it was time to go to the vet to get the tick collars I’d ordered yesterday. I went via a couple of QrewZees (it’s another Munzee thing), and got to the vet to find the collars weren’t ready. I was told that I should have phoned in advance to order them. I told them that I had… It didn’t take then *that* long to sort them out.

 

Seeing the rain had eased off I came home, leaded up the dogs and took them to the woods for a late walk. We went for four miles and had a good, if muddy, walk. As we walked I replaced one broken geocache and added more log paper to two more. Geo-maintenance is much easier for me these days now that most of the caches I’ve hidden are in Kings Wood, but it still boils my piss that people who’ve found tens of thousands of the things and hidden hardly any (if any) will post logs saying that pots are broken or paper needs replacing. After all, Boots gives film pots for free, you can print your own paper log sheets, and do the required maintenance quicker than you can actually write a “Needs Maintenance” log.

 

I wrote up some CPD, then made a cuppa and sat by the pond reading a book for a bit.

“er indoors ^TM” boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst watching episodes of “Race Across the World”. I quite liked the look of Samarkand… Maybe a holiday at some point?

2 May 2024 (Thursday) - Laundry, Telly

The kebab didn’t sit well at all last night; I lay awake with stomach ache for hour after hour. I eventually got up hoping that some toast night settle it. As I scoffed toast I peered into the Internet.

I had yet another dubious friend request on Facebook. After so many of the “wipe-clean” and “chest-brandishing” variety, this one was from a rather demure-looking young lady. At first sight she looked like the sort that your mother would be pleased to see you bringing home.

Sadly, in her Facebook profile she tells the world that she is a “free sexo prostitutes”, and she has a web site. I considered clicking on the link, but my anti-virus suggested I shouldn’t.

There wasn’t a lot else going on on-line.

 

I took the dogs up to the woods for our morning constitutional. We did our usual circuit of the woods. As we walked I noticed something – a tick was crawling over Treacle’s head. A horrible great big thing. I flicked it off before it had time to latch on.

I collect their tick collars from the vet tomorrow.

Yesterday we met loads of people as we walked; today it was off-road cyclists. All friendly and civil… just loads of them. We got back to the car park to find loads of people gathering. Clearly an organized group was getting together. I asked who they were – apparently the Leeds Valley Walkers. It struck me that the most noticeable thing about them was that with over thirty people along, not one had a dog.

 

We came home. Bellies were washed, and Bailey had a more substantial scrub as she’d been rolling in something disgusting. And then I had something of a (relatively) lazy day. With “er indoors ^TM” at the office today I put washing in to scrub, did the ironing, hung out washing, put more in to scrub… all in between watching “The English Game” on Netflix; a rather good drama about football in the late nineteenth century.

 

As I watched telly and ironed the doorbell rang. My long service award from work had arrived. A Lego train set which may well form the centerpiece of a re-vamped Lego layout in the attic room, and the Lego piano. That will keep me busy.

 

Despite a relatively lazy day I’ve still cleared nearly twelve thousand steps today. Mind you one thing I didn’t do today was to vote. Today was the election for Kent’s police commissioner. There’s no denying that I have absolutely no confidence in the local police. During the current incumbent’s term I’ve been told by a serving policeman that it is perfectly acceptable for members of the public to whip my dogs with brambles (after an episode in Orlestone), and the police flatly refused to get involved when “Stormageddon – Bringer of Destruction ^TM”’s father was knocked off his bike and run over; despite the whole thing recorded on dashcam.

However what is the alternative? The Liberal Democrat candidate says a lot of words without actually saying anything, and the Labour candidate is sticking to Labour’s standard party line of “vote for us – we aren’t as bad as the others”. I considered going up to the voting office and drawing a great big knob on the ballot paper (I’ve done that before!) but thought better of it.

