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8 Mo-Vember 2009 (Sunday) - A Garden Project

That infernal vicar was clanging his equally infernal bell at 9am this morning. I wish he wouldn’t do that. After half an hour’s continual noise, I was dressed and ready to march up the road to complain, but he stopped at that point. I know I keep grumbling about the church bell. One day I’ll have a go at the vicar. But not today. Instead I added a calendar to the blog. I think it looks good, but then at heart I’m just a sad trekkie.


The plans for the day went out the window when ‘er indoors TM announced that a niece was having a roller disco party and we’d been invited (at one hour’s notice). Over the years said niece has made her dislike of me quite evident (you can’t be popular with everyone – or I can’t!!), so I thought I’d give the party a miss. Instead I got a lift to the hospital to collect my car. And then up to Bybrook Barn to get the stuff for a garden project I’ve been planning to do for weeks. There’s a load of soil which comes out from under the fence in the front garden, and during the summer the weeds in this area get to be over two feet tall. So, having made the front of the house half-way decent over the last few months, I thought I’d gravel over the problem bit. After all, I like gravelled areas.


My Boy TM ” is always useful to have around when there’s work to be done. But he had a flat battery in his mobile. Which was a shame – I was hoping he might help with the fetching and carrying. I’ve done gravelling before, and whilst it’s a straightforward job, some of it does require heavy lifting. I would have got on quicker if we had any sharp scissors. The idea of a gravelled bit is to stop weeds growing through. And the key to stopping the weeds is to lay down a membrane which goes under the gravel. This membrane comes two metres wide, and you then cut the stuff to size. Which is easier said than done, as you need somthing sharp to cut it. We had plenty of knives which chewed at it, but it took an age to find something that could actually cut, rather than chew the membrane.


And then a minor hiccup. It soon transpired that I had too many edging stones and not enough gravel. So back to Bybrook Barn to ask the nice lady if I could do a swap. Fortunately I had planned for this eventuality (I’ve done this before) and had arranged with the nice lady that I might be back to change excess of one for insufficiency of another. And the nice lady was incredibly helpful too.


Even allowing for an extra trip to the garden centre, I had the job finished in less than two hours. Which wasn’t bad. It would have gone a lot faster if I had the assistance of my padawan. Funny how his phone battery goes flat at the most convenient times. He arrived home half an hour after I’d finished, and said that I should have asked him to help me (!) And then he went fishing.


I then spent the afternoon making yet another crossword to send in to the chokey. “A generously-proportioned lady who honestly just eats like a mouse but whose glands scoff vast quantities of deep-fried spuds (13)” (chippopotamus). I’ve another eleven crosswords to compile before he’s released. With an average of twenty clues per puzzle, that’s another two hundred and forty clues I’ve got to devise. I’m going to struggle to come up with that. And speaking of the chokey, “Norman Stanley” phoned just as I was about to print this week’s letter to HMP Slade. Regular readers may recall an incident involving policemen and immoral ladies’ calling cards from a few weeks ago (October 21). I had this idea to send in some cards advertising the services of ladies of loose morals. Well, it seemed a good idea at the time. He never received that letter, but has had ones I sent since. It’s odd how a full-blown grumble mag got through, but they censored a tart’s calling card.


And then to NeverWinter. The particular game I’m playing at the moment has the most convoluted plot. I *think* I know what I should be doing, but unless I start making some progress with it soon , I shall give up and start another mod….


Beard Update: It looks awful, and the sponsorship is still at zero….


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