I heaved my carcass out
of its pit this morning far earlier than I would have liked, did my usual
morning routine, and as I scoffed toast I watched the first episode of "The Pentaverate". Starring Mike
Myers it is described as a comedy, but it is more "funny WTF?"
rather than "funny ha-ha". I can remember watching Mike Myers
for the first time and during his act whenever he cracked what he thought was a
joke he would then stare at the camera as though to prompt you that it was
funny. Sadly this is something he's stopped doing over the years; if he still
did it, I for one would know when I was supposed to laugh. Once you get the
hang of his humour (and of the show) it is quite amusing, but it takes
some getting used to.
Leaving
everyone fast asleep I set off to work... once I'd scraped the ice from the
car. It was a cold morning today. With “er indoors TM” still
using my lunch box as a backup biscuit barrel I went to the co-op to get a
sandwich. I smiled at the woman behind the counter, and that was a red rag to a
bull. Oh, she was in a bad mood. Not happy at all. Some people really shouldn't
work with the public, should they?
As
I drove up the motorway there was a lot of talk on the radio of the UK's first
mainland space launch that went up last night. Sadly it didn't go up quite far
enough. There was "an anomaly" and the whole thing ended in failure. So far it seems all
that is known is that the thing failed because of "an anomaly",
but that didn't stop the radio wheeling on an expert to spend ten minutes
saying that he knew nothing. This expert refused to be drawn on how much money
went down the toilet with the rocket's failure. Can you blame him. Were the
satellites insured against being pranged on blast off? Amazingly there are about twenty companies
which offer such insurance.
There
was also talk about how the government is bringing in anti-strike legislation so that if there is a
strike in a hospital or other public service institution, certain minimum
service levels must be maintained. I wonder exactly what those minimum levels
would be? Quite likely lower than whatever is being achieved on a daily basis
already, I expect...
I
got to work for the early shift, and did my bit. As I peered down the
microscope so my phone rang (well, wibbled as it was on silent mode). “Daddy’s
Little Angel TM” had taken “Stormageddon – Bringer of
Destruction TM” to the dentist for a filling. I am reliably
informed that he wasn’t keen on it. I have vague recollections of “Daddy’s
Little Angel TM” once biting a dentist so I suppose “Stormageddon
– Bringer of Destruction TM” not being keen is something of a
result.
With
work done I came home and got home just as it was getting dark I took the dogs
round the roads, then all four of us settled on the sofa and Alexa played
instrumental music whilst we all slept for over an hour until “er indoors TM”
came home. She boiled up a very good bit of dinner which we scoffed whilst
watching the second episode of the latest season of “Lego Masters: Australia”.
And then cheese and red wine… The dogs all sit with me and they get cheesy
biscuits. They love it – it is clearly one of the highlights of their week. In
years gone by dogs got cheese, but when poor Fudge had blood tests his
cholesterol was through the roof. The vet could never understand why… I could.
No cheese for dogs these days.
And
in closing today… My phone has been talking to my watch (oh, brave new world…)
and together they have decided that over the last week I’ve walked more than
two thousand steps per day than the average person of my age. I’m in the top
sixteen per cent of everyone who records their steps.
So the burning question
must be “why am I such a fat sod?”
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