 

I’m hoping for a better night tonight…

1 May 2024 (Wednesday) - Gardening

I slept rather well. Not having an alarm set helps, as does having settled dogs. I shaved with a new razor blade (what with it being the first of the month) once I’d opened the packet. I wasted an inordinately long time this morning trying to open a packet of razor blades. How hard could it be? – You’d be surprised.

The only thing of note on Facebook this morning was the news that the new version of the geogaching app I use had gone live.

 

I got the dogs organized and we went up to the woods for a walk. So did loads of other people too. Usually once we are away from the car park, seeing more than two other groups is a lot. We met nine today. About three quarters of a mile from the car park we met some normal people with their dog on a lead. They glared at me in a rather pointed way. I wish people would let their dogs run. It doesn’t take *that* much effort to instill a reasonable recall into them.

As we walked we met the children from the local special school. We’ve met them before. Some of the kids stroked Morgan and Bailey, and one went utterly hysterical at the prospect of the dogs running into the camp fire they had made. As if any dog is going to be stupid enough to run into a fire.

 

We came home for a cuppa, then I popped to Bybrook Barn garden centre to get some fish for the new pond. There was a sign saying that they had to ask questions about pond keeping for the animal’s welfare. I felt rather sorry for “junior spotty” who was trying to give me the third degree on fish keeping. He insisted that I started off with five fish, and seemed rather surprised that I only wanted five. He started going on about how many fish you can have in a pond… I suggested about one twentieth of the number they had in theirs, and wondered if things were different for shops rather than for customers. But what do I know – I’ve only been keeping fish (on and off) since 1975.

 

Once home again I popped the bag containing the fish into the new pond. “Junior spotty” had said to leave it for five minutes to equilibrate… I left it half an hour. Long enough to mow the lawn and clean out the big pond’s pressure filter and watch the sparrows on the bird feeder.

The little fish immediately swam under the waterfall and hid. I left them to it whilst I pootled about the garden for a bit before sitting down for a lunch of smoky bacon flavoured crisps and a tin of Doctor Pepper. As I scoffed I kept looking at the water feature at the top of the garden. It has never worked as a water feature in that you couldn’t actually see the water doing much. So I took it all apart, demoted the rabbit water feature to “garden ornament” and had a rummage in the shed. I came up with a water feature head that looked OK, so I had an experiment with it to find the right pump setting to make it work. I maintain it was “an experiment with it to find the right pump setting” and not “spraying water everywhere”.

The upgraded water feature looks far better than it used to.

I then tried the new fish on a little fish food. They all scoffed some; that’s a good sign. And with them fed the dogs went berserk as we did the “Feed the Fish” ritual. I think we’ll keep that to the big pond.

 

By the time “er indoors ^TM” set off to visit “Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM” I was knackered. I didn’t go; I stayed home with the dogs. It can become a bit like hard work with all the dogs mobbing Pogo whilst Pogo mobs anyone he can. As the dogs snored I downloaded the new version of my geocaching app. I was rather dreading doing so as I’ve got used to the old one, but this new one is excellent. It took me five minutes to get it going, and it plays Wherigos too… on ordnance survey maps. A serious result… if you like playing Wherigo.

 

“er indoors ^TM” returned with kebab which we scoffed whilst watching the extended Christmas episode of “Bottom”. I think I’ve eaten too much kebab… 

30 April 2024 (Tuesday) - Baby Reindeer

Another iffy night. I got about an hour’s sleep before “er indoors ^TM” and the dogs came up. Rather than just having a bit of a kip like anyone else would, Bailey wanted to pick a fight with anyone she could. For a very small dog she can be very pugnacious.

I gave up trying to sleep just before five o’clock and spent a little while plunging the bathroom sink’s plughole. It doesn’t drain as well as it might.

 

I made toast, watched an episode of “Bottom” out-takes then had my usual look at the Internet. It was much the same as ever; one big argument. People of the Star Trek Facebook pages showing how they have never actually watched the show. And people on the pond-related Facebook pages looking for an argument. There was one particularly impressive squabble in which some chap wanted a waterfall for his garden pond but wanted it to be environmentally friendly and use no power at all to make the water move.

