14 October 2009 (Wednesday) - Ironing, Diversions, Basketball

Up at the crack of dawn, and on with the ironing for an hour or so, whilst watching the antics of Space Pilot John Lee. He is the man – Japan’s answer to Gerry Anderson invented Star Fleet some time ago, and it is so awful, it’s actually brilliant. Take this morning’s episode – the hermaphrodite baddie utterly destroyed Star Fleet’s Pluto base. Following a continued bombardment with laser torpedoes, it was totally trashed beyond any possible repair. There was nothing left but smouldering ruins. And for good measure, the baddies then blew those ruins up. Some scary looking puppet with a bad haircut (who was actually the good guy) sent out a couple of spanners with a hammer, and they fixed it up, good as new, in five minutes. Quality…

Having cut myself shaving this morning, I set off for work with bits of loo roll adhering to my face in a lame attempt to stop the bleeding. I knew things had got off to a bad start what with Space Pilot John Lee and the shaving laceration, but I wasn’t expecting what came next. As I was driving up the dual carriageway toward McDonalds, there were juggernauts coming over the hill. Coming straight at me in my lane. Pausing only briefly to scrape my pants out, I realised they had a police escort. It turned out that a lorry had overturned on the roundabout by the motorway, but I didn’t know that at the time. All I knew was that I found myself diverted back the way I came. Being in need of salad (how lame is that?) I decided to go via Sainsburys. However thanks to the traffic problems, it took an age to get there. And when I did, I was greeted by the staff brandishing tissues and sponges – my shaving cut was still bleeding. I eventually got to work over an hour after I left home – I have walked to work faster.

I eventually got to work, and received a revelation. I’m not the only bloke on the planet that does ironing. One of my junior colleagues was also up at silly o’clock doing ironing. He has this theory that when his beloved sees all his hard work, she will be suitably impressed. And therefore will give him “a portion” as a reward later. If that’s the case, I think I’ll give up ironing here and now.

A phone call from the chokey. “Norman Stanley” has once more played basketball. Following last week’s 42-2 defeat, and “Norman Stanley” throwing up after three minutes physical exertion, this week’s game was more successful. The team they were playing against had lost their last game 78-0, so the “Harlem Globetrotters” went into the game in high spirits. They lost 28-2.

And in closing, I received a comment on yesterdays’ blog entry. Well, I received two. Cheers Andy – but I’ve figured out PowerPoint. But do come along to AstroBash on the 24^th to see the finished presentation. And the dalek. And the bouncy castle. And the ….. you get the message, I’m sure. I hope all my loyal readers can come to AstroBash – it’s going to be fun.

But the second comment I received I rejected. Karim left a link to a website which he claimed was a “Very thoughtfull post on Self Improvement. It should be very much helpfull”. Sorry, Karim, but this is my diary, my reflections and my rantings. If there’s going to be anyone doing blatant profiteering, it’s going to be me. Does anyone want to buy a candle…..