Finding myself wide awake
at half past one I got up and watched an episode of “Big Mouth” then went back to bed where I slept right through to
Treacle’s woofing fit at eight o’clock.
Over brekkie I had a
look at the Internet. A petty squabble was kicking off on one of the geocaching
Facebook pages I read. For the uninitiated, once you’ve pissed about finding a
broken sandwich box under a rock you then have to tell the world of your adventure
by writing about it on-line. Personally I put the same spiel pretty much every
time as no one ever reads what you’ve written. This is very much frowned upon
by the elite. It is thought to be rude and disrespectful to those who put a
sandwich box under a rock and have no idea that it is now broken (and has been for six months). Instead it
is suggested you write a unique little sycophantic paragraph (every single time) or two to show
respect.
However those who
advocate this literary effort also write the same old spiel pretty much every
time but change a word or two (so they
can claim its not “copy and paste”) knowing full well that no one ever
reads what they’ve written.
I couldn’t resist
stirring the pot just a little.
With a few minutes on
my hands I had a go on my disaster simulator. The
idea is that the software presents me with the sort of thing I might find
myself faced with at work and I see how I did with the added bonus that any
mistakes are a learning experience and not a catastrophe….
In
one of my favourite episodes of “South
Park”, the anti-hero Eric Cartman is approached by a camp counsellor…
Rick: “Hello Cartman, how are you today?”
Cartman: “Well I'm pissed off Rick, how are you?”
I
ended up feeling just like Eric. I was*not* happy with how it went. To be
precise, it was an interesting scenario. I did *exactly* the right things given the limitations of the software,
but it has wound me up because (without
getting too technical) it malfunctioned. Have you ever been on the wrong
end of a malfunction? It’s a pain in the arse. And this isn’t the first problem
I’ve had with the emergency simulator. Recently I watched a colleague also have
similar problems. Am I to be judged by this…. Oh well, that will be a fight for
Monday.
We took the dogs for a
wander round the park. Fortunately we’d left it late enough to miss the park
run. As we walked we met a few dogs and a few normal people. As we came home we
found a nutter walking up and down our street picking up rubbish and dropping
it in the public bn. At first I thought it rather public-spirited until I saw
her pulling stuff from people’s gardens. She can stay out of ours.
Leaving "er indoors TM" to take the
hounds off to Margate I wandered up to the train station and it wasn’t long
before I was in Folkestone with the Rear Admiral. It has been a while since we
last had a crafty half…
We started off at the Firkin where we had three pints and a
pickled egg.
We moved on to Kipps for
a pint of the black stuff.
On to the Pullman where
one of the ladies was rather demonstrable with a boobie
Then to the Weatherspoons
with the “delightful folk”
And a half of cider at
the Red Cow.
We even found a
geocache in the library (whilst drunk)
It was a shame that I
fell asleep on the train home, but (in
all honesty) falling asleep and broadcasting to the world (via Facebook) whilst drunk has become “de rigueur” in my world. I eventually got home (via the kebab shop). Once home I shared
photos of my antics with the world. And I shared a kebab with my dogs.
We all like a kebab…
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