 

I set off to where I'd left my car last night (two streets away). As I walked so the Munzee magical unicorn was scattering stars in entirely the wrong direction, but I'd gathered enough over the last few days for me to chuck them down the Munzee wishing well (just outside the hairdressers) and make a wish. The thing produced a virtual Munzee I might chase - in the outlet centre.

I gave up Munzee-ing and went to get my car,

 

Needing petrol I went to the Sainsbury's in Ashford. The old bat behind the counter who has been difficult in the past has clearly been spoken to. Today she was doing the job properly; scanning the shopping and the Nectar cards just like all the other assistants. She clearly wasn't happy about it though, and had a face like thunder. Mind you she usually has that.

I drove off to work up the motorway. As I drove the pundits on the radio were talking about the delivery firm Getir which is leaving the UK market. They used to operate a business in which you ordered all your shopping from whichever supermarket you wanted and they would deliver it to you. However all the supermarkets have realised that they are missing a trick here and are now doing the deliveries themselves. As Oliver Hardy once remarked over ninety years ago "cut out the middleman Stanley".

They then started dribbling on about the current political situation in Scotland when I saw something that made me sit up and take notice.

As you come past junction seven on the M20 so the slip road leading on to the motorway becomes the fourth lane. Usually I pull over into it, but there was a car on the hard shoulder there seemingly at right angles to the way it should be. I stayed in my lane to give it space, and as I came past so I noticed it was moving. It was doing a three-point turn, and I watched it in my rear view mirror going off the wrong way back up the motorway.

 

Work was work; a rather beautiful spring day turned to rather miserable drizzle as I drove home. I gathered dog turds in the garden in the rain as the BBC’s weather app told me there was a zero per cent chance of rain in my postcode.

 

And Facebook presented me with a memory this evening. Seven years ago we went to deepest Sussex for one of our geocaching walks. Back in the day when my joints weren’t entirely poggered we would go for serious walks. Fudge could walk for miles. He wouldn’t though. He would pathetically look at Charlotte who would always carry him, and as she carried him he would glare at me as though to say not to let on that he was only pretending to be tired.

At the weekend someone commented that Morgan was Fudge MkII. When we got him I worried that he might be, and that was why I originally said no to having Morgan. But they are very different dogs.

He’s been gone over three years and I still miss my Fudge though…

 

We spent the evening binge watching something on Netflix. “Baby Reindeer” was rather good even if the end was something of a let-down.

29 April 2024 (Monday) - This n That

I went to bed last night and slept for an hour or so before the dogs woke me. I nodded off again only to be woken by the noise of one of “er indoors ^TM”’s phones randomly phoning the other. I then lay awake for much of the night before giving up and getting up. I watched an episode of “All The Light We Cannot See” then sparked up the lap-top.

The Internet was its usual brand of nonsense. Overnight my Facebook Friend count had gone down by one. Someone hates me. I saw no end of photos of Alyson Hannigan (why?) and quite a few adverts for fish pond filters. You’d think whoever makes these spybots would figure out a way of not bothering us with the adverts once we’d bought whatever it was we were looking for.

Several friends were banging on about how cash is far superior to credit cards. Cash is ideal for two sorts of people; people who like wasting their time going to a shop rather than having stuff delivered, and tax dodgers.

I had a message from “Daddy’s Little Angel ^TM” who had a guts ache. I told her it was probably wind. It probably was.

And I had an email. Yesterday I saw that the pockets were wearing through on my trousers so I ordered up another pair from Amazon. They were posted out ah twenty past three this morning and I was told they should be arriving today. That’s the way forward isn’t it? Had I been farting about with cash I wouldn’t be able to get to the shops until Wednesday at the earliest. And the fish food I’d ordered was on the way too.

