7 April 2010 (Wednesday) - Politics

In what I can only imagine being a fit of jealousy aimed at my car’s oil level, my iffy chodbin, my leaking roof or my noisy PC (or any combination of these), the pond filter has joined my list of problems by blocking up.

At least that is one problem which is easily solved. It might smell a bit, but fish poo washes off (eventually).

I see the Prime Minister has chosen the date for the general election. I suppose I should apply for a postal vote. But who would get my postal vote? When I was coming up to voting age the country was on the brink of collapse through a Labour government powerless to deal with the unions. We all voted in Margaret Thatcher who kicked the unions “squarr in the nuts”, then kicked Johnny Foreigner out of the Falklands and generally acted like she was running the country. Love her or loathe her, we all admired her. Or did we? We kept voting for her; in retrospect because the Labour party at the time was nothing short of a bunch of crackpots. Eventually the crackpots picked a winning formula: that formula being to adopt the policies of the bunch who were actually in power. And so when we all got fed up with the sleaze allegations against the government of the mid-nineties, we voted in Labour because they didn’t come over as a bunch of crackpots – they sounded like the current government but without the loose morality.

And so things turned full circle. Labour in power – this time the Tories were in disarray, and they adopted Labour policies. And so after eighteen years of Labour copying Tory and thirteen years of Tory copying Labour we now find ourselves with the two main parties all but indistinguishable from each other. Effectively we have the choice of Salt & Vinegar or Cheese & Onion crisps. Monster Munch or Hula Hoops aren’t an option.

Who will I vote for? I made up my mind when I heard that Brian Blessed was standing for Parliament. I decided that I’d vote for whichever bunch he was standing for. But it turns out I was misinformed – Mr B wouldn’t seem to be standing for election after all.

Having had a look on Wikipedia to see what choices I’ve got, I’m rather of the opinion that it will make no difference who I vote for, since the current MP has got half the vote already. It will take a swing of twenty five per cent to shift him, and I can’t see that happening.

I might just show my disgust for the whole thing by wasting my vote on the Liberal Democrats or someone else that frankly hasn’t a hope. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve done that…