I was again up at silly
o'clock and in the garden supervising a (supposedly) tiddling
dog before dawn. Over brekkie I watched one of my favourite shows;
"Toddlers and Tiaras". In today's instalment there
was consternation as one of the toddlers was continually punching all
the other toddlers. This brat's mother though the child was "sassy".
I was reminded of my
nephew trying such a move with me at a similar age. I grabbed him by
the scruff of his neck, upended him over the toilet and threatened
him with a bogwash. He's never punched me since.
Mind you he's getting
bigger; in a couple of years time he will be bigger than me. I wonder
if he's biding his time.
As I drove to work the
pundits announcing the news on the radio were somewhat contradictory.
They started off by saying how Margaret Thatcher and Winston
Churchill both liked a little nap in the afternoon, and how research
has now shown that such a nap actually reduces
the risk of heart disease.
However they also said
that slobbing about in front of the telly increases your risk of a
life-threatening
thrombisis.
Presumably as long as you
fall asleep in front of the telly all will be well?
Being Sunday the radio
mostly featured articles of a religious nature. The output seemed to
be thought-provokingly inspiring, but was actually utter twaddle.
Most people probably
wouldn't have realised that it was utter twaddle because most people
tend to stop listening to anything religious or spiritual after a few
minutes. In the early 1980s I was seriously considering becoming a
vicar (really!). Perhaps I should have done. I could have
given such wonderful sermons. The good thing about a vicar's sermon
is that clearly no one listens to them because they are filled with
such contradictory nonsense. Vicars can say any old rubbish and get
away with it.
Take today's vicar; the
(ex) Bishop of Louisiana. The chap was in New Orleans at the
time of Hurricane Katrina. He was able to quite glibly gloss over the
actual hurricane itself as being nothing to do with God. But
apparently one of the wonderful things about the church's ministry in
the area after the hurricane was that far fewer people their rent
their homes and far more own them. Presumably the hurricane was
planned so that God could wipe out the lower orders.
Another religious type
actually said the hurricane had been sent by God as a punishment for
some gay pride rally which was going on at the time, but completely
missed the fact that about the only area of the town which wasn't
devastated was the area where the gay pride rally was taking place.
There was then an
interview with a "reverend professor" (how does
that work?). Academics at Durham University have been given a
grant to improve scientific
literacy among Christian leaders.
Apparently most religious
leaders see science as a competing religion. The idea of the grant is
to explain to them that science isn't actually yet another crackpot
sect competing for dwindling congregations. Science is in fact an
attempt to explain the universe in which we live.
There is probably some
mileage in explaining this to the general public as well.
I'm personally of the
opinion that any fool could see that science is actually something
which will blow religions out of the water, but what do I know
I got to work and spent
much of a busy day sulking that I wasn't with everyone else enjoying
an afternoon's barbecue in Steve's garden. Mind you the day passed
quickly and I was soon back in Ashford. Rather than going straight
home I popped to the Riverside. "Access All Areas"
were playing and most of the usual suspects were in attendance. It
was good to catch up.
I was smiled and and
grinned at an awful lot whilst I was there. It always amuses me when
the younger men look at me and smile in a rather embarrassed sort of
way. So many of them must have been ex-cubs and remember me. I don't
look *that* different. I wish they's say hello and tell me who
they are. I remember them all, but in my mind they are all still nine
years old.
The plan was to only stay
for a swift half; I downed four pints. Hope this rain clears up soon;
we're supposed to be going for a walk in the morning...
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