 

Again I tried chasing the unicorn which was scattering magical stars as I walked to the car; today it was gambolling in the same direction as I was going, and I got six before we parted ways. I've now got enough to drop into a wishing well and make a wish. Wishing wells, magical unicorns - there really never is a dull moment in Munzee.

 

As I drove to work the pundits on the radio were talking about how the Irish Taoiseach has got the arse. Ever since the UK government got the legal thumbs-up to send illegal immigrants to Rwanda the illegal immigrants have started running to Ireland; they don't want to go to Rwanda, do they? Not surprisingly, the Irish don't want them, and the Irish want the British to take them back. The British government is taking the line that if we take illegal immigrants back from one EU country when they leave the UK, then the EU should take them back from us if they enter the UK from the EU. That strikes me as quite reasonable.  And so all of them coming across the channel from France should go back to France. The French aren't keen...

Hopefully if the word gets out that the UK won't house them any more, the illegal immigrants will stop coming, and the entire Rwanda thing will be resolved. Whilst I do feel for the poor people running from all sorts of horrors, once they are safe (entering Europe) do they really need to keep running for hundreds of miles to come to the UK? (No - they don't!)

And there was another interview with Patrick Harvie the leader of the Scottish Green party. Ostensibly being interviewed about the plight of the Scottish premier he was (just like I mentioned last week) more keen on spouting what he'd come to spout; talking through everything the interviewer put to him.

 

As I worked “er indoors ^TM” sent the news that the birds had started scoffing from the feeder I'd got them last Thursday. Just as well; it cost enough. So far they've only had a go at the seed feeder. Hopefully they will have a go at the fat balls eventually.

She also said that the fish food and my new trousers had arrived too.

And “Stormageddon – Bringer of Destruction ^TM” sent me the Weiner Dog song. Since he got his own mobile he's been sending me occasional silly videos from Lube-Tube (as he used to call it).

 

Getting home took some doing this evening. I eventually got out of the works car park at about the time I would usually get home; there was some major hold-up on the roads. I got home to find I had two friend requests on Facebook.

What a pair of delightful young ladies…

The more innocent looking one (on the left) had sent a quite indecent message with her friend request. The other one just sent the photo. However bearing in mind the sort of saucy undercrackers that these sorts usually wear, I think that this one has a lot of catching up to do…

 

I’ve got to go to work again tomorrow. Three days on the trot – can you believe it?

28 April 2024 (Sunday) - Early Shift

I was awake early this morning. As I needed to be. Rather than turning the telly on I had a look at Facebook and found myself pondering as I saw who had birthdays today.

Four friends had birthdays. One of them had been a really close friend for many years; we’d shared so many adventures together. Then one day when on a family holiday in Gran Canaria two years ago I got a message that with no notice to anyone he’d upped sticks, moved to Scotland and hasn’t been seen since.

I wonder how he’s doing.

There wasn’t much else happening on the Internet so I got ready for work.

 

I tried chasing the unicorn which was scattering magical stars as I walked to the car (it's a Munzee thing), but the unicorn wasn't going the same way as me. I left it to do its thing and drove off to work.

I turned on the radio and caught the end of some strange program about religious beliefs in the neurodivergent. It seemed that religious leaders (vicars and priests and the like) aren't keen on congregants who see the world differently to them. These people can't seem to distinguish between the make-believe which is actually make-believe (Harry Potter, tooth fairies and magical pixies) and the make-believe which the religious want us to take seriously (all the tosh the churches spout).

This was followed by some article about beef farming in an obscure Scottish island, but the chap being interviewed was on the dull side, so I turned over to my rather wonderful choice of music and sang along to that as I drove up the motorway.

 

I got to work. Not having been there for a while I checked my emails. My long service award for forty years of blood testing has come through. I had a choice of vouchers for various shops, so I went for a Lego voucher. I would rather have had cash, but I was told that I would have to pay tax on a cash award but not on a voucher. How does that work?

Lego it is then...

 

Work was work. Having been off for five days it made a nice change, and being at work forced me to leave the new pond alone to settle for a few days, and not to do any more heavy lifting.

