As
night shifts go, last night’s wasn’t one of the better ones. I wouldn’t say
that I was busy, more than that I didn’t stop. All night long. Hospitals are
always on the go.
As
I got on with it last night I found myself thinking about what I’d seen when I
went shopping before the shift. As I’d pootled round Sainsbury’s there was a
woman in full Tesco uniform pushing a trolley in which was one of those cubical
Deliveroo bags. She had a shopping list on her phone and was quite openly
filling the Deliveroo bag with stuff on that order… What was that all about?
Surely she would have been better going to Tesco if only to save time (because
she clearly works there) and because (presumably) she’d have got a
staff discount?
With
work done (and no staff discount!) I came home through torrential rain
listening to the radio… or trying to listen to the radio. Some years ago I
realised just how ignorant I was of current affairs and so I now make a point
of listening to the morning news as I go to and from work. Sometimes it is
interesting, sometimes it is frustrating. Today it was just tedious. This
morning the Shadow Minister for something-or-other was being interviewed, and I
can only describe the chap interviewing her as “being a dildo” (a
crime for which “Daddy’s Little Angel TM” once grassed me up to “er
indoors TM”). No matter what she said, the interviewer had to
challenge it; changing his own position completely several times each minute.
If this woman had claimed that water was wet, the interviewer would have asked
her why she thought that was so.
I
gave up and sang along to “Ivor Biggun” songs as I drove through the
rain.
I came home to
consternation. There was a turd on the living room carpet and not having seen
the deed being done, “er indoors TM” didn’t know on whom she
should unleash an arse-kicking. Through a logical process of elimination, I
determined the culprit. I knew it wasn’t me, I don’t think it was “er
indoors TM” (as the turd was too small for her),Treacle
goes outside, and if he’s going to do it inside, Morgan goes on the laminate
flooring in the back bedroom. That only leaves one suspect…
With
turd gathered I had a shave and went to bed from where I listened to Treacle
barking at pretty much everything she could. Later in the day when I was out of
my pit she was absolutely sparko, but she was the embodiment of vigilance as I
tried to sleep.
I
gave up with bed after a couple of hours, and seeing the rain had let up I
walked the dogs round the block. I thought about going to the woods, but I
don’t like driving after a night shift and although the paths are quite decent,
the areas off the paths where the dogs run can be rather wet and grubby.
As
we walked up the road there was a landscape gardener having an argument with a
traffic warden. The traffic warden didn’t like the fact that the landscape
gardener had parked his van straddling the kerb whilst the chap emptied a lad
of garden waste from a garden into the van. The traffic warden clearly has no
issue with the delivery vans that regularly park in exactly the same place, or
the customers of the local shop who also regularly park in exactly the same
place. I suggested to the traffic warden that he might like to walk fifty yards
down the road and do something about the cars on double yellow lines belonging
to people having haircuts in the hairdressers, but the traffic warden wasn’t
interested.
They
rarely are.
I
spent the afternoon doing the ironing whilst watching episodes of “Four in a
Bed”. In today’s shows there was one chap who was *incredibly*
critical of everyone else’s cooked breakfasts, but when it was his turn to
host, not only did he not offer a cooked breakfast, he just put out croissants
and fruit the night before, and left them to go stale overnight whist he then
had a lie-in… and then had the gall to take offence when others told him how
crap his service was.
I
love that show…
“er indoors TM” boiled up a rather good bit of dinner which we
washed down with a bottle of plonk.
Here’s
a tip… if you are going to get someone a bottle of wine for Christmas (because
you don’t know what else to get them), get them something from the Sainsbury’s
“House” range. It will set you back less than a fiver, and it is good
stuff…
And if any of my loyal
readers want to get me a pressie…
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