What with four-mile dog walks and rather strenuous gardening I've been overdoing it somewhat lately. Blood testing has its stressful moments, but it is a whole lot less physically demanding than how I've been carrying on lately.

I did my bit. Still suffering from Friday's epic beer session, and still aching from last week's pond building.

 

I came home to find the grandchildren were having a day with Nanny. I had a rather good time with “Stormageddon – Bringer of Destruction ^TM” who was playing with the pond fish. “Darcie Waa Waa ^TM” was good right up to dinner time. Having spent twenty-five quid on KFC she didn’t eat a thing and just constantly screamed (for over an hour) for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

I’m sorry but I don’t have the patience for that. And being wound up made me very unimpressed to see the KFC had got the order wrong. Again. I’ve been going to that KFC on and off since 1986 and (at the risk of sounding like a reactionary old git) in all that time they’ve never employed anyone who can speak English well enough to work in a KFC. If you check the receipt you’ll often find that what you order bears no relation to what they think you’ve asked for. And the receipt is completely at odds with the food you get. And there’s no point complaining because they don’t understand what you are saying.

Just recently we’ve used the app and that works. I shall use the app next time.

 

“er indoors ^TM” has taken the littluns home. I’m sitting on the sofa enjoying the peace and quiet.

I’m still feeling grotty…

27 April 2024 (Saturday) - Feeling Rather Grim

I wasn’t feeling on top form when I woke this morning. Can’t imagine why. I made toast and had a little look at the Internet and rolled my eyes at the argument on the UK Ponds page. Someone’s pond water was green; did anyone have a solution? Someone suggested chucking in a bale of barley straw. Some said they’d done it and it worked, others said it hadn’t, and both sides were openly calling the other liars. And there was a lot of ranting about the cash machines being removed from a local hospital. The machines are old and need replacing, but because hardly anyone uses them it isn’t worth the company’s time to replace them. There was a lot of consternation being expressed by people who openly admitted they never used the machines but thought the things should remain in place as a public service.

I thought about making the observation that there used to be an actual branch of a bank in the hospital when I started working there, but that it closed through not enough people using it.

 

We got ourselves organized and set off to the Repton Estate. As we drove Steve was doing the “Guess the Lyrics” competition on the radio. “Every day is like survival. You're my lover not my rival”. It could have been anything; I hadn’t a clue. When Steve announced it was Karma Chameleon by Culture Club I had a “dur!” moment. Of course it was.

Dog Club went rather well; the dogs all had fun. There’s not really much that can be said about Dog Club; we stand in a field whilst the dogs run riot. I love it.

As we drove home I got the “Mystery Year” competition wrong by one year. Boney M singing about a holi-holiday… I thought it was 1978. It wasn’t.

 

We came home for a cuppa, and I *again* posted details about how to pay to the dog club’s Facebook page. Last week someone had complained that the text payment thingy didn’t work and suggested I might like to sort it out.. I tried it; it worked.

We then drove down to Kingsdown for the monthly geo-meet. We met up outside the pub and wandered the beach for an hour or so gathering rubbish. It was a shame that the dogs had to eat seaweed but there it is.

With rubbish gathered we stood chatting for a while – it is always good to catch up with friends. It would have been good to have spent the afternoon there, but I was rather wilting from a rather busy day yesterday and today’s adventures. I slept most of the way home.

We got home, did the “Feed The Fish” ritual and then the rain started.

 

After I’d had a little doze “er indoors ^TM” went off out with her mates. I settled in front of the telly with the dogs and watched a couple of episodes of “All The Light We Cannot See”; a Netflix mini-series. It’s about two youngsters in St Malo during the war. It is completely the sort of thing that wouldn’t appeal to me at all, but Netflix recommended it, and so far it’s bee rather good.

 

I’m going to have an early night in a bit… I’m rather suffering from the excesses of yesterday. Back in the day I could drink myself silly… not any more.